The Diary Of A Slytherin Prince

Chapter Six: Apologies and Explanations

Hermione shook her head as she looked up at Harry and the other members of the Gryffindor Quiddich team, she This was their first practice of the year and she thought they were pretty good. Harry was a good Captain, he worked with the basics as they were doing drills. Every now and then however her eyes would stray to the tower behind her and her thoughts to Draco.

She closed her eyes a moment as she tried to relax. She didn't know what she was feeling when it came to him, a part of her was scared out of her mind but another part, so hoped and prayed he really loved her. She really in essence was not sure how to tell him everything.

How do you tell him something like this? I mean what right do I have to string him along like this, to make him feel the way he is when it will all just die and there will pain in the end ? How do I let myself feel for someone when I know I'm just going to disgust him? He's going to leave me like everyone else does. Love? He loves me? He can't love me.. I can't tell him, if I tell him he'll hate me,or worse call me a whore because that's what I've become.Even if it breaks my heart because I love him too, I need to save him from me..

Hermione didn't know what to do or say to him, she knew it wasn't his fault and she knew the problem lay squarely on her. She opened her eyes a moment as she felt the tears run down her cheeks and went to brush them away when she felt something caress her cheek. She looked stunned and almost jumped up when she saw it was of all things...

A white ferret, it looked at her pleadingly as it hopped on her lap and Hermione was surprised when she saw there was a note attached to it by a little red ribbon, She for a moment stroked it's fur and scratched behind it's ears as she gently and carefully removed the ribbon and opened the note.

“Please forgive me I'm sorry.. DM”

She read it softly as she looked down at the little ferret a moment and she shook her head in sorrow.

“Little ferret if you only knew the things I’ve done.. he'd hate me when I told him. Everyone I love hates me and no I can't forgive him because he did nothing wrong, it's me.. I'm the messed up one.. I wish you could tell him that for me, that it's not his fault, I can't find the words.. I can't.. I'm sorry I'm so damn sorry.. ”

Hermione began to cry and the ferret looked up at her with concern and in a very unlikely ferret way it put it's paw to her face and placed his snout against her lips. For a moment nothing happened but soon the ferret changed.

Draco kissed her, as he did he caressed her face and looked at her his grey eyes flashing with concern as he pulled back and asked her.

“Can I be the judge of that or have you already decided I'm not worth trusting my own feelings when it comes to us? I think a talk is overdue for us both, Just hear me out okay at least do that for me please Hermione? I think we should talk, not here obviously but in our room. The Common room if you feel safer there alright?”

He asked her as he smiled softly and felt a bit relieved when she nodded. She took his hand in hers and kissed his cheek and he grinned as he helped her down from the bleachers and they went to make their way to their Head Dorm. As they approached it however, Hermione stopped a moment and asked him.

“So why a ferret? I mean how in the world did you do that? I know you don't like them.”

“I'm an Animagus Hermione, my form is a ferret, as embarrassing as it is to me.. also and your going to think this is freaky but I’ve been talking to Crookshanks he's not happy your miserable either. You cat has a really dirty mouth when he wants to use it. Also he seems to like me otherwise,except that I've made you cry.He helped me tie the bow on somehow or other I have no idea..”

Hermione was silent a moment as she just looked at him and raised an eyebrow a moment. Draco sighed as he opened the portrait door for them after giving it the password.

“Unity”

Draco allowed her to step in first and as she did she stopped in her track in the middle of the common room. Draco stood behind her a moment his hand on the small of her back and he told her.

“If the Ferret me hadn't gotten you to talk to me then I figured this might.. There are exactly 10,080 roses here, one for every minute of the last seven days we haven't spoken, I'm sorry for the way I acted . It was too soon for us to be that intimate. I've never had a real girlfriend before so I kinda don't know how to act sometimes..”

Draco told her honestly as Hermione turned to go out of the portrait hole covering her mouth and nose and he followed after her..

“What is wrong now? Hermione please talk to me!”

Draco.. I'm allergic to roses.. I couldn't breathe in there I'm sorry I..”

