Who, What and Where am I?
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
17,294
Reviews:
44
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
17,294
Reviews:
44
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Unwanted, unloved and damaged
Title: Who, what and where am I?
Summary: ‘Severus sat down hard as he extracted his mind from Potter. This could not be happening. It couldn’t be true! Potter was a spoiled brat, selfish and self-centered! He was not ‘boy’. He couldn’t be!’
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! JK Rowling and her Publishers owns Harry Potter and anything associated with it.
Warning: This is NOT a happy fic. There will be references to sexual situations, chan and non-con. If this disturbs you then please do NOT read. I’ve warned you so don’t flame me about that! But, it will have a happy ending.
I also want to mention, although I put it as a warning when I first posted this fic I didn’t tell you in the first chapter. There will be incest, non-con incest but incest all the same.
Thanks for all the reviews guys! They keep me going.
Hope you enjoy the fic and if you have any suggestions please put them in a review and I will have a look at them.
Chapter 7
Unwanted, unloved and damaged
He was unwanted, unloved and damaged
Severus had been in a bit of a mood since Malfoy had opened his mouth. Well, if he was honest with himself he’d been angry at himself since he had opened his big mouth.
Now though, now he felt fear grip his heart. He had had cases of abuse and rape before. Not only in his house but some Huffelpuffs as well. He always tried to help to the best of his abilities and sometimes he succeeded others he didn’t.
This was different. This was worse. So much worse.
The thoughts he could pick up from Potter was driving a wedge into his heart. It had been his father whom had done that to the boy. His father whom had violated the boy in such a way.
How could he try to help the boy if all he did was remind the boy of what he had went through at the hand of his father?
But he had to do something. He had to do something because the direction the boy’s thoughts were going was getting more erratic and damaging by the minute.
He knew that acknowledgement of the need for help was the first step to healing but he also knew fare well that Potter was far too stubborn to acknowledge any weakness to another person, much less to such a degree.
I have to get out of here. Have to leave. No-one cares, no-one will notice, I’ll just slip away and go somewhere – anywhere.
Severus had never in his life been gladder about his natural Ligilimence ability than he was at the moment.
Stepping out from behind the statue he had been,… not hiding behind - Severus never hid – he straightened up to his full height and stopped Potter in his tracks.
“Follow me Potter.” He turned around and made his way to his office knowing that Potter would follow him rather than risk facing his wrath.
*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Harry followed his Professor to his office. He didn’t know what Snape wanted but he hoped that the man would make it quick and get it over with as he just wanted to be left alone.
Alone. Did he really want to be alone? He didn’t think so but as it was all he was used to, he knew he could handle it.
“Sit Potter, you won’t get any taller.” The voice was so different than what Harry was used to that he just stood and stared for about a minute before the words registered in his brain and he sat down.
Snape sounded so sad, for lack of a better word. He also looked so tired that Harry couldn’t help but feel bad for keeping the Professor from his sleep.
“I’m going to say this once and only once.” Snape waited until Harry looked up before he continued.
“You’ll come here to my office every day of the week for the rest of the year. Weekends you can have to yourself but at 7 o’clock every evening during the week, you will come down here and we’re going to talk. What you went through a few years ago will stay with you for the rest of your life. You will remember it until the day you die, I won’t lie to you. You will have nightmares, you will feel dirty, unwanted and unloved for months still, and maybe even years, but we will talk about it. We will work through your nightmares and fears and you will realize one day that what happened to you did not cause you to become dirty or damaged.”
Snape broke off there and Harry realized that he had been holding his breath for a while and let it out slowly. He didn’t know what Snape was getting at, what he was trying to do, it almost sounded as if his Professor was trying to help him. Maybe Snape had hit his head??
“You will do most of the talking when you come down in the evenings. I won’t have you sitting here still as a statue and wallowing in self-pity. You will talk about what bothers you, what you fear and even what makes you laugh.”
Harry looked up at the man as he once again stopped speaking. Snape looked and sounded dead serious.
“I, er, I don’t understand sir. What will that do? Why are you asking this of me? You know what happened. You saw it! Why would you want me to relive it day after day if you know what happened and what it did to me?” Harry had started out strong and confident but at the end his voice was barely above a whisper.
