Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

A/N: Still unbeta'd, so apologies for the mistakes.

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Save Me From The Dark
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If you asked most people who was the taller between Sirius and Remus they would in all likelihood have answered Sirius without too much hesitation. It was an easy mistake to make and only the most observant of their friends could tell that in fact it was Remus who was the taller by a mere inch.

Sirius believed the mistaken assumption came from a lifetime of Remus constantly hiding himself from others and ensuring that he was invisible to the rest of the world. Unlike Sirius who’d been taught to walk straight and tall – or else – Remus had a bad habit of slouching and ducking his head. Sirius was doing his best to break him of this bad habit, but it was only on rare occasions that he succeeded.

One of those rare occasions was when they were dancing together.

“So, what do you think?” Sirius asked as the lively dance beat changed to a slow song, perfect for smooching along to.

Remus pulled Sirius into his arms and kissed him soundly on the lips. “It’s perfect!” he replied. And it was. The muggle club was one he’d never heard of, and he was curious as to how on earth Sirius had managed to find out about it. The dance floor was filled with couples, mostly men but with a fair few women and even a couple of mixed couples. Unlike the wizard pubs and clubs they usually frequented, this place wasn’t filled with people glaring at the two of them in disgust. Not that Remus cared what any of the strangers thought any more, but he knew that Sirius was still far from comfortable with the idea of being affectionate in public.

Remus scowled when he thought about the bastards who had attacked Sirius in their sixth year, and wished he had done far more to punish them than he had. He realised now that Sirius was probably never going to reach out and hold his hand as they were walking down Diagon Alley. Sirius would always be looking over his shoulder in case someone was watching them. He felt sad when he recalled the winter day in Hogsmeade, when Sirius had given him one of his gloves and they had walked back to Hogwarts hand in hand. It was such a little thing, and one he hadn’t appreciated at the time.

Now, in this muggle club that was barely a step up from being a dive, Sirius was holding him, dancing with him and kissing him in public.

For the first time in years, things were very close to being perfect.

If only the pressure from Sirius’s parents about producing an heir wasn’t starting to take its toll on the both of them, it might have been entirely perfect.

It was partly because of the pressure that Remus had seriously considered the idea of using the Polyjuice Potion to turn into a woman, if only for the length of time it would take to carry a baby. Sirius, however, had been completely opposed to the idea from the moment it had been suggested and had eventually managed to talk Remus out of the idea. Remus smiled at the memory of the night the previous week when Sirius had talked him out of the idea.

But things still weren’t as perfect between them as they would have liked them to be, and it was all due to the pressure from Walburga Black to find a way – any way – to continue the Black line.

“So, am I going to get lucky tonight?” asked Sirius with a smirk as he pulled Remus closer and began to move to the music.

“I don’t know,” Remus replied. “That guy who was hitting on you at the bar earlier seems to have moved on to another conquest.”

“Good,” Sirius whispered. “Because he doesn’t do anything for me”

Remus grinned as Sirius subtly moved his hips towards his own in order to demonstrate that on the other hand Remus certainly did a great deal for, or rather to, him.

The music soon changed again and a loud dance beat drowned out Sirius’s next words. He nodded to the bar and an empty booth and Remus nodded in reply.

A few minutes later and they had replenished their drinks and were closeted in one of the dimly lit booths at the back of the club.

“We should do this more often,” Sirius suggested in between planting kisses along Remus’s jaw line.

“We do this every single week,” Remus pointed out. “We need this to recover from the weekly dinners with your mother. Did you think she was acting strange last night?”

“When does she ever act anything else?” Sirius replied with a snort of laughter as he continued to kiss him. Remus shifted his head slightly so that the next kiss landed on his lips. He deepened the kiss and moaned as one of Sirius’s hands caressed his upper thigh, creeping ever further towards his already throbbing erection.

“So, am I getting lucky tonight?” Sirius asked again after they’d pulled apart.

“You’re ready to go home already?” Remus asked in surprise. “I thought you liked it here?”

“I love it here,” Sirius amended. “But, I don’t think you can wait until we get home.”

“My control is legendary,” Remus reminded him with a grin. “Surely you remember that?”