She was breathing hard as he used his palm to hit his forehead and he went and sat her near the nearest window and he used his hands to fan her with. Then he remembered he was a wizard and used his wand to send a cooling breeze of fresh air to caress her face gently.

“I'm an idiot I just...”

Hermione stopped his muttering and apologizing by just placing her hand on his cheek a moment.

“ No it's incredibly sweet.. I love the gesture Draco, but you have nothing to apologize for if anything I owe you the apology. If you could get rid of the flowers I think I can talk to you about what was bothering me.. Please, that or at least tell me our bedroom isn't full of them too? ”

She asked him as he shook his head and she sighed in relief as Draco asked her.

“What is your favorite flower anyways sweetheart? And there might be a few thousand butterflies in there though, please tell me you don't hate butterflies..”

Hermione smiled as she kissed his cheek and hugged him to her as she did he smiled and he felt everything would be alright, his heart still hurt a little but nothing this woman couldn't fix.

“My favorite flower is a Lily, Butterflies now.. I like them a lot but just about how many are we talking Baby?”

She asked as he for a moment smiled and when she called him baby he grinned even wider.

“You'll have too see, let me go get rid of those roses and I'm glad my mother isn't still alive only because I pillaged our family's rose garden, maybe I can shrink them down and after this we can go see my mum if you wanted to. I think she'd like that.I haven't been to her grave site since the funeral and..”

He asked quietly as he looked at his feet a moment. As he asked this Hermione felt a tear fall down her cheek.

“Yes, I'll go with you Draco, if you still want me to after we talk. I know your thinking what could she tell me to make me hate her right? My story isn't good, there's things you need to know and accept if you want to be with me. I'm sorry you lost your parents,even your Father though he wasn't a nice man he was still your Father and Fathers have a way of fucking up their kids lives don't they?”

She asked with a frown. Draco didn't comment as he walked towards the Heads portrait and opened it and began to say a spell that made all the roses shrink and he placed them in a jar and he said a spell to clean the common room until it was clean of all pollen, dust and rose residue if any. He came back to her and took her hand and nodded.

“I'll tell you my story as well, it's not pretty or pleasant, but if your going to be with me then you need to know everything.I want no secrets between us ever again Hermione. Your not going to like everything you hear. ”

Draco told her as they entered the common room and he gestured to the sofa and asked her trying to be cheerful..

“Let's have some tea, it might help. Also I didn't eat lunch so would you mind if I made a few sandwiches as well?”

He asked and she shook her head as she sat and he went to make the tea, she didn't know how to begin her tale, she figured at the beginning of course but she felt so nervous. Draco was making the tea and felt nervous as he had never told anyone what he was going to tell her. His mind for a moment screamed at him.

DRACO ABRAXUS MALFOY I FORBID YOU TO TELL HER ANYTHING!!

The voice of course was from his Father who he told quite frankly.

“Shut up I'm going to bare my soul to the woman I love and your dead Father.. you can't harm us now”

Hermione had gotten up and walked to the doorway when he had said this to himself and she for a moment blinked as she wondered what was going on, as he had put it Lucius Malfoy was dead and Draco was going to bare his soul to her? To her of all people...

“Hi Angel,the tea is almost ready, why do you look troubled? We'll work through it together alright?”

He asked this as he walked over and kissed her forehead and hugged her to him a moment. She stiffened a moment then hugged him back feeling his warmth and security and she felt her heart's barrier finally crack and fall shattering and she closed her eyes as she gave in to the feelings she felt for him.

He walked her to the sofa and she sat down on one end and he the other. She for a moment took a sip of tea and then placed it down on the table in front of them and she took a calming breath.

“I guess I should start at the beginning. First of all my name is not Hermione Granger.That is, it is but my parents weren't my real parents. They were my foster parents, I was with them since I was two years old. They never officially adopted me but my legal name is Hermione Jean Granger in the eyes of the law because we were together for so long. “

She began to tell him as he watched her and nodded listening to her. She looked at him a moment and she continued. As she did she took another sip of tea and put it down carefully on the top of the bone china saucer and took a moment to relax and continue.

