Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

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At Any Price
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Walburga Black greeted Sirius and Remus with a wide smile and even went so far as to give Sirius a peck on the cheek as he arrived.

The dining room of Grimmauld Place was lavishly decorated, the finest china was on the table and the silverware had been polished to a shine.

Walburga was delighted to announce the menu for the evening and Sirius felt his stomach growl as she named all his favourites.

As had been their habit ever since the bonding, Sirius insisted that he and Remus share a platter of food, and waited for the explosion from his mother, an explosion that never came.

Sirius frowned as Kreacher opened a bottle of elf-made wine with a pop. His mother was clearly up to something; he recognised the signs all too well. It was just a question of what.

“So, Sirius,” Walburga murmured. “Have you found a job yet?”

“No,” Sirius replied shortly. “Still looking.”

“If money gets to be a problem, you know you can always come back home.”

“Both of us?” Sirius asked with a tight smile.

Walburga looked like she might choke on her reply and instead gave a small nod of agreement.

Sirius raised a single eyebrow and took a sip of his wine. Whatever his mother wanted, she must want it really badly to agree to his moving back in and bringing Remus along with him. He didn’t fool himself for a moment that she might actually be accepting the choice he’d made.

“And what of you?” Walburga asked, turning to Remus with a brittle smile. “Are you still working for that muggle?”

Sirius had to give her credit – she very nearly managed to say the word muggle without sneering.

“Yes, ma’am,” Remus confirmed, causing Sirius to stifle a snicker at his forced formality.

“It must be hard working for a family and knowing you’ll never have one of your own,” Walburga continued in a consoling tone.

“He has a family,” Sirius interrupted with a glare across the table at her. “He has me.” He turned to Remus and reached under the table to squeeze his knee.

“It’s hardly the same thing,” Walburga replied with a snort of contempt and a glare towards Sirius’s wandering hand. He wondered briefly if his mother had some sort of x-ray vision.

“We’re happy as we are,” Remus added, his fingers entwining with Sirius’s under the table.

“But imagine how much happier and more fulfilled you would be if you had a proper family if your own.”

“Mother,” Sirius warned. “I’m not going to be marrying any of those girls, so give it a rest. I’m with Remus, I love him and nothing you say is going to change that.”

“I wasn’t suggesting marrying one of the girls,” Walburga replied with a haughty sniff. “Though Gladys was asking after you only last week.”

“Mother!” Sirius glared across the table. He hoped, rather than believed that his mother had finally given up on her schemes to marry him off to some pureblood girl. It wasn’t like her to give in, and he knew that she was hell-bent on getting a grandchild out of him.

“I was only saying. Anyway, I wasn’t suggesting that. I was wondering if you’d read that interesting article in the Prophet last week, the one on the Perkin’s Potions page?”

Sirius frowned as he tried to think which one she might be referring to. He read the potions page religiously, always hopeful of finding that Belby or someone else might have found a cure for Remus’s condition. So far he had made a few contacts with other potions experts and was writing to anyone who appeared to be working on anything that would help the werewolves of the world. No one seemed to have made as much progress as Belby, who he was also corresponding with on a regular basis, but he still had hope that one day he would find someone who could help.

Unfortunately, try as he might, he couldn’t think which potion his mother was referring to right now.

“Last Tuesday,” Walburga prompted. “It took up most of the page, surely you remember?”

“Tuesday? You mean the Polyjuice article?”

Walburga nodded and smiled at his realisation. “Quite interesting, wasn’t it?”

“Not really,” Sirius replied. “It was hardly groundbreaking or anything.”

“Not all of it, but there were some interesting ideas in it. Some uses I hadn’t thought of before.”

Sirius frowned as he thought back to the article that he had only read once and without a great deal of interest.

“Did you read it?” Walburga asked Remus, almost giving the impression that she cared about his answer.

“I’m afraid not,” Remus replied. “Potions aren’t really my thing.”