“I’m trying to forget it,” Sirius replied with a grimace. “But you’ll be coming on the dance floor if we keep this up.”

Remus felt himself flushing and as much as he hated to admit it, Sirius was probably right. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this aroused, at least outside of the privacy of their home.

“Come on,” Sirius said as stood up and pulled Remus to his feet.

“Where are we going?” Remus asked. “The exit is the other way.”

“Gents,” Sirius replied with a nod to the door ahead of them.

“I don’t need to go.”

“Crikey, you can be dense sometimes,” Sirius muttered as he pulled Remus through the door to the Gents and straight into one of the empty cubicles.

“Sirius, what are you doing?” Remus asked breathlessly as the other man deftly pulled down the zipper of his trousers.

“What does it look like?” Sirius replied with a roll of his eyes.

“But, we’re in the gents toilets.”

“So? I locked the door to the cubicle.”

“But, aren’t we kind of loud?” Remus whispered. “I don’t think Rom was exaggerating when he joked about that.”

“So are the couple at the other end of the row,” Sirius pointed out. It was then that Remus heard the sounds of someone moaning in pleasure coming from the other side of the room.

“The floor’s not exactly clean,” he commented, still doubtful as to whether this was a good idea or not. Then Sirius kissed him whilst simultaneously stroking him through his underpants and he forgot all about the dirty floor, the other couple and anyone else who might come upon them.

Some time later Remus realised that he was sitting, shamelessly exposed, on the floor of the cubicle, Sirius crushed alongside him. “They really should make these places bigger,” he muttered as he zipped himself back up and shifted slightly to give Sirius a little more room.

“Do you think you can walk yet?” Sirius asked with a grin that could only be described as proud.

“What about you?” Remus asked with a pointed nod to let Sirius know that he’d noticed his own discomfort.

“I’d rather wait until we get home,” Sirius replied as he pulled Remus into a one-armed hug. “Build up the anticipation.”

“You mean you want to make sure that you have a comfortable bed to fall back on instead of the cold and dirty tiles in here?” Remus teased.

“Hey! I’m on the floor too,” Sirius pointed out.

“And you’re fidgeting like mad.”

“So I happen to like my creature comforts, nothing wrong with that.”

“Are we going home then?” Remus asked as he stood up and pulled Sirius to his feet.

“Might as well,” Sirius replied. “Not like they’ve played any slow numbers for us to snog to for a while anyway. And I’m feeling kind of… er….”

“Drunk?” guessed Remus and Sirius nodded in response. He never could handle his alcohol that well. “Come on then.” He put his arm around Sirius’s waist and guided him back into the main club and towards the exit.

Outside, the weather had taken a turn for the worse and heavy rain was bouncing off the pavement. The street was almost deserted, but the few lingering muggles made it impossible for them to apparate to the parking lot where Sirius had left his bike. Instead they ran, hand in hand, through the rain, getting thoroughly drenched in the process.

“Tell me again why we left our wands with your bike?” Remus asked as they reached the undercover car park.

“We were clubbing as muggles tonight,” Sirius explained, not for the first time. “It’s not like anyone would be able to steal them. I’ve put every anti-theft jinx I know of on the bike; no one is going to get within twenty feet of it.

“Next time just remind me to do a water repelling charm before we leave the wands behind.”

“A little rain never hurt anyone,” Sirius cheerfully announced. “So, what did you think of the club?” he asked as he climbed onto the bike and tugged Remus towards him.

“It was great. But I think you’ve had far too much to drink tonight,” Remus replied as he leaned down to meet Sirius’s kiss.

“Define ‘too much’,” Sirius muttered.

“Too much for me to let you drive this bike home tonight,” Remus stated firmly as he pushed Sirius back on the seat and climbed on in front of him.

“Are you sure?” Sirius asked, his speech ever so slightly slurred. Remus had long since given up on trying to explain the differences in alcohol content between muggle and wizard beverages.

“I’ve steered us before,” Remus pointed out.

“Not since I installed the flying modifications,” Sirius pointed out.

“Well, at least while we’re in the air, they’ll be less chance of us crashing into anything,” Remus pointed out.

