A Thousand Miles from Yesterday

The first autumn storm shook the brightly coloured leaves on the great old oak in the Granger\'s backyard, as Hermione and Draco sat on the patio each sipping on a cup of hot chocolate. "So… The Mediwitch think it will be hard for you to conceive?" Draco\'s eyes followed a bright yellow oak leaf as the wind tore it from its branch.



"She asked if I ever had suffered any hard blows to my stomach… And well I have been in the war against Voldemort… Didn\'t ever think it would give me any problems further down the line." Hermione sighed. She hadn\'t really thought of babies in her time at Hogwarts. The first five years it hadn\'t been an issue and the last two she had only worried about the war against Voldemort. But now, after her visit at St. Mungo\'s, it was all she could think about.



She knew that it was much too early for her and Draco, but the fact that it could turn out to be a long hard battle to even get pregnant made it seem urgent for her to try. And it was very clear, judging from his reactions, that Draco really didn\'t see himself as a father anytime soon. "Maybe it will pass, these panic attacks." Hermione wondered. "I am only 18, so there is no reason why I should panic now!" She sighed again and took another sip of hot chocolate as rain slowly dotted the ground in small dark spots.



Draco smiled and put down his cup. "Come on, \'Mi…Dance with me in the rain… Let it wash away you worries." He grabbed her hand and dragged her out into the drizzling rain. First he held her close and slowly danced them round. Then he loosened his grip around her waist, only to take her hands and in a faster and faster pace, swirl them round and round till both were laughing and oh so dizzy. When they let go they tumbled to the ground, lying on their backs, laughing and letting the rain pour over them.



For each raindrop that hit his body, Draco felt more and more free; more and more of his guilt washed away by the smallest drops of rain. "I\'ve bought a flat… Down near the town centre… I\'m moving out of the Manor when all this is over," Draco whispered afraid of saying it out loud but still wanting to share it with \'Mi. She reached for his hand and whispered back, wondering how his parents had taken it, making Draco laugh. "Mum wasn\'t too happy about it, but accepts that I am an adult and told me that she knew it was coming. Lucius went ballistic, yelling if they weren\'t good enough anymore, if the only thing I wanted was money… If he knew that mum already has moved all my inheritances to my own vault at Gringotts…" Draco grinned.



"When are you moving in?" Hermione turned and looked at the blonde wizard next to her, seeing his pride in being a home owner. "Well… Ummm…They are decorating and furnishing it at the moment…So it will be ready on the day I\'m a wizard again." He knew Hermione had a thing against keeping house elves, so he thought it best not to say it. "It is rather big… A living room/dining room, big kitchen, two spare bedrooms and the master suite… There is room for you too… Even just to stay over if…" Draco wanted to slam his head into the grass, he sounded so pathetic and unsure of himself, he was glad there wasn\'t anybody but \'Mi in the garden. When had he become such a wimp?



"Well… I don\'t know… I was planning on taking my N.E.W.T.s next year… I\'ve talked it over with McGonagall and it will be possible to take it partly by mail-studies and only going to Hogwarts twice a week… So I can\'t afford to move out, right now," Hermione whispered back regret clearly shining through her voice. Draco frowned and asked if he had said anything about her paying him to stay in the flat. Hermione raise her eyebrows in wonder, stating that she wouldn\'t be comfortable sponging off him. "Hmmm…You think McGonagall would let me take the N.E.W.T.s by mail-order to? If so, you could pay me in tutoring lessons…Hate to admit it, but we both know you beat me in Transfiguration. I could use some help so I can get at least an E." Hermione was beginning to get cold and sat up. "Well, I know Harry and Ron have received the same offer, so I can\'t see why not… What topics would you be taking as N.E.W.T.s?"



"Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Potions and Transfiguration... Hate Herbology, but it might be useful if... Well, later…" Draco avoided her eyes, not wanting to give away his plans for the future just yet. He had to be sure he could get in and he knew it would be difficult just because he was a Malfoy. "Hell, I think I\'ll even have a go at Muggle-Studies… Back to basic, eh?" He grinned and rolled onto his side. Looking into her eyes, he asked her what she was planning to N.E.W.T. and wasn\'t surprised when she raised her shoulders and said them all. "You are serious? Well if anybody can do it you can!" Turning his head as Katie called for them to get out of the rain, he realized that soon he would leave this surrogate family of his and be facing his real one again.

Lucius… How was he ever going to face him without wanting to hurt him? Helping \'Mi to her feet he gave her a tired smile and pulled her in, whispering that his offer would be there if she changed her mind. "Hell… If it would make you feel better I can ask Potter if he needs a room!" He sighed as they walked back into the house and she promised to think about it.





