Somewhere

WARNING there is self harming in this chapter... if you don't like it don't read it!

other than that sorry for the wait but it took me ages to wright up this chapter
love is on the horizon... for both our favorite leading men, sooner for one than the other of course but one is a little slow

Harry: HA! *snort* she means you Sev
Severus: Shut it boy or i shall spank you
Harry: Go on then
Isis: Stop it both of you! You've gotta wait at least another three months so put a sock in it!
Muse: You started it!
Isis: Shut up

So on with the chapter

Oh yeah and Happy Valentines to everyone... spare a hug and a kiss for poor single little 'ol me?


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Sitting on the bed, hair wet and plastered to his back, towel wrapped around his waist, he sighed. No matter what happened Vernon was never going to leave him in peace. Getting up from the bed he walked over to his bag and rummaged around inside for a hair tie when his hand hit something cold. Pulling it out, he saw that it was the pen knife that Sirius had given him in his fourth year. Flicking it open he looked at the glittering blade and remembered something he had seen in a magazine a few years back. It had been an interview with a cutter that had wanted to dispel the attitudes towards people that did cut. Where as most believed that it was done as a way of seeking attention, he’d explained that it was in fact a physical need, something that they had to do, a release that helped them cope by making them realise that the pain was real, it gave them something to focus on. As for the attention seeking he’d said, why do most people try so hard to keep it hidden, a secret from those around them, if they wanted attention? Putting the blade to his wrist he pushed down and drew it across the skin, hard enough to hurt and draw blood but not hard enough that it did any real damage. As he watched the blade cut the fragile skin and the blood blossom to the surface he agreed with the person in the magazine. That pain gave him something other than his fear and despair to focus on, it made him realise that he was still alive. With each cut a little of the anguish faded. After the third time he stopped and finding an old shirt ripped it into strips. Going into the bathroom again he made sure that the cuts were clean, then carefully he took one of the makeshift bandages and wrapped it tightly around his wrist. Putting on a long sleeve shirt he made sure everything was hidden then hid the knife under his pillow and went downstairs.

It was when he got to the foot of the stairs that he heard the voices coming from the next room.

“I’m worried about him Albus. I know how he’s got to be feeling, yet he’s holding it all back. It’s not good for him.”

“Don’t worry my boy. He just needs time. Things will work out, they always do.”

“But what if they don’t this time,” came a quiet reply.

“They will.”

Snape was worried. About him?! At that thought there was a small flutter of, something, in his stomach. Maybe he cared for him after all, even if it was only a little bit. Waiting in the hall for a minute to see if there was anything else to be said he checked his bandage and headed into the living room. As he walked over to the vacant couch he could feel both sets of eyes burning into him the whole way. He knew he should talk to them. Dumbledore had become like a grandfather to him and Snape he trusted with every fibre of his being.

“It’s nice to see you Headmaster,” he said, albeit a little too cheerfully.

“And you Harry. How are you feeling?” he asked, the ever present twinkle in his eyes as he peered over his spectacles.

“Better, thank you.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. We were just discussing the arrangements of your training. I believe there is a stocked training area that you are planning to use?”

“Yes Sir. We’re going to start some weapons training. I’d like to turn part of the training area in the garden into an archery range as well,” he said.

“That sounds like a fine idea. I’ll be popping in at least once a week to bring you anything you’ll need, so you can show me how you’re progressing. In the mean time don’t let his grumpy demeanour get you down. He can be a foul tempered monster sometimes,” smiled the Headmaster.

Harry sat looking at him, mouth agape. Turning slowly he looked at Severus, who was glaring daggers at the older wizard.

“Ummm… I’ll try not to Sir,” he said, his mouth suddenly very dry.

With a loud chuckle Dumbledore changed the subject and started talking about muggle sweets. Soon enough though, he announced that he had to leave and after a few quick goodbyes, he apparated out of the room with a pop. After he’d left they sat in silence for a while until Harry’s stomach decided to fill the room with a loud growl. Going red he looked up to see Severus smiling at him.