“Except when you land,” Sirius giggled as he wrapped his arms around Remus’s waist. “Hey, I’ve got a great idea!”

“No, Sirius,” Remus replied firmly as Sirius pressed himself against his back, hinting in a not very subtle manner the direction his thoughts had taken.

“Come on, Remus,” Sirius whispered as he shifted his position and rubbed up against him again.

“You can wait until we get home,” Remus insisted. “Besides, I thought you liked your comforts?”

“I do, but I like to live dangerously too.”

“And shacking up with a werewolf isn’t dangerous enough for you?”

“Nope!”

“Well tonight it’s going to have to be. You can wait until we get home.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Sirius asked as he nipped on Remus’s ear.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” Remus promised. “And if you want to make it home in one piece then you better put a few inches between us.”

“I’m holding you to that promise,” Sirius warned as he dutifully moved back slightly.

“Hands,” Remus ordered sternly.

“What about them?” Sirius asked innocently.

“You know what.”

“Better?” Sirius asked after raising his hands to Remus’s waist.

“Yes. Now just behave until we get home.”

“I will, I promise.”

“You better,” Remus replied as he started the engine and steered the bike skyward.

They’d gone only a few miles when Remus realised that something was wrong. They’d been travelling at a safe and steady height when the bike suddenly dipped down and dropped sharply for several feet. He struggled to pull the bike up and level it out again, although he eventually managed it.

“Sirius, I think there’s something wrong with the flying spells,” he called back to Sirius, raising his voice so that he’d be heard above the roar of the wind.

Sirius, who wasn’t so inebriated that he’d failed to notice the problem was already pulling himself forward so that he was sitting flush against Remus’s back. Then he took first one arm and then the other and leaned forward as far as he could to try to take over the steering from Remus. The bike tilted dangerously again and Sirius swore loudly as the two of them struggled to pull it back level again.

“I think we’d better land and drive home the muggle way,” Remus suggested. Sirius nodded even though he knew Remus couldn’t see him. He pointed down towards a deserted stretch of road and Remus turned to descend in that direction.

“Sirius!” Remus yelled as the ground rose up to meet them. “It’s not levelling up again. We’re going to crash.”

-o-xXx-o-

“…came out of nowhere…”

“…call an ambulance Shelly!”

“…it’s on the way…”

The voices drifted to Sirius through the sea of pain that had engulfed him when they’d crashed into the ground and he struggled to understand what was happening. “Remus?” he murmured.

“He’s awake!” a strange male voice anxiously called out to someone else. “Hold on,” the voice advised and he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. “Don’t try to move.”

“Remus?” he asked again. He tried to open his eyes but they seemed to be glued shut.

“That your friend?” the voice asked quietly.

“Remus?”

“He’s unconscious. But don’t worry, the ambulance will be here soon.”

“Ambulance?” Sirius repeated the strange word wondering what it meant. Remus would know; Remus had taken muggle studies in anticipation of the possibility of being forced to find work amongst the muggle society. Had he ever mentioned ambulance? Sirius couldn’t remember. “St Mungo’s,” he whispered.

“I don’t know what hospital’s the nearest,” the voice said. “I’m not from round here myself. The ambulance will be here soon. Just hold on.”

“St Mungo’s,” Sirius repeated. “Must be St Mungo’s.”

“There’s no St Mungo’s anywhere round here,” another voice, female this time, said.

Sirius tried to form the words to explain that they had to take them to St Mungo’s, but it was becoming harder and harder to form coherent thoughts, and try as he might he couldn’t seem to speak. They’ll transfer them to St Mungo’s he thought to himself. The wizards who infiltrated muggle hospitals and similar institutions would see their wands and get them transferred to St Mungo’s in no time.

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief before he remembered that they’d been out at a muggle club, in a muggle town, dressed in muggle clothes, carrying nothing that would accidentally expose their world. His wand, together with Remus’s, was still carefully hidden under the seat of the motorbike; the motorbike that had been smashed on the impact and wouldn’t be seen by any wizards at the muggle hospital.