*-----------------------------------*
Severus suppressed a sigh. The boy was being deliberately difficult.
“I had thought that maybe I was mistaken about what a dunderhead you are Potter, but I believe I was right in my first assessment. You’re being particularly difficult today. What I’m trying to do is help you Potter! But it looks like I’m wasting my time. I believe I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that you will always remember what had happened. That you will always feel inferior to others because you believe yourself unwanted and damaged. You need to talk about it Potter or it’s going to ruin your life. Not only yours but those of your friends as well. They care for you Potter and if something was to happen to you they will be devastated. Do you want them to suffer because of you?” Severus inwardly winced at the last sentence. That was going to sting but he had to get it through the boy’s thick head that he wasn’t alone in this and that suffering alone would only worsen the matter.
“You do remember that it had been MY father whom had done that to you, do you not? I know what I’m talking about Potter and the only way you will feel better about yourself is if you talk about it.”
He could see that the reference to his father and the reminded that it had been his father whom had violated the boy was finally getting through the boy’s thick skull.
“Er, yeah, I’m sorry sir. You probably know better than anyone what I went through, both with your father and at the Dursley’s. I’ll come down here every evening if that is what you think is best.”
Severus wondered if Albus would notice if he killed the boy. Yes, he would. He’d probably know that Severus was thinking about it and be there before he could go through with the act.
“It is not about what I think is best Potter! I won’t force you into ANYTHING! If after a week you don’t want to continue then we will stop. You can go on your merry little way and get out of my life but if you realize that talking actually helps then you will continue to come down here for the rest of the year. Is that acceptable to you.” Why am I even arguing the point? The boy would make up his own mind and do as he pleases no matter what I say!
Potter looked at him for a while before slowly nodding his head.
“Okay. So, er, I’ll see you tomorrow night? Seven o’clock?”
“Do NOT be late Potter.”
The door closed behind the boy and Severus wearily sat himself down. This was going to be a long year.
End Chapter 7
Okay, we’re making progress. Is Severus still ‘in character’? I’m trying to keep him that way so if he’s getting too ‘mushy’ or ‘not snarky enough’ let me know please!
What did you think?
Review please!!!
Summary: ‘Severus sat down hard as he extracted his mind from Potter. This could not be happening. It couldn’t be true! Potter was a spoiled brat, selfish and self-centered! He was not ‘boy’. He couldn’t be!’
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! JK Rowling and her Publishers owns Harry Potter and anything associated with it.
Warning: This is NOT a happy fic. There will be references to sexual situations, chan and non-con. If this disturbs you then please do NOT read. I’ve warned you so don’t flame me about that! But, it will have a happy ending.
I also want to mention, although I put it as a warning when I first posted this fic I didn’t tell you in the first chapter. There will be incest, non-con incest but incest all the same.
Thanks for all the reviews guys! They keep me going.
Hope you enjoy the fic and if you have any suggestions please put them in a review and I will have a look at them.
Chapter 7
Unwanted, unloved and damaged
He was unwanted, unloved and damaged
Severus had been in a bit of a mood since Malfoy had opened his mouth. Well, if he was honest with himself he’d been angry at himself since he had opened his big mouth.
Now though, now he felt fear grip his heart. He had had cases of abuse and rape before. Not only in his house but some Huffelpuffs as well. He always tried to help to the best of his abilities and sometimes he succeeded others he didn’t.
This was different. This was worse. So much worse.
The thoughts he could pick up from Potter was driving a wedge into his heart. It had been his father whom had done that to the boy. His father whom had violated the boy in such a way.
How could he try to help the boy if all he did was remind the boy of what he had went through at the hand of his father?
But he had to do something. He had to do something because the direction the boy’s thoughts were going was getting more erratic and damaging by the minute.
He knew that acknowledgement of the need for help was the first step to healing but he also knew fare well that Potter was far too stubborn to acknowledge any weakness to another person, much less to such a degree.
I have to get out of here. Have to leave. No-one cares, no-one will notice, I’ll just slip away and go somewhere – anywhere.
Severus had never in his life been gladder about his natural Ligilimence ability than he was at the moment.