Draco didn\'t have long to prepare himself for his meeting with his father. On the first day of October he received a letter from Chief Warlock Ogden commending him on how well he had behaved through these many months. In the light of that it had been decided that he would become a wizard once more on All Hallows Eve. "Then I\'ll have to go home as I still have all my wizarding items back there!" Draco had said in a sinister voice, holding the letter forth to John with a hard look in his eyes.



"You won\'t have to go alone… We will gladly accompany you to the Manor. You can always excuse it with you needing a car to transport the goods, as it would be difficult to fly it in without us Muggles wondering a lot!" John said with a crocked smile. Draco lifted his shoulders and stated he couldn\'t avoid the bastard forever, so he might as well use this opportunity. With a grimace mixed with repulsion and grief, he turned and climbed the stairs and when John and Katie heard the door slam they looked very worried.



And for good reasons it turned out. In the days that followed Draco became more and more distant, even towards Hermione. He snapped at them when they asked him to help with the dishes, locked the door to the bedroom and slowly the cold, hard look that hadn\'t been in his eyes for almost a year returned, making Hermione cry herself to sleep at night. John finally had enough after about a fortnight, when Draco made both Katie and Hermione cry by being extremely rude. He just snapped and threw Draco up against the wall demanding the girls leave for a long walk, still holding a teeth-grinding Draco pinned to the wall.



"Don\'t EVER talk that way to my girls again… EVER!" John bellowed into Draco\'s face shortly after the front door slammed shut. To John\'s surprise Draco\'s face went from a mask of maliciousness to a grimace of pure pain and regret as tears of despair started to flow. Slithering down to the floor, Draco letting his anger, pain and sorrow out for the first time and didn\'t even care that anybody saw him. He felt the knot that had formed in his soul tighten; he couldn\'t get his mind to accept that he soon had to face the father that had rejected him and left him to face Azkaban on his own.



The pain of being thrown away by his own blood, the anger towards his father, and the sorrow of knowing he had hurt so many trying to be like that self-righteous bastard was eating him up from the inside out. He didn\'t know what to do and slowly just slithered down into foetal position, giving a scream whenever John tried to touch him.



Not knowing how to get through to Draco, John did the only thing he could think off: he ignored Draco\'s screams and climbed down onto the floor, pulling Draco into a tight embrace. At first Draco struggled, screaming as if in pain, but slowly he calmed down and his screams turned into heartbroken whimpers. Draco had never allowed himself to breakdown, he came close once, but this was the first time ever he had cried over how stupid he had been, how blind he had been when it came to his father. And how much it had shocked him to be rejected and left to fend for his own life.



"Why the hell didn\'t you come talk to me, instead of holding it all inside stupid boy?!" John whispered as Draco\'s whimpers gave away to deep breaths and John loosened his embrace. Draco just sighed and shook his head, feeling exhausted and just wanting to sleep. He made a displeased sound when John demanded him to sit up. Draco knew he might as well do as asked, knowing John would continue to ask him till he did. So with the last strength in him he managed to sit leaning his head on the wall.



"So… Why didn\'t you feel you could talk to me?!" John said in a concerned voice, studying Draco as if it was the first time he saw him. Sighing, Draco said he wasn\'t used to talking about things like this with anybody besides his mother, but this time she hadn\'t been the right one to talk to as she had said she thought it was childish of him to keep a grudge against his father for so long and without hearing his reason for reacting as he had at the trial. "So… You felt she rejected you, too?" John said more as a fact that a question. As Draco looked away and a tear ran down his cheek, John\'s face was the one that looked cold and hard.



"You don\'t have to go back there, son… We\'ll get your things together for you!" John whispered and made a decision to have a heart to heart with Narcissa to hear what the hell she had been thinking! Offering Draco a hand to stand he said he\'ll explain it all to the girls and if Draco wanted to go to bed now, he would understand. With a tired, but grateful smile Draco went upstairs and collapsed onto the bed drifting into a restless sleep.



Draco realized he had forgotten to close the door as he awoke to John screaming at what sounded like an angry Narcissa Malfoy. "… and how DARE you reject Draco\'s wounded feelings as petty. Your gracious husband took your son\'s faith and threw it up into the wind, not caring if it sent Draco to Azkaban or not." John\'s voice was trembling with fury as he continued yelling at Narcissa who couldn\'t get a word in. "You don\'t even deserve to call yourself his mother."