Walburga nodded understandingly before launching into an impassioned speech about the potential benefits and uses of the Polyjuice Potion. Sirius frowned more and more irritably as he listened to her enthusiastic nattering and waited for her to get to the point. It was a long time in coming, but eventually, there it was.

“You mean use the Polyjuice Potion to change sex?” Remus asked. “Why would anyone bother? Unless it’s to impersonate someone of the opposite sex, then what’s the point?”

“There was a great tribute band a couple of years ago who used Polyjuice Potion to impersonate the actual band during a gig where there might have been a riot when the originals didn’t show on time,” Sirius commented. “I hear they’re playing Leeds next month, Peter’s trying to get us all tickets, his father’s got contacts.”

“The originals or the tribute?” Remus asked.

“The tribute,” Sirius replied. “The originals have disappeared into obscurity. Probably a consequence of missing too many gigs.”

“Sounds like it could be a good night,” Remus agreed with a smile.

Walburga coughed politely, clearly hoping to steer the conversation back to the original topic.

“Would you like some water?” Sirius asked, equally politely.

“No, thank you,” Walburga replied with a smile as fake as Sirius’s own. “But, back to Polyjuice…”

“Must we?” Sirius snapped.

“I was only bringing it up as an option for you two young men to consider.”

“Consider what?” Sirius asked. “Living life as a woman?” He laughed shortly. “I’ve no desire to do any such thing, and neither has Remus.”

“Can’t he speak for himself?”

Remus smiled politely. “I’m quite happy as I am, thank you,” he assured her with a smile.

“You haven’t ever wanted a family of your own?” Walburga asked. “You’ve never wanted to see your line continue with a new generation?”

“It’s not really an option for us,” Remus pointed out quietly.

“But with Polyjuice it could be,” Walburga insisted. “It wouldn’t have to be forever, just long enough to carry a child to term.”

“It’s not going to happen,” Sirius interrupted with a laugh. “It’s never been successfully accomplished.”

“Before now,” Walburga slyly added. “Just think, the Blacks would be the first, treading new ground and setting the standard for future generations.”

“It’s an interesting idea,” Remus commented, earning himself a beaming smile from Walburga.

“It’s a bloody stupid idea,” Sirius argued.

“You could at least consider it,” Walburga snapped. “Thanks to that little stunt of yours outside of Gringotts you’re the most openly queer couple in the wizarding world. Despite my own personal opinion on the matter, you seem to have – how did Skeeter put it? – ‘Captured the hearts and imaginations of the Prophet readers’. The Prophet might even be willing to fund the expenses of the pregnancy in return for an exclusive.”

“We’ve no intention of providing the Prophet with any more stories,” Sirius calmly replied. “And we’ve even less intention of trying out some ridiculous Polyjuice experiment.”

Walburga’s response was stalled by the arrival of Orion, who had been working late at the Ministry, or so he said. Sirius didn’t know for sure, but he thought the brightness in his father’s eyes as he entered the room was probably not in response to the delicious dinner. In the end, he didn’t really care; his parents’ marriage only proved to him that he’d made the right choice in following his own path. There would be no loveless marriage for him. He might not have a conventional family, but he would have exactly what he wanted… Remus.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus looked absolutely adorable. Sirius smiled as he took off his cloak and looked at his lover who was snoring quietly on the sofa, books and magazines scattered all around him. Despite the fact that he’d seen him just that morning, he took the time to savour the sight.

Then the temptation to take the quill from Remus’s loose grip and tickle his nose with it grew too strong.

“Wha’?” Remus spluttered as he woke with a start, sending two books tumbling to the floor.

“Couldn’t resist,” Sirius said as he twirled the quill between his fingers. “So, what have you been doing all day? Besides sleeping?”

“Just a bit of light reading,” Remus replied as he struggled to sit up and gather all the books and magazines together into a single pile.

“Is that so?” Sirius asked as he picked up one of the books. “Clearly not the most riveting of books: Polyjuice: The Perils and Pitfalls.”

