If She Fell

If She Fell

Chapter 7: I Have Been Changed For Good



Disclaimer: I own nothing but bits and pieces of the plot. JK Rowling owns all the good bits.





Ginny sat at the small desk in the hospital wing, completing her overnight reports. She sighed as she thought back on the past few weeks. Since the delightful afternoon in Hogsmeade, she had spent much time with Remus, with each time proving how utterly right the former werewolf was for her. She also had several dinners with Harry, each one proving that he really wanted a stay at home wife and mother. Still, he persisted in asking her out and sending her flowers and Ginny did have a good time with him. With a wry grin, Ginny closed the logbook and stood up, stretching her muscles. She wanted to go to bed, but she promised Remus she would help with the Shrieking Shack. Thus far, the old house had been stabilized and the years of grime removed from the exterior and interior. Ginny couldn’t wait until she could work on the gardens and uncover the small pond and stream she knew was there. But for now, Remus wanted the house itself to be ready as soon as possible. He wanted his own space, not just rooms at Hogwarts. Ginny could understand.



“Hello Ginevra,” said a voice from the doorway.



Ginny turned around to see Albus Dumbledore smiling at her.



“Hello, Albus,” she replied with a smile. “What brings you here? You’re feeling all right, I hope…”



“Yes yes, I am feeling as chipper as the day. I was wondering if I might have a word with you regarding your internship.”



Ginny felt her cheeks burn as she tried to glean something from Albus’ eyes.



“Am I no longer needed, sir?”



Albus glanced at the nervous intern. “I received word from St. Mungo’s Training Department just this morning regarding the internships here at Hogwarts. It seems there was a bit of an error in your files.”



“Oh,” said Ginny, sitting down heavily.



“Yes, it appears that due to your education, your internship should have only been slated for one year, not two. One year internship, practical exam, provisional license, six months supervised practice, and then you get your full license. Of course, there’s the matter of your field experience during the war, which basically nullifies the need for six months supervised practice as you’ve done that… in spades, I might add. That said; I have a proposition for you. Lemon drop?”



Ginny shook her head, trying to follow the headmaster. Was he proposing a lemon drop for her? What was that? Was it some kind of euphemism?



“Lemon drop, sir?”



“Here,” he said, handing her one. “Lovely little sweets lemon drops are. Simply lovely.”



“Sir?” questioned Ginny.



“Ah yes, proposition. Poppy would like to retire shortly, as you know.”



“Yes, sir, she mentioned spending time on Ibiza…”



“Ah yes, Ibiza,” mused Albus, his eyes growing misty for a moment before he shook his head. “Anyway, with Poppy wishing to retire, I will have need of a head mediwitch here and you and Madame Granger-Snape are already working here as interns.”



“Hermione will do wonderfully,” stated Ginny. “She’ll never let you down.”



Albus popped another lemon drop into his mouth and looked at Ginny with a smile.



“I wasn’t talking about Hermione, though she would be wonderful,” said Albus. “I was wondering how you would feel about accepting the position, conditional upon your final exam of course, which will give you full licensure. You’re to skip the provisional license.”



Ginny stared at the headmaster, speechless.



“Madame Weasley?”



“But…Hermione…”



“Still has another year of internship. What do you say, Ginevra? Is this something that interests you or do you need to sleep on it?”



“No, sir, I accept. And I won’t let you down.”



Albus smiled as he turned to leave. “You’ve never let me down before. Your practical exam will be in August.”



“Yes sir,” said Ginny, smiling as Albus headed back to his office.



Ginny leaned back in the chair, a smile lighting up her face. Finally. She, little Ginevra Molly Weasley, was picked first for something. She would be the head mediwitch at Hogwarts. After all these years, she came first! She looked around the hospital wing, realizing that in another few months it would be HER hospital wing. She’d actually beaten Hermione at something.



At that thought, her face fell. Ginny had never realized that she was in competition with Hermione. She had always assumed that Hermione would end up head mediwitch and that she would end up underneath her brilliant friend.



“Why the pensive face, Gin?”



Ginny straightened up to find herself looking into the eyes of her best friend and fellow intern.



“I’d heard Albus has made a decision on the new head mediwitch,” continued Hermione, her demeanor professional and steady.



“Um, well… yes,” replied Ginny, stammering.