“Everything was good and we were a happy family,Monica and Wendell were the most loving and supportive parents a girl could ask for until my eleventh birthday. When I got my Hogwarts letter, things started to go downhill from there. My foster parents began to treat me differently,they called me a freak and I would be beat for anything that happened around the house. And I mean anything at all .

I was twelve when I got my period the first time, I thought I was dying, I didn't know what was happening to my body and when I asked my mother she told me that it was part of becoming a whore, that my body was making itself ready to have sex. She locked me in a cupboard for a week without food or drink.. “

Hermione took a breath and let it out slowly as she looked at her hands a moment and they were shaking slightly.

“Thankfully Madame Pomphrey explained everything to me, that my body wasn't dirty because I got my period.That it was part of becoming a woman and that it might have been true my body was maturing it didn't mean I was a whore or dirty.. She also explained to me that virginity is sacred and I should wait to have sex until I was married. I intended to do that even. Wait for the right man to give myself to,the one I married.”

Hermione bit her lip a moment as she struggled to continue and she shook her head when he went to speak and put her hand up.

“No let me finish I have to tell you everything, I haven't even gotten to the horrible things yet Draco. All I know is after I am done, your free to leave me if you wish.If you decide we can't be together i'll leave, I'll go home to Essex and never bother you again.”

Draco was silent as he sipped his tea and wondered what she was going to tell him. He already knew she wasn't a virgin by the way she had touched herself in the shower and he just kept silent urging her to go on.

“I have never told this to anyone except Ron because we were dating and he wanted to have sex with me.Even he doesn't know all i'm going to tell you. Truth is I'm not a virgin Draco, so I can't give you that. It happened about a year ago, my foster Father, Wendell he... One night when my, Monica when Monica wouldn't give him any he came to me. He held me down and he used his fingers at first, he hit me as I struggled and my screams woke up Monica. At first I thought she was going to help me..”

A tear fell down her eyes as she continued on her voice began to crack as she could see it all in her mind's eye. Draco felt his heart heavy as he listened to her. What was she telling him? He was silent as he watched her, saw the way her hands shook in her lap and how she for a moment raised them and crossed her chest a moment. For a moment she grabbed her neck and hair then her face as she began to describe what had happened to her in detail.

“Wendell grabbed me by my hair and smacked me right in the face with a leather belt. He told me he was going to teach me a lesson. He blamed me for Monica not giving him pussy, he blamed me and called me his freak whore and then.. Monica came in as he had begun to rip my clothes off, I fought back as best as I could and...”

Draco moved over and pulled her into his arms and rocked her as he kissed the top of her head.

“You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to, I can see how much this is hurting you..He raped you didn't he?”

Draco asked the words were thick in his throat as she sniffed and nodded sadly. She kept her eyes closed but she continued as she lay her head on his chest.

“You need to understand, I didn't want it but the more I fought against him the more pain he would give me, Monica didn't help me in fact she held me down.. My own mum as my daddy raped me. They're not my real parents but you know they raised me. So it made me feel even more dirtier. God help me Draco when I stopped resisting, when he stopped hitting me I began to like it, that's what makes me a whore.. That's what makes me loving you hard because I loved them too and they turned on me. They took the one thing I held sacred and violated it. “

She was in tears almost hysterical now but she shook her head. She bit her lip a moment till it bled and swallowed before she finished.

“They did all that to me, and yet, he never used his.. I was never good enough for his cock, unless it was up my ass but never in my .. I've never had a cock inside me, it was always something else, whatever he could find, one time it was a wire coat hanger twisted and bent and I bled for days after. I also was left with the scar from the hook part of the hanger ripping into my skin. I'm not even sure if.. What if I can't have children because of that fucking son of a bitch! What if I can't give us a child Draco?? Would you still be with me then? Would you..?”

She finally completely broke down in his arms and he held her, rubbed her back and tried not to be angry for the moment.

How the fuck could someone hurt my sweet Angel like this? How could a parent do that to their child? If I ever meet him or her I'll fucking kill them!!

