Forbidden Feelings

Chapter Seven

“Are you sure this is what you want, Hermione?”

Professor Lupin was looking at her intensely as if by sheer will he could change her mind. They were in his office standing in front of the pensieve. “I just want you to realize that if you do this there will be no going back.”

She was almost undone by his warning. He seemed sincerely worried about her. Was this something she would later wish she had left unknown? She shook her head at him, pushing away any wavering thoughts.

“I have to know.” She spoke decisively. It was the only choice she could make.

“I understand, really.” He smiled sadly. “I just wish you would trust me. All I want is to protect you.”

“Protect me?” she asked incredulously. “Is that what you call it? Are you sure you aren’t trying to protect yourself?”

She could tell by the way he cringed that she had hit a nerve.

“Hermione…”

He reached out to touch her but she backed away. “No, Professor. Your protection led me straight to Lucius, remember?” She pushed those dangerous thoughts away. “I can protect myself.”

Professor Lupin nodded his head. “Alright, then. Let’s get this done.” Withdrawing his wand he pulled several silvery strands from his temple and deposited them into the large basin before them. Hermione could almost make out shapes in the swirling liquid.

She had never actually experienced using a pensieve, although she had read about them and of course heard quite a bit about them from Harry. She stepped forward and placed her face into the pensieve. She immediately felt herself falling and moments later she was pulling herself off of the floor.

Hermione found herself in a darkened room that looked remarkably like the room she had just been in. In fact, she soon realized, it was the same room. She wasn’t sure what she expected but it was not this…standing in

Professor Lupin’s office. It was then that she noticed her professor was sitting at his desk. He was bent over reading the parchment in his hand, a curious smile on his face. It was such an unguarded moment that she felt guilty for watching, which was not helped by the sudden appearance of the man beside her. The real Lupin was now in the memory with her.

She wondered why they were watching this memory when she wasn’t even there. She gave Lupin a questioning look before walking over to the other man. She was curious to see what he was looking at so fondly. He had a quill in his hand and it appeared that he was grading papers. That made no sense though…

As she grew closer she had the urge to reach out and touch the professor. Ever cognizant of the real man beside her she resisted and instead she moved to get a better look over Lupin’s shoulder. Strange there was something familiar about the parchment he was holding. She leaned in closer…

A peck at the window startled her as well as her professor. He gave a small chuckle and went to the window. One of the school owls waited patiently to deliver its message. He rewarded the bird and it few happily away.

The smile on his face quickly vanished as he read the note. Hermione was just able to make out her signature as the scene changed.

Everything was a blur and when it cleared she was in a dusty stairway. Her professor was ahead of her, taking the steps two at a time. She ignored the real Lupin, behind her as she followed his memory self as quickly as she could. The dank smell permeated the air and it reminded her of something…but now was not the time to get caught up in her own memories.

The door was open at the top of the stairs and that was when she realized they were in the Shrieking Shack.

“Hermione, are you…”

He wasn’t talking to her…or rather he was talking to the memory of her…

It was disconcerting to hear herself answer him back.

Did her voice really sound like that?

Then the meaning of her words hit her.

“Professor, it’s a trap!”

The door slammed shut but Hermione, almost without realizing it, drifted through the door and into the room.

Then she saw herself standing there beside the bed, looking anxiously at her professor. It was strange how the memory Hermione looked prettier than her. Was this how he saw her or was her mind just playing tricks on her?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the other wizard in the room.

“Professor Lupin. Welcome, I was so hoping you would join us.”

Hermione was not surprised at all to see Lucius Malfoy smiling triumphantly at them.

The men exchanged words back and forth and she took the opportunity to walk around them. She was amazed at how real it all looked. She could smell the odor of the cramped dusty room. The other Professor Lupin stayed back. Every once in a while she caught him looking at her with a mixture of sadness and trepidation. He knew what was coming…

“Because if you do not, Lupin, I will kill her.”

Hermione looked back at Malfoy in surprise. He was pointing his wand at the memory of her but looking at Professor Lupin.

She needed to pay better attention or she was going to miss something important. She glanced back at the real Lupin but his face was unreadable.

“If you harm her…”

“Your wand. Or do you doubt I would kill the Mudblood?”

She watched Lupin hand his wand over to the older wizard. She could tell he was furious and realized he was barely able to maintain control. It must be close to a full moon.

“Whatever this is, it is between us, Malfoy. It does not concern the girl. Let her go.”

