I'm Beautiful, Damn It!
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
21
Views:
11,315
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
21
Views:
11,315
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Draco And The Muggley Things
Disclaimer: You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you? Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, I don’t own Harry Potter. There, I admitted it. Happy????
Chapter 7
Draco and the Muggley Things
Hermione had not spoken to Draco for a few days. She simply stayed in her room at night and gave him the cold shoulder during classes.
She had just returned from dinner. She muttered her password to her portrait and stepped inside and was shocked to find Draco sitting on her bed playing with a large tube of peel-off facial mask.
“And what exactly do you use this for, pray tell?” Draco asked with an extremely disgusted look on his face.
Hermione’s eyes widened in anger.
“OOOOUT!” she shrieked angrily and pointed her finger towards the door.
“Now, now Granger, manners.” Draco said calmly, with an infuriating smirk on his face.
“You keep speaking to me in that manner and giving me that horrible troll face of yours and people are going to think you don’t like me.” he added.
He lay back on her bed and put his arms behind his head.
“Besides, we have a large workload for Snape tonight and I’m tired of doing it all by myself. You’re helping tonight if I have to carry your ass out into the common room......or we could always...ahem...work on it in here.” he added with a grin and patted the mattress beside him.
“UGH!” Hermione cried. He had won.
“To the common room, then” she said.
???????????????????
Draco had attempted many times to engage Hermione in conversation, but she said nothing more to him than the occasional “Could you pass another paper please?”
He frowned at this.
“Why is she being such a bitch?” he thought.
He decided to voice his thought.
“Why are you being such a bitch?” he asked exasperated. I mean, what did she want from him.
Hermione looked outraged.
“Weeeeell Malfoy, lets explore that question shall we? You accosted me in potions class in front of my best friend, then proceeded to beat him up, and finally you nicknamed me “Mud”. Noooo, Malfoy, I shouldn’t feel put out with you at all!!!” She said, exasperated.
“Did you just say you were going to put out for me?” he asked, perking up in his chair and looking slightly interested.
“No no, the phrase “Put out with you” means..oh never mind!!! You are hopeless. I really shouldn’t want to spend my time with you.” she stated.
He leaned over and grinned.
“But you do..”
“I hate you. I dislike you greatly.....you are so off my Christmas Card list.” she muttered under her breath.
“Christmas cards??! Did someone write that on their paper? Lemme see!!” he cried, grasping for the paper in Hermione’s hand.
He snatched it up and scanned it thoroughly.
“Heeeey,” he frowned. “Theres no Christmas cards here. Just the wrong answers.”
Hermione cracked up.
“Tell me Malfoy, dear, why exactly would someone write ‘Christmas cards’ down on their paper? You can be so dense, sometimes...”
He stuck his tongue out at her.
“Mature.” she said.
Draco tossed his quill aside.
“I’m bored” he announced.
“Didn’t realize the purpose of humanity was to entertain you, Draco.” she muttered.
He was back to Draco, not Malfoy. He mentally slapped himself a high five.
“Hmm.....I need to strive while the irons hot....think of something funny...something to keep her talking to you...“ he thought.
“Umm....so, wanna get drunk and make out?” he asked, hopefully.
Hermione slammed down her quill.
“Is that all you think about?” she asked amazed.
“No, I like Qudditch too!” he added, completely oblivious to the fact that what he’d just said was offensive.
He looked around the room.
“Umm...so,” he asked “Want to show me how to use that goop that I was playing with in your room earlier?”
A look of extreme irritation appeared on her face and she started to speak but her face suddenly cleared...as though something had just occurred to her.
“Yes, Draco, I’d love to show you how to use that goop.”
He didn’t like that look, not at all. It was muggley, it couldn’t be that bad......could it?
????????????????
Minutes later, Draco found himself seated on Hermione’s toilet with his hair with a large ponytail on the top of his head and Hermione smiling happily and smearing something that felt suspiciously like snot on his forehead....and looked like it too.
“I don’t like this.” he whined.
Hermione frowned.
“Oh come on Daisy,” she grinned “This is how girls bond. Maybe you need your bathrobe and shower cap to feel more comfortable. Ooooh and we can paint each other‘s fingernails next!”
Draco gave her something that looked incredibly similar to the stink eye.
“Ok, ok, we can save fingernail painting for a more advanced slumber party.” she laughed.
His expression brightened.
“Slumber party?” He asked. “We’re going to have a slumber party?”
“Oh, you want to try muggley things now?” she asked, smearing another large goop down the side of his cheek.
He frowned. “Well, it kind of sounded like fun. I mean, you do do other things besides sleep in the same room, right? I mean, cause what fun is that? I don‘t want to spend my night listening to you snore”
Hermione giggled. “Yea you do other things, you do each other’s hair, and paint nails and sing kareoke, stay up late and tell secrets and giggle.”
“Whats Kareoke?” he asked cautiously. It sounded painful.....but the telling secrets part did sound fun.
