Playing the Game
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
9,791
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57
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Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
9,791
Reviews:
57
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Is This Goodbye?
Disclaimer: All hail JK Rowling who owns these characters. I have just borrowed them for some fun.
****
Chapter 7. Is This Goodbye?
Where was he? Hermione was sure that she had heard his voice, but only Poppy came into the room.
“Poppy?”
“You’ve given us all quite a shock, young lady!” Poppy declared. “Do remember to reinforce the wards on the Quidditch stand next time. Several of us have aged at least a decade and it took Mr Filch half a day to remove the bloodstains.”
“Was anyone else hurt?” Hermione’s voice was weak.
“No dear, just you. How are you feeling?”
“I’m…I think I’m OK.” Hermione’s glance flickered towards the door but she was too afraid to ask the question in her head in case the answer wasn’t the one she wanted.
Poppy’s hand was cool against Hermione’s flushed cheek as the young woman subsided again, this time into normal sleep.
****
Hermione was released from the Hospital Wing the next day. All the staff had dropped in to see her now she was awake, all except one. She hadn’t asked after him, and no-one had mentioned him. She had to assume that he genuinely didn’t care.
When she had seen him in the Quidditch stand, her heart had leapt. His awful words still burned in her brain but he had been talking to Harry when he said those things after all, what if he had been lying?
But he didn’t come. She needed him and he didn’t come.
Hermione decided that she was just going to have to face facts. Her throat ached at the thought, but there it was.
They were still colleagues for a few more weeks at least, perhaps the kindest thing for both of them would be for her to let him know that it was alright and that she didn’t harbour any ill will. That way they wouldn’t have to avoid each other, they could return to normal and no-one would have to know she was dying inside.
She would do it as soon as she felt strong enough.
***
Finally the June exams were over. Severus carefully placed his quill in the inkwell and sat back in his chair. The students were leaving today, and all he could think about was the 20 year old fire-whisky sitting in the storeroom. Gods, he needed a drink.
He was aware that he needed some air too. Severus had literally locked himself in his own dungeon for the past six weeks. He explained to Minerva that he was working on some delicate potions research which couldn’t be left unattended. She bought his story easily enough – it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before, and it meant that he remained undisturbed except for classes and, finally, the examinations.
The last thing he wanted was to see her. If he did, he knew he was going to make a fool of himself, and Severus Snape was nobody’s fool. She was alive and well, and that would have to be enough for him. After all, he had killed any feelings she might have had, so he had to accept that and move on.
Besides, she’ll be leaving on the Hogwarts Express with the others. Her year is up. Vector will come back and my life will return to normal.
What a pleasant thought.
Where was that Fire-Whisky? He waved his wand without getting up.
“Accio Fire-Whisky.”
Within seconds, the door to his storeroom had slammed open and the bottle of liquor flew into his hand. He grimaced as he saw the level in the bottle. He must remember to order a crate next time.
Severus had barely poured a glass when there was a knock at his office door.
Blast it!
“Come in, and make it quick!” he growled at the intruder.
The door opened to reveal Hermione with her traveling cloak wrapped about her shoulders. She moved into the room and allowed the door to close quietly behind her.
Oh Gods, please tell me she hasn’t come to say goodbye!
“Severus.”
“Hermione.”
Neither of them moved. She is so beautiful. The precious sight of her cut him like a knife. He retreated into silent anger. Then finally she spoke.
“I’m going on the train today. I wanted to see you before I left.” Her face was slightly pale, but he ignored it.
“So, you’ve had your fun at my expense and now you’re off,” he raised his glass in mock salute, “My congratulations.”
“Fun at your expense? Do you think this has been fun for me?”
“Why not? You’ve had Potter and Lupin dangling after you all year. You managed to bed your old Potion’s Master – you must tell me who put you up to it, by the way.” He sneered as he got to his feet, moving to stand in front of the desk and leaning against it in an attempt to appear unmoved, “No, actually, let me guess: you had a bet with Miss Weasley? No, that’s not right, she helped you, didn’t she? Must have been Potter then. No? Ron Weasley?”
“How dare you!” Hermione hissed. “I was always completely open about my feelings for you. How dare you cheapen—”
“Ah yes, your feelings. How could I forget?” he interrupted, “Well, that would certainly explain why you gave up so easily.” He turned away to pour himself another drink.
Hermione bit hard on her lower lip to stop it from trembling, she looked at her shoes, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
“What choice did I have? You made your decision. I can’t force you to love me.”