As she listened to Malfoy’s taunting response she was touched by Lupin’s protectiveness. In spite of what had happened, she could almost believe he really cared about her.

“…Dumbledore’s Order is a thorn in the Dark Lord’s side. Professor Lupin you will tell me what I need to know to destroy it.”

Hermione looked back quickly at the real Lupin. He was not looking at her but watching the scene before them. Could this really be about the Order, she wondered?

Strange that it had not crossed her mind.

Then Lupin suggested Malfoy use Veritaserum on him and Hermione knew it was a trick. She was not surprised that Malfoy also saw through it. She was more taken aback by Lupin’s statement that he could not give him any information…even if Malfoy killed her.

But she soon realized Malfoy had no intention of killing her…somehow that was not as comforting as it should have been.

“That would be too easy for you. You would just blame it on me. I want you to blame yourself, Lupin, for whatever happens to her.”

Hermione suddenly had a sick feeling in her stomach.

What was Malfoy doing? She was more confused than ever.

“You see Lupin, Miss Granger does not have the blessing of lycanthropy.”

Suddenly, Hermione did not want to know what happened next. All this time she assumed Lupin was resistant because he didn’t want her to find out what he had done but what if in actuality he was trying to protect her from finding out what she had done?

Had she given away Order secrets? She didn’t know that much but it was enough to hurt the Order. Was that why he Obliviated her? She didn’t really want to know anymore. Still she couldn’t ask him to stop and let her out.

However all her concerns were forgotten by Malfoy’s next words.

“Miss Granger, Please tell me about your most humiliating experience.”

Now she was really confused as she watched her memory self, obviously on the truth potion, relay the memory of that embarrassing day when Draco caused her teeth to grow. Hermione felt the humiliation all over again as she watched the same reaction in her memory self.

“Miss Granger, do you masturbate?”

She gasped in shock at his question. No one seemed to notice, not even the other real person in the room.

Her face flushed red with humiliation as she watched herself answer the question truthfully.

Hermione had a dawning of understanding as Malfoy continued. He was there to torment…not her but Lupin. He wanted to break the werewolf. She was just his instrument of torture.

As she watched in growing horror, Malfoy flicked his wand and the memory Hermione’s hands were bound over her head. How far would Malfoy take this to get his revenge or what ever it was? But she already had the answer to that. She already knew what happened later. The image of Lupin on his knees before the older wizard was seared into her mind.

She watched the scene play before her and wondered what the man next to her was thinking. She dared not look over at him as she listened to her memory talk about her attraction to her professor. Of course this was not the first time he had heard this.

“He is on top of me, thrusting inside of me over and over. Suddenly the full moon appears and he begins to change…”

Her deepest, darkest fantasies, out there for everyone to hear. She understood now why she wanted to be Obliviated!

“…suddenly he turns me over and repeatedly plunges fiercely into me.”

The last few days flashed before her. Lupin had treated her differently, given her strange looks. No wonder!

What must he think of her?

“Oh, Hermione. It would not…”

She continued to watch in humiliation as the scene unfolded. As she poured out her heart to him, he explained why it would never work.

Malfoy looked on gleefully. The bastard!

Or as her memory elaborated…Fucking Bastard.

Suddenly she just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible so she could go somewhere and die a quiet, mortifying death. Surely it would be over soon…

“I want you to touch my breasts…”

Hermione really looked at them all then. She had been so embarrassed she was not really looking. But when she did it took her breath away.

Her memory was getting aroused by her own confession. Her hands were bound over her head causing her shirt to ride up. Her nipples showed through her blouse. She looked at her professor, who was obviously trying not to become excited. He was fighting the temptation but she could see the need, the hunger on his face. He wanted her. Those feelings were mirrored, although better controlled, on Malfoy’s face. The only difference was that he was not looking at her but instead he was looking at Professor Lupin.

That in itself was erotic.

And so when Professor Lupin refused to touch her, Malfoy announced he would do it himself. Hermione realized she did indeed want Lucius Malfoy to touch her.

Not that she would feel it. She could watch but that was all. Those memories were taken from her but of course she still had the memories of Lucius in the empty classroom as he caressed her.

Hermione found she could not look away. If the real Lupin noticed he did not speak a word.

“Lucius, touch me,”

Lucius was standing behind Hermione as his hand slowly reached up to touch her breast. Her head was thrown back in anticipation of his touch. His hand slipped into her bra and she moaned in response.