“It’s were you play a song and sing into a microphone along with it.” she stated.
“Hmmm.....well, it can’t be much worse than having a ponytail and a snot face.” he thought.
????????????????????
He had never seen Hermione so excited. After its drying, she promptly peeled the goop from his face and sent him to his room for pajamas.
“OOooh, and we’re going to need popcorn and ice cream and sleeping bags, and flashlights...Ohh and a phone to prank call people would be so great, but they’re muggle items along with flash lights but we could use our wands for that....and maybe we could put bags on our heads and stick ‘em in the fire and scream into peoples houses or something!!” she cried as she bounded out of the common room and headed for the kitchens.
Draco was frightened. Slumber parties sounded awfully illegal.
He walked into his room and riffled through his trunk.
“What the hell do I wear to one of these things?” he thought. “Pajamas, pajamas...hmm...”
He normally slept in the nude and would thoroughly enjoy the look of shock on her face when he emerged Broadway-style from his bedroom in nothing but his birthday suit, but alas, in the interest of keeping the newly found peace, he opted for the next best thing: boxers.
He appraised himself in front of the mirror.
“Oh yea,” he said. “I’m pretty man. I’m beautiful, damn it!”
He flexed in front of the mirror.
He didn’t hear his portrait swing open. Hermione stood there giggling, a tray of food floating behind her.
He whipped around quickly.
“How long have you been there?!?” he demanded.
“Long enough to know that you’re a pretty man.” she laughed. “You’re beautiful, damn it!”
A/N: and now to the “Thank you, we love you” portion of our fanfic! (and we doooooo)
LeoGirl45: Thank you very much! We don’t think youre so bad yourself!
LadyMalfoy730: See previous chapter for the crotch pheasant thing.
Ginny-and-Draco-Fan: Score 5 points for a conversion! lol I really like Ginny/Draco fic as well, but theres just something so appealing to me about Hermione/Draco fic.
Anthony Flea John Chad: Hehe glad youre enjoying it! :o)
FrunkyFresh: Wow, we really like your name. hehe
Laurea: Yes, we did quote Wayne’s World. Everytime I think of Pansy and Draco, I think of Stacey and Wayne. We like to add things in that we find amusing and well, lol that is.
ChickenFlavoredRamen: To my mortification, that dawned on me as soon as I read your review. I am so embarrassed! :::hides my face in shame::
StrawberryGurll: We get a bit lazy too. i’m scared to think whats going to happen once we come down off the sugar high we’re on.....
SarahSoda: Thank you! That means a lot to us!! You are Grrrrreat!!
Well, keep reviewing and we’ll keep writing! mmmmmmwaaah!!
Chapter 7
Draco and the Muggley Things
Hermione had not spoken to Draco for a few days. She simply stayed in her room at night and gave him the cold shoulder during classes.
She had just returned from dinner. She muttered her password to her portrait and stepped inside and was shocked to find Draco sitting on her bed playing with a large tube of peel-off facial mask.
“And what exactly do you use this for, pray tell?” Draco asked with an extremely disgusted look on his face.
Hermione’s eyes widened in anger.
“OOOOUT!” she shrieked angrily and pointed her finger towards the door.
“Now, now Granger, manners.” Draco said calmly, with an infuriating smirk on his face.
“You keep speaking to me in that manner and giving me that horrible troll face of yours and people are going to think you don’t like me.” he added.
He lay back on her bed and put his arms behind his head.
“Besides, we have a large workload for Snape tonight and I’m tired of doing it all by myself. You’re helping tonight if I have to carry your ass out into the common room......or we could always...ahem...work on it in here.” he added with a grin and patted the mattress beside him.
“UGH!” Hermione cried. He had won.
“To the common room, then” she said.
???????????????????
Draco had attempted many times to engage Hermione in conversation, but she said nothing more to him than the occasional “Could you pass another paper please?”
He frowned at this.
“Why is she being such a bitch?” he thought.
He decided to voice his thought.
“Why are you being such a bitch?” he asked exasperated. I mean, what did she want from him.
Hermione looked outraged.
“Weeeeell Malfoy, lets explore that question shall we? You accosted me in potions class in front of my best friend, then proceeded to beat him up, and finally you nicknamed me “Mud”. Noooo, Malfoy, I shouldn’t feel put out with you at all!!!” She said, exasperated.
“Did you just say you were going to put out for me?” he asked, perking up in his chair and looking slightly interested.
“No no, the phrase “Put out with you” means..oh never mind!!! You are hopeless. I really shouldn’t want to spend my time with you.” she stated.
He leaned over and grinned.
“But you do..”
“I hate you. I dislike you greatly.....you are so off my Christmas Card list.” she muttered under her breath.
“Christmas cards??! Did someone write that on their paper? Lemme see!!” he cried, grasping for the paper in Hermione’s hand.
He snatched it up and scanned it thoroughly.
“Heeeey,” he frowned. “Theres no Christmas cards here. Just the wrong answers.”
Hermione cracked up.