“Well it appears that breakfast is in order,” he said, getting up and heading for the kitchen.

Soon enough toast, cereal, fruit and bacon sandwiches sat on the table, Harry’s stomach growling in delight as Severus finished cooking the scrambled eggs.

“I didn’t know you could cook Sir,” he said.

“It’s not that different to potion’s making really. It’s all about proportions and combining ingredients to get a desired effect.” He said, ignoring Harry’s slip back into formality, “Now I know that you might be hungry, but you need to take it easy. Your stomach will have shrunk so eating too much will only make you sick. You need to eat, but it needs to be small amounts through out the day, for the first few days at least.”

“Ok, thank you for the warning.”

They sat and ate in a comfortable silence, the only sound the quite chew of food and the chink of cutlery on plates. When they’d done Harry automatically got up to wash the plates but Severus stopped him.

“You’re not at home any more. Use magic Harry,” he said, banishing the plates to the sink where they began to wash themselves.

“Sorry, habit,” he mumbled.

“I understand. I can put some more of the salve on your back if you’d like. With regular applications it should be healed by tomorrow night.”

“Wow, that’s quick.”

“It’s very strong stuff. I often need it when… never mind. Come on and I’ll apply some more,” he said.

After another application of the salve by those wondrously cool hands, they sat in the living room, Harry doing his homework and Severus reading a new potions journal Dumbledore had brought him.

“You said your birthday was at the end of the month didn’t you?” Severus asked.

“Yeah Thursday the 31st. I’ll finally be coming of age. Why do you ask?” he said.

“That’s what I was thinking about. When people come of age in the wizarding world they experience an influx of power. Up until then it is stored and inaccessible. Everyone reacts to this release in a different way, for some it’s a very easy affair, experiencing no more than a headache for a few hours, but for others it can be excruciatingly painful, the general rule being the more powerful to begin with, the harder the change will be. I am loath to say it but with your power I think you will have a hard time,” he frowned.

“Oh. Ummm… is there anything I can do to make it easier?”

“No, not really I’m afraid. Pain potions and muscle relaxants would help but only to a certain point.”

“Looks like I’m in for the long haul then huh? Good thing my pain threshold is pretty high,” he replied with a forced grin.

“I’ll help you in every way I can but I’m afraid for the main part you will be on your own,” he said chewing on a piece of toast thoughtfully, “If you feel ready, I thought that perhaps we could start your training later. We can start with something easy, let you get adjusted and then move on from there.”

“Sure. I think I can manage it and besides, I don’t want to get flabby sitting round here doing nothing. What are we going to cover this time?”

“Well you know nearly everything I can teach you on potions that’ll be of any use. I think we’ll focus on weapons training, hand-to-hand combat and duelling to increase you strength, agility, dexterity and endurance. We might go into a bit more advanced magic and look at some wandless casting if we have the time as well. We’ll see what happens once you come of age.”

“Cool. Come on then,” he said with a grin, getting to his feet.

“Now?!” Severus asked with a hint of shock.

“Why not? I’ve done my homework and now I’m getting bored. I need to keep active, it’s just the way I am. Besides it stops me thinking about it,” he said, his voice barely a whisper by the end.

“Very well. You have to talk about it at some time though Harry. Keeping it bottled up will just make it worse. Trust me.”

“I will… just… give me some time,” he whispered.


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Ok so R+R pwease

TO MY LOVELY REVIWERS

Fallon -- no neither of them realise that they are mates... well they're not really mates.... not in the creature sense of things... soulmates yes... that's not so easy to tell though... hope that sorta clears things up

Sanji_is_weird -- thanks glad you find it interseting

off_the_deep_end -- it never ceases to amaze me when people threaten me to update... and it never ceases to amaze me how much i like those people! :D as for my skin... IT'S MINE!! and yes lucky lucky harry... bastard!