ENIGMA

Plot, new characters, new magical terms and abilities etc. are my intellectual property. If you want to borrow then please kindly ask. JK Rowling's characters and Wizarding Universe are all uniquely hers.

Summary: AU: What if everything we ever read in JK Rowling’s books was real – including the people characterised? What would you do if you found yourself caught up in that reality knowing what was to come? SS, RL, OC

Fantasy/Drama

This story is rated R/M.

ENIGMA

Chapter 007: Out of the Cauldron…

Snape tried not to think about that kiss in the run up to Christmas. And the more he tried not to think about it, the more his mind wandered when he was in the sanctity of his rooms. Miss Newkirk had turned his face to hers and kissed him. At first it was a simple brushing of the lips – but he then he felt something… He did feel and it was quite something to be doing so.

If only McGonagall hadn’t chosen that exact moment to come calling…

Miss Newkirk hadn’t gone out of her way such as to offer any semblance of a pretense about his presence so close to her in her quarters. The energy between them was undeniable to anyone who cared about such things; but McGonagall didn’t. The Potions Master didn’t rate in her estimation, he had always known that. And so it didn’t occur to her to think anything of the fact that he was seated closer to Miss Newkirk than was appropriate.

Perhaps he was brooding unnecessarily. After all, he had replaced Miss Newkirk’s text and note books on the table where they belonged shortly after his arrival and he was her tutor along with McGonagall. Given that she was still locked away and they had no choice but to meet in her rooms there was no need fretting over nothing.

Nothing – a gross understatement if there ever was one.

His gift to Miss Newkirk was proof of that; Harvey the Jarvey. Something else McGonagall did not seemed too fussed about.

‘What the hell was I thinking,’ he admonished himself over and over since that afternoon.

‘The same thing you are now,’ came the answer. ‘You like her; and you want her to like you even though part of you thinks you shouldn’t…’

…xxxXXXxxx…

Jessica tried not to think about Professor Snape as she made her way to the Library for work in her new job at Hogwarts. She hadn’t seen him since McGonagall had almost burst in on them that afternoon before the Holidays and had been working now two weeks. That kiss, God Almighty that kiss; the stuff that the Snape-fuelled dreams of fan girlies were made of. She knew she hadn’t imagined that Snape actually responded to her impulsiveness; no she most certainly hadn’t.

At first it was just a gentle kiss; and then – it changed. His mouth had opened hers or her mouth had opened his – whatever – their tongues had engaged. Their mouths and tongues were the only parts of their bodies touching and yet both felt…something…and fairly intensely too.

Then McGonagall had knocked at the door and their heads snapped back. There wasn’t even time for them to jump to opposite ends of the sofa before the Deputy Headmistress stepped through. McGonagall either hadn’t picked up on the sexual tension between them or she just didn’t care. It was more likely the former with a heavy dose of the latter. Snape was someone McGonagall had to tolerate and deal with because of Dumbledore and she kept the ancient rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin alive as much as any student in both Houses. But when it came to people’s private lives – it was none of her business.

The faculty and staff apparently had private lives, not the books ever provided any clue to that even though Rowling herself did in interviews. But Jessica was not privy to that – not just yet. For all she knew, Snape had a secret lover or many. He could be married with a wife and child or a few hidden away. She just didn’t know, not yet. But damn him if he wasn’t really available and had given into her kiss anyway.

Jessica had at least gathered from the “Spinner’s End” chapter in Book 6 that adults did not see him in the same way that Harry Potter did. But that was the fictional rendering of Severus Snape. She was dealing with the flesh-and-blood reality. And this Snape didn’t exactly fit the mold that Rowling wrote from the boy’s perspective.

The more time she spent with him, the more obvious it was.

‘What the hell was I thinking,’ she had admonished herself over and over since that afternoon when she kissed the fearsome Potions Master.

‘The same thing you are now,’ came the answer. ‘You like him; and you want him to like you even though part of you thinks you shouldn’t…’

…xxxXXXxxx…

“How is Miss Newkirk doing?” Dumbledore asked McGonagall in a meeting several weeks into the start of the new term that also involved Professors Snape and Lupin.

“She has done very well under our tutelage…” McGonagall answered gesturing to Snape. “As I expected she would.”

“You have had high expectations for someone not known to you, Professor.”

“Encourage nothing and that is exactly what you’ll get, Dumbledore.”

“Severus?”

“Headmaster?”

“Your assessment of Miss Newkirk if you would be so kind…”

“As with anyone – some things seemed to come to her easier than others. But she has done far better than I would have expected. I myself have challenged her as I would any other student, and she has met them all.”