“Tell me Malfoy, dear, why exactly would someone write ‘Christmas cards’ down on their paper? You can be so dense, sometimes...”
He stuck his tongue out at her.
“Mature.” she said.
Draco tossed his quill aside.
“I’m bored” he announced.
“Didn’t realize the purpose of humanity was to entertain you, Draco.” she muttered.
He was back to Draco, not Malfoy. He mentally slapped himself a high five.
“Hmm.....I need to strive while the irons hot....think of something funny...something to keep her talking to you...“ he thought.
“Umm....so, wanna get drunk and make out?” he asked, hopefully.
Hermione slammed down her quill.
“Is that all you think about?” she asked amazed.
“No, I like Qudditch too!” he added, completely oblivious to the fact that what he’d just said was offensive.
He looked around the room.
“Umm...so,” he asked “Want to show me how to use that goop that I was playing with in your room earlier?”
A look of extreme irritation appeared on her face and she started to speak but her face suddenly cleared...as though something had just occurred to her.
“Yes, Draco, I’d love to show you how to use that goop.”
He didn’t like that look, not at all. It was muggley, it couldn’t be that bad......could it?
????????????????
Minutes later, Draco found himself seated on Hermione’s toilet with his hair with a large ponytail on the top of his head and Hermione smiling happily and smearing something that felt suspiciously like snot on his forehead....and looked like it too.
“I don’t like this.” he whined.
Hermione frowned.
“Oh come on Daisy,” she grinned “This is how girls bond. Maybe you need your bathrobe and shower cap to feel more comfortable. Ooooh and we can paint each other‘s fingernails next!”
Draco gave her something that looked incredibly similar to the stink eye.
“Ok, ok, we can save fingernail painting for a more advanced slumber party.” she laughed.
His expression brightened.
“Slumber party?” He asked. “We’re going to have a slumber party?”
“Oh, you want to try muggley things now?” she asked, smearing another large goop down the side of his cheek.
He frowned. “Well, it kind of sounded like fun. I mean, you do do other things besides sleep in the same room, right? I mean, cause what fun is that? I don‘t want to spend my night listening to you snore”
Hermione giggled. “Yea you do other things, you do each other’s hair, and paint nails and sing kareoke, stay up late and tell secrets and giggle.”
“Whats Kareoke?” he asked cautiously. It sounded painful.....but the telling secrets part did sound fun.
“It’s were you play a song and sing into a microphone along with it.” she stated.
“Hmmm.....well, it can’t be much worse than having a ponytail and a snot face.” he thought.
????????????????????
He had never seen Hermione so excited. After its drying, she promptly peeled the goop from his face and sent him to his room for pajamas.
“OOooh, and we’re going to need popcorn and ice cream and sleeping bags, and flashlights...Ohh and a phone to prank call people would be so great, but they’re muggle items along with flash lights but we could use our wands for that....and maybe we could put bags on our heads and stick ‘em in the fire and scream into peoples houses or something!!” she cried as she bounded out of the common room and headed for the kitchens.
Draco was frightened. Slumber parties sounded awfully illegal.
He walked into his room and riffled through his trunk.
“What the hell do I wear to one of these things?” he thought. “Pajamas, pajamas...hmm...”
He normally slept in the nude and would thoroughly enjoy the look of shock on her face when he emerged Broadway-style from his bedroom in nothing but his birthday suit, but alas, in the interest of keeping the newly found peace, he opted for the next best thing: boxers.
He appraised himself in front of the mirror.
“Oh yea,” he said. “I’m pretty man. I’m beautiful, damn it!”
He flexed in front of the mirror.
He didn’t hear his portrait swing open. Hermione stood there giggling, a tray of food floating behind her.
He whipped around quickly.
“How long have you been there?!?” he demanded.
“Long enough to know that you’re a pretty man.” she laughed. “You’re beautiful, damn it!”
A/N: and now to the “Thank you, we love you” portion of our fanfic! (and we doooooo)
LeoGirl45: Thank you very much! We don’t think youre so bad yourself!
LadyMalfoy730: See previous chapter for the crotch pheasant thing.
Ginny-and-Draco-Fan: Score 5 points for a conversion! lol I really like Ginny/Draco fic as well, but theres just something so appealing to me about Hermione/Draco fic.
Anthony Flea John Chad: Hehe glad youre enjoying it! :o)
FrunkyFresh: Wow, we really like your name. hehe
Laurea: Yes, we did quote Wayne’s World. Everytime I think of Pansy and Draco, I think of Stacey and Wayne. We like to add things in that we find amusing and well, lol that is.
ChickenFlavoredRamen: To my mortification, that dawned on me as soon as I read your review. I am so embarrassed! :::hides my face in shame::
StrawberryGurll: We get a bit lazy too. i’m scared to think whats going to happen once we come down off the sugar high we’re on.....
SarahSoda: Thank you! That means a lot to us!! You are Grrrrreat!!
Well, keep reviewing and we’ll keep writing! mmmmmmwaaah!!