“I was just skimming that one,” Remus hurried explained as he tried to grab the book out of Sirius’s hand.

“Why are you reading about Polyjuice?” Sirius asked as he picked up a couple of magazines and saw that they were also potions related. “You don’t even like potions.”

Remus looked guilty, more guilty than Sirius could ever recall seeing him before. He wouldn’t even meet his eyes when he replied. “I was just looking some stuff up. Nothing important.”

“This is about what my bloody mother suggested, isn’t it?” Sirius asked with a sigh.

“Well, she does have a point.”

“Pity she doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Sirius muttered as he tossed the book and magazines onto the coffee table. “Just forget about what she said, and don’t waste your time with this rubbish.”

“It’s not rubbish,” Remus said in an overly casual tone. “There are quite a few reports about the feasibility of what she suggested.”

“Made by pureblood families who are desperate to keep the family line going?” Sirius sneered.

“Not all of them. There’s one potions master who’s apparently been looking at the idea properly. He wrote an article last year for Potent Potions Monthly about it. The results have been pretty positive.”

Sirius found that highly doubtful. “So, you’re saying that someone out there has successfully managed to get a bloke to give birth through the Polyjuice method?”

“Not yet.”

“Not ever!” Sirius exclaimed. He stood up and began to pace the room in frustration. “It’s too bloody dangerous, that’s why! No one in their right minds would even try it.”

“I’m not crazy,” Remus argued. “I’m not saying we should do this right away, but it’s worth looking into.”

Sirius picked up the parchments that Remus had clearly been taking notes on. “It seems to me like you’ve done a bit more than just ‘looking into’ it.”

“Think about it Sirius,” Remus pleaded. “If we had a baby of our own, it would mean the Black family line doesn’t have to end with you.”

“The line hasn’t ended,” Sirius pointed out. “Regulus and Chloe are expecting, remember?”

“I don’t think your mother sees it quite like that.”

“That’s her problem.”

“Don’t you want a family?”

“We can always adopt. That’s what other gay couples in the wizarding world do. Unlike muggles, we at least have that option.”

“That’s not what werewolves do though, is it?” Remus snapped. “There’s been no recorded instance of any werewolf being allowed to adopt, not one. It’s not an option for us.”

“Then we find another way,” Sirius said as he sat back down and pulled Remus close beside him.

“This is another way.”

Sirius sighed. “This way will get you killed. Have you even thought it through properly?”

“It could work, if we planned it properly and…”

“And if it goes wrong I lose you all over again, only this time there’d be no way to win you back.”

“You’re not going to lose me.”

“Remus, how much do you know about the Polyjuice potion?”

“It’s used to change one person into another one, and it can work to turn a bloke into a woman and vice versa.”

“Did you know that a single dose only lasts one hour?”

“So?”

“So? After an hour you’d turn back into a bloke. You’d need a huge amount of the stuff to keep up a continuous transformation for the nine months it would take to carry a baby to term.”

“Then we’d make a huge batch,” Remus shrugged.

“And what about when the morning sickness starts? If you can’t keep the potion down, you’ll turn back into a bloke!”

“I’d only have to keep a mouthful down. I’d manage it.”

“And what if you missed a dose?” Sirius asked. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you turned back before you were pregnant, but if you missed a dose when you were, you’d lose the baby and probably kill yourself too.”

“Then we’d be careful so I don’t miss a dose.”

“And what about the potions you take after the full moon? You have no idea how the Polyjuice will react with those.”

“We’ll find out.”

“Probably the hard way,” Sirius snapped. “Take the blood replenishing potion, the potion automatically knows what your blood type is and reacts accordingly. Whose blood type is it going to react to though, your own or the person you’re Polyjuiced into at the time?”

“Er…”

“And what about the full moon itself? Polyjuice would need to be taken every hour, without fail. How do you think you’re going to persuade Moony to take it?”

