Forbidden and Wrong

I awoke in Ginny’s bed. It was the last day of school, and I remember wanting to stay forever beside her. She was awake, watching me. Seeing me open my eyes, she smiled. “How are you?” she asked.

“Never been better,” I replied, stifling a yawn. I watched the late-morning sunlight streaming in from a crack in the bed hangings dance on Ginny’s bare shoulder. Memories of the previous night’s explorations slithered into my sleep-fogged mind, and a smile crawled across my face. “How did you sleep?” I asked. “You must’ve been exhausted,” I added teasingly.

“Oh, only a little,” she returned with mock coolness. She just wanted to see me pout. I didn’t take the bait, and she continued. “After all, we only went once or twice…”

“It was more than that and you know it!” I declared, pretending to be angry.

“Was it?” I hit her playfully with my pillow. She snatched it away from me. “Ha! Now you have to go without and I get two!” she declared, hiding it behind her back. I reached around her, trying to snatch it back. She laughed, and moved it from hand to hand, keeping it away from me. I laughed in spite of myself. My lips found hers and kissed her softly. I felt her relax, and snatched the pillow away when she wasn’t paying attention.

“Hey! That’s cheating!”

“Come and get it then!” I scrambled away from her, trying to find a robe or a shirt so I could exit the bed hangings without facing any awkward questions from the other fourth years. Finally I found Ginny’s bathrobe and I donned it before she could catch up with me, running out of the dorm into the showers, still carrying the ransomed pillow.
The game continued for another quarter of an hour or so before I gave up. I wanted a shower. I must admit I was disappointed when she didn’t join me, but she needed to finish packing for the train ride home. I, of course, had finished an entire day in advance, being the overachieving queen of school. “Don’t worry, I’ll see you before we even get on the train,” she assured me.

So I showered alone, thinking. I felt the water trace its way down my body, and remembered the way Ginny’s hands had done the same. I thought about home, and Ginny, and school, and Ginny, and Ron and Harry, and then I thought about Ginny some more. Would we really have to stay a secret? Yes. At least we would if we lived in the wizarding world. If we were ever to go public, very few wizards would be accepting, even Muggle-borns. Peer pressure is a powerful thing. Even I knew that I had changed since I began spending nine months per year surrounded on all sides be wizards and wizard ideals. No, only in certain parts of the Muggle world would we have a chance.

So, we had a choice. Live forever in secret or live as Muggles. Neither sounded very appealing. I felt my heart sink. Why did everything have to be so black and white? Why could the world just wake up and catch up with itself? But, I told myself, you’re not even sixteen yet. Now is not the time to be agonizing over your life’s future. Ginny was with me, we were in love, and I intended to treasure that as long as fate would permit me.

Riding home on the train was the most difficult trip I could ever remember taking. My brain was telling me a thousand contradicting things at once. I wanted to touch her but couldn’t; I wanted to cry because I was leaving her but sing because she was with me at the moment. She certainly seemed to be handling it better than I was. Ron and Harry were distracting themselves by immersing in a game of wizard chess. As I was coming out of my hundredth mental replay of the previous night, I heard Ron asking Harry about Cho Chang.

“Who’s she with now, anyway?” he asked me. Ginny answered for me.

“Michael Corner.”

“Michael- but- but weren’t you going out with him?” Ron asked her. Ginny went of on some spiel about Quidditch, and Ron, wearing a sickeningly delighted expression, said, “Well, I always thought he was a bit of an idiot. Good for you. Just choose someone… better… next time.”

No one but I saw Ginny smile at me before saying, “Well, I’ve chosen Dean Thomas, would you say he’s better?”

At the train station, I hugged Ginny fiercely as her father greeted my parents. “I’ll see you this summer, won’t I?” I asked, blinking back tears.

“Of course you will,” she replied, her shaking voice betraying her false confidence. I stared at her a moment longer, then leaned forward, giving her a light peck on the cheek. Nothing anyone would suspect as more than a platonic gesture between best friends.

“I’ll write to you the instant I get home, OK?” I said. She merely nodded, struggling with herself. A single tear traced its way down her cheek. I placed my hand on the side of her face, and wiped the tear away with my thumb. I hugged her close to me and whispered, almost inaudibly, “I love you.” Then, I turned away from her, unable to look at her for fear I would explode.

“I love you, too,” I heard her whisper from behind me. I paused, looked over my shoulder, and smiled weakly. I turned away again, said my goodbyes to everyone else, and followed my waiting parents to the car.