The Dark Gryffindor

Please review!

Sjauthor: Thanks...I hope you like what's below.


Sheherazade: I know the flying scene was great. I hope you didn't miss the "apologize" chapter before it. Snape was definitely flying in book seven. Mcgonagall said he learned it from Voldemort, who could also fly unaided.


Chapter Forty-one: Vision of Eternity


Snape shut the door softly behind himself. It was the quiet hours just before dawn. Not a sound was stirring inside the room probably because it was now vacant of Dumbledore’s silver instruments. Only the sound of an ancient hourglass’s echo chimed continuously. And that sound was something that easily faded into the background. And besides that there was the light, perpetual lull of former headmasters and headmistresses snoring.

Valerie wasn’t looking at Snape, but glancing up at the stairs that led the bedroom, wondering if it was time they retired. Snape viewed her pensively, his forehead wrinkling with apprehension. He considered if now was the time to tell her.

He put his hand lightly on her back. “Sit with me.”

Snape guided her gently to two bench seats that looked like daybed furniture; both of them parallel to each other. Valerie’s feet still in her stockings padded over the floor’s surface as they reached the lounge. In this instant she was quite surprised he wanted to sit here. Never had it been here, always Snape at his desk, with she across from him in one of the chairs.

Snape sat down straight across from Valerie, so close their knees touched each other.

“What is it Severus?”

Snape gave one glance at Valerie and then slowly, he put one hand to his temple. He stared down into his lap.

Valerie slowly grew alarmed. He looked to be almost ashamed. Of something. “What’s ailing you?”

Snape did not answer at once. Meanwhile, some of the portraits awakened from their sleep. But once they saw it was only Snape with his mistress as usual, they went back to sleep. They had finally gotten over it.

Valerie was now becoming paranoid by Snape’s refusal to answer. On some level she might have known somehow what it all meant and her worst fear was brought to light. She quavered, “Are you going to leave me?”

Snape’s tone became bitter. “I am much too selfish for that I’m afraid….No. Never.” And Snape meant selfish in the sense that he knew Valerie was in terrible danger by associating with him, and yet he would never sever ties with her, even if it could keep her safe.

Valerie sighed a little with relief. “Then what is it then?”

He decided it was indeed time to prepare her. To tell the last secret, the very last grain of truth.

“I wish I could marry you, Valerie. You’re the only woman on earth I could want.”

Valerie actually smiled and became optimistic with her pragmatic idea. “But you can marry me! Nobody has to know. Let’s elope Severus!”

But Snape looked dire again. “Believe me, Valerie. I have thought of it. I am quite certain the Dark Lord would permit us, once you are free from being my student. However it cannot be.”

Valerie frowned. “Why?”

“Because…Because…” But Snape hesitated and put the palms of his hands together as if to calm himself. “I have been asked to die. It is my duty to die as I arranged with Dumbledore.”

Finally unearthing this information for her made Snape’s face slacken. He felt a wave of fatigue that had nothing to do with his need for sleep. And Valerie noticed for the first time haw old Snape was and how old he looked. His face was full of lines of worry. And he looked so saddened.

“I fear…My time has drawn nigh,” he added abruptly.

Valerie felt the hair raise on the back of her neck. Somehow she knew it. And yet she remained in total denial of his imminent death and yet, whether in ten months or ten years it was inevitable. “I don’t think your fears will come true. Not for awhile, Severus. It could be years! I think we should get married!”

Snape frowned darkly. He looked hopeless and full of despair. “Marry you? Enter you into a contract, a magical contract that will with near certainty end with you as a widow? Might I add a very young widow. No.”

“Severus…I don’t mind.”

“Valerie, the excursion we had just now…Where we felt a oneness is the closest thing we’ll ever have to a marriage.”

Snape drew himself up and looked straight into Valerie’s eyes. “I told you before, I was asked to by Dumbledore to kill him on the tower. I have also been asked to die. I am going to sacrifice myself for the sake of everyone and I will not yield. I gave my word and I must.”

“This is the truth? Please, please tell me…” but Valerie’s voice failed her. She looked at Snape and felt no words were necessary. She knew already her arguments would be futile. He would not budge.

And Snape felt sure of what he said next. “But you will find somebody else when I am gone.”

Valerie shook her head and ardently retaliated with horror, “No! I won’t!”

Snape raised an eyebrow. “But I did. With Lily. Remember?”

“But-but you changed,” said Valerie, her voice twanged with a sharp note of pain.

