#6 ~ A Matter of Matrimony

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR (except Marcus Delaluci). All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
*******************************

Chapter 7 ~ Lunch in the Great Hall

Marcus sat at the High Table in front of a large steaming plate of Rocky Mountain Oysters, shaking his head and grinning, as the other staff members looked curiously at the deep fried testicles, having no idea what they were. To fight his boredom, Marcus had taken to trying to baffle the house-elves by placing orders for uncommon foods at least once a day. To date, the elves were one step ahead of him, providing whatever he asked for, in large amounts. And of course, he had to eat it. The items he had tried so far this week were octopus, kangaroo sashimi, dancing shrimp, and today, bull testicles.

He thought he had them with the shrimp, but the house-elves proved to be more up on oriental cuisine than they were given credit for. A large glass bowl appeared in front of him, covered, the large shrimp still kicking and struggling in the scalding clear broth, a small bowl of red pepper paste on the side. He had eaten them, spearing the moving creatures with his fork, dipping them in the pepper paste and biting through them, and spitting out the shells. They were really quite good and eating them appealed to his feral nature. Unfortunately, the delicacy didn’t appeal to everyone else’s natures, and green, ill faces lined the staff table, with the exception of Dumbledore. The Headmaster came over and ate one himself, picking the delicate shells out of his beard.

“Delicious!” he exclaimed, smiling over his glasses at the other staff, most of whom excused themselves immediately.

Now Marcus had another dubious delicacy to consume. He picked up a bottle of hot sauce, thoughtfully provided by the elves, and shook it liberally over his meal. Just as he was about to take his first bite, Snape walked in, scowling and took his seat at the table. He was alone. Strange. Marcus was sure Hermione said she was meeting him for lunch. The wizard thrust an oyster into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully, studying the Potions Master with an experienced eye. Something was wrong.

First off, he didn’t do his trademark glare upon entering the Great Hall. Snape always glared at the student tables, not eating until he had made several blanch. Secondly, he didn’t give his normal reluctant nod to his fellow staff members. In fact, he didn’t look at anyone or anything, simply ordered his meal and began to eat, focusing on the food in front of him. Snape and Marcus were a lot alike in one way; they generally always paid attention to what was going on around them, probably because of the dangerous lifestyles they lived. Being caught off guard could be deadly. Marcus was less noticeable with his survey of what was around him, being trained not to draw attention to himself. But Snape’s darting looks were obvious. He let people know he was watching, which added to their mutual discomfort.

Marcus slid his eyes toward Dumbledore. He had learned within a few days of arriving at Hogwarts that if anything were going on, it would be reflected in the Headmaster’s face. Sometimes Marcus suspected the old wizard had the entire castle wired. He seemed to know everything that occurred. This was a cause of concern for the DA teacher. He had things in mind for Hermione that he didn’t want anyone to know of. He would probably have to get her off grounds.

Dumbledore was eyeing Snape with a grim look. He seemed displeased with the man. Suddenly, the Headmaster’s eyes shifted to Marcus, with that same grim gaze. Marcus met his look evenly, not turning away. After a tense moment or two, Dumbledore returned to his meal. Marcus knew he was in the Headmaster’s sights, and would probably be summoned in “a word” as Dumbledore liked to describe his one-on-one meetings. Well, if it was about Hermione and Snape, Marcus had a few choice words for the Headmaster as well. It wasn’t as if the dour wizard was married to the young witch, years together meant nothing if she were willing to take a walk on the wild side with him. She was too sequestered, too enmeshed in her work and her lover to have a life of her own. Not that Marcus cared particularly…she could waste away in the dungeons if she wanted to. But getting her out and about was important to his own plan of conquest. She needed to feel free to pursue other things. Other pleasures. Even other pains. Marcus’ couldn’t help the little throb he experienced when he thought of witnessing her brutal ravishing at the hands of her Potions Master, and the look on her face afterwards. She was a twisted little lioness. Lioness? Now where did that name come from?

Marcus’ thoughts were interrupted when Professor Flitwick suddenly popped up at his side, his eyes focused on the pile of fried food in front of him.

“My, my, Professor Delaluci, that looks delicious. What is it?” he asked, his little mouth pursed beneath his great mustache.

Marcus smiled down at the little wizard. “Rocky Mountain Oysters,” he replied.