Hermione looked at Ginny seriously for a few seconds longer until she was unable to hold back the broad smile that overtook her face. “Oh my gods, Ginny, you’re going to be head mediwitch when Poppy retires! Do you have ANY idea how prestigious that is? Of course, you have to complete and score high on your practicals, which means studying hard… but Severus and I can help you with that, as will Poppy no doubt. Just remember, when you’re the boss, don’t give me all the horrid shifts, there’s still a large bit of research I still want to do and I do have a husband.”



“You’re not… angry that Albus selected me?”



“Of course not!” said Hermione. “Why on earth would I be angry? You went to school and apprenticed and everything to become a mediwitch. I studied potions and decided that mediwizardry would help with my research and give me a steady position near Severus where I could also work on my research. It would have wonderful to have been offered the head position and yes, had I been offered it, I would have accepted it. But I wasn’t. You were. And Ginny, I am so proud of you and so happy for you.”



Ginny grinned. “I’m so glad, Hermione. I was a little worried.”



“Well, you needn’t have been,” said Hermione. “Now, off with you. You don’t have another shift for 48 hours. Have you plans?”



Ginny picked up the knitting she had worked on overnight and signed off on the logbook. “I’m going to help Remus work on the interiors of the Shrieking Shack, then I’m supposed to meet Harry for dinner tonight.”



“Still juggling the boys?” asked Hermione, perusing the charts of the few students in the hospital wing.



“I think I need to make up my mind,” said Ginny, leaning against the doorframe.



“And?”



“We’ll have to see how it goes today, I guess. See how they respond to my news or something. I honestly don’t know, Hermione. What would you do?”



“Not a fair question. What I want and what you want are two very different things. I left Harry, remember.”



Ginny sighed. “You’re right. Well, I have to meet Remus, so I guess I’ll touch base with you later.”



“Have fun,” said Hermione, looking at Ginny in a sympathetic manner.



Ginny left the hospital wing and picked up her cloak from her quarters. Even though it was now approaching spring, there was still a bit of a chill in the air. She decided to walk to Remus’ house rather than apparate. She needed the time to think. Ginny knew how she felt about Remus. With him, she felt carefree and full of life. They had fun together. She couldn’t remember ever laughing as much with anyone as she did with Remus. She also felt secure. He was content in his position at Hogwarts. He no longer lacked for money; taking in a nice salary from the school as well as the reparation money he received from the Ministry due to his “prisoner of war” status. The time he spent as a captive of Death Eaters and the time he spent with no voice and no memory entitled him to a rather large amount of money, more than enough to purchase and refurbish the Shrieking Shack. Ginny’s times with Harry, on the other hand, were often tense. She wasn’t certain how to act with Harry. She had loved him for so long, since she was a little girl, and it was difficult to realize that, throughout the years, her perception of Harry had changed. Harry himself had changed.



“Knut for your thoughts?” a voice broke into her thoughts.



Ginny looked around her, realizing that she had already arrived at the former Shrieking Shack and was standing on the rambling veranda, Remus looking at her with a bemused expression.



“I would think that my thoughts would be worth at least a Galleon,” she said to Remus, “considering that should I pass my practical exams in August, I shall be the next Hogwarts head mediwitch.”



Remus startled the witch by picking her up and twirling her around, kissing her soundly. Ginny’s giggles turned to whimpers of pleasure as they deepened their kiss. When they parted, Ginny was breathless.



“Wow,” she said simply.



“Congratulations,” smiled Remus. “Should we celebrate tonight?”



“I’m supposed to meet Harry,” replied Ginny, apologetically, “I promised.”



“And of course, you can’t break your promise,” pouted Remus.



“I wouldn’t be the Ginny you know and love if I broke my promises, would I?” Ginny felt her face flush when she realized what she had said.



Remus shook his head slowly. “No,” he stated slowly, “you wouldn’t be the Ginny I know and love if you did. And I do, you know.”



“Do what?”



“Love you.”



“You do?”



“Very much,” he replied, taking her hand and pulling her closer to him, “Ginny, I wasn’t sure how to tell you this. I’ve made mistakes where you were concerned. I didn’t trust you to have grown up. The fact is, you did. You just did it when I wasn’t looking. Now that I’ve realized that, I can’t see you as anything other than the brilliant and beautiful woman you are. You are everything to me. I look forward to spending time in your company and when I’m not with you, there’s something missing.”



Remus took a step back and measured Ginny’s reaction to his words. He sat down on the veranda railing and smiled at the stunned young witch in front of him.



“I love you, Ginevra Weasley. And I am so proud of you for all you’ve accomplished.”



Ginny stared at Remus before slowly backing down the steps of the Shrieking Shack. She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Giving Remus one more glance, she apparated from the house, leaving him alone and confused.



