Narcissa

Disclaimer: Not mine! Not one! Zilch! Daphne Du Maurier owned the idea and Jo owns the characters.

This is for you lisa.

Chapter 6

Nothing happened for a week. Apart from the prickle at the back of my mind about Sirius Black, why was he still alive? Several people watched him die. Even Albus confirmed his death. It was Sirius. It was Sirius looks, with Sirius eyes. But, it wasn’t Sirius personality. The hardness disconcerted me. The emotionless expression held there made me shiver at night.

The plans for the ball were going on smoothly. Severus and Lucius were tucked away for the most part discussing the plans, and neither would tell me what the plans were, because I wouldn’t tell them what I was planning to go as. I thought that rather childish of them but dear reader, they did not realise that I was bluffing.

In truth I did not know what I was going to go as. I decided to raid the library for ideas, as I wasn’t that creative or original. Sometimes the thought of Severus dressing up distracted me, the images I conjured possibly proved I had more of an imagination than I gave myself credit for. The books did not prove to be very good. I could not believe that this vast library did not provide me with an idea for a costume I could be comfortable with.

I sat cross-legged on the floor; there were piles of books surrounding me. I flicked through huge volume after huge volume with Jasper curled happily on my lap. Parchment, quills and inkbottles strewn all over the place. I scribbled idea after idea and didn’t feel inspired by any of them. I was never any good at fancy dress. I was always a Witch on trick or treat, and I didn’t see the point in being anything else. I thought of being a muggle. That would be all right, dress like a modern muggle. Except that I didn’t know what modern muggles dressed like anymore. I could ask my mother, but she was never keen on fashion either. So, that idea flew out the window.

I stuck the quill in my mouth, sucking the end of it and was in deep contemplation. Hmm, this looked interesting. Jane, dress up as Jane from the Tarzan stories. No, too normal. Goodness knows how many ‘Jane’s’ there would be at the ball. I was the hostess I had to pull out all the stops, damn my insecurity! What could be so difficult about dressing up and having fun? Well, Hermione, you never were good at letting your hair down.

I stretched out my arms and was just about to pack the things up and take a walk around the grounds; my legs were killing me. My brain also started to feel muggy and dusty. The cobwebs needed clearing from my head. I put the books back on the shelf, tidied up the loose bits of parchment. And capped up the inkbottle. I then stretched and picked up Jasper, who continued to purr.

I opened the door and walked out into the now familiar hallway. I walked past Lucius study.

“I DON’T CARE, DANVERS! IF I HEAR OF HIM BEING ANYWHERE NEAR THIS PLACE AGAIN, YOU WILL BE OUT ON YOUR EAR! IF YOU WANT TO SOCIALISE WITH HIM THEN DO SO SOMEWHERE ELSE. I WILL NOT HAVE HIS PRESENCE IN THIS HOUSE AS LONG AS I AM LIVING!”

There was a period of extreme silence. I found myself transfixed to the spot.

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO TOLD ME! THE FACT IS THAT I WILL NOT HAVE THAT FELON IN THIS HOUSE! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

I heard a muffled reply, saying something like ‘Yes sir!’ and I decided to make way towards the doors for my little jaunt around the estate. I heard a pop behind me, and I felt eyes burning into my back. I turned around and Danvers stood there; her lips flat; her eyes flickered some sort of emotion that escaped me for the time being, and she nodded her head and turned on her heel back towards the kitchen. She made me feel guilty for something that I possibly didn’t do. It certainly wasn’t me that told Lucius that Sirius was here. For it was clear that was whom they were talking about.

I ventured towards Lucius study, and walked inside. His face was grey and drawn. He looked older than he had previously, his hands were shaking and he was holding a photograph. I crept up behind him and saw that he was looking at a picture of his dead wife. Coldness spread into my heart and my veins iced over. It was true… Danvers, that despicable creature, was right. Lucius still loved Narcissa. Narcissa must be laughing at me… at us!

I fled from the room. I heard him shout my name but I didn’t want to turn around to see his disgust, why did he need to look upon a hippogriff when he had a phoenix in his grasp? I heard footsteps clatter behind me. I opened my bedroom door and shut it fast. I grabbed my wand and warded it against my husband. I sank on the floor and sobbed out all the pieces of my broken heart.

“Like I said he simply can’t get over his wife’s death. Beautiful, she was, elegant, the belle of the ball, how you think you can compare is beyond me. Well go ahead marry the man but let me warn you Miss Granger – it’s not love that’s driven him to this sudden proposal.” The cruel twisted words of Mrs Van Hopper sounded over and over in my head. “Belle of the ball!” “Elegance,” and “Beautiful!” were words that could NEVER describe me. No matter how hard a person looked at me about the only nice thing people could say was that I had nice skin… and that was it. Those three adjectives screamed inside my head taunting me. Haunting me!

