If You Would Only See

CHAPTER SEVEN: In The Shadows he Came to Me


Severus wasn’t sure what finally pushed him over the edge, but almost an hour after she walked away from his window, he cast a spell, conjuring a small orb that let him see into her bedroom. It was dark, and empty. He could see that her bathroom door was slightly open, soft flickering candlelight could be seen and slow muggle music could be heard drifting from within. With a soft pop, he left his room, and appeared in hers.

The house smelled like lavender and vanilla, a scent her recognized from her notes. He moved slowly towards the door, pushing it all the way open, making sure to stay in the shadows. She had her back to him as she reclined in an enormous claw foot Victorian bathtub. Vanilla scented candles flickered on every surface. A small stereo sat on her vanity, the soft sounds of a muggle musician’s voice filled the air. She had her hair clipped atop her head, and her body buried beneath thick mounds of lavender scented bubbles.

He was taking a big risk coming to her like this, but he couldn’t resist the temptation to see her, to be in her presence. He had been perfectly fine until she had decided to make contact, now he was desperately missing touch, and companionship. The dream had resurrected his long forgotten and neglected libido. She was dangerous, and yet he couldn’t stay away.

He approached her from behind, using one hand to cover her mouth, and the other to hold her neck so she couldn’t turn to look at him.
“Don’t scream, it’s me….Sin.” He told her, using the name she had chosen to call him. “Don’t turn around.” He ordered, sliding his hand from her mouth. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a wide, black silk scarf and tied it around her head, covering her eyes.

“How did you get in here?” She asked nervously.

“I apparated. Don’t worry, I wont hurt you.” He said, reaching for her vanity stool and pulling it close to the side of the tub.

“How did you do that? Don’t you need a vortex point?” She asked.

“I am an older wizard, my magic is strong. I simply think the location, and can be there in seconds.” He said. She heard the same hushed tone he used earlier when he spoke to her.

“Handy talent to have.” She said, wishing he would remove the blindfold and let her see him. “Why did you decide to visit me in my bath?”

“I was invited to sneak another peek, remember.” He said with a slight grin.

“Oh yes. Why won’t you let me see you? And why are you disguising your voice?” She asked.

“I dare not let anyone know who I am.” He answered.

“Do I know you? Have we met before?”

“Perhaps.” He should have denied it, but he just couldn’t bring himself to lie to her.

“I won’t pretend to understand.” She said softly. “But I wish you would trust me.”


“Maybe in time.” He said softly. “Would your lover understand you having a man you barely know in your bathroom with you?”

“My lover?”

“The blonde. The Malfoy Heir if I’m not mistaken.” Of course he knew he wasn’t, he had watched Draco with Hermione. He had listened to them speak, had cried silently when he heard what that bitch LeStrange had done to him. He hadn’t heard about the mutilation, and he wished he didn’t know now, he had failed his Godson on so many levels.

“Draco? He’s not my lover, he is my close friend, my companion of sorts.”

“I thought you were friends with Potter and Weasley, you were all over the newspapers for several years.”

“I am. Ron married Lavender Brown, and she doesn’t like me much. Harry married Ginny Weasley, and they are expecting their fourth child. They are a little busy with their families. So its just Draco and I most of the time.”

“You love him.” It was a statement, not a question.

“I do, but I am not in love with him.” She answered softly.

“He loves you.”

“Yes, he does.” If she was secure in nothing else, it was Draco’s care of her. “He was once my enemy, a Death Eater. But they turned on him when he couldn’t be what they wanted. His own father had him tortured, and his aunt mutilated him. They threw him into the streets of Knockturn Alley and left him for dead. I found him, and healed him as best I could. We have a bond that can not be broken.”

“He is lucky to have received your forgiveness.”

“He deserved it. He wasn’t evil, just desperate for his father’s love.” She sat up, and lifted her hands. “Come closer, you won’t let me see you, so let me touch your face.”

Severus hesitated, not sure if he could bear to feel her touch. Warm, damp fingers, softly scented by her lavender bath oil brushed across his forehead. She traced his brow, ruffled his thick lashes with her fingertips, her hands cupped his cheeks, her thumbs stroking the slight cleft in his chin. His lips were soft and open slightly, she gasped when his tongue licked over the pad of her finger, tasting her briefly. She could feel the slight pucker of a scar along his jaw that drifted down to his neck. She slid one hand around to the back of his neck, the other tracing slightly over his nose. She threaded her fingers through his long silky hair.

She gasped, she recognized him! She reached for the silk covering her eyes, but he grasped her wrists, stopping her.

“No.” he whispered roughly.

“Severus, please!” She pleaded, tears beginning to burn her eyes.

“What did you call me?” He asked harshly.

“I know it’s you, please….” She reached for his face again, clasping it in her hands as his grip on her wrists tightened. “Oh god….”

He captured her lips with his, his tongue forcing itself into her mouth to tease and taste her. She slid her hands into his hair, holding him tight as she kissed him back. His lips nipped and sucked at hers without mercy. There was no tenderness in the kiss, it was dominating, devouring and possessive. She moaned softly, and with a soft pop, he was gone. She was left clutching nothing but air. She clawed at the binding over her eyes, looking frantically about the room for any sign of him.

“Oh god, you are alive.” She buried her face in her hands and let the tears flow.

“Fuck!” Severus shouted as he appeared back in his own room. The little witch had recognized him by touch. What the hell had he been thinking? What the hell was he going to do now? “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He paced the room, stopping only to rub his aching thigh. He looked out the window and saw her, wrapped in a towel sitting on the edge of her bed. She had her hands over her face and he could tell by the way her shoulders were shaking that she was crying, for him.

He muttered an incantation that would carry his voice to her ears.

“Do not cry Hermione. I am so sorry I hurt you, please, respect my choice to stay alone. It really is better this way. Now dry your eyes, do not waste your tears on me.” Her head lifted and she looked across the way at his window. Something in his chest tightened, and he longed to go to her, pull her into his arms and beg her forgiveness. Maybe it would set him free. But he could not bear to taint someone so filled with the light, with his own darkness.