When Living Ain\'t Easy

Check prologue for all notes, warnings, etc.

A/N the first: Multiple chocolate-covered, orgasmic hugs and smooches to all who\'ve reviewed! Your kind words and constructive comments mean the world to me *snog*

A/N part two: I know where I left last chapter, but bear with me. It\'s almost more fun when the victim is clueless... and I do love picking on Draco ;)


Chapter Six : Down to the Drawing Board

As late as they went to bed (Harry had checked his muggle wristwatch -- well after 1am), the Gryffindor still woke before his hosts. Having never had the luxury of sleeping late, Harry\'s internal clock forced him out of bed at half six. He quietly took a shower and put on fresh clothes, relieved not to need his cousin\'s castoffs here.

Even after taking his time for morning ablutions, none of the others were showing any signs of life. Grumbling over the unfair sloth of the upper class -- with a heavy dose of sarcasm -- Harry headed to the kitchen.

His attention the night before had been stunted by a fair amount of shock and introspection, making the morning\'s forray a series of discoveries. The expanded larder was fully stocked for long-term habitation, which made sense as Harry suspected there would be few field trips for those in hiding. Opening the refrigerator proved that it too was magically enhanced and carried stay-fresh charms on all perishables.

A mischievous grin crossed the brunet\'s face. He had managed to impress all three Slytherins the previous evening with his words and wit, and for an encore he would make a fine breakfast to greet their *snicker* shining faces this morning.

~ * ~

The tantalizing aroma of well-brewed tea and othere morning vituals drew Lucius from the depths of slumber. His first reaction was to curse whatever ill-trained house elf that had dared disturb his rest, before recalling that there were no elves in residence. So which of his companions had begun breakfast...

To the best of his knowledge, his son had no abilities in the kitchen beyond the simplest of fare. And while Severus was a decent cook, he was to be found snoring lightly in the next bed. Which left their newest member.

Showered and groomed, the elder Malfoy followed his stomach\'s insistent lead toward the delectable scents beckoning him into the kitchen. There he found a plate overflowing with fluffy omelet, fruit-topped waffle, and thick slabs of sizzling ham, set in front of his preferred chair. A steaming cup of tea appeared as he reached his seat, already prepared to his taste.

\"Good Morning, Mr. Malfoyy. Do let me know if you\'d prefer something else. I\'m just messing aroud with different things right now.\" Harry\'s voice almost made him jump, coming from behind his right shoulder as the youth added a serving platter of seasoned tomatoes and mushrooms to the table. A carafe of warmed maple syrup joined the spread, and Harry smirked behind the blond\'s back.

\"Let me help, sir. We certainly don\'t want this silver mane to get coated in syrup.\" So saying, the Gryffindor wound Lucius\' long hair in one hand, working a ribbon around it and into a bow. If his fingers lingered on the older man\'s neck a second longer than necessaryy, Harry figured he could get awayy with it -- the formidable Malfoy psion was too busy devouring waffles and tea to chastise him for taking liberties.

Less than ten minutes later, the Gryffindor joined him at the table. Harry scooped up his own serving of various foodstuffs and dug in. After all, one of the chief benefits of being the cook was to taste test the finished product.

He moaned around a mouthful of cheese and vegetable omelet, quickly washing it down to greet the latest riser. \"Good Morning, Professor. I hope you\'ll find something you like already prepared. If not, let me know and I\'ll whip up whatever suits your fancy.\"

In truth, Harry had started eating even before the first batch of waffles were placed on the iron. Aunt Petunia had trained him well after all -- no one was to witness the \'abnormality\' doing anything unnecessary. See and not heard, and only seen when they wanted a silent servant. But those thoughts were hardly condusive to a pleasant morning, and Harry did his best to shove them into the darkest shadows of his mind.

As he came back to the present, Harry realized that his teacher had gone no further than the doorway. He grinned, quickly displacing the urge to tease the Potions Master. Pouring a cup of tea and doctoring it to suit Snape\'s tastes, he offered the cup and drew out a chair. \"Sir, if you\'ll just point at your preference, I\'ll fix your plate.\"

The Boy Who Lived had no intentions of turning into a house elf for yet another group, but his plans to keep both older wizards off balance was coming along nicely. He needed them to shake loose their former opinions of him, especially since each had developed very vivid impressions of him as a terribly lucky but otherwise useless Gryffindor. Harry acknowledged that he had worked hard to prefect that mask, but it was time to unveil at least a bit of his competence to this trio of wizards.

