My Fallen Angel

A/N:Hello!
Sorry for he delay, but the winter end of term exams were a living hell. I swear someone must have confuded all of my prof’s. I’ve had to write one exam three times because they lost my paper twice! Grr… As much as I dislike swear words, I’ve let loose quite a string when I’ve heard that they’ve lost my paper again, ‘we’re very sorry, please come here again tomorrow to reseat it’. When I’ve finally had my mark (made the prof check it right away, where I could see the test all the time), I’ve went to my grandma. I thought I will get some rest there, silly me. Well I didn’t, and there’s no net there (the only net-café went bankrupt). By the end of my stay I felt like crying.
One positive thing happened: dad bought me a laptop for my birthday. Writing goes much quicker (even with my room mates constantly playing games) and is much nicer when I can do it ensconced in my cosy room in the students house. I plan to have the next chapter up in a week. I hope I will manage that.
For now I give you this chapter and hope you’ll like it.
Sincerely,
CV
PS. I forgot to thank You all for the reviews You’ve left. It’s really nice to know someone likes my story.
PS2. Sorry for the terrible grammar and spelling. I’ve remembered that I haven’t checked it only some hours after posting. My only excuse is that I’m a bit under the weather, and taking drugs (A crappy excuse I know. Never worked with my teachers either.) Here is the corrected version.

Disclaimer: The world, characters and places used in this story belong to JKR's book Harry Potter. I have no profit from useing them.

Pairing: HP/SS

Rating: NC17


~~Chapter six~~

The first thing Harry was aware of, after waking up, was that he felt much better. Second was that he had no bloody idea where he was. He sat up instantly. He was sitting on a couch, fine-wool blankets pooled in his lap, in front of the most enormous fireplace he has ever seen in his life. Most of the order could easily floo into it at once and there still would be place left. It fitted the room though. Everything was enormous here. The youth took his eyes from the black, marble snakes guarding the grate and looked around to try and discern where he could be.

“Finally back with the living I see.” Harry almost broke his neck, so fast had his head snapped in the direction of the voice. Snape stood in a doorway, a smirk, which almost resembled a smile, playing on his lips.

“Professor! I… That means, where?.. What?.. Oh god! I… I… I’m sorry! I didn’t want to… That is, I didn’t intend… I… It’s completely my fault! I’ll explain to the nurse! I didn’t think! I… It won’t happen again, I promise!” Snape’s expression got tighter and angrier with his every word. Harry felt like running and hiding somewhere dark and away.

“Mister Potter…”

“I can quit potions if you like! Or maybe arrange it so that Campbell could…”

“Harry!” The use of his given name shocked the younger man into silence. “Wherever you intend to undertake this… situation or not, you will not resign from potions.” Snape started for the couch.

“Undert… I… But you… You… What about Miss Campbell?” Harry stood up and backed away slowly.

“What of her?” Severus stopped the expanse of the couch between them.

“Well, you… Your relationship, of course. What else could I mean?”

“Ah! So she is the one I’m happy with. Tell me, Mister Potter, where did you get the idea from?” The professor moved along the couch and Harry immediately moved along the opposite side of it. He observed the Potions Master carefully. The sneer was absent from his tone and it unsettled the young man for some reason.

“Why else would you take such a brainhair for an apprentice? No offence.”

“None taken. It wasn’t I who chose her. She’s here on Dumbledore’s orders. I am not involved with the woman.”

“The way you were acting, it looked like you were very involved.”

“And how, pray tell, was I acting?”

“You were sickeningly polite, to start with. And understanding. And you would excuse every single stupidity she’d done like it never existed. That last lesson she’d almost blew us all up!”

“Exactly the reason for my behaviour.”

Harry stopped dead for a moment and Snape got about two steps closer to him before the young man resumed their dance around the couch. ”Are you planning to take over Dumbledore’s place? You certainly got to his level of his welcoming speeches when it comes to making sense.”