Sirius’s last thought before blessed unconsciousness overtook him once more was that he hoped the wizard who oversaw all the patients who were admitted to whatever muggle hospital they were taken to recognised either himself or Remus by sight. It was the only chance they had.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius heard the voices around him as he regained consciousness. He dimly recalled the harsh sound of sirens and the feeling of being lifted into a muggle vehicle, but nothing after that. He had no idea where he was or why everything was so dark.

“Remus?” he whispered, hoping to hear the familiar voice close by.

“Nurse? He’s awake.” The voice was strange and female, definitely not Remus’s. Sirius frowned and turned his head towards the speaker. Why didn’t someone light the lamps?

“Why’s it so dark?” he asked with a frown at the raspy sound of his own voice. “Where’s Remus?”

“Nurse?” the speaker sounded worried.

“I’m here,” another voice replied in a brisk no nonsense tone. “I’m Nurse Kendall,” she stated from the opposite side of him to where the first voice had come from.

“Why don’t you turn the lamps on?” Sirius asked in a voice that still sounded croaky from lack of use.

“Can you tell us your name?” Nurse Kendall asked, ignoring his question.

“Sirius,” he whispered. “Sirius Black. Why’s it so dark?” He tried to sit up, but he couldn’t seem to gather the strength to move.

“Please don’t try to move. Lie still. Go fetch the doctor, Ellie.”

“Yes, nurse,” Ellie replied and Sirius heard her leaving the room.

“Why aren’t you answering my question?” Sirius snapped, regretting it instantly as he began coughing. “Why is it so dark?”

“It’s not dark, Mr Black,” the nurse replied quietly. “The doctor will be here in just a minute.”

“Then why can’t I see you?” Sirius asked. “Why can’t I see?” he whispered, panic stealing over him as realisation dawned.

-o-xXx-o-

“Blind?” Sirius repeated in a dull tone. “I can’t be blind. Just fix it will you?”

“This isn’t unheard of when someone has suffered severe head trauma like yourself,” the doctor explained. “Your sight could return in time.”

“I can’t be blind,” Sirius repeated. “And why won’t anyone tell me where Remus is?”

“Nurse Kendall is looking into the whereabouts of your friend,” the doctor explained. “You have to understand that without any forms of identification on you both, you were both logged into our records as John Doe and it will just take a little time to track down your friend.”

“Why should it take time?” Sirius yelled. “He was brought in with me. He has to be here somewhere. Don’t bother with looking at the paperwork, just go and look around the building!”

“Your friend was scheduled for transfer four days after he was admitted,” Nurse Kendall advised. Sirius hadn’t even heard her come back into the room.

“Four days after?” Sirius whispered. “But the full moon was two days after our… he can’t have been here for four days.”

“Our records show that he was brought in, underwent surgery several times during the first forty eight hours, and then after his condition had stabilised it was deemed safe enough for him to be transferred elsewhere.”

“To St Mungo’s?” Sirius asked without thinking.

“Is that a private hospital?” Nurse Kendall asked in confusion. “I’ve not heard of it before. That wasn’t where your friend was going to be taken though.”

“Are you telling me that Remus was here in this hospital on the night of the full moon and then transferred to some other muggle hospital?” Sirius asked impatiently.

“Well, I’m not sure when the full moon was, but he was here for four days following the accident and I don’t know what you mean by muggle.”

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but finally remembered where he was and whom he was talking to. Suddenly something the nurse had said registered in his still muddled mind. “You said he was going to be taken somewhere else?” he queried. “What do you mean going to be? Is he still here?”

“I’m sorry,” Nurse Kendall replied and Sirius could tell that she’d moved closer to him. She laid a compassionate hand on his arm, but he shook it off impatiently. Why was no one answering his questions?

“What’s happened to him?” whispered Sirius, panic returning, along with a feeling of horror that was creeping into his very bones. “Where is he? Where’s Remus?”

“I’m sorry,” Nurse Kendall repeated. “I’m afraid that there were complications whilst he was in the ambulance. The doctors did everything they could, but…”

“NO!” Sirius yelled the word to cut off the nurse before she could say the words that he dreaded, the words that he foolishly believed wouldn’t be true if he just didn’t hear them.

“Your friend passed away three days ago. I’m very sorry.”

-o-xXx-o-

“Sirius Black?”

Sirius turned towards the sound of the voice with a scowl and a nod.