"Now wait a minute, Mr. Granger… And give me a chance to explain!" Narcissa\'s voice echoed up the staircase and into the room where Draco lay holding his breath. "Have you EVER considered that IF Draco had been on trial along with us he would have been judged much harsher? That Lucius did what he did out of desperation to save his son from the gallows?!" Narcissa sounded so venomous that Draco could imagine John Granger recoiling at her words.



Draco had never considered that possibility, no one had! Could it be that Lucius Malfoy had sacrificed his status as a wizard to save his son? Was it possible that his father had tricked not only his family, but the entire wizarding world? Yes, it was plausible, seeing that he had been the one to teach Draco to act believably calm even when he was all but on the inside. Had it all been an act…?





"I am grateful that your daughter defended my son… I am thankful that your family took him in… But now he has to come home to HIS REAL family… Farther and son need to make peace…Hasn\'t the war torn enough families apart?!" Draco could easily see his mother\'s face before him, looking distant and cold as she demanded to see her son. "NOW! Mr. Granger!"



Draco quietly got up and had already taken the first step down the staircase when John reached the bottom step. John looked angry and very pale, about ready to punch someone\'s head in. Draco smiled and squeezed John\'s shoulder as he passed by the man he had come to think off as his second father. He mimed "It will be alright!" and then put on the cold and distant mask as he turned to the fireplace. In an icy voice he said, "Mother!"



Narcissa looked overjoyed to see him, but her smile faded when she saw his eyes. He had shut her out and it was clear as day that he held her responsible for the pain and bitterness he had felt since their last conversation. "Draco… Please, don\'t shut us out… Don\'t shut me out… Please!" Narcissa seldom begged for anything but her mother-heart could not handle being pushed away by her son; he was the only thing she had ever made that had any value and she wasn\'t ashamed off.



"I assume you have something to say to me besides your pathetic pleadings for my affection." Draco sneered and looked away as if he was bored, but it was only to keep the tears that threatened to fall hidden from his mother. With a deep sigh he turned and looked into the flames again and saw his mother weeping silently. "I miss you Draco and so does your father. You can believe it or not, but it hurts him as much as it hurt you when he decided to take a risk and let someone else defend you."



"So he only pretended to beat me like a dog, then!" Draco hissed and added Lucius looked happy enough that Draco was left to defend himself. "Didn\'t you hear anything your mother said, son!" Lucius Malfoy\'s face glided in next to his wife\'s. "I know you must have heard some of this conversation, even if you were upstairs." Lucius looked tired and feed up with this situation. Draco\'s heart was beating in a pace so fast that Draco wondered if it was about to explode and he answered that he had heard some.



"It is like you prefer to push us away and don\'t care to hear the truth, but here it is. I overheard our dear defender make a bargain with the prosecutor; she would go easy on your mother and me if she were served YOUR HEAD on a silver plate… I didn\'t want to see you in Azkaban, so I had to act fast and you know the outcome. You\'ve might been bruised and battered, but you\'re still alive!" Lucius narrowed his eyes and said in an ice dripping voice, "Now you at least know the truth but if you still prefer not to visit your childhood home again… I\'ll personally pack your belongings and send them to the Grangers!"



Through all of the time his father spoke, Draco had been fighting the urge to scream at him that he could have told Draco his plan; Draco could have acted convincing even with the knowledge of Lucius\' plan… But he knew it had had to be perfect and when he, Draco, authentically didn\'t know about it, his reactions were real and would be registered as so, if the Wizengamot had decided to check his feelings.



After some time of quiet Lucius broke the silence, "So, what will it be, son… Shall we set a table for three to a Halloween dinner or shall we send your belongings to the Grangers?!" Draco frowned and was about to answer, but to everyone’s surprise Katie Granger answered, "Set a table for six as we Grangers are coming too!" Katie stepped up to Draco flanked by Hermione and her husband. "It only seems logical, as we might well become in-laws and Draco will also need help transporting his belongings to his flat… Shall we say around 5 o\'clock just in time for tea?"



The flabbergasted looks on Narcissa\'s and Lucius\' faces made Katie realize they hadn\'t known that their son was dating the Granger\'s daughter. It was quite hilarious to see the two Malfoy\'s nod in slow motion and murmur that that would be fine. Draco couldn\'t help but smirk; it wasn\'t often he saw his parents look so shocked. Well, he had always complained about what a pain Hermione was, so it was an understated slight surprise that the two of them fell in love. "Did I forget to mention that?" Draco snickered. "My mistake… Well, guess we\'ll be seeing each other at Halloween then… Bye!" and he broke the connection.