“The potion can be taken by injection,” Remus replied, passing Sirius a report that indicated that was the case. “We could work round the morning sickness with that, too.”

“And who the hell’s going to administer it to Moony?”

“I thought maybe through something like a muggle tranquilliser gun…”

“You want me to shoot you?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“And what about regular nights? Are you planning on sleeping? I hear that pregnant women get pretty tired; if you plan on going without sleep for nine months, you’d be doing yourself even more harm.”

“I could take…”

“Another potion?” Sirius interrupted. “One that might also interact badly with Polyjuice.”

“So, we’d test it before I actually got pregnant,” Remus argued. “See if I can live as a woman for a week or two and test how the others potions react with it.”

“A week or two?” Sirius laughed bitterly. “Would this week or two include a full moon? Just wondering if you’ve thought about what would happen when the moon rises.”

“I’d still turn into a werewolf,” Remus said with a snort of annoyance. “Early tests on werewolves had involved them trying to use Polyjuice potion on the night of the full moon to see if the transformation could be halted.”

“And what if you were in the form of a pregnant woman at the time of the full moon?” Sirius asked.

“I’m not sure,” Remus admitted. “There are a lot of reports of pregnant females with Lycanthropy carrying their babies to term without any problems. It seems that the babies are unaffected by the transformation.”

“Do you know why that is?” asked Sirius, though he didn’t wait for an answer. “It’s because ninety six percent of babies born to women who suffer from Lycanthropy carry the strain themselves. The babies turn into unborn wolf cubs during the full moons that happened during the pregnancy.”

“And the other four percent?” Remus whispered.

“Still born,” Sirius answered shortly. “There’s not a single reported case of any female werewolf giving birth to a child without Lycanthropy.”

“It’s different for blokes though. Only twelve percent of male werewolves pass on the Lycanthropy to their children.”

“That’s not the point, and actually makes it worse. You’ve got no real idea what would happen on the night of the full moon if you were a pregnant female. If you don’t pass on the Lycanthropy the baby won’t transform with you and will die, and probably kill you, too.”

“Or the baby could transform with me and survive,” Remus argued.

“And you’d be passing on your Lycanthropy to another human being!” Sirius exclaimed. “I thought you hated the wolf, that you wanted it to end with you?”

“I do hate the wolf,” Remus whispered. “But I want to do this. Besides, it may be that I’ll turn into a female wolf, the baby changing with me, but it not being infected because the woman I’ll be at the time of the birth and conception isn’t infected.”

“That’s an awfully big maybe you’ve got there,” Sirius pointed out. “There’s a lot riding on sheer good luck here.”

“Don’t you think we’re due some good luck?” Remus asked.

“In spite of everything, we’ve still got each other. Isn’t that good luck enough for you? Why put yourself through this?”

“I…” Remus looked away and Sirius felt his anger dissipating.

“What is it?” he asked as he pulled Remus into a hug.

“You’ve done so much for me,” Remus whispered. “I don’t deserve you.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Sirius teased. “Now, why are you so determined to kill yourself in such a horrible manner?”

“I want to be a dad,” Remus said with a sigh. “I didn’t realise how much until I started working with Eve. Don’t you want a baby, too?”

“If I say I do, you’ll use it against me later,” Sirius muttered. “I don’t care if the Black lines dies out. But I do care if you die. I never thought I’d ever have you here, not like this, you know, with me properly. I thought I’d lost my best friend forever and damn it Remus, I never want to feel that way again. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you again.”

“We’d be careful, we’d plan it properly,” Remus whispered.

“There’s one other problem you’ve not thought of,” Sirius whispered back.

“What’s that?” Remus asked with a frown.

“I’m gay,” Sirius pointed out with a roll of his eyes.

“I assume there’s a reason you’re telling me something I already know?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Sirius sighed. “I don’t get turned on by women. They don’t do anything for me. I’m gay, and I doubt that I could… er… perform, even if the woman was really you.”