Snape had never encouraged anything of any student except the odd one or two from his House on occasion. And he certainly hadn’t been encouraging with Miss Newkirk; quite the contrary.

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and then poked a silvery globe on his desk.

“It is time she started to find her way in our world,” McGonagall said breaking the silence. “The story of her life and how she has come to be here is sound and logical, I think you will agree. She has already had several encounter with Hermione Granger since starting; no problems whatsoever. If Jessica can handle her, she can handle anyone.”

Snape nodded his agreement. If there ever was someone born too smart for their own good, it was certainly that insufferable know-it-all Gryffindor. The mere sight of her bushy hair and chipmunk buck teeth made his stomach churn.

McGonagall detailed the personal history she for Jessica with a bit of input from Professor Snape. Given what was suspected to be coming, his contributions were very necessary. Jessica would be said to be a Half-blood witch who was a distant relative of the Deputy Headmistress’ on her father’s side. Given her impressive knowledge of Scots Gaelic and spot-on usage of Highlands slang complete with brogue it was more than feasible. The Nanticoke and Lenni Lenape still remaining on America’s East Coast had embraced numerous Brits, Irish and Scandinavians into their tribes and culture and in this reality that was still the case. Given the fairly exotic looks of Jessica with her dark honey-coloured skin, long dark reddish-brown hair and large chestnut brown eyes with a hint of green, one could see that history come to life.

The story would go that she was originally from America, and had been raised in a completely Muggle environment. She had spent the last few years in England, working at the British Library in London where her aunt had made her acquaintance through a relative. As McGonagall got to know her cousin and observe her at her work at the renowned and respected institution, it occurred to her that Jessica might want more of a challenge and responsibility than her role with the Library offered. With Dumbledore’s blessing after meeting with her several times, the decision was taken to offer her the role of Library Sciences Administrator at Hogwarts. In many important ways she was superceding Madam Pince, who barely managed to get books up on shelves let alone in any logical order. The Hogwarts Library was also seriously short in acquisitions, even of the Muggle kind, despite the impressive budget the Librarian had been given to work with.

“Quite ingenious,” Lupin said with a nod. “Using elements of her own background makes it far easier.”

“Well – next on the agenda is a visit to London and the Library in particular. Then she will need to visit her home town. It is important for Jessica to see what her life would have been like as a Muggle in this realm. No doubt there are differences between this world and the one from which she comes.”

“I agree, “ Dumbledore replied before popping a Sherbert Lemon into his mouth along with a bit of fuzz. “There is no time like the present. Severus, I will leave it up to you. Minerva – if you would be so kind as to accompany me to the meeting with the board of governours. Fortunately we need not consult them on this appointment being as inconsequential as it is… Remus, Severus…”

Snape seemed slightly stunned to be so abruptly dismissed and gave only a slight acknowledgement before sweeping from the room ahead of Lupin. He had been avoiding Miss Newkirk not wanting to face her until he had resolved within himself precisely what that kiss meant. It should not mean anything, he had told himself over and over; but it meant something.

Whatever it meant, he just didn’t want to be facing it and certainly not now. But he had been given a directive and he couldn’t ignore it.

…xxxXXXxxx…

Several days later on a rainy windswept Saturday, Professor Snape sought out the company of Jessica Newkirk. It would be the first time they faced each other since that fateful afternoon of impulses on both sides.

Snape found Jessica in the farthest reaches of the vast Hogwarts Library, having wrongly assumed she would take the first opportunity she had within her newfound freedom to escape out of doors. He had grossly underestimated her and once again she was proving him wrong.

She was seated at a table with her head in her hands and nearly jumped out of her skin when he touched her on the shoulder. Jessica looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and slightly red face.

“Has something happened?” Snape asked in a heated rush. “Has someone done you harm?”

His answer was a simple shake of her head as Jessica’s eyes welled up with tears. She got up and moved to the only window in the spacious room and leaned her head against it.

“Miss Newkirk?”

There was no answer, just a faint hiccup and twitch of her shoulders.

“Jessica…I can’t help you if you withhold information from me…”

Snape reigned in his impulse to flee from her emotionalism and found himself placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him.

“I’m s...s…sorry,” she hiccupped. “I’m s…s… such…a….s…s…s…stupid…ddd...idiot!”

Jesus Christ, she’d almost said ‘dunderhead’…

“You are nothing of the kind; what you are is upset and I want to know why.”

Jessica swallowed and tried to pull herself together. Instead she collapsed against Snape and cried into his robes. Snape held his arms up and looked around. Knowing full well no one would ever find them back there, he did the only thing he knew that would make a difference.

