Jaded

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.

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Chapter Six: He loves me, he loves me not…

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The next morning found the five Gryffindor boys sitting bleary-eyed and yawning in the Great Hall for breakfast. Harry pocked at his food unenthusiastically while the others nearly dropped around him. He knew that Remus was in the infirmary and had made up his mind that he’d go and visit the boy as soon as possible. He also knew that his friends were going to trudge their way through classes and drop as soon as dinner was over. But Harry decided that he would take a little time to go visit Remus before first period, detention hazard or not. In the past month he learned that it didn’t really matter if he actually went to class or not, as he fully intended to go back to his time before he had to take the 1970's version of the NEWTs. Or at least he hoped he would.

As soon as the three got up on their feet and started trudging their way to the Divination tower, Harry quickly assembled a sandwich for Remus and started making his way to the Hospital Wing. When he reached the door he stood stock still for a few moments, gathering up his courage and trying to convince himself that nothing would please Remus more than seeing him right now.

He pushed the door slowly and peeked around it, trying to assess which was Remus’ bed. As it turned out it wasn’t very difficult as he was the infirmary’s only occupant at the moment. Harry tiptoed his way to the bed, keeping a vigilant eye in case Madame Pomfrey decided to pop out of her office.

When Remus heard the door opened he decided to keep his eyes closed. He’s been awake for a while now, but the mere thought of movement was making him tired so he didn’t bother. A soft pattering of feet was approaching his bed and he knew it wasn’t the matron. Only when the mystery person sat down by his bedside did Remus open his eyes to acknowledge them.

Harry smiled tentatively when he saw the beautiful golden eyes slowly open. He sat on the edge of his seat trying to look natural,

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked softly, Remus shrugged,

“Like every bone in my body was broken down then assembled back into something completely different, every inch of my skin split open to…”

“Ok!” Harry cried, raising his hand, “I get it…” Remus turned his head to the window, a smug smile on his face- grossing out James, Sirius and Peter had lost its charm long time ago, Peter being way too sensitive and Sirius and James way too resilient. “I brought you a bacon sandwich… Most of my memories from the infirmary, apart from skele-grow of course involved bad food.” Harry knew he was babbling but he couldn’t help himself, not when those eyes were back on him. Damn you James Potter and your inability to talk to people you fancy!

“Thanks, Jaime, you’re a life saver!” Remus cried happily and grabbed the sandwich from Harry’s hand. Harry watched in amusement the way Remus devoured the food. After he finished his sandwich, Remus daintily started licking the grease and crumbs off his fingers, Harry watched in fascination as the pink tongue wrapped itself around each digit, licking slowly and deliberately. He couldn’t avert his eyes; transfixed by the movements of that slick muscle and wondering what it would be like if that tongue was licking his fingers instead, how would it feel if it was his skin moistened by this sinfully skilful tongue. When the last finger left Remus’ mouth with a satisfying pop Harry seemed to have regained some of his composure and he gulped thickly, and fixed his eyes on the white sheet on the edge of Remus’ bed.

“So, when are you getting out of here?” He asked, eyes still fixed on the linen and fingers twiddling with uneasiness,

“Madame Pomfrey would probably discharge me near lunch time; she likes to keep me here until then on a weekday full moon. On weekends it's until dinner.” Remus said with a shrug. Not that he cared much, after all, being in the infirmary guaranteed him some alone time which was exactly what he needed after what he’s been through the previous night.

Harry looked like he was on the verge of saying something for the last couple of minutes but held himself back. Remus watched him with amusement, wondering when the boy would muster enough courage to say the words he wanted to say. He had picked up the boy’s scent as soon as Harry made his way into the Hospital Wing and the pheromones wafting from him would have sent a monk to an orgy. Remus found it rather amusing that the new kid was so obviously struggling and he thought he understood Lily better now. After all, she had to endure years of James’ babbling. It was true that at first Remus didn’t much think of the new guy, but even he couldn’t ignore the blatant and obvious arousal coming from him. And that was after Jamie learned that Remus was werewolf!

