Tequila

Chapter 7

Severus set the empty glass down in front of him, having just taken his dose of truth serum. Harry had watched expectantly before downing his own serving. Now he would find out everything he needed to know. Now he would understand how Severus felt. Now he would be able to tell his teacher exactly what he was thinking without worrying about the consequences.

// Let the games begin //

Severus looked at the slight twinkle in Harry\'s eye and began, too late, to have second thoughts about this whole thing. He started to feel he may have been manipulated into something that could be slightly damaging. He wasn’t worried about what the boy would say. He knew Harry wanted him, and if he only wanted sex, then Severus was prepared for that. He was more worried about what his student might ask him about other things. Deciding on a little safe-guard:

\"Harry, because we are both under the influence of this truth potion, I think we should limit questions and responses to this relationship we are developing. I\'d also like to set up a little spell that means that anything we might learn during this conversation will not leave this room. Would that be suitable for you?\"

Harry smiled lightly.

// Well, the sorting hat may have wanted to put me into Slytherin for a while, but it made no mistakes with this one. //

\"Of course, Severus, whatever you think is best.\"

Severus leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes briefly. It would take several minutes for the serum to take effect, as he\'d explained to Harry before the beginning of this experiment. Fortunately, this concoction wasn\'t as invasive as veritaserum, which would make you spout truth about anything and everything you might possibly have lied about or concealed in your entire life. This potion would make you answer questions truthfully, but only as much truth as you wanted to give, i.e. you wouldn\'t start spouting off about some test you\'d cheated on if you were being asked about something else.

Harry watched Severus carefully, hoping the man was moral enough to not ask about Sirius\' escape in third year or if he\'d stolen the polyjuice potion ingredients in second year.

Severus saw the boy shift uncomfortably.

// He\'s starting to regret manipulating me. //

Though Severus would never take advantage of it, his Slytherin side was definitely amused by the odd fighting that seemed to take place in Harry. Trying to make the boy feel more at ease he said:

\"Would you like to ask the first question?\"

\"Yes!\" Harry answered immediately (and completely honestly).

Severus smirked.

// So the boy wants to know how I feel before he tells me how he feels. Lets hope he gets the response he wants. //

\"How do you want this to work Harry? Shall we ask a question each and continue taking turns? Or would you like to ask me all the questions you can think of then I\'ll ask you?\"

\"Ummm, whatever. Can I just ask you a question and we\'ll take it from there?

“Of course, Harry. I want us both to be comfortable during this conversation, so just ask whatever you want.”

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a few seconds. So many questions he wanted to ask. Which one first? He wanted to ask how Severus felt about him. Whatever happened, he wanted an answer to that before Severus asked the same question of him. He wanted the upper hand in that sense. But there was one question he desperately needed the answer to. Throwing caution to the wind, Harry blurted out:

“Are you and Draco Malfoy lovers?”

The look on Severus’ face went from amusement to surprise to shock to… his usual mask.

“Mr Potter, despite what may have occurred between ourselves, I’m not in the habit of seducing my students. Mr Malfoy and I are close. It was myself he came to when he decided not to take the dark mark, and I have taken care of him throughout the end of the war and since. I do not attempt to deny that I care a great deal for him, as much as I would any lost and abused child, but he is, and always will be just one of my favourite students.”

Harry was confused, and felt absolutely no problem, due to the truth potion, saying so.

“But, that morning…. When he arrived…. You seemed so scared, you held him so close….. I don’t get it sir.”

“Harry, have you never wondered why the Slytherins are so fiercely loyal to myself and each other? Many of them may have come from pureblood families, but few of them came here from happy homes. Slytherin house, to each of my students, is home and family that they have never had before. I’m strict with them, but I care for them. They come to me with their problems and their questions. They come to me with their worries and their confessions. I’m like a muggle priest, a councillor and a father to them. I do not say this to seem vain or show that I have more responsibility than other heads of house. I only say this because many of my students have no-one other than myself. Since the war, Draco has become one such student. When I find that he is being persecuted for the actions of his father, of course I react with anger. When I see him arrive in my rooms in the state he was in, of course I react with fear. Just because I show very little emotion or heart to yourself or the rest of the student body, do not think I have neither, because you will find, I hope, that I have both.”