Remus smirked. “I’ve had a few ideas about how to get around that.”

“I’ll bet you have,” Sirius muttered. “I’ll bet you’ve even thought of who you’re planning on turning into for the duration.”

“I thought I’d leave the choice up to you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius snorted. “I still wouldn’t be able to do my duty and get you knocked up.”

“Please let me try,” Remus pleaded.

“Don’t you understand? It’s not a question of trying, failing and trying again another time. If it fails then you’ll die. No one has ever successfully managed to pull this off.”

“No one’s managed to make a potion to help werewolves before,” Remus pointed out quietly. “But it isn’t stopping you from helping Belby to work on one.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because I’m not risking my life by working on it.”

“But if that’s what it took, you’d do it.”

Sirius sighed, knowing that Remus had him with that one. “Damn it, Remus. I don’t want you to do this.”

“Sirius, I love you,” Remus whispered as he crawled into his lap. “I want to have your baby. Let me do this for you.”

Sirius gasped as Remus’s hand slipped inside his robes and Sirius groaned, knowing that if he didn’t get out of the flat now, it was only a matter of time before he talked him around.

“I’ve got to go out,” Sirius stated as he pried himself out of Remus’s grip and reached for the keys to his bike.

“Sirius?” Remus called after him. But Sirius ignored the plea as he stalked out the front door; he didn’t want to fight with Remus, especially not when he knew who was to blame for putting the foolish idea in his head in the first place.

-o-xXx-o-

“Mother!” Sirius called as he stepped over the threshold to Grimmauld Place.

“Sirius, darling.” Walburga stepped into the hallway with a smile that quickly evaporated when she saw the view through the open front door. “Please move that muggle contraption away from the front of the house. You know it upsets the neighbours.”

“The neighbours are muggles,” Sirius pointed out and he slammed the door shut behind him. “I’m sure they’ve seen a motorbike before.”

“But this is a certain type of neighbourhood,” Walburga argued. “Now, be a dear and go move the thing down the street.”

“It can stay where it is, I’m not staying for long.” Sirius strode into the parlour and waited for his mother to follow after him. He knew that she would.

“Alone, are you?” Walburga asked with a deceptively sweet smile.

“Obviously.”

“I hope the werewolf’s not unwell. Werewolves generally have a higher immunity to trifling little things like colds and the like.”

“You hope he’s well?” Sirius spluttered. He shook his head in bemused wonder and raised his eyes to the ceiling as though praying for patience. “You hope he’s well, but you put a crazy idea like using Polyjuice to continue the Black line in his head!”

“I only said…”

“I don’t care what you said,” Sirius cut in. “I don’t care about the Black line. I don’t care if there’s never another wizard or witch in the family after me! Considering the sheer volume of raving nutters in this family, it’d probably be best if the line does die out!”

“You don’t mean…”

“I do mean it! Every bloody word!”

“But…”

“Mother, for once in your life, would you just listen to me?”

Walburga stepped back as Sirius’s voice reached an even greater volume than before. “I’m listening,” she reluctantly muttered. “There’s no need to shout.”

“Good. I’m gay.” He raised his hand to cut off his mother’s reply. “I know I’ve told you this before, but it doesn’t seem to have sunk in yet. I’m gay. I don’t fancy women, none of them. I love Remus, and if you think I’m going to let him risk his life by doing this, then you don’t know me at all.”

“But if the werewolf was a woman, it’d still be him…” Walburga’s voice trailed off at Sirius’s glare.

“His name’s Remus!” Sirius yelled. “Remus John Lupin. It’s not that hard to remember. You don’t even have to remember it all, Remus will do. Just stop calling him ‘the werewolf’.”

“But he is a werewolf.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“Very well. Remus,” she practically choked on the word, “would still be himself.”

“I’m not here to discuss this with you,” Sirius said. “I’m here to tell you to drop the subject… forever. I don’t want to see you sending Remus clippings from potions publications, or hear you dropping your anvil size hints every time we come round here.”