“Oysters? I love Oysters! Where did you say they were from?” the Professor asked, interested.

“The Rocky Mountains,” Marcus replied, mischief whirling in his violet eyes as he pushed the plate towards the Charms Master.

“Have one?” he asked, offering the wizard his fork. Flitwick took it.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he piped as he speared a particularly large testicle, “I’ve never had oysters from that region.”

He popped the testicle into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. After a couple of moments, he swallowed.

“Interesting flavor and texture,” he commented. “Very meaty.”

Marcus grinned widely.

Suddenly Severus leaned forward and addressed Professor Flitwick.

“Professor, I believe Mr. Delaluci is have a bit of sport at your expense,” he said, arching his brow and looking directly at Marcus, who returned his gaze, totally unrepentant. Severus continued, “What you are eating is not a mollusk. True oysters can’t be found in the Rocky Mountains. The name “Rocky Mountain Oysters” is simply a pseudonym for that particular cut of beef.”

“Beef?” Professor Flitwick’s eyebrows rose as he looked from Severus to Marcus to Severus again.

“Yes, beef,” Severus continued smoothly.

Marcus set back in his chair and folded his arms, waiting for the Potions Master to drop the bomb.

“It also goes by several other pseudonyms: Prairie Oysters, Mountain Tendergroins, Cowboy Caviar, Swinging Beef and Calf Fries.”

Here Severus paused for effect. Then he said in his silkiest voice, “But you would better be able to identify them by their proper name. Bull testicles.”

Flitwick began to have a coughing fit. Minerva jumped up and grabbed her glass of pumpkin juice and offered it to him, patting him on the back and glaring at Marcus.

Severus leaned back in his seat, his job done.

“How dare you! How dare you, Professor Delaluci, feed a man bull testicles without his knowledge!” Minerva scolded as she continued to pat the coughing and sputtering Charms Master’s back, “he’s about to choke to death!”

Marcus looked at her coldly. “It won’t kill him, if he calms down. It’s just beef, Professor. A meat like any other meat. I was just having a little fun. It won’t hurt him. He thought it delicious until someone…”

He nodded Severus’ way, his brows drawn together slightly.

“Took it upon himself to tell him otherwise,” he said.

Severus snorted and downed a mouthful of food.

“Well, you should be more thoughtful of the feelings of others, Professor Delaluci,” Minerva fussed, still patting Flitwick, “this behavior is simply inexcusable.”

“Stop talking to me as if I were a child, Professor,” Marcus said, his voice taking on a dark edge, his violet eyes telescoping to show large black pupils. Severus took note of this.

”If the Professor had stuck to his own plate in the first place, none of this would have happened. Why do you think gluttony is a sin?” Marcus asked her, his eyes intently focused on her. Minerva wavered. Marcus continued.

“He’s a grown wizard. Let him deal with his own mistakes, like we all do,” he said, rising from the table. “And I’d appreciate it, Madam, if from now on you’ll keep all future conversations between us focused on matters that only concern our interactions, not my interactions with others. Now if you all will excuse me…”

Marcus walked past Minerva, Flitwick and the other staff members and through the teachers exit without another word. It seemed Mr. Delaluci had a form of snarkiness all his own. Professor Flitwick finally calmed down, and Minerva walked the red-faced wizard back to his seat, helping him up and still patting his back concernedly.

She narrowed her eyes at the exit.

“How rude!” she snapped.

Severus finished his meal thoughtfully. Mr. Delaluci’s eyes changed when he was angry. Maybe that occurred whenever he was feeling strong emotion. That might be good to know.

****************************

Marcus strode through the corridor, his nostrils flared in anger. He hated when people talked down to him, a holdover from his days as an orphan. If he had been anywhere else other than Hogwarts, he would have hexed her tongue out of her mouth. Hopefully the pushy Gryffindor Head of House would give him a wide berth from now on. Bossy bitch.

Someone cleared his throat behind him. Marcus spun, crouched and ready.

Albus Dumbledore stood there, looking at him solemnly over his glasses.

“Professor Delaluci,” he said, “a word, if you please…”

*****************************
A/N: Apparently, Marcus likes a joke as much as the next wizard…but man his mood can change…now next let’s check out how Hermione’s doing…