Harry sat quietly through this speech, shame and disbelief coursing through him. Severus was right. He’d never tried to see the older man as anything more than a Professor and a bastard. Over the last few years, he’d seem him as a mentor and a teacher. And over the last few weeks as a sexy and fuckable man. Harry had never once tried to see him as a person.

A faint blush arose on Harry’s cheeks.

“I’m sorry Sir. You’re right. I’ve never really seen you as the kind of person who cared, and I’m deeply ashamed of myself for never trying. Particularly when I look back over the times you’ve helped me and saved my life. I’ll do better.”

Harry looked up through his eyelashes to regard his Professor.

“Don’t worry Mr Potter. I have never cared enough to show anyone other than my students, and a few select professors that I actually have a heart, so don’t berate yourself for never seeing it. Now, are you satisfied about my relationship with Mr Malfoy?”

Harry knew that because of the truth serum, Severus wasn’t lying. He also knew that while his head was convinced, his heart wasn’t quite as ready to believe. He tried to explain this to Severus.

“No, sir. I’m not entirely convinced of your relationship. I know that you cannot lie, but I guess I’m not quite ready emotionally to believe it. Don’t worry Severus. I know nothing is going on with you now, and I will believe it eventually.”

Severus sighed. It had been a long time since anyone other than Albus and Minerva had been told about the special relationship he had with the students of his house, and while he knew the spell would prevent anyone from finding out the truth, he felt a little emotionally vulnerable, having just explained it all to Harry.

“Now Harry, would you like to ask another question or are you prepared for me to ask one?”

Harry was relieved his Professor was being so kind bout this. Now he would be able to ask his questions, ask what he wanted to ask, and still have, he hoped, the slightly upper hand.

“I would like to ask another if I may?”

Severus motioned for him to continue.

“Professor, how do you feel about me?”

Harry, again felt blood rising to his face, and fear rising to his heart as he waited for the older man to answer his question. If the answer wasn’t to his satisfaction, Harry knew he’d run straight out of the room. He couldn’t bear to have Severus to tell him he was an ok fuck but would never feel anything for him, when Harry knew he was going to answer the same question much more seriously.

Severus watched Harry sitting on the edge of the chair, poised for flight. He only hope the answer he was going to give the young man was the one he wanted to hear.

“I’m not entirely sure how I feel about you Harry,” he said slowly. “I must admit you are a bit of an enigma to me. Over the past year or so, I thought I felt a tentative friendship build between us. I was glad of that.” He looked at Harry piercingly. “I also must admit that I find you very attractive, which I think, given our recent situations, would be hard to deny even if I wasn’t under the influence of a truth potion. I mostly want to explore our relationship Harry. I enjoyed your company while we were training together and I would like to see how that grows and changes. I like to think I may fall in love with you but I will not build your hopes up by saying that I definitely will. I just want you to know that this means more to me than just sex.”

Harry sighed with relief. Severus had said that with such sincerity that Harry felt his own uncertainties washing away.

“Severus, I’d like to ask you about one more thing before you start asking me your questions, if that’s ok? I don’t want you to feel like I’m hogging the truth stuff here.”

Severus chuckled quietly and again motioned for Harry to continue.

Harry blushed…

// Stop blushing for fuck sake //

“Do you remember the sex? The night of the party, when we woke up naked together…”

“Yes, Mr Potter, I know which night you are referring to.”

“Do you remember sir?”

“Bit’s and pieces, Harry. I can remember little bits of it.”

“Could you elaborate please, sir?”

Severus growled. He knew he’d have to answer he question. He just didn’t fucking want to.

“Mostly it’s just like flashbacks, an image here, a feeling there. Sometimes, I’m unsure what is real and what is the result of imagination.” Snape put his head in his hands, knowing that his hair effectively hid his face. “Fine, Mr Potter, if you want detail, I’ll give you details. I can remember giving you oral sex. I can remember you….sucking my nipples. I can remember you penetrating me, which I must say is very unusual for me as I tend to top….”