“He seemed quite interested in the idea,” Walburga pointed out with a sly smile. “He likes children, and he’s been known to like women, too. What’s to stop you from…”

“Remus may like women as well as men, but that doesn’t mean I do!”

“You’ve just not given them a chance. Look at that sweet little Victoria you snubbed last year.”

Sirius let the comment on Victoria’s sweetness pass. He knew a viper when he saw one and that particular one had the most poisonous tongue he’d ever seen on a teenage girl. “Mother, drop it!” he ordered. He had no intention of getting into that argument all over again.

“Werewolves are stronger than regular wizards,” Walburga pressed on.

“Because they have to be,” Sirius replied. “And that’s hardly the point. You haven’t thought through the practicalities of any of this. It could kill him!”

“He’s only a werewolf.”

Sirius recoiled as though he’d been slapped at the harsh words. “Let me ask you something, mother,” he advanced on her with slow and purposeful strides. “If I were the one taking the risks, would you be so eager to offer your support?”

“You?” Walburga laughed. “But you’re a Black, you don’t… I mean you wouldn’t… you aren’t…”

Sirius smirked at his mother as he debated whether to tell her that all those things she was struggling to say – all those things she apparently feared – were in fact true.

Finally Walburga seemed to reach that same conclusion on her own, without the need for Sirius to elaborate. “I would not wish for you to take such a risk, not even for the Black line,” she stated quietly.

“Yes, you would,” Sirius countered. “You’ve just read enough of the research to know that if it were me, then the bloodline wouldn’t be continued at all. The child would be that of Remus and the woman I’d be for the duration of the pregnancy.”

“You think I care so little for my son?”

“I think you care more for the continuing of the family line than anything else.”

“That’s not true.”

“Not entirely, no,” Sirius amended. “After all, if you cared about the family line that much, Regulus would have been invited to Father’s birthday celebration last week.”

“He said he was too busy.”

“Funny that,” Sirius replied with a gleeful smile at catching his mother out in a lie. “When I spoke to him this morning, he was under the impression that you and Father had gone abroad for his birthday. He seemed quite hurt that it was too far for him to travel to by muggle methods, particularly with his new wife being in a certain delicate condition.”

“Regulus and whatever brat his wife produces has nothing to do with this,” Walburga snapped. “You could continue the line if you were prepared to take the risk.”

“You mean if Remus were prepared to take the risk!”

“The werewolf certainly seemed prepared to do so when I spoke to him.”

“This is pointless,” Sirius sighed. “You’re not even listening.” He walked towards the front door, shaking his head as he went.

“The werewolf said…”

“REMUS!” Sirius screamed as he turned back to face his mother one final time. “His name is Remus!”

“Don’t you dare walk out on me!” Walburga screeched. “You’ll regret it! Your werewolf lover’s prepared to take the risk… I thought you were a Gryffindor? They’re supposed to be brave, aren’t they? You’ll live to regret it!”

“No, I won’t,” Sirius replied calmly.

He didn’t hear his mother’s reply, not that he really needed to. He could easily imagine what she was saying as he slammed the door and ran down the front steps.

He hoped he’d heard the last of the topics of Polyjuice and pregnancies.

-o-xXx-o-

When Sirius arrived back at the flat, he could tell that Remus wasn’t about to let the subject drop, at least not yet.

“Sirius…” he began. He got no further though because Sirius cut him off with a hard and determined kiss.

“No,” Sirius whispered as he cupped Remus’s face between his hands. “I’m not going to argue with you, and I’m not going to let you do this.”

“But…”

Sirius pulled Remus back into another kiss that left them both breathless. He might not be able to talk Remus out of his plan with words, but there were other, far more pleasant methods at his disposal.