“It’s Professor Dumbledore, and you would have understood what I mean should you think a little. But since we don’t have that much time,” the Vanteera let out an indignant huff, “I will make it easy for you. What I mean is: if she possesses no skills then she needs respect or there will be no school for me to come back to.”

“Back? Back from where?”

“Back from my sabbatical. In the unlikely occurrence that I should live through the war, I want to take a break. After sixteen years of constant work I’ve saved of a years worth of paid leave.”

“And that has what exactly to do with Campbell?”

“Everything. Oh for Merlin’s sake! I’m not going to jump you! You can stop circling!”

“I’m not afraid you’ll ‘jump me’,” snorted Harry.

“Than why are you circling?”

“Because I’m afraid I might jump you. No.” He put up a hand to stop the other man from speaking. “Please, let me finish. No matter if you are involved with the woman or not, this is not a good idea. You hate me. You’ve made that clear enough over the years. And if you do now, think of how you’d feel after years of living together out of obligation…” His hands squished the back of the couch hard enough for his knuckles to go white. “I will not be your responsibility.”

“Are you quite finished?” asked Snape after half a minute of silence.

“Yes,” nodded Harry.

“Good. Then listen to me now. First: you are my responsibility. Every student of this school is. Second: I do not hate you. You irritate me. The stress of looking out for you, with your constant stunts, causes me ulcers. Your stupid, gryffindoresque foolhardiness shortens my life by a decade with every appearance. But, I do not hate you. And third: if the fact that I have thrown my career, as it was, and reputation, however it may be, to the wind and kissed you does not ring any bells for you, than you are a lost cause.” The young man’s brain was still stuck at the ‘I don’t hate you’, to which he promptly gave voice. The Potions Master let out a longsuffering sigh. “I don’t guess that a declaration of the deepest care would satisfy your Gryffindor sense of romanticism?”

A small smile tried to curve Harry’s lips, but was instantly quashed down by a mixture of anger, sadness and insecurity. “Coming from you, it would be better than all of the love poetry ever written combined. If it was true, which it wasn’t. And if you think that I cannot see Dumbledore’s hand in this sudden care,” he looked Snape squarely in the eye, “than you must think me even stupider than you’d ever said.”

Snape’s face contorted. The expression was worse even then the night of Sirius escape and the Vanteera flinched. “Believe what you will, Mister Potter, but you will be coming here at a regular basis. Get used to that thought because I do not intend to chase you. I will body – bind you if necessary. I will not have the whole of the wizarding world hunting me down because of your misconceptions and primadonna behaviour.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” exclaimed Harry, involuntarily taking a step back. The cavernous room seemed much too small all of a sudden.

“I’d hate that, as I am in no way inclined to rape, but if you live me no choice…” The young man just stared for an immeasurable amount of time, but Snape’s face was a blanc mask. Harry paled.

“You wouldn’t… I know you wouldn’t…” He hated how small his voice was.

“I would appreciate not being made to,” and he extended a hand. Harry felt every muscle in his body shake with tension, when he made the short way around the couch and into the Potions Master’s arms. He didn’t know which he wanted to do more: cry or scream. Flee or run to the man. Strong arms surrounded him and he looked up into the face that hunted his dreams fore more then a year. The brows were knitted in an angry scowl, mouth tightened in a thin line and deep lines marked the face, but his eyes… Behind the angry, furious really, flames Harry saw something he never saw before: sadness. Soul deep, aching sorrow. He couldn’t help himself. He slid his arms around the slim chest and started to cry his eyes out, shaking uncontrollably.

“’M sorry… ‘M sorry…”

“Merlin…” Snape half moaned, half sighted, as his arms started to stroke Harry’s back awkwardly. He sat them both back on the couch. “Harry… Don’t be stupider than you are. Calm down, brat, I don’t have the patience for tears. You couldn’t possibly be daft enough to believe that I would hurt you like that. That I would hurt anyone in such a manner.” The soft, whispering tone and occasionally dropped kisses belied the harsh words. The soft, uneven rocking motion slowly soothed Harry. He felt like a little kid but couldn’t bring himself to care. He curled his legs under himself and clung to the other mans robes, trying to regain some real control.