// Now why the FUCK did I say that???? //

“……I do not remember if I penetrated you. I can remember, quite clearly, in fact the only really clear memory I have from that night, you tracing your tongue over a certain scar I have on my hip. Beyond that I do not remember.”

Harry was blushing brightly. A slow blush that seemed to travel from his face, down his neck and all the way to his groin when his Potions master mentioned ‘the scar’.

“Than you sir, for telling me all that. I’m sure it was just as embarrassing for you as it was for me. Just one more thing, then I promise I will ask nothing more….”

// Go on then, // Severus thought, // it cant possibly be more uncomfortable than that. //

Again waving his hand for Harry to continue.

“Was I any good sir? Was I good in bed? Did you have an orgasm? Did I?”

// Oh, God, I was wrong. It’s all of a sudden got SOOOOOOOOO much more humiliating. //

Growling, “Yes Potter, you were good in bed, yes I had an orgasm, several actually if I remember correctly, yes, you also had several orgasms.”

// Goddamn my running mouth, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!! //

“Thank you sir. Please feel free to ask me anything you want.”

Severus stood up abruptly and made his way over to a small mahogany cabinet which stood behind his desk. Wandlessly removing the small locking charm he removed a bottle of firewhiskey and 2 glasses. Wordlessly he walked back to the table and placed the items in front of him.

“Now, if it had been veritaserum in our system I would recommend no drinking, but as this is a lighter version, I believe we may be able to have one or two drinks with little effect on the potion. I also believe this may be a little bit easier if we were both pleasantly pissed.”

Harry’s eyes widened.

“Being, however, that this is a school night I feel one drink might be ok. I also want you to know that again, even as I don’t seduce my students, I don’t habitually offer them alcohol either. It just seems to be slightly different for you Harry. Well the rules never really did apply to you did they? Would you like a drink?”

Harry nodded dumbly, accepting the drink. That was the first time Severus had ever said anything about Harry and the rules which was not meant in a snide and sarcastic way.

// God, this detention is weird!!!!!! //

Throwing back the shot of firewhiskey, Severus prepared to ask his first question.

“Harry, were you a virgin before that night with myself?”

Harry blushed. He didn’t want to admit to his professor that he had been before that night.

“Yes, Severus. I’ve had a several dates, and a few quick fumbles, but I must admit that you were my first truly sexual partner. And I cant remember it,” Harry sighed.

“Harry, you have no idea how sorry I am for that. I would never have hoped that you would have given me your virginity had you been in a more sober state of mind and I would never have taken it if I had been. I am quite sure you were saving yourself for someone special and I can only apologize for it not being everything you’d hoped.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that professor. I cant say I was waiting for it to be someone special when its always been just a bit of a burden to me. The whole world expects the-boy-who-lived to have plenty of shagging partners and I was more pissed off that that wasn’t the case. To be honest sir, if I had an orgasm then it was so much more than I ever expected it be, cause from what I’ve hard, the first time is never something to write home about.”

Severus laughed quietly. “I keep forgetting Mr Potter, exactly what it’s like to be a hormonal 17 year old. I do wish it had been more memorable for you.”

“So do I Severus. But only so that I could brag to Seamus about it.”

Both men started laughing, the tension in the room fizzling out at last. Severus poured himself another drink and held up the bottle to ask silently if Harry wished to join him.

“Yes, sir, I would like another drink, but as you pointed out, it’s a school night and I probably shouldn’t get drunk.”

“Very wise, Harry.”

“Do you have more questions?”

“Yes, Harry, only one or two more then I believe we should end our meeting.” Severus paused and finished his drink. “Harry, how do you feel about me?”

“Well sir, I want you. That’s pretty obvious. You make me feel quite….. alive I suppose is the word. And horny of course. Sir, I don’t want to be embarrassed, bur I’m going to be anyway so I’m just gonna tell you exactly what’s going through my head just now”

Severus nodded carefully.