Sirius slowly unbuttoned Remus’s shirt and slipped his hand inside. He pulled back from their kiss as he pushed the shirt back from Remus’s shoulders, and turned his attention to the bare skin at the base of his neck. Remus let loose a small sigh of contentment; Sirius moved back to his lover’s lips and captured them with his own once more.

Then Remus was pushing him backwards, and he stumbled as he fell down onto the sofa. Remus followed him down and straddled him and he pushed upwards to brush against Remus’s increasingly obvious arousal.

“Need… you…” he gasped as Remus undid the belt of his trousers and pulled down the zipper. “Remus… please…”

Remus wasted little time in pulling Sirius’s erection free from the confines of his clothing. Sirius thrust into the hand that was gripping him loosely, moaning in pleasure. He’d do anything for Remus right now… anything at all.

It was then that he realised that Remus had comes to the same conclusion he had, to use sex to win him around.

“It won’t work…” Sirius gasped and he tugged at Remus’s own trousers.

“Why not?” Remus asked wickedly, as he continued to stroke Sirius.

“Because you like this… too much.” Sirius struggled back into a sitting position and pushed Remus onto his back.

“We’d still be able to do this,” Remus pointed out, as Sirius removed the rest of his clothing, and settled down between his legs.

“Not like this,” Sirius replied, as he exposed Remus’s own erection and bent over him. “You like this too much.”

Sirius ducked his head and licked at the tip of Remus’s aroused member. Remus bucked beneath him, and he smiled to himself as he took the other man into his mouth completely.

Remus continued to writhe beneath him, panting and moaning, and begging for Sirius to finish him.

Sirius dragged it out for as long as he could, but Remus wasn’t going to last long. He pulled back when he knew Remus was close to release.

“Think you can go nearly a year without this?” he asked with a smirk. Then he quickly impaled himself on Remus’s erection, crying out at the pain. He’d not stopped to prepare himself; he hadn’t wanted to give Remus time to think of more arguments to try and talk him around.

Remus’s hands were gripping his waist, and Sirius began to move, riding the other man with slow deliberate movements. He pushed aside the pain until he was almost able to forget it altogether. He knew he’d feel it in the morning, but right now he didn’t care. He took one of Remus’s hands from his waist and guided it to his own aching shaft.

“Remus…” he cried as they increased the speed of their frantic movements. Remus was arching beneath him, meeting his movements with vigorous thrusts of his own.

“Sirius…” Remus whimpered in response. Then he was screaming out his name as his orgasm crashed over him. Sirius came a moment later, and he collapsed across Remus’s chest, breathless and panting.

“Love you…” Remus whispered. “Do anything for you…”

“Then don’t deprive me of this,” Sirius said as he ran a lazy finger down Remus’s length. “I waited so long to feel you inside me… so long.”

Remus was silent for a long time, and Sirius tried to sit up to make sure the other man hadn’t fallen asleep. Remus’s hand on his shoulder stopped him midway, and he looked into the earnest brown eyes of his lover.

“I’d do anything for you,” Remus repeated quietly.

“I know you would,” Sirius whispered back. “That’s why I’m asking you to stay as you are right now. I need you, Remus. I need you like you are now. I need to feel you inside me; I need to taste you when you come.”

“You could still do that,” Remus pointed out.

“It’s not the same,” Sirius sighed. “You wouldn’t look and sound like you; you wouldn’t smell or feel like you; and you wouldn’t taste like you. Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me again.”

“I wouldn’t be leaving you.”

“But you would! You’d disappear, and some strange woman would be here instead, and I can’t… I can’t… not have you. I couldn’t bear it.”

Remus was quiet for several minutes before he finally spoke again. “I guess I never thought about it like that. I thought you’d want this. Don’t you want children?”

“Not as much as I want you,” Sirius replied as he brushed Remus’s hair back from his face and planted a tender kiss on the soft lips beneath him.

Remus smiled back up at him. “Okay,” he said. “I won’t take the potion.”

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and rested his head against Remus’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispered, his mind at ease at last.