Standing Against the Tides

Last time I looked at my driver’s license, it did not say J. K. Rowling. Yep, it’s just me, an unpaid and unknown aspiring writer. The characters of the Potterverse do not belong to me and I am making no money from this endeavor.

A/N: Spoilers through OotP. As I am still in denial, I refuse to acknowledge the events of HBP or DH at this point.

Unbeta’d as BabyGurl is busy with her own life.


Chapter 4 Shifting Loyalties

Mentally steeling himself, Harry forced himself to work on cleaning the numerous wounds he found on his professor’s back and further down on his buttocks. Unable to fathom the sick, perverted mind that would do such a thing to another human being, the young Gryffindor began cleaning the blood that was still seeping down the older man’s legs. Part of Harry’s mind was thinking that he really shouldn’t be surprised that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were so utterly sadistic, but another part was already putting pieces of the puzzle together.

As the young wizard cleaned and healed the evidence of the violent rape the Potions master had endured, Harry couldn’t help but come to the horrible conclusion that Dumbledore knew. Dumbledore knew what happened at these meetings and allowed it. All in the name of gathering information. Struggling to pull his wayward magic back in, Harry was determined to find out the truth of the matter. Now, more than ever, he was resolved to destroy the monster that was Voldemort. However, if his instincts were correct, the Headmaster would pay also for his part in the torture of one of his own people. For in the idealistic Gryffindor’s mind, allowing, no demanding that the proud Potions master return time and again to Voldemort amounted to complicity in the crimes committed against Severus Snape.

Applying the last of the healing salve, Harry stood up and draped the covers over his nude professor’s form. Thankfully the man had slept through most of the procedure. Harry gathered his now dirty and empty supplies and took them into the bathroom. The mindless task of cleaning up the basin and vials afforded the troubled young man the opportunity to calm his soul and his spirit. Putting away the last of the items, Harry shook his head at the direction his thoughts were taking. The tumultuous thoughts and emotions at least temporarily tucked away, Harry decided he needed to hear the truth from the Potions master before he would take action. Satisfied that he had found a reasonable solution for his current dilemma, Harry tiredly sat in the overstuffed chair that resided in front of the now merrily crackling fire. There was nothing more to do except to wait for the older man to awaken. Drawing a weary hand across his face, Harry only hoped that he had done a decent job of healing his professor’s many injuries.

Belatedly, Harry realized he hadn’t eaten since lunch, but after dealing with the aftermath of the Death Eater meeting, he didn’t think his stomach was up to handling food. Deciding that something to drink would be all right, though, Harry quietly rose and went to explore the Potions master’s chambers. Hoping to find a small kitchenette or at least a teapot or a bottle of butterbeer, the young man cautiously looked around the sitting room. Ah, there in the corner was an arch leading to a kitchen. Glad that he hadn’t had to look too hard through the acerbic man’s chambers, Harry opened the charmed icebox and pulled out a pitcher of pumpkin juice. The Gryffindor was immensely relieved that there were no noxious potions ingredients stored among the few food items in the icebox.

After finding a glass, Harry poured some juice and returned to the bedroom. He was pleased to note that the cuts and bruises were already beginning to heal, thanks to the potions and salves Harry had found. He didn’t know how long he sat there lost in his thoughts, but he found that his head snapped up at an unfamiliar sound. Blinking his eyes wearily, Harry focused on the man lying on the bed before him.


Severus fought his way up to consciousness. The part of his brain that governed his sense of self-preservation registered that he should remain absolutely silent and still, but another, more insistent part understood that he was indeed safe and secure. That part won out as the Potions master groaned in residual pain. A gentle hand on his arm responded to his cry and immediately the spy felt a sense of peace and calm pervade his spirit. Sighing in his state of half-awareness, Severus allowed the unknown person to placate his fears and misgivings. Slipping once more into slumber, Severus snuggled into the warm bedclothes covering him.

Harry shook his head as he watched the near-silent acquiescence from his formidable Potions master. He realized just how hurt the man was that he didn’t fight the situation, but simply allowed Harry to attend to his needs.


Harry jerked awake and tried to figure out where he was. Wiping the drool that gathered at the corner of his mouth, he adjusted his glasses and looking around, quickly remembered where he was and why. Standing cautiously, he checked on his professor, glad to see that the man seemed to be sleeping peacefully. If he were pressed to answer, Harry could not have told why he was so concerned about the Potions master’s well being. He only knew that it was important that the man would be all right and that those who were responsible for harming him were punished.

Sighing, Harry decided that he could use with some serious cleaning and he went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. He left the door slightly open so he could better hear if the older man needed anything while he was out of the room. Stripping quickly, Harry turned the shower controls to hot and stepped into the large space. Once again appreciating the convenience of magic, Harry was rewarded with instantly hot water. This was a luxury he could never indulge in at the Dursleys as they felt that anything that brought joy and comfort to Harry was by definition a bad thing. Of course they always used the excuse that hot water cost money they could ill afford, but given that the rest of them always spent as much time as they desired under the soothing waters, Harry knew the real reason for their reticence was to simply make life more difficult and miserable for him and him alone.

Nonetheless, life-long habit kicked in and Harry quickly finished his bathing. Grabbing a thick towel, he stepped back out of the shower and wished that he had clean clothing to change into. Blinking in astonishment, Harry noted the appearance of a clean set of his clothing. Shaking his head in bewilderment, the Gryffindor decided he would try to figure out the fortuitous turn of events later.

After having attended to all of his body’s needs, Harry reemerged from the bathroom to find that the Potions master was just slowly opening his eyes. Moving cautiously across the room, Harry quietly asked, “Are you all right, sir? Do you need a potion for pain?”

Obsidian eyes gazed at the young man uncertainly, as the Potions master tried to understand just why the Gryffindor was standing over him. Severus opened his mouth to speak, but only a rasping cough came out. He watched as Potter left the room, only to return a moment later with a glass of water. The boy carefully lifted his head and allowed Severus to take a small sip of the refreshing liquid. Standing back, the student waited patiently for his professor to speak.

“I have indeed been better,” was the weak reply.

Harry snorted; only Snape could be in such a shape but still insist on speaking so formally. Shaking his head, Harry picked up the pain potion and uncapped it for the injured man. Without a word, the older wizard allowed his student to dose him with the draught.

Turning back to his professor, Harry decided that he needed to know. Somehow, the answer he received would change everything; Harry was certain of that. “Sir, I am sorry for asking such a personal question, but I have to hear the truth. You were obviously raped.” Harry paused and ran a tired hand through his hair. He was afraid to hear the answer, but he pressed on, “Does Dumbledore know that this happens to you when you go to Vol – the Dark Lord?”