The Thought Of It All

Hermione tried to keep the smile on her face, it was rather difficult, because all she wanted to do was burst out crying. She was glad that Harry and Ginny were here for her, although she would've also preferred to be alone.

'Ron didn't tell me either. Apparently, he really was keeping Lavender a secret.' Harry said, looking betrayed.

Ginny glared at him and hissed out, 'shut up!'

She looked up and gave them strange glances before resuming with her dull breakfast. She hadn't seen Ron since the night before. Harry had come down this morning, said Ron was sick and Hermione couldn't help but flush.

Then on the whole way to the Great Hall, Harry had kept questioning her on what she knew.

'Oy, did you guys get together?' he asked excitedly, after seeing Hermione flush again.

'No, we didn't get together, nor will we ever. I'd rather date a ferret then that inconsiderate prat.' she spat out, and sat down at the table.

'Tell me then, what's going on?'

Ginny came in, and sat down beside Hermione. 'What is going on?'

'Ron was in 'intimate encounters' with one Lavender Brown, last night.' she mumbled.

'WHAT?' Ginny screeched out. The Great Hall fell silent and every one stared at them.

'Will you be quiet?' Hermione hissed out. Harry patted her on the shoulder but it didn't help at all. She still felt like crying and now it's even worse, because she couldn't do it without drawing attention.

'I'm sorry, but my git of a brother did that, knowing that you had feelings for him.' Hermione's face turned red and put her head in her hands.

'Look, I'll get over it. It's not a big deal.'

Harry looked at her, and he knew she was lying. This hurt her more then words could describe. The feeling that your heart was being ripped into pieces, the air leaving your lungs, the insane need to yell and sob till your voice became hoarse and ache, and that's only just the beginning.

So she sat there in the Great Hall, letting her friends curse and moan about what a big and utter scumbag Ron was. It's not like he didn't deserve it. He knew what her feelings were about him, and he didn't even have the decency- no the courage, to tell her that he wasn't interested.

Hermione thought that Ron had feelings for her, since he was so overprotective and sweet and considerate. But then they returned to school and nothing happened.

'Did you catch Ron while patrolling?' Ginny asked and bit into her toast. Her brow was furrowed and her fist clenched. And then it just felt nice that someone was outraged and angry on her behalf.

'Yeah, Monday was my day to patrol. I found them in an unused classroom, the door was slightly open. It just so happened that Malfoy witnessed the scene before me, and decided to mock me for it.' she said, glowering.

Malfoy was on the other side of the Great Hall, whispering and chatting with Pansy Parkinson. While she was depressed and felt cheated on. As if sensing someone was looking at him, he looked up at her and smirked, it wasn't at all sincere. A telling- mockery of what her life beheld, a pain in the butt ferret, who couldn't leave her alone.

She shifted her eyes away and got up. Harry and Ginny looked up from there intense conversation on how to hex Ron into the next century. Although endearing really, she just wanted time and space.

'I'm going to go for a walk. I think fresh air is something I need right now, you guys stay, really, I'll be fine,' she added when they made a move of getting up.

Exiting the Great Hall, she moved straight ahead, passed the big wooden doors to the courtyard. It was a refreshing morning, the sun was out and shining brilliantly and the wind held no real bite, just a faint breeze. She nevertheless tightened her robe around her body-to protect herself, she did not know.

They were few students out, some were studying on benches along the way, others were playing games and talking excitedly about something or another. And all she felt was desolate and disconnected from her world. The pain was overbearing, to pronounced , and she felt ridiculous for making such a big deal over a boy who most likely didn't deserve her.

She shook her head and settled on a bench- farther away from the other students not to attract attention and close enough to see anyone coming her way. But she didn't see the shadow that crept along the courtyard and towered over her.

The text books that she had taken out, lay lifeless in her hands, while she stared out into the distance, a scowl on her face. She looked up and saw Ron, then the scowl turned into a glare, then nothing at all.

'What do you want?' she hissed out.

'I wanted to say I was sorry. For you finding out the way you did.' Ron muttered, his face matching the color of his hair.

Hermione got up and moved passed Ron, he grabbed her arm and pulled her
back. She felt like shouting in joy when he kissed her. But she snapped back to reality and pushed him away.