He put his arms around Jessica and held her close, telling her softly that everything would be all right.

…xxxXXXxxx…

“How am I ever going to be able to do my job without magic?” Jessica sniffed as Snape placed a hand at the back of her head and rubbed gently. Doing so brought a long-buried memory back to him. As quickly as it came, he willed it away. There was nothing to be gained in resurrecting things dead and buried. The only thing that mattered was Jessica.

“How will I ever be able to do anything in this world without magic? That horrid woman – she said the most…vile…awful…things about me. She won’t listen to a thing I say!”

Snape had seen this coming; he had warned McGonagall about Pince. The best the Deputy Headmistress could say was that the two women would just have to learn how to get on. As he held Jessica in his arms, a thought came to him. He had been thinking about Jessica and her background. Of particular interest was her bloodlines. He had done some research and had a theory of two he thought worthy of merit. The only person he wanted to speak to for the moment about them was Jessica herself.

“Come,” he said softly. “We can discuss this somewhere far less exposed.”

Jessica nodded her agreement and sniffed.

“Aren’t you worried about someone seeing us together?”

Snape looked at her and then away. Finally he met her gaze once more.

“No; and neither should you be.”

He placed a hand on her lower back and steered her out of the room and towards the Great Hall. Once there he conjured heavy cloaks and outerwear for them both and then lead her in the direction she knew without a doubt was Hogsmeade.

…xxxXXXxxx…

Snape took Jessica to the Three Broomsticks, which was heaving with trade.

“Sorry – no private salons available. They were all booked for Christmas parties…” Rosmerta explained between serving customers.

As there were no tables free, Snape was going to take Jessica to a small inn near the outskirts of town. But they kept walking past their destination and both tried not to think of what lay over the hills in the distance: the Standing Stones of Loch Looemond.

“I won’t try and stop you,” Snape said impulsively as they began their ascent of the last hill; the hill.

The wind whipped through their hair and Jessica felt a chill that had nothing to do with the cold.

“Do you hear it?” she asked as they stood at an angle to the parallel stones. “The chaos?”

Snape nodded and then looked at her. For the first time since she had met him, he looked almost…afraid. He had been here a few times and not once had he ever heard anything like it. But he was hearing it now – and there was no doubt in his mind that Jessica was the reason for that.

“Hold on to me,” she pleaded as she reached out a hand and moved slowly towards the stones.

Snape grabbed onto her hand so tight it went numb. As he watched Jessica moved in the stones.

“NO!” he shouted. “No – please!”

She seemed to fade from view as the Stones pulled her in. He could only feel her hand now. Her disappearing scared him and he grabbed her back hard lest he fall in with her, causing them both to fall to the ground. He held onto the now trembling figure in his arms. Hell, he was shaking harder than she was. After a few minutes they stood.

“I meant what I said – I…I won’t try to stop you…” he croaked.

“I don’t want to go,” Jessica said firmly.

Snape looked at her incredulously. “Your world…all that you know…”

Jessica shook her head ‘no’ and clutched his hand. Snape pulled her close and turned their backs on the stones. The noise died down and all around them it was still save for the seasonal wind chilling them to the bone along with rain turning into heavy snowfall.

“Well, that’s that. I can’t go back now,” Jessica sniffed. “I could do with a hot drink…”

“So could I,” Snape said as they began their descent and the long walk to Hogsmeade.

“I have one question, and then we will never speak of it unless you want to,” he said as he plunged their hands into a pocket of his cloak and held onto her as they moved forward against the wind.

“Sure…”

“That noise – have you any idea what it is?”

There was nothing but silence as they walked as fast as they could to get indoors as soon as possible.

“I know what it is; I’ve always known what it is…” Jessica admitted.

“What?” Snape asked hesitantly.

“The people that didn’t make it…”

…xxxXXXxxx…

They made the Wizard’s Head Inn just before sunset. Wanting maximum privacy, both agreed that what was needed was a room rather than a table in the dining room. After registering as Mr. and Mrs. Harvey they made their way quickly to their room for some much needed rest and solitude.

Snape ordered a refilling pot of Earl Grey tea and hot rolls with butter along with fried chicken and chips for each of them. For dessert there would be hot apple crumble. They had stripped down; donned bathrobes provided by the inn and hung their wet things to dry before settling down in front of the fireplace. Their presence wouldn’t be missed; as it was the weekend their presence wasn’t compulsory at meals, something that had come as a great shock to Jessica. That was as much a shock as walking into the Great Hall for the first time and taking her seat at the lower end of the staff table at the front of the room.