Draco turned around with a grin that faded to outright shame as he was confronted with two sad eyed Granger girls. "I\'ve been a quite significantly classified brat lately… I know and I\'m truly sorry… I don\'t expect you two to ever talk to me again, but please accept my apologies." Draco felt awful and looked away in shame. "Now you\'re just plain stupid… Why wouldn\'t we talk to you? We know it\'s been hard on you, it\'s only natural to take it out on the ones nearest to you!" Katie shook her head, tsked and said it wasn\'t alright he lashed out at them, but they accepted his apologies and that it was best not to focus more on that silly thing. After giving Draco a hug she left for the kitchen followed by John who gave him a smile and closed the door to the kitchen, so to give the young ones a chance to talk.



"So… I think you owe me an apology… Don\'t you?" Hermione looked at Draco, her golden brown eyes glistering with tears and her arms crossed over her chest, making Draco feel like even more of a bastard. "\'Mi… I don\'t know how to… Can I ever make it up to you?" he whispered as he reached out his hand to her. He was relieved she took it and he pulled her into his arms. They just stood there in silence holding onto each other. "You have to learn that you can always come to me if something is eating at you!" Hermione looked at the young man standing so close, she wondered how many time he would make her cry in their time together.



"I promise I will try… But it\'s so far from what I\'ve been use to…" Draco whispered as he looked at the beautiful brunette in his arms, wondering how long she could handle him hurting her even if it wasn\'t on purpose. "I don\'t want to lose you for being stupid…" He felt his throat constrict at the thought of losing her; the one person in the world who had seen behind his cold and cruel mask. Without her, the world had nothing to offer. "Please move in with me!" It slipped out unintentionally and he wished he had the opportunity to take it back as he didn\'t want to push her.

Hermione smiled and said she still was thinking about it. "If you convince Ginny and Harry to share the apartment I\'ll move in… Safety in numbers!" She winked and grinned as she slipped out of his arms and ran for the kitchen with Draco laughing just behind her.





On All Hallows Eve\'s morning Draco was awaken by some rather hard knocks on the door to his room. He had barely opened his eyes when Chief Ogden strode into his room with a cheerful, "Good Morning, Mr. Malfoy… Draco… Mind if I call you that? Good… I\'ve come to personally hand over a new wand to you as well as the right to use it once more… Welcome back to the Wizarding world, young man!" Ogden threw a fine wooden box at Draco.



Draco looked utterly confused and stuttered that the wand had to choose the wizard, so he appreciated the gesture of the wand, but it might not be the one for him… When Ogden laughed and just told him to open the box, Draco did so with a skeptical frown and then his jaw dropped. He was looking straight into the eyes of Ollivander "Ahhh, so it is you Young Master Malfoy. Hawthorn and unicorn hair, 10 inches, reasonably springy… If I remember correct… And now you are in need of a new wand I hear… Wonder if the change in you, will give you a… shall we say different type of wand this time."



As Ollivander disappeared to get some different wands for him to try, Draco looked up at the small group standing in the door, not really sure if this was a dream, but when a voice from the box asked him to try a wand and a wand box was handed out for him to try, he smirked and took it carefully with his free hand, "12½ inches, Mahogany and Ashwinder Ash, hard and precise," Ollivander said in his kind and gentle voice. "Go on try it!"



As Draco took the wand nothing really happened, making Ollivander clap his hands and let out a, "Ha! I was right… Give it back… And try this one instead… 14 inches, Black Maple spiral and Dragon Heart string, for perfect balance and powerful spell-casting" The old wandmaker looked eagerly at Draco as the young wizard gently took the new box he was handed and removed the lid. Ollivander couldn\'t help but smile as he saw the young man\'s eyes shine at the sight of the wand.



Draco\'s eyes widened in disbelief as his eyes fastened on the most beautiful wand he had ever seen. The black wood glowed with an aura of ancient magic and promises of greatness for whoever it choose as master. Draco\'s heart beat faster and faster, praying and hoping the wand found him worthy. As his fingers closed around the slightly vibrating and highly polished staff, he shut his eyes and begged to be worthy; he had never wanted anything as bad as this wand!



The room slowly filled with a humming like electricity, flowing from every corner of the house in the direction of Draco. And when a vortex of dark green and silver flames began licking up the trembling wizard\'s body, even the Chief Warlock looked worried and whispered to Ollivander, asking if this was normal. "Shhh… The wand is not to be disturbed as it tries the boy; it is trying to see if he is worthy of the Wand of Faith!"