I heard laughter suddenly. A mocking evil laugh, a laugh so evil it made me scream! I clutched onto the bodice of my robes and ripped it apart. I could not take this sudden revelation. I was just a comfort for him. A thing for him to mate with when he felt the need to, I felt dirty and used.

“Hermione,” I heard Lucius yell from the other side. “Hermione, let me in!” He banged furiously on my door. “Hermione, please let me in!”

I ignored him and continued my wretched sob on the floor.

“Hermione, I can explain!”

I continued to ignore him. I could not bear to listen to any explanation that would involve the fact that he didn’t truly love me. Fanciful, stupid, foolish girl I’ve been for the past month. I knew it was too good to be true. He probably thought that he was in love with me, but he realised that I was nothing. How could a wallflower compare to a rosebush?

I heard another voice yell. It was Severus. I choked down my sob. I didn’t want him pounding on my bedroom door either.

“Lucius, what’s the matter?” I heard Severus ask.

“It’s Hermione,” Lucius said. “She saw me looking at a photograph of Narcissa and she just ran away from me. I don’t understand!”

“Come on, Lucius, “ Severus said. “Go down stairs. I’ll see if I can talk to her.”

Lucius left the doorway. There was a gentle rap on the door.

“Hermione, if you don’t let me in I’m afraid I’ll have to blast the door of its hinges,” he said.

I sniffed and covered myself up and lifted the charms from the door. I walked up to the door to open it up. Severus looked down at me and tilted my chin up.

“Now,” he said producing a handkerchief, “tell me what this is all about?”

“Lucius doesn’t love me!” I sobbed. “He loves her! He still yearns for her.”

Severus sighed. “And what makes you say that?”

“I just know, Severus, I am nothing compared to her! She was elegant, beautiful, the belle of the ball. What am I to that? A dull, insecure little creature that is too shy to talk to friends let alone strangers!”

“You have pointed out the very thing that is your problem, Hermione, you are insecure. Don’t let your insecurities intrude on your relationship with your husband.”

“What relationship? You didn’t see the way he looked at her photograph.”

Severus sighed and took a strand of hair in his hand. He tucked it behind my ear. “You know, if you were my wife I would have thought myself the luckiest man in the world. You have something Narcissa never had.”

“Yes?” I asked, I was desperate to hear anything positive about me, and negative about Narcissa at the moment.

“She,” Severus sighed, “she didn’t have…” he leant down and he brushed his finger across my mouth. “She didn’t have your sweetness.”

I gulped. He drew me closer to his body and I felt my trapped heart beating inside my chest. Pounding a way out of its cage. I braced myself to feel his lips on mine. But it didn’t happen.

“We mustn’t,” I whispered. “Even if Lucius doesn’t love me I can’t betray him like this.”

Severus nodded. “I haven’t forgotten that night that we spent together.”

“Neither have I,” I said. “But that was three years ago now. I have changed.”

He nodded. “Tell that to my heart,” he murmured. “Look, why don’t you talk to Lucius.”

“I’ve tried,” I said. “I tried to talk to him. Every time I bring her name up his expression clouds over, and he stiffens. It’s like he doesn’t want to talk about her, and now I know why. He loves her. Every time he looks at me he’s comparing me to her. To Narcissa!”

I was afraid of her name. It seemed that she was even more real than Lord Voldemort.

“Will you stop that,” Severus said. “I bet he’s doing no such thing.”

“I need to be on my own,” I said, slamming the door in his face.

A little later I came out of hiding and decided to take my stroll around the grounds then, I walked past the self same study that it all started at.

“Tell her, Lucius, for Merlin’s sake!” I heard Severus say.

“Tell her what? I can’t tell her,” Lucius said. “She would hate me. I don’t want her hatred.”

“You’ve got to tell her before the ball,” Severus said. “Which is only two weeks away.”

I heard Lucius sigh. “Severus,” he said. “I can’t tell her. I can’t tell her what happened six months previously.”

“She’s worried, Lucius. If you don’t tell her then I will.”

“Bloody do and I’ll kill you!” Lucius exclaimed. “Severus, I don’t want to frighten her away.”

“You looking at that photograph did that,” Severus said. “Why don’t you just rip everything of hers out of this damn place? Including that bloody elf?”

“Do you think this is easy for me, Severus?”

Severus sighed. I crept closer to the door. I heard a shuffle of some parchment.

“No, Lucius, I suppose it isn’t,” Severus sighed. “But think about what I just said. She has a right to know.”

“I will,” Lucius said. “Now, to the business at hand. We have to get the guest list sorted out.”

“I say we let Hermione take care of that, at least she’ll get SOME friendly faces that way,” my heart quickened.

