This is the Way I Fall

Author's note--Thank you very much for all of the wishes for my dad! His surgery went really well, and he should hopefully be out of the ICU by Sunday. It almost feels like a dream since it happened so fast.

They're *almost* through with the emotional upheaval...for now...Enjoy!

This is the Way I Fall by Graballz

Chapter 7

Being Alone…Together

Silence reigned between them all the way back to their apartment. Draco kicked his shoes off, stalked up the stairs, and went immediately to their bedroom. He ripped his clothes off and pulled his pajamas on violently, as if they had personally offended him, and slammed the bathroom door. Harry winced at the abrupt finality of the sound, sighing as he surveyed their bedroom. It was still a mess from Draco’s earlier display of temper, and Harry examined the different marks in the wall, letting out a low whistle when he got a look at the hole in the plaster. He wondered how upset another landlord would be, but since Harry owned the apartments they lived in, he knew the extenuating circumstances behind the damage.

Draco took an extra-long time in the bathroom while Harry picked up some of the scattered clothing and shoes on the floor, dropping it into one of the suitcases. He didn’t bother to fold or actually try to put anything away; Draco would prefer to do it himself. Besides, they still had to pack that morning before their flight left, so Harry merely cleared enough for a pathway from the door to the bed. He shimmied out of his jeans and pulled his shirt off, turning to frown at the still-closed door to the bathroom.

“Draco? You okay in there?” Harry said, knocking softly on the door.

“What do YOU want?” Harry flinched, hearing the acidity in Draco’s tone through the barrier.

“Just checking on you, love,” Harry replied. “I was starting to worry.”

“I’m fine; you don’t have to worry your precious little Gryffindor head about me,” Draco snarked back. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Harry heaved a sigh, moving away from the door and sitting on the edge of his side of the bed. Not a minute later, the door opened, and Harry perked up, offering Draco a small but hopeful smile. The blonde glared back sullenly, frowning, and Harry’s face fell as he went into the bathroom, closing the door softly. He used the facility, washed his hands, and brushed his teeth in record time, and he was momentarily blinded as he opened the door, shutting off the light. The bedroom was pitch dark, and Harry’s heart dropped as he crossed the room to his side of the bed.

He pulled the covers back and slid into bed, reaching automatically for Draco, only to be stopped cold by an icy hand that pushed him away. Wordlessly, Draco flipped over so that his back was to Harry, and his message was clear: he was absolutely NOT in the mood to cuddle. Harry’s heart beat faster and his pulse began to pound in his ears. In all of their time together, through all of their fights, not once had Draco refused to touch him for so long. Usually Draco made fun of Harry for being such a Hufflepuff about physical contact, even though he himself relished it as well.

“Draco?” Harry whispered, hoping that his voice hadn’t sounded as afraid, needy, and desperate as he imagined it did. There was no response from the boy on the other side of the bed, and Harry leaned towards him, trying to see if he was still asleep. That’s when he realized that the blonde had not only given him the cold shoulder, but also had moved to the very edge of the bed, leaving a large gap between them in the middle of the bed!

To the Gryffindor’s horror, he felt tears well up as his heart began to break, and he threw the covers back, running out into the living room, where he threw himself facedown onto the couch, burying his face in a pillow as he began to sob. After a couple of minutes, Harry slowly sat up, face and lungs burning with shame and the need for fresh air (respectively). He grabbed the afghan from the back of the couch and situated himself. He couldn’t stand to be in the same bed as Draco if the Slytherin was going to act like that. Harry resigned himself to spending the night on the couch, sighing miserably as several tears slipped out from under his closed eyes and tracked down his cheek in the stillness.

**********

As soon as he felt Harry shift on the bed, Draco squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring his whispered name. He really didn’t feel like talking or touching; he just wanted to be left alone. Harry suddenly sprang off the bed, though, and Draco rolled over to stare at the closed bedroom door in shock. His façade of feigned indifference crumbled, and he flopped over onto Harry’s side of the bed, grabbing Harry’s pillow and inhaling deeply. It had the comforting, fresh smell of his lover, and he began to cry into the soft fabric. Draco knew that he had hurt Harry by refusing to cuddle, and on top of his anger and depression, guilt soared above all else. Once his crying jag passed, he laid on the bed, one hand idly stroking Harry’s pillow, eyes glued to the door, waiting for Harry to return. The door remained shut.