* * * * * * * * * *



Ginny walked into the London restaurant, trepidation written all over her face. She was not looking forward to this dinner. The mediwitch had spent the entire day thinking about what it was she wanted. For the first time in a long time, she thought about what SHE wanted, not about what was best for anyone else, what would be easiest, or what would please someone else. Ginny took the day to be selfish and concentrate on her own needs. She spied Harry sitting at the table and drew a deep breath before approaching him.



“Hello, Harry,” she said, thanking him as he pulled out her chair for her.



“You look lovely,” he replied, kissing her cheek before sitting back down and pouring her a glass of wine. “How was your day?”



Ginny picked up the wine glass, swirled it around and inhaled deeply. It was a fragrant Sauvignon Blanc. “Nobile?” she asked.



Harry nodded and showed her the label on the magically chilling bottle. “Yes, Nobile from New Zealand. Good vintage.”



Ginny sipped her wine and smiled. “I simply love this wine.”



“So, you were about to tell me about your day.”



“Ah, right,” replied Ginny, sitting back in her chair as the waiter placed a small bowl of bread and olive oil on the table. “It was a good day. I was asked if I would take over for Poppy when she retired. It seems that there was a miscalculation with the length of my internship and my credits from the war. Provided I pass my practical exams, I will be taking over for Poppy at the beginning of the next school term.”



Harry looked surprise, a look that did not go unnoticed by Ginny. “What about Hermione?” he asked.



“She still has a year to go on her internship, and besides, I was the one offered the position.”



“Oh, OK. Hermione has another year to go and Poppy would like to retire as soon as possible,” nodded Harry, “I suppose she’ll then take over running things and that will free you up to maybe settle down.”



Ginny stared at him in amazement. “No, Harry, I will be running the hospital wing. It will be my career.”



“Right,” said Harry, “Until Hermione’s fully qualified.”



“Wrong. I will be running the hospital wing as I will be fully qualified. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”



“It’s just… Hermione is so brilliant and I was hoping you would be ready to perhaps settle in to the idea of being married and having children.”



“And I’m not ‘brilliant’? I’m meant to give up my career and have children? Am I a brood mare?”



“You are brilliant, in your own way. But Hermione…”



Ginny looked at Harry, her fingers gripping the stem of her wineglass. And to think she thought this evening would be difficult. Each syllable out of Harry Potter’s mouth made her evening easier.



“Are you done putting your foot in your mouth, Harry?” asked Ginny calmly. “I believe Severus might have a potion to take care of that if you need some assistance.” She sipped her wine and waved off the hovering waiter. “Or I could just make things a lot easier for you.”



“What do you mean?”



“I can’t do this anymore, Harry. This is completely not right.”



Harry looked confused as he pushed his hair out of his eyes. “What’s not right?”



“This,” answered Ginny, gesturing to the table, “being here with you. We want different things. You can’t seem to wrap your mind around the fact that I was asked to do something over Hermione. I would always be second best to her in your eyes. Even if I gave you everything you dreamed of; the impeccably clean house, the children, the home cooked meals when you got home from Quidditch… even if I was the adoring wife in the stands during every match… I would NEVER compare to Hermione, even though she was unable to give you those things, either. I can’t be second best. I won’t be second best. I come first.”



“But Gin…”



“No, Harry. No ‘but Gin.’ I came here tonight to end things with you. I’ve fallen in love with someone else and he loves me too. He loves me for ME. He loves me for being Ginny Weasley. And he’s proud of my accomplishment. When I told him, he congratulated me. I should be celebrating with HIM. You still haven’t gotten over the fact that Albus chose me over Hermione.”



Ginny stood up and looked down at Harry. “I hope you find what you want. It’s not a ridiculous thing to want. I just can’t give it to you. There’s someone out there who can. I just know it. And I hope you find her.” Ginny leaned over and kissed Harry’s cheek gently. “Good bye, Harry, and good luck.”



“Goodbye, Ginny,” whispered Harry as Ginny turned and walked to the door, apparating out of sight.



A few moments later, Ginny stood at the bottom of the small hillock housing the former Shrieking Shack. She looked up at the now beautiful and stately home. She smiled as she noticed the color of the house. It had been white this morning, but now, even in the pale moonlight, she could tell that the exterior was the exact shade of yellow as a snow lily. She noticed the light in the window of what was the small study on the first floor. Drawing a deep breath, she walked up the path to her destiny.