“I… I’m sor-ry I m-made-made you s-say it…” He hiccupped, finally looking up. “I… I’m sorry… I’m s-so stu-upid…I…” The tears he was holding back tightened his throat again. Well, the actions speak more than the words, don’t they? The young man cupped one of Severus cheeks in his hand and pressed his quivering lips to the stunned ones. After an uncertain moment his mate answered the soft cares.

“You’ll be the death of me…” breathed Severus, breaking the kiss and setting his forehead against Harry’s.

“I’m sorry…” The Vanteera cast his eyes down and resisted the urge to drag his sleeve under his running nose. A whispered spell and he could breath normally again. “Thanks…” One of his hands started to toy with a button of Snape’s robe. In the long silence that ensued Harry managed to get himself under control enough to look up and say “I’m surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet. If I were in your place, I would have kicked myself out long time ago.”

“I am sure you would but I can hardly see how it would be productive, considering our situation.” The Potions Master seemed reluctant to straighten up. “I think we had a… rocky enough start without that, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry,” blushed Harry.

“Stop apologising. We are equally at blame for this situation. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

“Ok. This one time.” He sat back against the cushions and looked around. “So… Um… Do you… Could we… I mean, do you think we could start this conversation again? With something a bit… With something… inconsequential, relationship wise, maybe?” Severus snorted but inclined his head. He clearly wasn’t going to be the one to supply a subject. After chewing his lower lip in thought, Harry finally asked, “Well… What does Campbell has to do with your sabbatical?”

Snape sighted. “When I was applying for the post, Albus put a point in my contract stating that should I wish to live for any longer period of time or resign, I will have to train a sufficient substitute first. It seemed reasonable enough then, when I thought it a protection in case the Dark Lord wished to withdraw me from the school. I signed and now we are all doomed with the Longbottom in a skirt.”

The green eyed man snickered a little at the sour tone. “Neville isn’t that bad, you know? He had never made mistakes purposefully.” His mate scowled and he sobered back up. “You realise, of course, that she does them with a goal in her mind.”

“That is solely her problem.”

“I think you underestimate her potential for causing trouble… Especially since she looks like one to have troubles with understanding refusal. And I’m saying this! The world is ending,” Harry muttered under his breath, before continuing. “And if you think that I will just stand by and watch as some overly hufflepuffish, stupid, romance addicted… Barbie paw all over my mate, then you have another thing coming!” he glowered a little by the end.

“My, my… We are possessive, aren’t we?” Came the, only slightly mocking, reply.

“Yes, we are!” The Vanteera stated adamantly and a furious blush rose to his face instantly. Severus smirked a little, satisfied smirk. Comfortable silence stretched between them like a contented cat. Harry looked around, trying not to be too obvious about it. As if his body suddenly possessed a mind of its own, he was slowly inching closer to his mate.

“You said that your mate was a person who was very important to you for a long time.” The words were so unexpected that the younger man could only nod dumbly. “That makes absolutely no sense. I do understand how time can seem to drag when you are seventeen, but even then two months do not constitute for ‘very long time’.”

“You know, Snape, for someone renowned for logic, you are quite dense sometimes.” A soft smile on his face was meant to take the edge of the remark, but it was ignored.

“Now watch there…”

“Well, what would you have me say?” He asked, his tone defensive. “I would think it was obvious that it wasn’t my Vanteera side that produced my… feelings for you. To tell the truth, when Dumbledore first told me what I am and about mating… I was terrified, that it will be someone else… Because, as far as I know, this form doesn’t make you feel anything. And I could have ended up with anyone.” He shuddered as he remembered his thought of McGonagall.

“Harry?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. You were saying?” The youth startled at the warm gaze directed at him.

“I was saying that, taking our situation into account, you could consider using my given name.” Harry stared. “You find the idea objectionable?”