“I was going to invite the Weasley’s and Potter’s anyway.”

“Yes, but she has more than those families as friends. It might make her feel less inadequate if she had something to be responsible for this ball other than choosing her gown. She isn’t stupid.”

I preened a little under his compliment.

“Oh, I suppose so. You’re right, I have to give her something more intelligent to do.” Lucius tone was resigned. The tone of a man who thought of his wife as nothing more than a nuisance, that hurt me as much. But this time I just slipped out into the grounds.

The spring was humid. The atmosphere was tense, and clothes stuck to the skin. It was cooler inside than out. My stroll around the broad sweeping lawn did not do anything that I wished it to, the cobwebs were still there – I believe they even multiplied. I could not think of what was happening inside that study. But I knew that none of it concerned me, at this moment in time.

I tried to think of personal friends I could invite to this ball but Lucius had just mentioned them all. All my other friends were either dead or mad.

^*^*^*^

The next day I was back in the library continuing my search for a suitable dress for the ball. I was deciding between two outfits when Danvers popped into the room holding a tray of coffee and biscuits.

“How is your search going, Madam?” she asked me.

I looked up shocked at the warm tone to Danvers voice. Perhaps everyone was right; perhaps she just needed time.

“Oh,” I exclaimed. “I just can’t seem to find the right one.” She walked over towards me. “It’s between these two I think?”

“Hmm,” Danvers said. “Why not go to the portrait gallery and see what there is there? There is a particular picture with a costume that I believe would suit you very well. It’s at the end of the Gallery.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Your welcome, Madam.”

As soon as she popped out of the room, I drank the coffee and nibbled on some of the biscuits. When I cleaned the plate of biscuits and drank the coffee I tidied the floor up and took some parchment and a very full quill with me.

A few minutes later I was stood in the Gallery and all the austere Malfoy’s looked down at me and some even turned their faces away. Except one! She was beautiful. A dark haired, and eyed Lady in a frilly 17th century Shepherdess’s outfit. She was smiling at me, and one of her eyes winked at me. Her dark hair was piled at the top of her head and some ringlets adorned her shoulders and neck.

“Lady Caroline Malfoy,” she greeted me with.

“Hello,” I replied. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she replied. “You are to.”

Hmm. Lady Caroline Malfoy seemed like a nice woman. I studied her a bit longer and then sat on a bench opposite the painting and began my sketch. I wrote down my measurements and smiled. I was going to look like Lady Caroline Malfoy, the most beautiful woman in the world.

Satisfied I called Danvers.

“Yes, Madam?” she queried.

“Here,” I said handing her the parchment. “Have this sent to Madam Malkin’s. Tell them to charge up the Malfoy Account.”

“Yes, Madam!” Danvers said warmly.

I smiled. Danvers apparated to the Owlery instantly. I was left with happy thoughts. I would show Lucius that I could be beautiful to.

^*^*^*^

The next week I was busy with engagements. Meeting people, writing invitations and receiving their answers, and now the Manor was taken over by decorators.

“This is all so tiring,” I said to Lucius one night.

“Yes, it is but I seem to remember it was your wish that we have this wretched ball, I would have been quite content without it.”

“But why does the Manor have to be redecorated?”

“It always was, Narcissa insisted on it. Danvers is the one you should talk to about that. Not me. I’m just organizing the food and music. Believe me that’s enough. Severus is taking care of the financial side of things. How is the guest list coming along?”

“Oh, it’s coming along fine, practically everybody has said yes.”

“Have they?” Lucius asked.

“Yes, Severus groaned when I showed him the list. I think he felt the weight of your bank account lighten at the sight of it.”

Lucius laughed. It sounded like a bark of a fox. He threw his head back and laughed.

“And now, what about this costume?”

“That is a secret,” I said.

“I hate it when you keep secrets. Being sly doesn’t suit you.”

“Oh really,” I said in a lofty tone. “I mean it, you will get the shock of your lives.”

“Who will?” Bellatrix asked, as she and Rodolphus stepped out from the fireplace. I had gotten used to their spontaneous visits by now.

“Oh, my wife has decided to turn Slytherin on me. She won’t tell me what the devil her costume is going to be for the ball.”

“Quite right, “ Bella said. “She has every right to keep that a secret. Hostess’s prerogative.”

“So,” Rudi said. “You won’t tell poor old Lucy what you’re going to look like.”

“Just because he refuses to dress up and be someone else, doesn’t mean to say the rest of us can’t have the same amount of fun,” I replied.

“Hear! Hear!” Bellatrix exclaimed. “Stay on that course, Hermione.”

I smiled. Yes, they’d all get a true shock.