**********

Draco opened his eyes, blinking several times to get rid of the blurriness, wondering why he felt so strange. He rolled over and looked at the clock. It was somewhere near four in the morning, and he was alone in their bed. Harry had walked out on him. Draco bit his lip, glancing one more time at Harry’s side of the bed as if he could magic his lover there, but it remained stubbornly empty. Draco shoved back the blankets and padded into the living room, stopping as he saw the dark shape on the couch.

“Harry?” He whispered.

“I’m awake,” came the flat reply. Draco stepped closer, fearful that Harry was angry at him, and though it was dark, Draco’s eyes adjusted enough so that he could see the melancholy look on Harry’s face. The Gryffindor was lying on his side, and Draco could see small rivulets leaking out of the corners of his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep…” Draco trailed off. “Have you been awake this whole time?”

Harry’s jaw clenched as he nodded and the Slytherin recognized that his boyfriend was fighting off another round of crying. He took two more steps, perching on the edge of the couch carefully, sitting near Harry’s torso.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Draco whispered, reaching his hand out towards the blanketed shoulder. A strong, calloused hand caught his pale one, pulling him down as Harry roughly jerked the blanket up. Draco smiled gratefully as he spooned against Harry, nestling his icy feet up against Harry’s warm ones. Harry’s chest had never felt so comforting against his bare back, and Draco knew he had to feel like a Popsicle to the toasty Gryffindor. That didn’t stop Harry from sliding his arm around Draco, pulling the blonde as close as he could with a small sigh of relief. Harry fluffed the blanket over his amazingly chilly boyfriend, nuzzling the back of Draco’s neck.

“I love you, Draco,” Harry replied softly, capturing Draco’s lips when the blonde turned his head.

“I love you too, Harry,” Draco breathed against Harry’s mouth as they kissed. Draco slowly warmed up, cuddling with his Gryffindor under the blanket on the couch. His hand found Harry’s under the covers, and he twined their fingers together, which was just fine with Harry.

“I didn’t mean to act like such a prat to you,” Draco said. His voice was just above a whisper. Harry, who had started to doze lightly now that things were right between them again, jerked back to wakefulness.

“Huh? Oh, no, it’s okay, baby,” he replied, yawning.

“I wasn’t mad at you,” Draco continued. “Well, not this last round, anyway. Can you believe those guys? What jerks!”

“That was kind of insensitive of them,” Harry said diplomatically. “I bet they’ll think twice now before making light of serious situations like that again.”

“Hopefully,” Draco paused. “You know, I wonder if I would’ve had such a strong reaction if we hadn’t just…fought about it. I mean, if someone brings it up, I still think about it, but I probably would’ve kept quiet, especially since you didn’t know before. Do you think I overreacted, Harry?”

Harry kissed the blonde just below the ear as he formulated his response. He was glad that Draco recognized his potential disproportionate reaction, but he didn’t want to crack the fragile peace they had found by agreeing wholeheartedly!

“I think you surprised them with the yelling,” he settled for saying, and Draco could hear the wry tone in his voice. “I’m not in a position to say how you or anyone should or shouldn’t act, though, since I’ve never gone through what you have and don’t really know how you’re feeling unless you tell me. But it definitely makes me think back to all of the different serious problems that we so casually joked about in the past…and I kind of feel bad because, like you said, there are people who have really suffered what we use as a punch line.”

“True,” Draco let his fingers brush up and down Harry’s arm. “But I don’t think I would’ve reacted SO strongly at any other time. I guess they just picked a really unfortunate time to make jokes about…THAT.”

“I’m sure it’ll blow over, baby,” Harry said. “Once everyone gets back from Spring Break, no one will even remember. And if they do, we can just apologize and tell them that we were pretty stressed before the vacation. They’ll understand that.”

“And it’s not technically a lie,” the Slytherin added. “I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of ready to move back to the bedroom. I’ve had enough of sleeping on the couch this month, waiting for you.”

“You didn’t have to, you know,” Harry left the blanket rumpled on the couch as he followed his nearly-naked boyfriend back to their room.

“I know,” Draco said, curling up with Harry on the bed, face to face. “But I didn’t want to go to bed without you.”