“You didn’t have to give up on me.” Gods, did I say that aloud?
“What?” Her head snapped up at his words.
“You should go. You’ll miss your train.” Severus did not turn to face her. He couldn’t bear to watch her walk out the door.
“Oh, no you don’t. I heard what you said.” She was at his side in an instant, turning him to face her. Her eyes searched his face, looking for something he desperately hoped he was concealing.
“I fell for it, didn’t I? Your famous bad temper got the better of you, and I believed it.”
He didn’t answer.
“You are so stubborn! Why is it so impossible to believe that I love you?” She looked at him intently, “Of course, I’m not sure why I love you, after all you must be the most difficult, complicated, prickly, hard-headed—”
“Hermione—”
“— short-tempered, irritating, passionate—” she was pacing now.
“—that’s enough!” Gods, Hermione had read the dictionary in its entirety. This could last all day!
“—brilliant, intelligent, sharp-witted, talented—”
“Hermione!” he tried again.
“—intense, honourable, sensual—”
Brilliant? Talented? Honourable? Did she really see him this way? Coming from the smartest Gryffindor of their time, this was high praise indeed. He tried to squash the hope blooming suddenly and painfully in his chest.
Severus must have revealed something of his thoughts in his face, because Hermione broke off suddenly and came to stand before him again.
“Maybe I am asking too much.” She took a deep breath. “If you can’t tell me how you feel yet, I can accept that. But…do I have any reason to hope?”
He swallowed. “If I say no?”
“Then I am going to walk out that door and do what you told Harry you wanted – I’ll leave you alone.”
“And if I say yes?” He was having trouble concentrating with the scent of violets filling his nose. Suddenly saying yes didn’t seem such an impossibility.
“Then, I am going to kiss you until you can’t breathe, and after that I’ll have Hagrid move my trunk into your chambers.”
He wasn’t sure why he hesitated but he had spent years maintaining emotional distance from everyone. It was a difficult habit to break, but perhaps today was a good day to change.
“Well, all right then, since you put it like that—” he mock grumbled, “Perhaps you shouldn’t give up hope…yet.”
Hermione laughed then, a pure joyous sound that rang through him, lifting his heart out of the dark pit it had dwelled in since he had first thought he’d lost her.
“There, that wasn’t so difficult was it?
“Horribly!” he grouched. “Now, where is my kiss?”
****
Chapter 7. Is This Goodbye?
Where was he? Hermione was sure that she had heard his voice, but only Poppy came into the room.
“Poppy?”
“You’ve given us all quite a shock, young lady!” Poppy declared. “Do remember to reinforce the wards on the Quidditch stand next time. Several of us have aged at least a decade and it took Mr Filch half a day to remove the bloodstains.”
“Was anyone else hurt?” Hermione’s voice was weak.
“No dear, just you. How are you feeling?”
“I’m…I think I’m OK.” Hermione’s glance flickered towards the door but she was too afraid to ask the question in her head in case the answer wasn’t the one she wanted.
Poppy’s hand was cool against Hermione’s flushed cheek as the young woman subsided again, this time into normal sleep.
****
Hermione was released from the Hospital Wing the next day. All the staff had dropped in to see her now she was awake, all except one. She hadn’t asked after him, and no-one had mentioned him. She had to assume that he genuinely didn’t care.
When she had seen him in the Quidditch stand, her heart had leapt. His awful words still burned in her brain but he had been talking to Harry when he said those things after all, what if he had been lying?
But he didn’t come. She needed him and he didn’t come.
Hermione decided that she was just going to have to face facts. Her throat ached at the thought, but there it was.
They were still colleagues for a few more weeks at least, perhaps the kindest thing for both of them would be for her to let him know that it was alright and that she didn’t harbour any ill will. That way they wouldn’t have to avoid each other, they could return to normal and no-one would have to know she was dying inside.
She would do it as soon as she felt strong enough.
***
Finally the June exams were over. Severus carefully placed his quill in the inkwell and sat back in his chair. The students were leaving today, and all he could think about was the 20 year old fire-whisky sitting in the storeroom. Gods, he needed a drink.
He was aware that he needed some air too. Severus had literally locked himself in his own dungeon for the past six weeks. He explained to Minerva that he was working on some delicate potions research which couldn’t be left unattended. She bought his story easily enough – it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before, and it meant that he remained undisturbed except for classes and, finally, the examinations.