Stepping out from behind the statue he had been,… not hiding behind - Severus never hid – he straightened up to his full height and stopped Potter in his tracks.
“Follow me Potter.” He turned around and made his way to his office knowing that Potter would follow him rather than risk facing his wrath.
*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Harry followed his Professor to his office. He didn’t know what Snape wanted but he hoped that the man would make it quick and get it over with as he just wanted to be left alone.
Alone. Did he really want to be alone? He didn’t think so but as it was all he was used to, he knew he could handle it.
“Sit Potter, you won’t get any taller.” The voice was so different than what Harry was used to that he just stood and stared for about a minute before the words registered in his brain and he sat down.
Snape sounded so sad, for lack of a better word. He also looked so tired that Harry couldn’t help but feel bad for keeping the Professor from his sleep.
“I’m going to say this once and only once.” Snape waited until Harry looked up before he continued.
“You’ll come here to my office every day of the week for the rest of the year. Weekends you can have to yourself but at 7 o’clock every evening during the week, you will come down here and we’re going to talk. What you went through a few years ago will stay with you for the rest of your life. You will remember it until the day you die, I won’t lie to you. You will have nightmares, you will feel dirty, unwanted and unloved for months still, and maybe even years, but we will talk about it. We will work through your nightmares and fears and you will realize one day that what happened to you did not cause you to become dirty or damaged.”
Snape broke off there and Harry realized that he had been holding his breath for a while and let it out slowly. He didn’t know what Snape was getting at, what he was trying to do, it almost sounded as if his Professor was trying to help him. Maybe Snape had hit his head??
“You will do most of the talking when you come down in the evenings. I won’t have you sitting here still as a statue and wallowing in self-pity. You will talk about what bothers you, what you fear and even what makes you laugh.”
Harry looked up at the man as he once again stopped speaking. Snape looked and sounded dead serious.
“I, er, I don’t understand sir. What will that do? Why are you asking this of me? You know what happened. You saw it! Why would you want me to relive it day after day if you know what happened and what it did to me?” Harry had started out strong and confident but at the end his voice was barely above a whisper.
*-----------------------------------*
Severus suppressed a sigh. The boy was being deliberately difficult.
“I had thought that maybe I was mistaken about what a dunderhead you are Potter, but I believe I was right in my first assessment. You’re being particularly difficult today. What I’m trying to do is help you Potter! But it looks like I’m wasting my time. I believe I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that you will always remember what had happened. That you will always feel inferior to others because you believe yourself unwanted and damaged. You need to talk about it Potter or it’s going to ruin your life. Not only yours but those of your friends as well. They care for you Potter and if something was to happen to you they will be devastated. Do you want them to suffer because of you?” Severus inwardly winced at the last sentence. That was going to sting but he had to get it through the boy’s thick head that he wasn’t alone in this and that suffering alone would only worsen the matter.
“You do remember that it had been MY father whom had done that to you, do you not? I know what I’m talking about Potter and the only way you will feel better about yourself is if you talk about it.”
He could see that the reference to his father and the reminded that it had been his father whom had violated the boy was finally getting through the boy’s thick skull.
“Er, yeah, I’m sorry sir. You probably know better than anyone what I went through, both with your father and at the Dursley’s. I’ll come down here every evening if that is what you think is best.”
Severus wondered if Albus would notice if he killed the boy. Yes, he would. He’d probably know that Severus was thinking about it and be there before he could go through with the act.
“It is not about what I think is best Potter! I won’t force you into ANYTHING! If after a week you don’t want to continue then we will stop. You can go on your merry little way and get out of my life but if you realize that talking actually helps then you will continue to come down here for the rest of the year. Is that acceptable to you.” Why am I even arguing the point? The boy would make up his own mind and do as he pleases no matter what I say!
Potter looked at him for a while before slowly nodding his head.
“Okay. So, er, I’ll see you tomorrow night? Seven o’clock?”
“Do NOT be late Potter.”
The door closed behind the boy and Severus wearily sat himself down. This was going to be a long year.
End Chapter 7
Okay, we’re making progress. Is Severus still ‘in character’? I’m trying to keep him that way so if he’s getting too ‘mushy’ or ‘not snarky enough’ let me know please!
What did you think?
Review please!!!