Remus shot a side-glance at Harry and sighed inwardly. He could not afford to mess up this chance, not when Harry was a wolf animagus, not when he was so shy and coy and starved for every bit of Remus’ attention, hell the boy even brought him a sandwich after the full moon- no one ever brought him a sandwich to the infirmary. Come to think of it, none of his friends ever came to visit him after the full moon. It was part not wanting to blow the cover of their knowledge and part sheer exhaustion after a night of running wild in the forest that usually sent them straight to their own beds. Yet Jaime was there, sitting by his bedside, looking at the white sheets as if they held the answer to all life’s mysteries. A sudden rustle was heard from the direction of Madame Pomfrey’s office and Harry’s head snapped up,

“Shit, I better split before she finds me here,” He whispered to Remus, “I’ll see you later.” And with a last fleeting smile at the door Harry was gone. Remus looked at the door for a long moment, lost in thought. Part of him wanted to be mad at Harry, for making his life more complicated than before, he didn't understand Harry's motives and that vexed him to no end. What reason does the new guy have to fancy him after he learned the truth? The only others who know the truth were his friends and they were more into mischief and breaking school rules than deep care for him, Remus. But Harry wanted him; he was concerned with Remus' well being…

Another part of him was over the moon with joy, because for the first time in his whole life Remus felt like he might have a chance to be happy. He could learn to love, he never did it before but he could learn- Jaime looked like someone who had obscenely huge amounts of love to give and he seem adamant on giving it all to Remus.

For the rest of the day thoughts of Jamie kept plaguing Remus. After his discharge from the infirmary he went back to the common room, fully intent on talking to Harry and find out what was really going on, only to discover that he had gone to the library with Lily. A big part of Remus was actually relieved that he didn't have to face Harry so soon, because he still needed time to process what he was really feeling.

The following weeks had been the hardest Harry had to endure in Hogwarts, both in his time and in 1977, it wasn't that his studies became harder or anything, in fact school-wise he was actually improving, it was the fact that Remus seemed to completely shut him out. Lily said that subtlety wasn't the way to approach the other boy, and Harry was all for charging head on into things but he never got a chance to do that. After that morning when he came to see Remus in the infirmary the teen werewolf ignored him completely. Harry was at his wits end as to what could have offended his crush so much- from some reason he doubted it was the sandwich he brought to the Hospital Wing. He tried to approach Remus several times, hoping to goad the latter into talking- hell even a shouting match like Lily and James had would be acceptable at this point; Harry was a desperate man in love.

To make matters worse, James took Lily to Hogsmede on a date that proved to be a smashing success. They soon became the 'new couple' around the Gryffindor tower, much to the delight of all the girls and the slight disappointment of the boys who were having tremendous fun over James' blunders. Harry was happy for his parents, he really was (well, he had to be, otherwise it would have put his own existence in jeopardy…), but it still stung to see them both acting like 'gooey love birds' as Sirius so accurately put it. It reminded him all the more of what he'd been longing for and been denied by reasons beyond his control.

It was a Monday morning towards the middle of November, when Harry trudged unenthusiastically to breakfast, not feeling in the least bit hungry after watching Remus joking and laughing with Sirius on the way down to breakfast while he was left behind to walk with Peter. He still couldn’t bring himself to be nice to the little rat and he long ago stopped forcing it and just settled for distant politeness. Which wasn't that bad since it seemed that Peter couldn't really stand him either. Just before they reached the doors of the Great Hall a voice called out,

"P… Har… New Gryffindor kid!" Harry turned around slowly, eyebrows raised in suspicion and hurt, to see Malfoy standing by the corridor leading to the dungeons with his usual haughty expression and a slight frown,

"Yes, new Slytherin kid?" Harry said as sweetly as he could, actually enjoying the discomfort he was causing Malfoy.

"We need to talk."

"Is that so?"