“Awww,” Harry replied, and Draco stuck his tongue out. Harry leaned forward and began to suck on it, which morphed into a full blown intensive snogging session. Both of their cocks began to harden as they made up. Draco opened his thighs when Harry pressed his leg in between and began to slowly grind against the black haired boy.

**********

Author's note--This was probably one of the harder chapters to write, since it entailed them essentially spending the night alone. They got back from the frat party around 1am or 2am, I'd say. Draco accidentally fell asleep while waiting for Harry to come back (but with the kind of up-and-down day he's had, can you blame him?) meanwhile Harry went out to the couch to sulk and cry since he couldn't do anything else with Draco.

A quick word of explanation before you guys crucify Draco (or me! *gulp*) for willfully hurting Harry. I see Draco as still somewhat shallow at times, and due to his upbringing, he can still be self-absorbed, selfish, and spoiled also at times. (Key word here: AT TIMES) I also see Draco as capable of being very deep and very thoughtful, but it's easier for him to be selfish than Harry, in my opinion.

I would like to point out that while he was acting a bit like a petulant brat when he refused to cuddle, as soon as Harry left the room, the guilt over acting that way overwhelmed him. I'm sorry if anyone thinks that they are being 'crybabies' and I promise that the crying will be over for a little bit.

I don't see crying as a 'weakness' (aka being less of a man), so I guess I'm capitalizing on Moaning Myrtle's description of Draco as 'sensitive' and 'not afraid to show his feelings and cry' from HBP. I hope it doesn't get to the point where you guys are like, "Jeez, enough already!" I hope that you can understand and empathize with why this particular day would make Draco cry several times, but I see him as someone who would resort to crying only after he's completely overwhelmed/overwrought. (Even though he is not above using FAKE tears to get what he wants from Harry).

(and remember that this is coming off of a month of Draco practically being ignored by Harry in favor of Harry studying...and Draco fell asleep on the couch more than once waiting for Harry to be done with the books and ready to go to bed.)

Luckily, all is not wasted, since (as you see) Harry remembered to hold his tongue and think before speaking! LOL Thanks for the reviews! The next chapter is coming soon!

Roozette *ducks re-intensified glare after this chapter* Harry hugs ARE magical, I will wholeheartedly agree with you. (But Draco has to act like a bitch at some point so that he REMEMBERS that fact instead of taking it for granted.) Thanks for the review!!! *hopes you still love me after this chapter* LOL I could totally FEEL Draco's ice-cold body as he snuggled up to Harry's warm one, though! It was almost tangible, I tell you!

jbj103 Hi and welcome! Thanks for reading AND for reviewing! *grins* I'm glad you enjoyed the Bon Jovi reference AND the previous two installments! Your compliments are making me blush! I appreciate your kind words; I just write what is playing through my head so that you guys can share the Harry/Draco goodness with me! But thank you, nonetheless!

Miss Nikki I MADE HER SPEECHLESS! WOO! *wink* (thank you for the review!)

DracaMalfoy I totally remember you saying that, but I know I've heard it before too...no idea where, but yeah...I saw Zoo's present to you! *squeal* Draco can lick MY icing any day! (yes, that is meant to be dirty and stereotypically fan-girly!) Dad's doing better now, thanks!

thrnbrooke *wink* I knew that if anyone would remember that, it would be you! YAY! Thanks!

QueenBoadicea Thank you SO MUCH for mentioning this!!! I really hoped that their relationship would be seen as 'almost perfect but not quite'! LOL Well, I take that back. I hope it is realistic; no matter how compatible we know they are, it's just as you said.

*giggles* Actually, I had that sort of conversation with my high school boyfriend when we were deciding whether to date. He asked me to Prom in January (and Prom wasn't until April), and of course, I said yet. Then I was like, "So does this make us boyfriend/girlfriend?" and he was like, "I don't know. Do you want to be?" and I was like, "I don't know. Do YOU want to be?" and he was like, "I don't know. Do YOU want to be?" and I was like, "YES" and so we dated for 9 months. LMAO

Oh, the possibilities is right! *wink* We'll get that bra on Draco yet! Thanks for your insight!

Hopefully this chapter gives a little foreshadowing as to how they're planning to handle their friends when they get back from Spring Break...you know how it is...you barely remember what happened beforehand! LOL And feel free to use that line!!! That was an original by moi!

paigeey07 *grin* Glad you liked! It takes drastic humor to break up such a heavy and dramatic moment! Thanks!