Draco felt the surge of the wand\'s power run its current all over his body and soul; it scared and thrilled him at the same time. He couldn\'t hear anything except the humming of the ancient magic twining around his sweating quivering body, but… was that a voice?

"Let go of your fear, child."



It was a voice, wasn\'t it? Or was he hearing things… Frowning as he tried to capture the faintest of voices once more… No… It had been a trick of his mind… or not…?



"Let your fear go… It is the one thing holding you back! Bow you pride and will to me and I\'ll be your faithful companion for the rest of your life!"



Draco searched for the source of the alluring voice of what sounded to be a woman in her prime. "Who are you?" he thought still holding back.



"I\'m everything and nothing… The first and the last… The Essence of live and the Quintessence of death… I\'m the Heart, Spirit and Life-force of all that are Magical! I am Hecate, Goddess of Sorcery!"



This made Draco frown even more… To be worthy of this wand he had to bow down to the Goddess of Magic and do her will? Teeth grinding he realized he had to reject the wand even if it chose him. "I will never let anybody, Goddess or not, control my hand or mind again! So…" he let go of the wand and at the sound of it hitting the ground Ollivander let out a cry of joy. "You did it! Young man, you did it! Sorry that I lied of the wand\'s magical core, but had I told you the wand wouldn\'t have reached at all…" with a blissful smile Ollivander made to leave.



"Master Wandmaker… Stop!" Ogden demanded with a confused look from the flabbergasted Grangers and the bewildered Young Malfoy… "Are you telling us that Young Master Malfoy, first was the true master of the Elder Wand and now, is the master of the Wand of Faith?!" Ollivander just nodded as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "A former Death Eater cub, now owns a wand with a magical core of Goddess tears!"



John, Katie and Draco looked puzzled by what that meant, but by Hermione\'s wide blazing eyes of ecstasy it had to be something special, perhaps unique. Ollivander sighed and said, "Yes, the young man now owns the Wand of Resurrection… Have a nice day!" and with that was gone. Chief Ogden had to sit down and wasn\'t able to answer Draco\'s question filled eyes, so Draco looked desperately at his girlfriend. "Please tell me you know what, whatever Ollivander just said means… For I don\'t believe it means what I first thought it meant!"





Hermione was hyperventilating so fast she was seeing black spots and wouldn\'t answer right away, but just nodded. This make Draco frown and ask if it meant she knew what it meant or if it meant he had it right. When she just nodded again, Katie grabbed her daughter\'s shoulders and told her to relax or she would pass out. And with some deep breaths Hermione regained her ability to speak and slightly dizzy with a shaking voice began. "The Wand of Faith lets it Master reclaim all spells he has cast in the past and RESURRECT people that has died because of its Master\'s mistakes!"



Slowly tears started to flow down Hermione\'s cheeks. "Oh, Draco… Do you know what that means?! You will be able to bring back Dumbledore and maybe even Lupin, Tonks, Colin and so many others that have fallen in the Battle at Hogwarts!" A grimace of pain shot across Draco\'s face as he was reminded of how many had died partly because he had let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts.



Ogden sighed and shook his head. "Oh, sweet girl… I\'m afraid you set your hopes to high… The wand is powerful indeed, but only has the power to bring back the ones its Master has actually killed or been directly guilty in their deaths. And young Master Malfoy… well, Draco… Mind if I call him that? No… Good… And Draco isn\'t to blame for all the terrible loses the Wizarding World suffered at the Battle of Hogwarts… but he will have the power to Resurrect Albus Dumbledore, if he so pleases."



Hermione\'s tears of joy shifted to tears of bitter disappointment as she realized Draco couldn\'t bring Teddy\'s parents back, or the sweet Colin Creevy. She had to have known it was too good to be true, but it still ripped open the wound of grief over the loss of her beloved Professor and friend Remus Lupin, and it didn\'t get any better as she realized she had hurt Draco by bringing it up. With a whisper of sorrow she ran from the room guilt-ridden and grief-full, wishing the earth would open up and swallow her raw.



Draco slowly bent down and picked up the elegant spiral wand. With a sigh he realized the world would demand him to bring back Dumbledore and he would be extremely unpopular when he denied. He wished he had never set eyes on this cursed wand and momentarily wondered if Ogden would accept his plea to be stripped of magic. He let out a short harsh laugh and shook his head. "Guess fate loves to see me suffer… Fortunes fool… That\'s me!" And he stood up, gave a small smile to the three worried faces and apperated downstairs to find Hermione.