Jessica prepared their cups of tea and the scones once the tray appeared on a small table near the fireplace in their room. All pretenses between them were well and truly dropped as Snape placed moved the table nearer the sofa as they warmed up under several blankets.

“Having experienced it for myself, I can understand why you made no mention of it before,” Snape said, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

“Judging by your reaction I did the right thing. I know exactly what Dumbledore is thinking – whoever gets me gets to travel through the stones. Well it isn’t that simple – and you understand why now.”

“I have never seen anything like what happened to you – or heard of anything so… I just don’t have the words Jessica.”

“It broke my spirit – seeing those souls trapped in…time…”

Snape looked at her wide-eyed. “You weren’t unconscious when you came through? And you saw souls? One cannot see a soul – it is a metaphysical impossibility!”

“No; only towards the end – when I was coming out of it. I was conscious of hurling through…I don’t know…space and time?...and then being thrown out. As I came out everything went black. But I can’t explain how I knew what they were…it’s like when you Vision Quest; the spirits know you so you just have this innate understanding of…what it is surrounding you.”

“Your background,” Snape said slowly, thinking it through as they tucked into their dinner. “You are Native American and your tribe is the Nanticoke/Lenni Lenape…and the spirits – you are connected to them…”

“In a manner of speaking; it kills me the way you wizards think; like no one else in the world has magic except you. There are other kinds of magic you know, at least in my world their is. And for all the magic you have – you people seemed to be really cut off from the spirits from which it comes. You speak of souls and yet you don’t really have one; not individually and certainly not as a people.”

“Hmmph – perhaps… the spirituality that spawned our practices has long been lost except in books…most of which are hidden in the depths of the Hogwarts library awaiting your discovery.”

“For which Hermione Granger will no doubt be eternally grateful…”

“Please…the evening was going so well…”

Snape looked as painful as Jessica knew he felt. Though the most respectful by far of the trio that was Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Granger; Jessica knew that the Potions Master couldn’t stand the bushy-haired wonder any more than the other two. She couldn’t blame him really. The real Hermione Granger was just as much an insufferable know-it-all as her fictional counterpart.

“I’m sorry,” Jessica said with a faint smile. “Am I forgiven?”

“I’ll think about it,” Snape said as the corners of his mouth twitched.

They were done with their meal and leaned back on the sofa looking at and listening to the crackling of the flames warming them. Jessica yawned.

“Tired?” Snape asked looking over at her.

“Yes – a bit…”

“We could Apparate; there would only be about a mile or so to walk to get to the gates…”

“…and then about another to get to the castle…”

Both fell silent and Snape became aware of just how close they were to each other.

“Are you married?” Jessica blurted out suddenly.

“Am I what!”

“Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have any children? I don’t want to get hurt!”

“Me? What about you! I know nothing about you and yet I feel I know all ought to! It’s not right and I don’t like it, Jessica!”

“You don’t like what!”

“I don’t like not having control! I don’t like having feelings again and for someone who will never love me and will just leave me here to rot or die like…”

“Like who, Severus?” Jessica asked, even though deep down she had a suspicion, and a very strong one at that.

Snape shook his head ‘no’ and turned to the fire. He did not want her to see this, dammit! He did not want her to see just how much she made him feel. He liked her, he liked her a lot and it was almost painful knowing how unhappy she had been – until the day he came to her with her beloved Harvey. Everything changed for them both and between them that day and no thanks to him. He started to push off the blankets but Jessica place a hand on his arm.

“We can’t go through this again, Severus. We can’t avoid each other only to come together again and then go through it again and again… We are both too old for this and I think we have both probably suffered enough without bringing more on ourselves…”

Severus looked at Jessica and seeing the visible emotion on her face and the strength it was taking not to use the oldest of feminine ploys (tears) and sat down.

“Why me?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.

“Why not you? All I want is for some semblance of happiness in my life, don’t you?”

“I gave up all illusions and pretenses about such things long ago.”

“I don’t doubt it; so did I.”

Realising that if anyone needed to take a step towards openness it was her, Jessica told Severus about her marriage and the ensuing aftermath when she found herself vagrant on the streets of London. She did not speak of her life before the move to England, and he suspected that the stories she could tell were much darker indeed. By the time she was through with what little she was willing to share, he truly understood what a brave and strong woman she really was.

“I don’t know how to be anything other than I am,” Jessica said softly after he told her as much. “I never had anyone around me who could be strong for me; who could be the comfort that I could turn to. It’s always me doing the work; me sacrificing everything for people who weren’t worth it. Nothing worthwhile ever came from my sacrifices and still I kept on even when I knew it was pointless…”

“Just as you are now.”

