Forget about Love

Erica woke up the next morning on the soft couch. Her clothes were sitting on the small table in front of her next to her daggers. She sat up holding the blanket close to her, as she was still naked.

Images from the night before flashed before her face. A small smile crept across her features.

\'That was the most amazing night on my life. I never thought I would ever be with Severus like that.\'

“Good morning,” Snape said knocking Erica out of her thoughts. She looked up to the front door with surprise. He had startled her.

“Good morning,” Erica said. Snape was fully dressed in his typical black attire.

Snape walked across the room and entered his private lab without another word. He shut the door behind him and warded it against her. He needed to work and without interruption.

Snape sat on a stool and began preparing ingredients. His mind wasn’t on the chopping as much as it was the events of last night.

He had shown weakness. He had shown passion he never even knew he had. It was amazing…but still a mistake. When the war was over and Erica played her little bit in assisting Potter, he was going to kill her.

\'I can’t allow a vampire to just walk away like that. It goes against everything I have ever believed, everything I have ever known, and my mother…I won’t think about that.\'

Erica dressed quickly into the clothes from the day before. She attached her daggers to her thighs and her sword to her back. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of her face. She looked back at the closed door to the private lab.

Erica sighed and felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She understood now, he regretted last night. Erica closed her eyes against the tears and took a deep breath. It was inevitable. She knew that it was when she came to see Dumbledore and knew that Severus was with him. She knew her feelings would be hurt, her heart broken again.

\'And still I came…what was I thinking?\'

“Severus!” someone yelled at the front door while banging on it. Erica looked up at the door in surprise. Snape exited from the private lab and rushed over to the door. He opened it quickly.

“Damn Lupin what do you want?” Snape said angrily. Lupin walked into the room and told Snape to shut the door. When the door was properly shut, warded, and had a silencing charm put up did Lupin speak again.

“The Order requests that you stay out of the fight Erica,” Lupin said. Erica’s eyes narrowed and Snape raised his eyebrow.

“We think that it would be better for you to remain out of the fight. It is too dangerous for you to be involved in the battle. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, now would we?”

“That depends…by ‘we’ do you mean you?” Erica asked placing her right hand on her hip. Lupin’s eyes widened slightly, but he shook his head.

“No, this order came directly from Dumbledore himself. You are to stay in my quarters until…”

“Why?” Erica said. Snape raised his eyebrow at this little display.

“We just think that it would be safer for you to stay away from the battle. Besides I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Now we are getting somewhere. Get it through you thick skull, I am your friend, nothing more. If Dumbledore really issued this order, then I want to hear him say it for himself.”

Erica walked around the couch and started for the door. Lupin turned quickly and grabbed her arm.

“No, the Headmaster doesn’t want to be interrupted,” Lupin said in a desperate voice. Erica turned to him and grabbed him by the throat.

“What the hell are you trying to pull Remus? Didn’t we talk about this the other night?”

Lupin nodded slightly. Erica nodded as well. “That’s what I thought. Now what is the real reason you don’t want me to fight? Say it so that Severus can hear you,” Erica said releasing him.

Lupin fell to the floor gasping. “I…don’t want…you to…fight, because…because I…I love you.”

Erica nodded and knelt down to the floor by Lupin. “I understand that you care a great deal for me, and I love you too, but as one of my dearest friends. I want you to understand that. I have to fight; there is someone who has to pay for their sins against me. It is a personal issue, so don’t ask, but I have to fight. Do you understand?”

Lupin nodded and Erica stood and offered her hand to help him up. Lupin allowed her help and stood. He looked into her eyes and smiled slightly.

“You’ve changed Erica, and not just because you became a vampire. You’re different now.”

Erica nodded. “We all change over time. It was just forced upon me.”

Lupin pulled Erica into a hug before turning to Snape. “Sorry about this intrusion. I’ll see you all later.”

Lupin let himself out. Snape stood there staring at Erica with questioning eyes. Erica sighed and walked back to the other side of the couch and began to pull on her boots.

“Who has to pay?” Snape asked. Erica paused in her actions and her eyes widened. “And for what reason?”

The memories of pain and suffering flooded back into her mind. She closed her eyes against the pain before responding.

“As I told Lupin, it’s personal. Neither you nor he needs to be involved in my personal battles.”