Draco was angry but not at her, it wasn't her fault. None of it and he was about to tell her so when she pulled away and she ran up the stairs and she fell on her knees in front of her trunk and he followed her, he knew what she was about to do when she grabbed the box, he didn't understand it until he heard that buzz and he walked into the bathroom as she was crying and washing herself rubbing her skin raw as if she was dirty and he began to understand as he watched her, he began to see why she still had the bruises and how she seemed to be inclicting new ones over the old ones. he walked into the shower and took her hand.

She gasped as she looked at him, he was fully dressed in his school trousers and white shirt, he was getting soaked clean through and he stopped her hand before she used the vibrator. It clanked to the tile floor making an awful racket and he turned off the water. He just looked at her a moment and went to get her a towel as she shivered and cried and he wrapped her in it and carried her to their bedroom and sat her on their bed. He then knelt at her feet and took her hand in his and looked at her.

”Marry me Hermione, become my wife, if we can't have a baby we'll adopt. It's not your fault what he did to you is not your fault love, it's not. You feel dirty because of it, because your a woman who loves pleasure am I right? The pleasure stops the pain for awhile doesn't it? Every time you do this to yourself he wins.. He wins Hermione for making you feel this way, your stronger than this love, much stronger. And you have me I'm not going anywhere I promise you that.”

He told her tears rolling down his cheek as he looked at her. He for a moment got up and went to his trunk and he smiled quietly as he pulled out a small box and he knelt down again and looked up at her.

“It was my Mother's.. she would have wanted you to have it. She would have adored you,my Father.. fuck him I don't care what he would have thought about us, he can’t hurt us now. Even if he was alive, I don't care what he would have done to me, the only thing I would have been scared of was him hurting you. My Mum she would have been happy for us. She loved me and I never told her I loved her too, she knew I guess but I could never tell her. “

Draco hung his head a moment in shame as then he was surprised when Hermione raised his chin to look at her. As she did she was a crying mess but she nodded. He felt his breath leave him a moment as he looked at her.

“There is more but know I love you more than anything, know that I’m more afraid of you walking out on me and leaving me than you should be of me ever leaving you.. I've done things that aren't... That are horrible and all because of my Father. Because at one time I wanted to be him Hermione, I don't anymore. I'm not him and I can still hear him in my mind sometimes, it's his voice when I do something that would have displeased him, his voice that keeps telling me to avenge his death.. He wanted me to hurt you, to humiliate you and to just... I can't, I love you too much to not tell you everything, in the kitchen as I was making the tea he was telling me to not tell you, to be a man and live through the pain I have. It's not really him I know this but it's like he's my bad side, always the voice of my anger or .. I don't know how to explain except to say it's as if he's still alive inside me sometimes.

My Mother bless her is my conscience however the good part of me that makes me wake the hell up and kicks me in my ass when I do what my Father tells me, kinda like she did in life even. She died protecting me from my Father,she had a rare blood disease and she bled to death as he had hit her and I couldn't save her as I was being crucioed at the time..“

He willed her to understand as he looked at her. He could see that she was trying to understand.

Hermione understood all too well as she nodded as she listened to him. She understood the voice as if it was telling her what to do, as if her Father was calling her a whore every time she was happy and tried to take it away whatever happiness she had.

“I understand Draco, the voice at least, it's like with my own Daddy, I think it'll go away eventually if we totally accept each other. There’s more, both of us need to talk about, to bare our souls to each other. That's scary but I feel better you knowing and accepting me, tell me I won't leave you Draco. I love you too much for that.”

She told him as she then was enfolded in his arms and he just held her. Hermione shook her head as she told him after a moment.

“Baby, your getting the floor and bed soaked, how about we get you out of these wet things? Maybe we can.. we can share a bath? Maybe we can just relax alright it's a start and Yes, I'll marry you because I love you Draco.”

She told him as she caressed his face a moment. Draco grinned happily as he took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger. The ring fit perfectly and he kissed her knuckle as he smiled and she went to unbutton his shirt. As she did she kissed along his neck and he groaned as he pulled back a moment and he put his hand up a moment.

“ I have to tell you one more thing, this is really huge. I slept with Pansy the first night of term, it was right after your nightmare and.. I saw you in the shower, I saw what you were doing and I couldn't take it, I was angry and confused and I wasn't sure how much I cared about you that night not like I am now.