“No! Of course not!” he exclaimed. “I’ve just only realized you were calling me Harry all this time.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would have anything against it. I admit I should have asked permission first.”

“No! You were right. I don’t have anything against it. I just thought… Shouldn’t it be a little harder to switch from ‘Mr. Potter’ to ‘Harry’? I’m sure it will take time to get used to calling you Severus.’

“Not in the classroom, though, if you wouldn’t mind. It wouldn’t do. As for getting used to things: it depends on many factors,” was Snape’s cryptic response.

“Life with you may be many things but I think boring will certainly not be one of them,” said the green eyed wizard. As an afterthought he added, “Severus,” and couldn’t help but smile at the feel of the name rolling of his tongue.

“Ah… I do hope you do not count on my organizing the kind of brainhaired ventures you engage in yearly just for your entertainment.”

“No. Don’t be silly. You don’t need to do anything like that. You just have to be you and everything will be all right.”

One brow rose. “Most people would now maintain that you are a masochist.” Harry burst out laughing.

“Yes, I know. Ron will probably do that anyway.” The smile disappeared as he startled. “What’s the time by the way? I need to go back to the tower.”

“If you fear you friend’s reaction enough or already tire of my company, that doesn’t bode well for our relationship.” Snape crossed his arms and scowled at something right above Harry’s left shoulder.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that! I refuse to believe that you normally act this way.” The scowl morphed into an expression of mild annoyance. At the fact that the behaviour hasn’t affected him as planed, undoubtedly. “And I need to talk with my friends before this,” he waved vaguely around, “brakes out. I have to make them understand. Please. They are really important to me. Please, Severus…”

“They will understand just as well, if not better, in the morning.” The Potions Master cast tempus. “Or, rather, later in the morning, as it already is 2:37.”

“What?! It couldn’t have been six when I woke up at the infirmary!”

“Time tends to fly past when one is sleeping.”

“Sn… Severus, please. They are surely worried. I know you don’t want me telling them, but…” A raised hand stopped him mid sentence.

“As for telling your friends, you will find a way to do that whatever I say. I will not waste my breath. And since they must be already worried, then I think that they can worry a bit more. I will not let you out of my sight until six. Poppy’s order, so you can stop fighting.”

“Ok, I won’t,” sighted Harry. “You’re probably right anyway.”

“As always. Since we are at this, Albus wants us to meet him before breakfast. You are to bring your friends.”

“So that’s why you agreed so easily! You are impossible!” laughed the young man.

“I haven’t agreed on anything. I can’t see the reason for the meeting. My place in the Dark Lord’s ranks is unstable as it is. If any of this came out at a bad moment, we’ll be left with no source of information.”

Harry’s laughter acquired a little unpleasant, hysterical quality. “Sorry. For a moment I thought you said that you meant to continue spying.” Harry let out another bark of laughter. Severus has never looked so much like an enraged vulture, like he did at that moment.

“You’ve understood me just right. The Dark Lord won’t take vacations from the war to suite your love life. We need all the information that can be got. And I do hope that your occlumensy is better than the last time I’ve checked.” Venom dripped of every word.

“My occlumensy is just fine, and not thanks to you either!” The younger wizard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, but you shouldn’t have dragged that up. I’m not going to back up on this, though. I don’t want to wonder if I’ll find your body on the doorstep every time you go out. It was bad enough before, when his paranoia could make him turn on you…” He was whispering by the end. After a moment he looked his mate in the eye and said evenly: “I’m sorry Severus but you’ll have to decide what is more important to you: me or spying.”

“We’ll see,” was Snape’s drawled reply. Harry swore under his breath.

“Anyway, you should know best that there’s no such thing as a secret in this place. Sooner or later everything comes out.”

“Yes, you know something about that, don’t you?” The vanteera smacked his mate even though he heard the tiny hint of amusement and teasing in the voice.

“I try to keep to myself. It’s not my fault that the world will not leave me alone.” Severus grunted his agreement and the silence that ensued was much less oppressive. Harry got back to his surreptitious survey of the chamber. He was just taxing the dirty potions vials in what was clearly a kitchen area when the older man spoke up again.