Snape stalked over to the couch and stood in front of her. She ignored him as she laced up her boot quickly. As soon as she finished, Snape grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up against him and stared down at her with piercing black eyes.

“Who has to pay Erica?”

Erica looked at him defiantly. “What do you want so badly? Worried that it’s you?”

Snape’s eyes widened slightly as Erica looked at him angrily. “I told you it was none of your business Professor, so please release me.”

“Back to pleasantries Erica? I don’t have that luxury, so you will address me as you always have.”

“What the fuck is your problem anyway? This is my problem to solve and I will solve it my way…with that bastard’s death.”

“Who is it Erica?” Snape said again shaking her violently.

In a flash Erica grabbed one of her daggers and had it at Snape’s crotch. He just glared at her.

“It is none of your business Severus, now release me. I would hate it if I had to take your manhood as it is an impressive piece of equipment.”

Snape released her gently, but didn’t move away from her.

“Why won’t you tell me Erica?” Snape asked kindly. Erica just glared daggers at him for several minutes before replacing the dagger and moving away from him.

“It is not for you to know. It is my problem and I will solve it my way. With one of our deaths.”

“You are willing to die for this cause?”

Erica turned to Snape. For a brief second he saw pain in her eyes, but just as soon as it was there it was gone, replaced with anger and violence.

“Yes,” she said before grabbing her cloak and walking out of the room. Snape just stood there confused and frustrated.

Erica walked to Room of Requirement using the cloak to keep the sun off her body, and entered quickly. It was empty of students.

There was a punching bag hanging up on the other side of the room. She removed her cloak and threw it on the floor.

She crossed the room and began punching the bag with extreme force. She was angry at everything.

She was mad at Lupin for trying to keep her out of the fight, mad at Lucius who put her in this situation, and she was mad at Severus for prying and for acting like last night meant nothing to him.

Tears were filling her eyes as she thought about the past, about her and Severus, about the conversation they had had about his mother.

“What an interesting class today. I didn’t think there were so many misconceptions about vampires,” Erica said slinging her book bag over her shoulder. Snape was nodding, but he looked upset.

“Severus, what’s wrong?” Erica said touching his arm kindly. Snape turned and looked at her with sadness in his eyes.

“My mother…was killed by vampires,” he said quietly. Erica’s eyes widened as she gasped.

“Oh, Severus. I’m sorry.” Snape raised his hand. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

Snape sighed. “She was outside working in the garden during the evening. She was picking some tomatoes for dinner that night.

Our gardener was sick so Mom volunteered to go out and do it. My father wasn’t really there. It was really just Mom and me. They found her outside and killed her. I was in the house at the time and saw the whole thing.”

Snape’s hands closed into fists and he tensed up. “I wanted to help her, but my father held me back. He said that is was something that needed to be done. I was only seven at the time and didn’t understand what he meant. Mom was kind to me and she loved me. It wasn’t until a year later that I understood why Mom had died. My father hired some vampires to kill her because he wanted to marry his mistress. Valerie is nothing like my mother. She treats me like I’m a burden. Sometimes I wish that my father had just let me go and I had died too.”

Erica pulled Snape into a hug right there in the hall. She didn’t care who saw, she needed to hug him right then. She was sad for him, but she didn’t pity him. She knew how Snape hated pity. She was so sad that he wanted to die.

“I’m glad that you didn’t die, and I’m sure your mother is glad that you are still alive, and that you still remember her,” Erica whispered in his ear. He relaxed and returned her embrace. It was a shock to see a Gryffindor and a Slytherin hugging in the hallways, but Erica and Severus didn’t care.

Erica fell to the ground exhausted, physically and mentally. A few hours had passed and she was sure that Voldemort’s armies were getting closer.

She placed her cloak back on and headed for the Great Hall. Everyone was gathered in there. Erica instantly found Harry and could sense her nervousness. She approached him cautiously.

“Harry?” she said when she was nearer to him. Harry turned to her and sighed. “I’m worried,” he said.

Erica smiled and sat next to him at the table. “Do you want to hear about your father and mother Harry? I know lots of stories.”

Harry’s eyes instantly filled with slight joy. He smiled slightly and nodded. Erica started telling stories to Harry about his father’s crazy school days.

Snape was down in the dungeons. He had done nothing for the few hours Erica had been gone except think. He thought about the night before and old school days, but most of all he thought about how she had changed and who was this mysterious “business” she had to attend to during the battle. Who was it she had to kill?