I went and I fucked her, the whole time I wanted you, I needed you but I also needed comfort. I wasn't satisfied though, I feel like such a monster because I used her and oblieviated her mind after wards.

I don't love Pans I never have, she has been one of my best friend for so long,now. We lost our virginity to each other and she's the only woman I have ever been with sexually,except for what you and I have done. My Father wanted us to get married, he wanted it and at the time I was fourteen the first time we.. Pansy isn't in love with me either she's in love with Blaise.

They aren't together cause he has a thing for you and it drives her crazy jealous. That's part of the reason why she acts like a bitch to you. She's.. it's a very long story but basically we turned to each other because no one else understood, because the pleasure was good for taking away the pain. It's not easy being a Death eaters child,nor is it being easy knowing your life is planned out before you are born and you have no say in it.

I'm so sorry, at the time I didn't think about what I was doing. I've been thinking about it lately and I feel terrible. I've hurt you for being that way, I don't love Pansy, it was a comfort thing, a need thing but I don't need her anymore.. I know that now. I need you I love you and only you Hermione..Can you please forgive me?”

Draco asked her as she got up and walked to the bathroom without a single word and he closed his eyes as he sat there a moment with his hands to his face and felt like crying. He stiffened as he heard her call out.

“Well aren't you coming Draco? Also I forgive you because I understand, maybe we should heal each other what do you think?”

She asked as she walked back in and she was carrying the vibrator but she had turned it off and she threw it in the garbage bin and looked at him.

“Anything else you want to get off your chest while the bath water runs? I think we both just need to talk to each other more, especially when we are uncertain about things.Also I want you to make me clean Draco..”

She told him as for a minute he didn't understand how she could be so forgiving but then he nodded and thanked whatever God there was that she was forgiving him. He took her hand and in minutes they were both undressed and relaxing in the tub, it was big enough for a few people and resembled a hot tub.

She lay her head on his chest as the water was warm around them and they just relaxed quietly together.

He caressed her hair slowly and softly as he kissed her forehead. After a moment their lips met and he was expecting her to pull back from him but she didn't this time. She moved to his lap and looked deeply in his eyes. Draco understood what she wanted as if he could read her mind. She nodded as he lifted them out of the tub and carried her to their bed and lay her beneath him. He kissed along her body slowly as she was moaning and begging him to take her.

Hermione pulled his head up to kiss her as she whispered in his ear.

“Make me yours Draco please.. make love to me,I need you baby please”

He kissed her softly a moment and he caressed her face, his eyes asking her if she was sure as well as his lips.

“Your sure you want me now? We could wait till we get married if you want. I want you to be ready,even if we have wait until school gets out for us to have intercourse, I can still please you and you already please me so much Hermione.. I'm willing to wait because technically if you think on it, your still a virgin because you would be giving yourself to me willingly.”

He told her as she still nodded and he smiled as he kissed along her collarbone. He flicked his tongue behind her ear knowing it was one of the places that drove her with want. He chuckled as he kissed her nose as Draco went down kissing over her breasts.Hermione moaned in pleasure as he did this, she was on the edge and as Draco kissed to her navel and he confessed to her.

“ I've only ever done this with you,for you. I love pleasing you, watching you feel what I'm doing knowing I'm giving you this pleasure. With you it's making love Hermione, I love you my Angel I always will and I'll always want you,need you even when we are old. Don't ever doubt it for a second love. Now I'm going to eat you until you are feeling weak and afterwards we can take a nap maybe or go to Hogsmeade and have dinner, you know maybe a real date?”

He asked her as she just looked at him with a smile and nodded as he just grinned back and he made her orgasm six times before he came by his own hand and lay next to her just holding her in his arms. Hermione lay with him, her head on his chest and she kissed over his chest gently as she just was happy. All thoughts of her being dirty began to fade as she smiled at him and she looked a moment at the ring he had given her and smiled. It was a diamond,however what intrigued her was the setting. It had what looked like two roses entwined and circling the stone as it held the diamond within in place.

“So when you want to get married? I always thought you know that summer weddings were passe, maybe around Yule time? Or before that whenever you want just as long as we're married love. I don't care when .. Is there anything special you want?”