'What is wrong with you? You can't just kiss me, you have no right whatsoever.' she glared at him but he didn't look guilty. He looked smug and every bit as handsome as she once thought he was.

'I like you, Hermione. And I know you like me too, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten so angry last night.'

'You are dating Lavender, or is she so insignificant that you happened to forget that?' she said, feeling so much angry, she wondered why she didn't already hit him and cursed him till he lay howling at her feet.

'I don't want Lavender, I want you.' he said, pulling her back to him. And Lord she wanted to go to him, and forget last night never happened. But he made the mistake, not her. He ruined what could have been, not her.

'Let me go!' she whispered, because she couldn't trust herself to speak above that.

'Please, Hermione. You know you want me too.' he leaned into kiss her, when she bolted. She ran as far as she could, not caring if people were staring at her like she was crazy or thinking herself that she was crazy. She just needed to get away from such a wonderful offer from Ron, the boy she was supposedly was in love with. The one boy who she thought would never hurt her, but it was all just a lie. Her feelings, the feelings she thought he had. It just wasn't worth it.

Maybe it never was.

~

'He kissed me!' she chanted again and again to herself while pacing her room.

Hermione was up in her dorm room, decidedly ignoring the banging on her door and the calling of her name from one Ron Weasley. She hadn't left her room since that morning, after running away.

She felt better when alone, where there wasn't anyone feeling sorry for her like Harry and Ginny were. She loved them, and respected them, but even then she didn't want to see the looks of downright pity on their faces.

Opening the door, she came face to face with Ron. His face was flushed and his green eyes penetrated her soul, it left her breathless and confused. Despite Ron hurting her, she still loved him. That was just pathetic wasn't it.

'Hermione, we have to talk.' he entered the room, pushing her aside, and sat on her bed. It felt odd and comforting, that he knew which one was her bed, and that he looked so right there, like he belonged there.

'I have nothing to say except that you stop bothering me.' she said, and he looked up from staring at his hands.

'I can't, you know how hard it was being with her when I only wanted you. I thought I could ignore it, I thought it could be easy.' he said, anguished.

Hermione looked away, entranced by the emotions in his bright eyes that held no secrets. But they did, she felt like she didn't know him anymore. When he said he was going to fly around a little, was he actually? Or when he said that he was going to take a nap, was he actually seeing Lavender?

'Ron, we can't be together. I'm sorry that you thought something could happen, but it won't, ever.' she walked to the door and held it open, and he reluctantly got to his feet and walked towards her.

Ron put his arm around her waist and pulled her forward, 'Okay, I understand, but just one kiss.' he didn't wait for a reply, swooping down he took her mouth, and fireworks exploded in the vicinity of her brain.

She pushed him away again and turned away. Lord, she was so afraid. She still loved him deeply, and his hands on her and his mouth only clouded her memory and forget what happened. It was unpredictable and she couldn't let it happen again.

'Get out! Now!' she hated him for making her feel this way, she felt vulnerable and weak and completely infatuated with a pig like himself. And she hated it.

'Hermione....' he whispered.

She whirled around and took out her wand, ' Now!' she snapped.

And then he was gone, without a backward glance. She shut the door and promised herself not to cry.

So what were the silent tears streaming down her face for?

A/N: NO OFFENCE to any of my readers, but I don't like Ron, well I like him, I think he is cute, but I hate the idea of him and Hermione with all my being. Because in my opinion he doesn't match up to her standards, not like Draco is.

So, i'm taking a tally, who ever thinks I did the right thing on letting Ron perish any and all relationship with Hermione, review my story and tell me.

And any of you think that for now Hermione should keep to herself and slowly forgive Ron, tell me now!

For I am taking your opinions into consideration, and I only let my boyfriend do that, kidding. Lol......

You need to review me, because I am telling you now, that although it seems lame now, it won't in a couple more chapters. I need you to be loyal and always review me, because every time I see a story with more then a 100 reviews, I cry, and then my bf comforts me which is good wink wink

So be there! For I deserve it. I've been a prude and havent been updating like I should but i've been making up for it with two one-shots and a mini fic.

Have fun, chapter 8 is coming to you now...

Nobody..