“It’s not surprising that you would be… weary of people with the kind of background you have.” The youth looked back to the other man, but there was no mocking in the man's eyes, no pity either. It was just a simple statement.

“About it… I’ve wanted to thank you for getting me out of there, but there never seemed to be appropriate moment…”

“You don’t have to…”

“I’ve said I’ve wanted,” Harry’s smile was distinctly feline, “not that I had to.” He crawled the short distance between them, not letting Snape’s gaze for a second. Supporting himself with hands on the Potions Master’s tights, he brought his face inches away from his mate’s. He hesitated for a split second, he knew how bad he was at this, before touching his lips lightly to the thin ones. Severus let him control the kiss for a while before taking over. He gave silent hints and tips and soon the kiss grew unbelievably hotter. Harry just felt a hand sneak under his shirt when suddenly muscles in his arms sized up and he fell, face first, into his mate’s chest, squashing his nose painfully.

“Ow!..” Strong arms lowered him to Snape’s lap and massaged his muscles until they loosened up again. “Thanks,” he sighted and turned his head to look up at his mate. His cheek brushed something that was definitely not Severus wand and he blushed fiercely. “I… um…”

“We should go to bed and try to get some sleep,” said the other man in a matter of fact tone of voice and ushered the youth up. “Poppy will have my head if you won’t sleep enough.”

“But…” Harry felt his head spin. How could he act so unaffected when Harry new… “I thought… Don’t… Don’t you want to mmh…” Severus’ mouth on his made the young man lose any line of thought he might have had. He was positively dazed when it left him and he looked up through heavy-leaded eyes.

“I wish I could silence you this way in class.”

“I might be quiet but the rest would either faint or get hysterical so I don’t see the point. And you’ve never struck me as an exhibitionist anyway.”

“My, you are witty tonight.”

“I have my moments, you know,” he smirked, then looked uncertain again. “So… um… Where do I sleep?”

“Come.” He was led to a door obscured up to now by a big cabinet. “Make yourself at home,” said the professor opening the door.

The room was enormous. It was the size of the dorm bedroom or a medium-sized flat. Though Harry thought it kind of suited the rest of the chambers. Most probably everything here was so big. He stood awkwardly near the door, watching as Severus strode in and casually started to undress. Hungry eyes watched as layer after layer of clothing disappeared. The older man has already halfway unbuttoned his shirt and was about to take it over his head when he noticed that he was alone by the head of the bed.

“Is something wrong?”

“I just…” The vanteera blushed but marched on. “It’s kind of bizarre considering the situation we’re in, isn’t it? Actually sleeping together, if you know what I mean. Of course you know. Yeah… I don’t have any… But surely… Well…”

Severus smirked. “Harry.”

“Yes?” Startled eyes turned to him.

“Do come here.” He extended one hand and the younger man did, slowly, keeping his eyes on the hardwood floor. “If you want, I can sleep in the guestroom tonight.” A glance through his fringe and then the young man shook his head. “Harry, look at me.” The voice was so… Harry couldn’t name it, but he would do absolutely everything when asked with that tone. He looked into the black eyes. There were hands carding through his hair, stroking his cheeks, and he was drowning in the sensations assaulting him. Suddenly his mate gasped, eyes widening slightly. “You’re a… But…” The youth would have laughed, if the need to hide somewhere dark and away hasn’t been overpowering everything else. He managed to surprise Severus Snape twice in less than 24 hours! What a feat was that! He felt tears stinging in his eyes and quashed them ruthlessly. He’d cried enough in front of that man. He started to shrink back into himself, trying to hide without running away.

“Sorry…” He barely heard his own murmur. He shook his head. “I… should have told you. Sorry…”

“Harry…”

“No, please don’t… I can take everything but not pity. Not from you. Not over this.”