Hermione could see the outline of Lucius’ hand as it stroked her breast. If she had been alone she might have touched herself then, the urge was so strong, but with the other Lupin beside her she dared not.

Lucius unbuttoned her shirt and she noticed the memory Lupin could not turn away. The older wizard then continued his exploration of Hermione, all the while watching Lupin’s reaction. His hands moved up her thighs and under her skirt. He pulled the garment up so Lupin could see his hand stroking her over her panties.

The real Hermione remembered exactly what that felt like and she relived the moment as she watched her memory self get ravished.

Who knew Lucius Malfoy could cause this reaction in her?

Or that this would also cause a certain reaction in Lupin, which Malfoy, always helpful, pointed out? The werewolf had an erection and Hermione found she couldn’t take her eyes off of the bulge in his trousers.

“Is this what you want professor?” His fingers slipped under the silk panties to stroke her center and the real Hermione was shaking with a need to feel his hands on her again.

It was erotic watching herself move against Lucius Malfoy as his fingers explored her. Her shirt was open exposing the lacy bra that barely covered her breasts. One end of her skirt pulled up to show off Lucius’ explorations as he slipped a finger inside her. Lupin’s face was no longer showing any signs of self control and he suddenly reached down and tore her panties off of her body.

The real Hermione was shocked as he fell to his knees in front of her memory self. His face was inches from her and Hermione did not know how much more she could take. She watched as Remus grabbed her thighs and pulled her toward him. As his tongue licked at her, the real Hermione imagined what it would actually feel like. She wanted to grab a hold of his hair and pull him closer, feeling the stubble of his facial hair as is rubbed up against her sensitive nub.

Lucius dipped his finger into her once more and then offer it to the hungry wizard. Remus sucked on his finger causing Lucius to moan.

Hermione looked back then at the real Lupin who up until this point was fairly quiet. She could see he was breathing hard and a quick look down told her that he too was affected.

He avoided looking at her and she glanced back at the scene before them. The three in the memory were working themselves into a rhythm. Both men using their fingers and tongues to bring her to climax.

“Well done Professor.”

Hermione watched as Lupin, no longer able to control his anger and frustration, tackled the other wizard, knocking him to the ground.

“If you ever touch her again I will kill you.”

“You didn’t seem to mind a minute ago.”

Hermione had to admit that Malfoy had a point.

“I am not fucking kidding, Lucius. This ends now.”

“I have no further reason to touch her, Remus. I’ve gained my objective.”

But it had continued on…the real Hermione knew this first hand.

“This was never about the Order, was it Malfoy?”

And as she listened to Lucius Malfoy’s explanation she thought they were really not that far apart in what they were longing for. No wonder she was unable to resist him.

Then Lucius unexpectedly grabbed the werewolf and kissed him passionately. Both Hermione’s watched in awe as Lucius reached down to squeeze Lupin’s erection. He then threw the werewolf from him.

After Malfoy left the room, the memory Hermione crumpled to the floor. Lupin rushed to help her.

“I think we have seen enough.”

Hermione turned toward the real Lupin.

“I am not ready to go yet Professor. I want to see when you Obliviated me.”

She then turned back to watch as the memory Lupin held Hermione’s face in his hands and asked if she was alright.

“I need to Obliviate you, Hermione.”

“No, please do not do that professor.”

Hermione looked at the other Lupin then but he avoided her glance.

“I am sorry, we have to. We can never speak of this again.”

“Yes, Professor.”

She could feel herself getting angrier by the minute.

She had not wanted to lose the memory but he had insisted.

“I know you won’t remember this…but I do care for you, Hermione. A great deal in fact and it is more than just a physical attraction. I just wanted you to know that.“

Then as she watched he kissed her.

And Hermione felt herself falling again. Almost immediately she was back in Professor Lupin’s office and he was there beside her.

“Hermione…”

“No!” She held up her hand to silence him. “You do not get to talk now.”

“You’re angry,” he began again.

“Angry?” she shouted. “I honestly do not know how I am feeling at this moment…angry, frustrated, and utterly turned on. Every one of my senses is screaming at me, Professor and right now I don’t know which one to listen to. So, yeah at this moment I could slap you, curse you, kick you, or kiss you so hard you forget how to breathe.”

She took out her wand, daring him to make another sound.

Then she turned away quickly and left the room.