“I want you sir. You’re the only person who has treated me exactly the same since I’ve known you. You’ve never believed in the boy-who-lived bullshit and for that I thank you. You’re also the only one who wanted me to defeat Voldemort for me instead of for the good of wizarding kind. I could fall in love with you, sir, quite easily, but for now the biggest thing I feel when I see you is need. I need you. Completely in a shagging-over-the-desk sense. The sound of your voice sends shivers up and down my spine and every time you look intensely at me, my cock springs to life. Yes sir, I care for you, a great deal, but if I’m completely honest I’m a 17 year old boy, who knows I’ve had the best shag of my life with you and would like to experience it again.” Harry looked intently at Severus. “It’s not just about sex for me sir, but I do want to remember what it was like with you. The only thing I don’t know is what happens now?”

Severus was not quite sure what to make of Harry’s speech. The boy admitted wanting him sexually. He also admitted caring for him deeply. Both admissions made Severus happy, but he was with Harry on this….

// What happens now? //

“Well Harry, I think, NOW we go our separate ways for a little while. I think we both need to think over and digest everything that was said here tonight. In a few days I think we should get together again and see if we can enjoy each others company without the use of alcohol and potions.” He smiled briefly. “I also think that we should keep this very much to ourselves, considering the student-teacher nature of our relationship. I would be more than willing to have you back in my presence under some guise, perhaps more detentions, or one-on-one tutoring. I also think we should take this very slowly, as I don’t want to break our tentative relationship by pushing things to fast. Would that be agreeable to you Harry?”

Harry grinned a very genuine, all-over-you-face grin and stood up.

“Yes, Severus, I would like that very much.”

He moved towards the door.

“Before you go Harry, I have one quick question I’d like to ask.”

“Shoot,” Harry said, turning back to Severus.

“Can I kiss you Harry?”

Severus stepped closer to the young man and looked deeply into his eyes, waiting for an answer. If it was the negative, Severus would immediately back away and allow his student to leave his office. On the slight nod, however Severus immediately closed the small space between them and gently folded the Gryffindor into his arms. Running one finger lightly down Harry’s cheek, he raised the boys face, tilting it up to an angle which suited them both. Leaning over slowly, he watched Harry’s eyes fall shut, and then pressed his lips over the other mans.

Harry’s lips were soft, unbelievably soft. His arms slid round the back of the young Gryffindors as he felt his partners hand bunch into his hair. Harry smelled of fresh air and sunshine and tasted lightly of firewhiskey. Running his tongue gently over Harry’s lower lip, he felt the boys mouth open in silent acquiescence, but chose to ignore the invitation to explore further and decided keep the kiss chaste.

Severus pulled back from Harry gently, looking deep into his eyes before folding him into a crushing hug.

“Oh….” Harry breathed. “That was perfect Severus, thank you.”

Severus kissed the top of the young mans head.

“I agree Harry, and I hope to have many more like it. I do believe though, for the moment, you should head to bed. We wouldn’t want you out passed curfew.”

Harry smiled gently and pulled out of the embrace. Lightly kissing Severus again on the lips, he exited the office without another word, only a longing look in Severus’ direction and a slight snort of pleasure.

Alone in his office again Severus poured himself another firewhiskey. It was going to be harder than he imagined to keep his hands off the boy. It was also going to be difficult to keep coming up with excuses to see Harry without his friends, the other students and particularly Dumbledore finding out about it. Severus snorted in amusement.

// Only a couple of months till he graduates. Then we can have some real fun! //






Please review cause I\'m not entirely sure this chapter turned out that good.
Cheers, Tallulahbell x

I just want to thank all the lovely people who have reviewed my story and particularly this last chapter as I\'m not sure it turned out how I wanted it to. This story is like my baby. I\'ve never really written fanfic before and while my other story has all the sex, it doesn\'t have the feelings so I\'m a bit insecure about how it\'s turning out. I know there are a lot of slipups in it but I\'m reluctant to change anything until it\'s competely finished. Anyway, cheers again and keep the reviews coming in, they make my day. T x