"Yes!" Malfoy snapped and before Harry could protest his arm was grabbed and he found himself being huddled into an empty classroom. Once the pressure was lifted from his arm, Harry stumbled a little and caught himself on a desk.

"What the hell was that for?" He cried out and rubbed his sore arm. Malfoy, who took a stand beside the teacher's desk turned slowly to face Harry. Any snapping comments Harry might had died on his lips when he saw the face of his nemesis.

"Look, Harry," Malfoy's voice was pained at the necessity of using Harry's first name, "I don't want to talk to you anymore than you want to talk to me, and believe me I would never even bother to acknowledge you if I had a choice."

"Well, that's really sweet of you…" Harry drawled and crossed his arms, leaning against the desk with a huff.

"Anyway, since we're the only ones who know that we're here, apart from that old coot who, by the way, is the most useless git I've ever had the misfortune to meet, we need to put our heads together and figure out how to get out of this hell hole!" Malfoy's words were making sense, in a way, Harry thought, they will have to return to their own time, and since there wasn't much to look forwards to in 1977 he figured Malfoy had a point.

"Yeah, I suppose. So what do you suggest we do? I mean Dumbledore said he was on the case."

"And you believe him?" Harry shrugged, it didn't really matter what he would say, Malfoy would sneer at him anyway. "I think we should try and get a message to our time."

"Really, should we send an owl or do you want to do it the muggle way?" Harry was rather amazed to see just how much sarcasm the pale Slytherin was dragging out of him,

"No, you twat! We use the library. I've been thinking about it and I think the best way would be if you left a note for your little bookworm mudblood to find."

"Not with that attitude I won't!" Harry cried and turned to leave the room. No matter what year he might be in, mudblood was not an acceptable term when talking about one of his best friends!

"Alright, alright, damn it! Relax Harry, I'm… sorry I used the 'M' word. Gods you Gryffindors are so touchy." Harry turned slowly, not quite believing his ears, did Malfoy just apologized to him, for calling Hermione a mudblood? Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse? He looked at Malfoy incredulously for a long moment, trying to gauge whether his ears were deceiving him or not, until the blond boy had enough, "Close your mouth, Scarhead; you're going to catch flies!" Malfoy snapped and Harry nearly sighed in relief.

"Ok, what was your genius plan again?"

"You write a note to the mud… Granger and tell her what's going on and send her to get help from the other side, and then we hide this note inside one of the library books. One that is bound to remain there in twenty years but is remote enough so that not just any jackass could find it, got it?" Harry nodded slowly, this sounded like a reasonable plan. A part of him was objecting it though, feeling rather reluctant to leave this time. He much preferred to let Dumbledore take his sweet time to solve this case because it would give him more time with Remus. But on the other hand, with the way things are currently going, he wasn't too sure that more time with Remus would lead to anything but a bigger heartbreak on his part.

"Yeah, I got it. But why don't you write the note to one of your cronies?"

"Because," Draco was trying to patient, he really was, you need the git's help he kept reminding himself, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his cool in face of such blunted thickness, "None of my friends know the library like the back of their bloody hand! They tend to leave this job to me."

"Alright, fine, whatever. I'll write that stupid note."

"Good, then I think we should meet somewhere out of sight to do it." Harry looked in slight shock,

"What do you mean meet somewhere? I am perfectly capable of writing a bloody note on my own!"

"Really? Well, I don't trust you; I want to make sure you put everything needs putting in and leave out everything that needs be left out." Harry could feel the start of a headache tugging behind his eyes and just sighed in registration,

"Fine, have it your way. When do you want to meet? And where?" Draco gave it a couple of moment's thoughts,

"How about here, say after dinner. We'll write it down and tomorrow we'll go put it in the library."

"Ok, see you then." Harry agreed and left before Malfoy could come up with other ways to insult him.


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A/N:

For all of you who are dying to see some action- don’t worry, it’ll come, I promise.

For all of you who’ve been wondering what’s going on with Draco- don’t worry, it’ll come, I promise.

For all of you who wanted to see Draco and Snape together- Go look for another story… not going to happen, I promise.