“I’m Daisy Derwent,” the woman said and Sirius heard her move hurriedly towards him.

“Derwent as in related to the famous Dilys Derwent?” Sirius asked cautiously. After the first visit from the hospital psychiatrist he was being far more careful about what he was saying to the muggles.

“One of my ancestors,” Daisy replied. “I wanted to follow in her footsteps, but I’m a squib. So I opted for the muggle medical profession instead, and I help to get any wizards who wind up here transferred to St Mungo’s.”

“Not doing a very good job of it, are you?” Sirius snapped.

“There’s no need to take your temper out on me,” Daisy snapped back. “You come in from a motorbike accident, dressed as a muggle, with muggle injuries, no identification, and no wand to give anyone any sort of a clue as to what you really are. No one knew your name until you woke up this morning.”

“Sorry,” Sirius muttered. “It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe it is,” Daisy conceded. “I was on duty the night of the accident and I didn’t recognise you or your friend as wizards.”

“Do you know exactly what happened to my friend?” Sirius asked.

“I’m not sure,” Daisy replied. “I know he was pretty badly injured when he was brought in. He never woke up.”

“What happened the night of the full moon?” Sirius asked curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“Were you working on the night of the full moon?”

“Yes.”

“And did you see Remus that night?”

“I…” Daisy hesitated. “I don’t remember. I mean, I came into work. I remember that. But everything else is a bit of a blur. I don’t remember…”

Sirius nodded to himself. Daisy had all the hallmarks of someone who’d had their memory tampered with. But why?

If Remus had transformed into a werewolf here in the hospital, and he almost certainly had, then the muggles would have their memories modified so that they wouldn’t remember him. But Daisy was a squib; there was no reason for her mind to be messed with.

“Remus is… was… a werewolf.”

Daisy’s gasp was the only indication that she’d even heard him.

“But if he was, he’d have transformed on the night of the full moon,” Daisy pointed out. “I’d remember that. The muggles would be obliviated, but the Ministry folk who deal with that sort of stuff have known me for years. They wouldn’t need to wipe my memory.”

“The Ministry must have found out about him when he transformed,” Sirius reasoned. “But, why wait two days after the full moon to transfer him? And why not just erase him completely from the memories of everyone here?”

“They probably couldn’t remove all the memories because of you being here. You’d remember him.”

“Then, why am I still here now?” Sirius asked. “Why not transfer me at the same time?”

“I don’t know.”

“There’s something not quite right about all this. Things don’t add up. Maybe he’s not dead after all. Maybe they just think he is, just spells and memory modifications.”

“There’s only one problem with that theory,” Daisy said quietly.

“What’s that?”

“If he was still alive he’d have been transferred to the high security ward at St Mungo’s and I’d know about it. He isn’t there. The last admission to that ward was two months ago and it wasn’t a werewolf.”

“Then they took him somewhere else. One of the camps for dangerous creatures!”

“I don’t think so,” Daisy replied quietly.

“Why not? How can you be so sure?”

“Well, because if your friend attacked people here in the hospital then the Ministry would have obtained an emergency execution order from the Wizengamot.”

“Oh shit!” Sirius thought back to the night of the crash. It had been a Thursday night and unusual for them to be out on that particular night of the week. But they’d had dinner plans with James and Lily on Friday and the full moon had been Saturday. The Wizengamot didn’t sit on a Sunday. They’d have had to wait for Monday to get the execution order. That explained the delay.

But it didn’t make any difference. It didn’t matter whether there had been medical complications or not. Either way Remus was dead.

“Can you contact the Ministry and get them to find out what happened?” Sirius asked urgently.

“I’ll do it right away. I’ve already contacted St Mungo’s and they’re going to transfer you there later today. They’ll obliviate the staff here so no one will even remember you were here.”

Sirius shrugged. He didn’t care whether the muggles remembered him or not.

“They should be able to fix your eyes for you, too,” Daisy continued.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters,” Daisy exclaimed.

“If Remus is really dead, then nothing matters any more,” Sirius replied, turning his face away from Daisy and signalling that the conversation, as far as he was concerned, was over.