The last thing he wanted was to see her. If he did, he knew he was going to make a fool of himself, and Severus Snape was nobody’s fool. She was alive and well, and that would have to be enough for him. After all, he had killed any feelings she might have had, so he had to accept that and move on.
Besides, she’ll be leaving on the Hogwarts Express with the others. Her year is up. Vector will come back and my life will return to normal.
What a pleasant thought.
Where was that Fire-Whisky? He waved his wand without getting up.
“Accio Fire-Whisky.”
Within seconds, the door to his storeroom had slammed open and the bottle of liquor flew into his hand. He grimaced as he saw the level in the bottle. He must remember to order a crate next time.
Severus had barely poured a glass when there was a knock at his office door.
Blast it!
“Come in, and make it quick!” he growled at the intruder.
The door opened to reveal Hermione with her traveling cloak wrapped about her shoulders. She moved into the room and allowed the door to close quietly behind her.
Oh Gods, please tell me she hasn’t come to say goodbye!
“Severus.”
“Hermione.”
Neither of them moved. She is so beautiful. The precious sight of her cut him like a knife. He retreated into silent anger. Then finally she spoke.
“I’m going on the train today. I wanted to see you before I left.” Her face was slightly pale, but he ignored it.
“So, you’ve had your fun at my expense and now you’re off,” he raised his glass in mock salute, “My congratulations.”
“Fun at your expense? Do you think this has been fun for me?”
“Why not? You’ve had Potter and Lupin dangling after you all year. You managed to bed your old Potion’s Master – you must tell me who put you up to it, by the way.” He sneered as he got to his feet, moving to stand in front of the desk and leaning against it in an attempt to appear unmoved, “No, actually, let me guess: you had a bet with Miss Weasley? No, that’s not right, she helped you, didn’t she? Must have been Potter then. No? Ron Weasley?”
“How dare you!” Hermione hissed. “I was always completely open about my feelings for you. How dare you cheapen—”
“Ah yes, your feelings. How could I forget?” he interrupted, “Well, that would certainly explain why you gave up so easily.” He turned away to pour himself another drink.
Hermione bit hard on her lower lip to stop it from trembling, she looked at her shoes, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
“What choice did I have? You made your decision. I can’t force you to love me.”
“You didn’t have to give up on me.” Gods, did I say that aloud?
“What?” Her head snapped up at his words.
“You should go. You’ll miss your train.” Severus did not turn to face her. He couldn’t bear to watch her walk out the door.
“Oh, no you don’t. I heard what you said.” She was at his side in an instant, turning him to face her. Her eyes searched his face, looking for something he desperately hoped he was concealing.
“I fell for it, didn’t I? Your famous bad temper got the better of you, and I believed it.”
He didn’t answer.
“You are so stubborn! Why is it so impossible to believe that I love you?” She looked at him intently, “Of course, I’m not sure why I love you, after all you must be the most difficult, complicated, prickly, hard-headed—”
“Hermione—”
“— short-tempered, irritating, passionate—” she was pacing now.
“—that’s enough!” Gods, Hermione had read the dictionary in its entirety. This could last all day!
“—brilliant, intelligent, sharp-witted, talented—”
“Hermione!” he tried again.
“—intense, honourable, sensual—”
Brilliant? Talented? Honourable? Did she really see him this way? Coming from the smartest Gryffindor of their time, this was high praise indeed. He tried to squash the hope blooming suddenly and painfully in his chest.
Severus must have revealed something of his thoughts in his face, because Hermione broke off suddenly and came to stand before him again.
“Maybe I am asking too much.” She took a deep breath. “If you can’t tell me how you feel yet, I can accept that. But…do I have any reason to hope?”
He swallowed. “If I say no?”
“Then I am going to walk out that door and do what you told Harry you wanted – I’ll leave you alone.”
“And if I say yes?” He was having trouble concentrating with the scent of violets filling his nose. Suddenly saying yes didn’t seem such an impossibility.
“Then, I am going to kiss you until you can’t breathe, and after that I’ll have Hagrid move my trunk into your chambers.”
He wasn’t sure why he hesitated but he had spent years maintaining emotional distance from everyone. It was a difficult habit to break, but perhaps today was a good day to change.
“Well, all right then, since you put it like that—” he mock grumbled, “Perhaps you shouldn’t give up hope…yet.”
Hermione laughed then, a pure joyous sound that rang through him, lifting his heart out of the dark pit it had dwelled in since he had first thought he’d lost her.
“There, that wasn’t so difficult was it?
“Horribly!” he grouched. “Now, where is my kiss?”