Jessica didn’t answer. How could she possibly comment on how the man saw himself?

“Why are you staying, Jessica?”

Still more silence.

“Answer me – there is a reason you did not take the only chance you might ever have to escape. You are not entirely happy here. Why are you staying?”

“Because I’ve never run from anything in my life and I am not about to start now. This is my life now and I intend to make the most of it.”

Severus looked faintly disappointed at her answer, deeming it evasive and ill-defined. “I don’t want to say anything that will make you regret staying if…things…go pear-shaped.”

“I’ll never blame you for my unhappiness unless you give me a reason to,” Jessica replied, standing. “If the only reason I stay is you then I am doomed already. I have been down that road one too many times, Severus.”

But Severus did have a point: once again she was starting over following the vague influence of her heart. Jessica walked the few steps to the large antique bed and eased herself beneath the covers. Once settled, her bathrobe was thrown casually to the floor and she turned on her side.

Snape stood and disrobed and then crossed the room and stood before her. Jessica moved over next to the wall as he slid in next to her. She felt the warmth of his body, as thin as it was, as he pulled her into his arms. He didn’t have to ask her how she felt about him, if she really wanted a relationship of intimates. If he had needed to ask – that would have been answer enough to his question.

He realised that he had not answered her question. Secrets – so many secrets never brought to light in all these years of play-acting.

“I am not married,” he said quietly. “Nor have I a lover.”

He stoked strands of hair from one of Jessica’s cheeks and pushed back her fringe.

“Such big eyes,” he murmured. “That seem to bore right through me…”

‘How could they not,’ Jessica thought to herself, ‘Given what I actually do seem to know about you…about all of this…’

Jessica wisely opted to remain silent and let Severus speak as he chose. She had never seen him in such a relaxed and dare she say it, open, mood in all the time she had spent with him.

“I did, however, father a child…” he blurted out suddenly. “He died along with his mother, during a time of great conflict and upheaval in our world.”

He looked at her guardedly. Jessica leaned in and gently traced his mouth with a finger.

“I lost a child,” she admitted quietly. “When I was with Dave…because of him…”

The tears which had been reigned in began to fall freely.

“Did you want to even have a child with him – in spite of everything he put you through?” Severus asked as their bodies moulded to each other. They began to caress each other, not taking their eyes off each other.

“No. But I had health problems and I really believed that I couldn’t have a baby, so when I found out I was pregnant it was a shock. He couldn’t be bothered with birth control and we used to row over it endlessly. I kept on taking it even though I had really bad side effects. Then I just figured there was no point to taking it because were weren’t sleeping together much and when it happened on occasion it wasn’t…. I told you already… Anyway, the doctors all had me convinced I would never have a child.

I feel so ashamed because I just felt so… relieved… I knew sooner or later we would split and I didn’t want any ties to him. I didn’t want a child that would remind me of him for the rest of my life. Even when I was at my lowest out on the street – he did nothing to help me! I still don’t regret not carrying to term.”

“I didn’t love her,” Severus whispered. “I felt nothing for her. I had only turned to her because of…"

“Not having someone else…” Jessica offered bravely. “And she knew it, but was just determined to make you love her…”

Severus closed his eyes and nodded faintly.

“Her life would have been far different had I left well enough alone. There was someone else who loved her truly; and who truth be told needed her in a way I never did. It is not a relationship I would have ever approved of, not that it mattered. But there was someone who at least felt what I never could for her. I did not intend on siring a child with, be that as it may it happened. I am not proud of the way I treated her – but I did…”

“…love…”

Severus nodded.

“I did…love…my son – for what little time he lived…”

“So this woman – the woman who had your child – even though you didn’t love her, and she knew that you really wanted someone else; she couldn’t leave well enough alone and she made herself available…and then just ‘happened’ to fall pregnant…”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“One of the oldest tricks in the book…”

The look on Severus’ face was unmistakable. “I have never revealed that to another living soul!”

“Obliviate me if it will make you feel better.”

“No,” he whispered, turning her onto her back and then moving between her legs.

“Are you with me, only wanting to be with…her? The one you really wanted…”

“No,” Severus answered truthfully. “I have come to terms with that particular aspect of the situation…”

‘…and Harry Potter is the only remaining aspect that you are having to face isn’t it…’ Jessica thought as Severus began to kiss her.

She banished all thoughts about their revelations and focused her attention on the reality that it was the Potions Master now making love to her. It was Severus moaning that he didn’t want her to leave; that he did care for her and that he needed her trust him, to have faith in him.

It was the stuff of a fan girl’s dreams and Jessica Newkirk was savouring every second of it.