-o-xXx-o-

St Mungo’s wasn’t exactly an improvement.

After Healer Whitby had appeared with the eighth disgusting potion to be poured down his throat, Sirius swore loudly at the woman and pushed her away. None of them had had the slightest effect on his lack of vision at all. The only slight consolation was that he was too bunged up with tears to be able to smell the worst of the concoctions. But he’d have gladly downed the foulest potion in the world, if it meant that Remus was returned to him.

He’d been put in a room with several other patients. Most of them snored, and several them couldn’t seem to take the hint that he didn’t want to be engaged in polite chatter.

He’d had a visit from an official from the Ministry of Magic who’d confirmed that Remus had indeed transformed into the werewolf in the muggle hospital. He’d still been borderline unconscious at the time, but it had been more than enough to terrify the muggle doctors and nurses. They had managed to restrain him with sedatives, aided by the injuries he’d already sustained from the crash. As such the danger had been minimal. The staff at the hospital had had their memories modified as soon as word had reached the Ministry – the exposure of the wizarding world being the top priority.

The Ministry had gone in to pull Remus out, knowing only that a werewolf was in the building, nothing about how he’d wound up there, or that another wizard had been brought in with him. He admitted that despite the delay, they’d not taken the time to thoroughly research the situation.

Remus had been quietly executed in accordance with the order granted by the Wizengamot. The official had taken great pains to stress to Sirius the legality of the actions of the Ministry. In his nasally tone, he’d repeated no less than five times that his men had acted with the full authority of the Wizengamot. Sirius would have hit him, if only he’d been able to see where to aim.

The muggles had been obliviated and their records and memories magically altered and modified. A new member of the team, who had simply failed to recognise her, had inadvertently treated Daisy as a muggle.

Sirius didn’t care. All that mattered was that his last shred of hope had vanished with the cold and brutal truth that Remus Lupin was gone forever.

Then, just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did.

“Sirius!”

“Great, just great,” he muttered as he heard the familiar footsteps of his mother striding across the room.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you,” she ordered coldly.

“Perhaps the healers have failed to mention to you, but I’m blind,” Sirius pointed out sarcastically.

“You can look in my direction at least,” Walburga stated as she sat down on one of the bedside chairs. Sirius didn’t bother to try to stifle the groan at the thought of her sticking around for any length of time.

“I see that living with that half-breed has done severe damage to all the good manners I took so much trouble to drill into you.”

“Don’t!” Sirius hissed, finally turning towards where his mother was sitting.

“I hear he didn’t make it,” continued Walburga as though Sirius hadn’t spoken. “His parents held a private funeral service a few days ago. They were glad to finally put the whole sorry business behind them.”

“Don’t!” Sirius repeated in a cold tone. “Don’t you dare speak about him.”

“I’m glad to see you’re at least looking towards the future.”

Sirius snorted. What future? Without Remus he didn’t have a future.

“Rosina says that they’ve done all they can for you by way of spells and potions and that I can take you home now.”

Sirius scowled at the memory of the latest visit from Rosina Whitby, the healer who’d been assigned to his case. He’d thrown the latest potion back at her, and from her squeal of annoyance he’d not failed to hit his target. “So they told me. I’ve sent a message to James asking him to collect me after he finishes work. I know he’ll let me stay with him for a while.”

“You’ll not stay with a Potter,” Walburga snapped. “What will people say?”

“I don’t care what they say; James is my friend and I’m staying with him.”

“You’ll be coming back to Grimmauld Place. I’ll hear no more arguments.”

Sirius shrugged. Maybe he would be better off at Grimmauld Place. As strange as it seemed, the depressing and gloomy old house of the Black family might just be the best place for him. It certainly matched his mood and without Remus, did it really matter where he was?

“That’s settled then,” Walburga announced. “Kreacher!” Sirius heard the telltale pop of the house elf appearing in the ward. “Dress Master Sirius then bring him home forthwith.”

“I can dress myself.”

“I’m sure you can. But with Kreacher’s help you’ll at least be presentable.”

Sirius growled in frustration, but couldn’t summon up the effort it would take to argue with her. What did it matter if Kreacher dressed him in the Slytherin colours of silver and green?

What did anything matter any more?