Snape sighed and took another sip of fire whiskey. He decided that one glass would be fine for this occasion. He was sitting in one of the green armchairs listening the fire crackle. He lifted his sleeve on his left arm and looked at the Dark Mark marring his skin.

He sighed again. Even with his defeat, I will still have this reminder of my mistakes.

Snape shook his head and closed his eyes. He remembered why he took the Dark Mark, and why he was here now, waiting at the edge of a battle he can’t escape. It was all because of her, of Erica.

-----

Snape sat in the booth at the small ice cream shop in Diagon Alley. He was drinking a glass of butterbeer looking from the glass to the door. Patience was never something Snape was good at, but he was being patient for her.

Erica had become one of his best friends and he loved her more than anything. He couldn’t live without her. His hand slipped into his pocket, where it found the small box with a ring that had been passed down through the generations of his family. He was going to ask her to marry him.

He knew she would say yes. He just couldn’t wait to see the look on her face. The way her eyes would glow with happiness and tears would stream down her face. Her smile would be so bright and cheerful. He would take her in his arms and kiss her for the first time. He loved her and he knew she loved him. They belonged together.

But the minutes drifted into hours and before Snape knew it they were asking him to leave. They were closing.

Snape paid his tab and walked out onto the quiet street of Diagon Alley. He started walking to the apparition point. Soon a second set of footsteps was next to him. He looked up and noticed Lucius Malfoy walking next to him.

“What do you want Lucius?” Snape said in a cold voice. Lucius smiled and looked at Snape.

“I’ve done it,” he said proudly. There was no need to explain, Snape understood. Lucius had joined the Deatheaters.

“Are you going to join?” Lucius asked hopefully. Snape felt the box in his pocket and felt the pain in his chest well up at the thought of being rejected. It was obvious that she didn’t want him, so he wasn’t going to dwell on it anymore.

“Of course I am,” Snape said firmly. “I am going to do it.”

----

Snape ran his finger over the Dark Mark and sighed again. He finished off his glass of fire whiskey and stood. Looking at the clock he noticed it was almost six. If Erica’s hearing was anything like her fighting, then the armies were attacking soon.

Snape picked up his wand and walked out of his quarters. He reached the Great Hall in a number of minutes. He spotted Erica immediately. Several students listening to what she had to say intently surrounded her.

As he approached, Erica noticed him and told the kids she would finish the story later. She walked up to Snape and nodded a hello.

He returned the favor and the two of them headed up to the Head Table together silently.

Dumbledore watched them approach. Everyone was here and it was time to inform the students.

The doors to the Great Hall were shut and Dumbledore stood. The noise instantly stopped.

“Many of you are curious as to why I have called you here and why the house tables are bare. The answer to that question is simple. We are not going to eat tonight, and some of us may never eat again.”

There were several murmurs going around which ended when Dumbledore raised his hand.

“Tonight is a night when boys become men and girls become women. We are participating in a historical event. We knew this day was coming, but we were unaware of how soon. As many of you have noticed, there are only fifth years and higher here this evening. The reason for that being is that you are our army. Our only defense against what is coming here tonight. Voldemort is coming tonight.”

Gasps and screams were sounding throughout the Great Hall. Several students were terrified about the news Dumbledore had just delivered. No one was ready to die.

“I am sorry to push this onto you, but it was pushed onto me. We had hoped that this day would never come during your time here at Hogwarts, or that this battle would occur farther away. But the battle is here and the time is now. Be prepared for battle, and for death. I am sorry.”

With those last words Dumbledore sat down and sighed. The Great Hall was silent for several moments before there were panicked students screaming and calmer students trying to calm the panicking ones down.

Erica turned to Snape and suddenly felt the impending doom that was about to befall them. She knew this might be the last time she ever saw him alive.

“Severus?” she said softly. He turned to look at her. Erica felt the tears roll down her face as she looked into his black eyes, maybe for the last time.

“I just wanted to tell you that I love you,” she said so quietly she was sure that Snape hadn’t heard her. She started to look away from him, but he grabbed her chin with his hand and held her in place.

“I know,” he said. “I…”

Snape didn’t get any farther. The doors to the Great Hall opened and Deatheaters, along with vampires, trolls, and other creatures entered the room. Leading them dressed in red robes with a piercing grin on his face was Lord Voldemort himself.