Draco asked her as she for a moment was quiet but then she thought about it and she closed her eyes as she said.

“There is one thing I want to know, before or after we get married. I want to know who my real parents are,or were if they are dead. Why they gave me up Dray. I've always wondered about it. I'm not sure where to begin to look as Monica and Wendell didn't tell me much other than I was brought to them when I was two years old and I've thought about it, it would be around the near end of the first war with Voldemort. Maybe my parents were wizarding folk?”

She asked as he just kissed her forehead and hugged her closer to him a moment. He closed his eyes. As he did she just grinned and relaxed.

“It doesn't matter baby, your going to be Mrs Draco Malfoy, I'll be your family but we can look and see. If they were wizard's it would be easy to find out through your blood and if not then maybe we can go to the Granger's house and find your birth notice? Maybe it'll have something on there or we can find out however muggles find out if you really wanted to. Whatever it takes if you really want to know we'll find them.”

He told her this as he kissed her softly and she turned in his arms and surprised him by straddling his waist and looking down at him. As she did this she let out a calming breath and laid her forehead to his.

For a moment she just lay like that against him and he groaned as she looked at him with mischief and gave him a sexy smile. Ten minutes later Draco was feeling bliss as his girlfriend, no fiancee was coming back up to lay next to him after giving him a blow job that left him slightly quivering and he kissed her a moment and held it before he whispered.

“You know I love how you want to please me too, just know you don't have to do that if you don't want to, you never have to do anything you don't want to ever again love,But your so good at it too. I'm alright to wank a bit if you ..”

His words were cut short by her lips as she just kissed him silent and shook her head. As she did Hermione giggled a moment and she sighed happily.

“Your the first and only man I've ever done that to.. I actually like making you feel great Draco, so don't worry that it'll remind me of anyone else but you and pleasing you. I guess it's a good thing I like to read isn't it? Believe me I might be a good little girl but doesn't mean I didn't like to look at anatomy books and ok I have a subscription to PlayWizard..which i will cancel in the morning. “

Draco looked at her amazed as she confessed this to him and grinned and he snuggled her closer to him. As he did he just held her contently. She snuggled into him not caring they were both warm and naked as she decided to take his advice and take a nap with him. She fell asleep and he joined her soon after wards..

Hermione awoke to find a butterfly was perched on Draco's forehead as she looked at him, he was breathing gently lightly snoring,which was another positive thing she loved about him by the way and she smiled as she looked around and remembered he had said something about Butterflies but she had forgotten in their conversation and she was surprised to see that the sun was setting already. They must have slept for a few hours. Also her stomach was rumbling as she kissed him softly to waken him.

Draco groaned as he smiled and wrapped her in a hug a moment a Draco sighed and he just relaxed loving the way she felt in his arms.

Her stomach took that moment to make another rumble and he raised an eyebrow and chuckled as he kissed her.

“Come on let's get some dinner and maybe a nice romantic walk around the lake after wards? We can go to Hogsmeade tomorrow for a real date but right now I just want you close to me alright besides, I think that I could eat something I haven't been feeling very hungry lately..”

He admitted this as she got up and stretched and he enjoyed the view a moment before he smiled and he went over to his wardrobe and since it was a Saturday they could dress casually if they wanted to. They were dressed half an hour later after a few kisses in between different states of dress and walked hand and hand on their way to the Great Hall. A whole flock of butterflies of every color imaginable flew out the portrait behind them as Hermione had let them go and it had earned her a snog for five minutes.

She was happy as she went to sit at the Gryffindor table and Draco sat next to her. It was good to be in love and it showed on her face as Ginny and Harry and Ron who happened to come down to Dinner early saw them and Ron wasn't too thrilled with Hermione dating Draco still but when he saw her face, he had to admit she looked happy and they all ate quietly only with the occasional oi or watch the elbows. All in all it was good.

Ginny was the first one to notice Hermione's ring and gasped so loudly as she hugged Hermione and Draco chuckled. Soon everyone within the Great Hall heard the news and by the end of the night the whole school would know that Draco Malfoy had asked Hermione Granger to marry him.

And that she said yes..