Snape looked doubtful. “And you won’t?”

Valerie couldn’t answer. She couldn’t speak anymore. Her throat felt constricted, stricken with horror by the truth. There was a lump in her throat. Her face crumpled into grief like it had when she found her mother dead. “Severus…” she almost whined, “I love you. You know-“

Snape watched her with pity. He knew she was feeling enormous pain in this moment now. ‘So like what his own had been.’ He was thinking of the past event of losing Lily.

Snape was about to tell her that he loved her, once again, when he found there was another way to comfort her. “Come here,” he said in a kind voice.

Valerie crawled onto his lap and buried her head in his chest, sobbing. And Snape held her, rocking her back and forth and being strong for her. Yet he wished she could comfort him as well. He needed some reassurance, that he would be all right. He was secretly getting tired of being brave; he didn’t really want to sacrifice himself. It was just that he knew he must. As an obligation to Dumbledore, and the people who’d already died because of Voldemort.

He continued to hold her in his lap. It was not unlike the position where he had taken her virginity. He stroked everywhere from the locks of her hair, her back, buttocks and legs. Letting her know his touch was still there. He was still there.

“It's alright my young girl. I will know when I do go and leave this world…I will remember how you are the closest friend I have ever had.”

Valerie’s quiet sobs slowly stopped. Yet an occasional tear still leaked out. Snape turned her around and kept her feeling safe in his lap. She leaned against his shoulder and looked at him.

And was amazed to see how strong he was and how well he appeared to be taking it. Yet then she saw Snape grimace. No. He was in pain, unbearable pain. He shared a similar pain to hers.

Valerie squeezed Snape’s hand and held it. It felt so good to be doing this. She caressed it and wouldn’t let go. Once again, words were not necessary just being.

They could feel the start of the new day stirring in the air. It was palpable. Another day, another chance for life. But not for this couple. It was tantalizing to them, for knowing it was something they couldn’t have.

The curtains of the large window behind the desk were completely parted. In silence, a silence that was truly golden they watched the sun rising in the East. The East happened to face the window directly.

Valerie spoke hollowly. “Life is passing away. A new dawn should bear new life. Yet here we experience the opposite. One day begins while our life ends….” Another lone tear trickled down Valerie’s cheek.

"It’s dusk for us…and darkness is drawing near…”

“Hush, Valerie. Be still…” Yet Snape felt a shiver go up his spine at her words. He’d rather not think of death right now. For his own was becoming too real.

Valerie stared glumly, feeling a numbness overcome her, probably a defense to stave off the pain that gripped her. She stared at the edge of the carpet as it lightened. The pain was ebbing away, but what was replacing it was emptiness. A void of inextricable loss.

And Snape continued to watch the beauty of the new day unfold before him. He almost felt inspired. That was something he had never been prone to. The light of the sun glowed through the windows like sheets of pure gold, glimmering through the glass window. The rising sun was a vision of eternity. It made Snape, like Valerie, hope for the promise of eternal life.

For a long time, they did not move. But sat together. A sense of peace inside them, something both of them desperately needed. They had not felt a sense of peace in so long; neither of them could recall when they felt it last. All that mattered was now. Being together.

Many minutes that felt like mere moments ticked on. Until Snape noted, “You shall continue to sleep in Gryffindor tower for the rest of term until the year ends. I don’t want to lose you. In case there is a calamity, I shall know where you are. Keep two candles in your window.

“And tell Mr. Longbottom he needs to be careful. The Carrows are after him too…I don’t want to have his corpse hanging over my head as headmaster,” and some of the old sarcasm returned to him.

“Yes, Severus,” she said with firm obedience. “I’ll do everything you asked me to.”

Snape almost managed to smile again. “Despite your rough edges and the many times you needed my punishments…I’m sure you would have made an obedient wife.”

And now Valerie was smiling hugely.

“Really?”

“Yes. I would have been proud to let others know you were…If it could have been that way.”

In an instant Valerie entangled her arms around Snape’s neck in an embrace. And then she was kissing him. Snape reciprocated, prolonging the kiss, swishing his tongue inside her. She still felt hot and passionate to him, despite the stress the revelation of his impending sacrifice for the greater good had brought. It was good to know they had not lost their lust despite losing so much.




NOTE: I am a tad proud of what I wrote above. It is better than my usual in my opinion. I thought I was poignant and very expressive with the simple words I use. What do you think? The scenes about the night before the battle are close to being written.