^*^*^*^

The day of the ball dawned, hot, muggy and humid. The Manor was in complete chaos. Bellatrix and Rodolphus were going to stay overnight after the ball. And I was panicking, as my dress hadn’t arrived yet. Or so I thought.

I was just about to question Danvers when she apparated in my room. Before she said anything she clicked her fingers. She smiled as several boxes appeared on my bed. The hat was in one, the wig in another. The gown was beautiful and matched the one in the portrait perfectly. I took the shoes and stockings out of their packaging. It would take HOURS to make all this fit on. Hours I had. I didn’t have to make a public appearance until 4pm, to be ready in time for when the guests arrive for half four.

I checked my watch. I had four hours. It was going to be easy to fill that time up with the complications this gown was going to cause me.

“Would you like me to stay and help, Madam?” Danvers asked.

“No thank you, Danvers. And does Lucius suspect anything?”

“Not a word shall pass my lips, Madam!” Danvers said.

I soaked my body in the bath for half an hour before washing my hair and body; I came out of the bath and dried myself off. I started with the underwear and makeup. It took me a while but I eventually managed it. I then placed the hoop around my waist and stepped into the skirt after that. I placed the bodice of the dress through my arms and tightened the ribbons at the back. I found I couldn’t breathe. But, it would be worth it to see the look on Lucius face. I would show him that he doesn’t need Narcissa.

I sat down on my stool and began applying make up. That took little over half an hour in itself. And finally I put the wig on my head and pinned it securely in place. I picked up the hat and slipped the shoes on. I twirled in front of the mirror and giggled. What a shock they would ALL get.

^*^*^*^

“Where the blast is she?” Lucius asked. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

“She’s probably preparing you for the surprise of your life,” Bellatrix said with a giggle. I placed a hand in front of my mouth.

“Do you want me to find her?” Severus asked.

I noticed that there were musicians setting up just in front of me. I waved for the drummer to come to me. I whispered something in his ear. He nodded and sat at his drum kit. He did one of those grand drum rolls.

“Announcing, Lady Caroline Malfoy!” He said.

I stepped around the corner and the looks on the people’s faces present were a mixture of surprise… but not delight. Rodolphus, dressed as a muggle Cowboy, spluttered on his brandy. Bellatrix was dressed as a Gypsy and the colour drained from her face; Severus, dear sweet Severus looking absolutely ridiculous as a Pirate; looked saddened. But it was Lucius reaction that stung more than anything.

He was pale with anger. His eyes stormy with anger, the more stairs I descended the more I noticed that he was shaking from head to toe. He took the steps in two furious strides.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed with venom in his voice.

I looked up at him with confusion on my brow. “This is my costume.”

“It bloody well isn’t! Go up there and change! I don’t care any old smock would do!”

“Lucius,” Rodolphus said, “its clear that Hermione didn’t know.”

“I don’t care! Ignorance isn’t an excuse! GO!” He roared.

I didn’t dare fight him. I hitched my skirts up in my hands and ran for sheer life up the stairs in tears. The musicians gave me a look of pity.

At the far end of the corridor I could see Danvers standing in a doorway. Her eyes gleamed triumphantly and her smirk was apparent. This was some malicious plan to not only get at me, but at Lucius as well.

I made a quick dash to my room and began taking everything off with trembling fingers and tears streaming down my face. All I wanted was to look beautiful for Lucius.

Several minutes later someone burst in the room. It was Bellatrix.

“Now then,” she said, “lets see what you’ve got.”

“I’m not going,” I sniffed.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “A hostess can’t disappear from her own party.”

“Tell them I got a headache,” I said. It was a sort of truth.

“Hmm,” Bellatrix said. She rifled through my wardrobe and picked out some light blue robes. She found the matching pair of shoes and dug into my jewellery box and found some earrings to match. “Bluebell Girl!” she said.

“How can I face Lucius now? He hates me.”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” she replied shaking her head, so her earrings jangled against her necklace.

“It’s true,” I replied. “He’s never loved me! He’s in love with her!”

“No, Hermione, you don’t understand. That costume was something she wore. Narcissa wore that on her last ball last year. But he doesn’t hate you!”

“He does,” I sniffed. “We haven’t slept together for weeks.”

“He’s just stressed,” Bellatrix replied. “Listen, wash your face, get dressed and come down stairs. Show us some of that Gryffindor spirit that you had on the battlefield. Come on,” she said. Bellatrix was a little too hearty for how I was feeling.

“I can’t face him,” I replied.

“Don’t worry about Lucy, you get dressed and I’ll explain the whole thing to him, okay.”

I nodded. Bellatrix walked out of the room and I wiped my eyes from the tears that had formed there and got up.

A/N I hope that this was worth the wait! I'm sorry but I am going to have to make this story shorter as I have others to write that are much more plot consuming than this one... please review.