“I’m prone to many emotions but pity is not amongst them. It’s counterproductive in the extreme and…”

“Good. I’ll…”

“Don’t interrupt me.” Harry flinched at the barked order. Determination quickly turning to irrational fear, he took a few hasty steps back. “Merlin…” At the sound of soft footsteps approaching him, he desperately wanted to flee, but his feet were frozen to the spot. At the gentle touch to his shoulder he almost did anyway. “I should have torn him limb for limb… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let my classroom mode take over.” That wrenched a biter laugh out of the creature.

“Watch out. Someone might think you care. What would that do to your reputation. I’m the one who should apologise. Dumbledore sure as hell knows everything by now. I’m afraid you’re doomed with a stupid freak. A sodding virgin, to add salt to the already oozing wound.” He was shaking with anger by the end. Strong arms surrounded him and brought him flush against Severus body. He struggled against the embrace but his strength betrayed him, as did his anger, and he slumped against the strong form of his mate. He let himself be held, savouring the unique feel and smell of the other man. He was aware of Snape’s angry mutters but the sound of his heartbeat in his ears drowned out the actual words. Finally, the older man took a half step back and forced Harry to look at him again.

“Have you calmed down?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me then: are you stupid? Or a freak for that matter?”

“No, I… It’s kind of hard to get out of your mind something you were spoon-fed half of your life. I know it’s not true. Like I know magic is real, but…” He shrugged.

“I do understand. My father… wasn’t the type to win ‘The Parent of the Year’ award. It took me years to get his voice out of my head.”

“Yeah, well… I’m still a virgin, though.” His cheeks blazed bright red. “And I don’t think there’s much to do abut it now. I hope it’s not to big a problem.”

“What in seven hells are you taking about?” The other man seemed to actually not understand.

“Well, I’m not stupid. I know you are much more experienced than I am. I just hope it won’t be too much of an indisposition to…” he tailed of into soft grumbling under his breath. Severus managed to catch ‘deflowering’ and ‘stupid’ from the seemingly incoherent flow of words.

“You truly are clueless.”

“What?!” Harry scowled at his mate. How dare he laugh at him over this?! His eyes almost bugged out when he saw the corners of the thin lips curve into a predatory smile.

“A true innocent…” The low purr send shivers down his spine. “It’s a powerful aphrodisiac, Harry, to know that no one had ever touched you.” Long fingers slid teasingly down his sides, “No one evoked those feelings and sounds.” His breath hitched when his nipples were tweaked lightly. “And no one else ever will.” A moan wrenched out of him when his earlobe was nipped.

“Oh please…” He arched into the touch.

“I will give everything you want,” A kiss left a burning sensation on the side of his neck. “But not tonight.” His shirt was lifted over his head and he felt like shouting with frustration.

“I thought you wanted me…”

“I do.” The words were simple but the fire in the bottomless eyes made Harry’s knees weak.

“Then why not make me yours?” He whispered putting his hands on his mate’s chest and looking up into the lust filed eyes. Severus moan almost stopped his heart.

“You don’t even realise what picture you make…” Snape closed his eyes and shook his head. “No, we can’t. If you had one of your seizures it could turn out disastrous for either one or both of us.” Harry’s mind supplied him with a few possible scenarios and he bleached. “You seem to understand.”

“I hate my body.”

“Pity. I seem to quite like it. Now come to bed finally.” He younger man chocked when they were down to boxers with one irritated wand wave. The thin fabric did nothing to hide his state and he scrambled under the duvets quickly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve actually slept with somebody,” said the other man when he settled into bed at a more leisurely pace, “so please excuse me if I hog the covers.”

“I don’t have much experience, but I think that if we managed to sleep really close it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Severus chuckled, a deep, low sound that raised the hair at Harry’s nape, and pulled him to his chest. Harry sighted. The other man radiated pleasant hit and his already familiar smell. The youth longed to borrow closer into it all but knew better than to do so. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to control himself, and he didn’t want to look like a sex-ridden fool. He sighted again and put his head on his mate’s chest and drifted of to sleep carding fingers through the short, soft hair there and listening to his soon to be lover’s heartbeat.