And speaking of trios, the third could be heard shuffling down the hall. Harry lightly touched his teacher\'s arm, leading the man to his chair. Moments later, a very bedraggled Draco joined the group, looking very much worse for wear. His hair stuck out in all directions, making Harry\'s messy fop almost seem tame by comparison. His pyjama top was half unbuttoned, the waistband of his pants twisted to the side. On his feet were, at first glance, fluffy bunny slippers in a lurid pink. Harry made a choked sound, holding back the fit of laughter demanding to be set free. He hadn\'t really expected the spell to go quite so well -- the blond\'s feet had been transfigured into flourescent pink rabbit feet, and Draco had yet to notice!

Apparently, the youngest Slytherin was less of a morning person than his Head of House. Even after gulping down two cups of strong, unadulterated tea and a plate of food, Draco\'s eyes were still barely slitted open, completely unfocused.

Lucius saw the way Harry was watching hisson, humor flitting across the youthful face, and came to a conclusion, \"Mr. Potter, it is truly a waste of time pulling pranks on my dear son until he is alert enough to appreciate your efforts. I would counsel for you to postpone any future endeavors until midmorning, if you wish to have his undivided attention.\"

Harry stopped his quiet snickering through sheer force of will. \"Honestly sir, this is much more entertaining. The spell will wear off in about half an hour -- just enough time for me to memorize the vision, and too soon for him to think about revenge.\" Seeing the speculation in the older man\'s eyes, Harry rushed to clarify, \"I\'m definitely not interested in him like that, Mr. Malfoy. But you gotta admit, he\'s just too funny like this.\"

A tilt of the silver head acknowledged Harry\'s assertion, grey eyes searching black to do another of those wordless conversations.

\"Oi, would you two stop that?!\" Both older men glanced at the sole Gryffindor. \"I\'ve got a girlfriend, thank you very much. Besides, if I were going to switch teams, it\'d be with someone older, more... experienced and refined. Your son is far from my ideal of a prospective date.\"

Severus\' lips twitched, mirroring the humor found on Lucius\' face. \"Indeed, Mr. Potter? Would you care to elaborate on this potentially informative topic? I would have thought the Golden Boy to be thoroughly heterosexual, if rumors carry an ounce of truth.\"

Instead of the blush he was expecting to cause, Severus watched his student dissolve into quiet laughter.

\"Oh please. It\'s not like I can\'t read, sir.\" Identical expressions of confusion greeted Harry\'s statement. \"Here\'s the thing. In the muggle world, most people are straight. Those who can admit to an attraction to their own gender are usually labelled gay, even if they like both sexes. But that\'s nowhere near the truth for magic folk, is it? Magical compatibility happens where it happens, so finding a love match with either gender is acceptible. \'Mione and I foud some books explaining all that, and unless there\'s some unwritten rules in the upper class, I\'ll keep an open mind. For now, I\'m taken anyways, and I won\'t consider playing aroud on Ginny.\"

\"Mr. Potter, I must apologize once more. Many muggle-raised choose to maintain their hetero-centric outlook, ignoring the differences to be found within magical culture.\" Snape sipped his tea, thoughtfully considering his next query. \"Can we safely assume that you, and Miss Granger of course, have researched the basics of political and familial practices as well?\"

Harry nodded as he muched on a piece of crispy bacon. Swallowing, he wiped his mouth and smirked at his professor. \"Naturally. We\'re at enough of a disadvantage without the additional ignorance of our culture. And since Hogwarts offers no classes to orient us, we did our own research.\" His grin turned somewhat shy.

\"We\'ve begun a series of booklets to give to the other muggle-raised. One set for the parents and family, another for the witch or wizard, that lists the best resources for answering all kinds of questions. It was hard work too! So many books seem to take for granted a certain level of backgroud information. For instance, it took us almost three months to locate an explanation for the term \'apprentice-bond\', even though we foud it used everywhere. All the authors seem to feel that the reader should already know what that was.\"

Throughout his speech, Harry added tobasco sauce to Draco\'s eggs, dropped a tablespoon of garlic on his waffle, and almost as much ground pepper into his tea. The blond ate mechanically, not registering such conflicting flavors. Lucius sat back and watched his son with a wicked glint in his eye.

\"He\'s going to be absolutely miserable all morning,\" the senior Malfoyy stated absently. He was more amuseed than worried -- they had a resident Potions Master to administer stomach relief potions, after all.

\"Nah, the Slytherins do this sort of thing to him all the time. I just wanted him to feel more at home,\" Harry said in a sweetly innocent voice. His cherubic act was tarnished somewhat when he tipped a capful of ground cumin to Draco\'s already pranked cup of tea.