Love, Marriage, and Pranks

Love, Marriage, and Pranks


Hermione was beyond nervous as she and Fred walked along the school grounds. Her brain kept coming up with images of her with a nosebleed, vomiting different coloured slime. Her tongue ridiculously enlarged or lengthened, or her with rainbow coloured hair and skin.


An even more prominent image, which made her visibly shudder, was of her shedding canary yellow feathers all over the place after unknowingly eating a canary cream.


Fred saw her shudder and frowned as he noticed her sickly looking complexion. He asked in worry, “Are you alright Hermione, you gone practically green?” He wondered what was having this effect upon her. Surely, it was not due to him was it? He was not that repulsive to her, was he?


He asked jokingly, “Oh come on Hermione, I am not that repulsive am I? I figured I was the better looking twin actually.” He watched as her gazed instantly snapped to him.


She blushed slightly as she said, “No. Repulsive in my opinion would be Draco Malfoy, or Crabbe and Goyle.” She added, “It is just I am being suddenly plagued with images of myself being ill by your products.”


She quickly added as she saw the scowl that suddenly crossed his features. “No offence, but if you can test your products on first years or family members, who’s to say I won’t be on the receiving end constantly once we are married?”


Fred replied, “Actually George and I discussed that on the way here.” He added at her nod, “We figured seeing as Harry is a silent partner and he is going to be marrying George, that we could also make you one as well.”


He quickly added at Hermione’s incredulous expression, “I figured in order to prevent you and I from trying to put the other in the St Mungos ward for the criminally insane, that you could occasionally help come up with ideas, and maybe take care of the books in your spare time on the financial front.”


Hermione asked, “What you mean just the four of us together?” She added, “What about the fact both Harry and I want to become healers after we graduate from Hogwarts?”


Fred replied, “Easy, when you are not studying or at St Mungos, you could look over the books. That is only required at the end of each month. Usually I take care of them, but want to concentrate more on the inventing side of things.”


He added, “We were thinking you and Harry could help say, during Valentines, Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. Special occasions where we need to come with a product quickly for either one of those holidays.”


He concluded, “George suggest you and Harry could be each given a percentage of whatever you both help co-create with George and I. It is entirely up to you and Harry, although I would consider it.”


Hermione raised an eyebrow and asked, “Why would I want to consider that for?” She wondered how helping he and George come up with product ideas would be productive to her not ending up on the receiving end of one of their jokes.


Fred smirked and replied, “It may just work towards helping you avoid being the test subject; in less you ever fancy trying one of the products of your own accord.”


He concluded, smirking ever wider, as he saw her look of disbelief, “I promise to not use you as a test subject without your permission first, if in return you help me and George out during the holidays.”


Hermione grumbled and replied, “Okay fine, although it is definitely going against my better judgment.” She added, “Now that is out of the way, we need to discuss this ridiculous law.”


Fred snorted and stopped walking and remarked in a bland tone, “What is there to discuss, except for the fact this law is a bloody pain in the ass?” He rolled his eyes and added, “On the other hand, how about our freedom of choice has been taken?”


He started to pace and exclaimed in an incredulous tone, “Or maybe the fact some jackass at the ministry conducts tests that think you and I are the others perfect match. Like come on, what the hell is with that?” He concluded, “No offense, but both you and I know we have little to nothing in common.”


Hermione replied, “I know. I love to read and actually care about my grades and following the rules, while you on the other hand could honestly care less about any of that. You never even bothered to apply yourself.”


Fred glared and said, “Just because I never applied myself to my studies, does not bloody make you better than me, thank you very much, you bloody know it all bookworm.”


He added as he ceased pacing, “Do you really think George or I would be able to perform most of the charms or transfiguration work? Merlin, I can make a bloody love potion in my sleep.”


He added, “If we did not know how to even bloody brew certain potions needed for a lot of our products that are liquid form? We sure as hell do not have someone else making them. They are our products, and are made by us, no one else.”


He continued to rant, “I don’t need to sit some exam to prove to myself I can do something. Nor have some fucking stuffy nosed jackass telling George and me that we are capable of performing a piece of magic. I sure as hell like to think our products are evidence enough.”


He asked her coldly, “George and I have been experimenting since before our first year at Hogwarts. Why do you think that mom and the others used to complain about all the noise and explosions that would come from our bedroom?”


He glowered at her before she could open her mouth to utter a single word, and said, “We did not need to take our newts, they were not needed for what I and George wanted to do. We have never tested harmful products on anyone. If we did not know what we were doing our business would have never taken off like it has.”


He let out a deep and weary sigh and concluded, “I will marry you because I have no choice, nor do you. However, let me tell you this, and listen well. I will not put up with any patronizing all high and bloody mighty bullshit from you. I am not Ron who you can push around and argue with thank you very much. I highly recommend you remember that.”


With that said, he walked on ahead, not caring if she was following or not. He was far too busy silently seething and thinking, ‘How bloody dare her act as if she’s better than me and George. Who does she think she is, the snotty nosed little know it all bookworm?’


Hermione felt tears fill her eyes. She could not believe he had said all of that, least of all called her a know it all bookworm. He had never said or done anything like that before. But then again, she supposed she had no right to snub him as she had. She was no better then he and George, just because they never finished Hogwarts.


She knew he had made more than a few valid points. She knew it must have taken immense skill and intelligence to come up with the products they did, as well as continuing to run a successful business. The fact they were almost three years out of Hogwarts impressed her greatly.


She quickly ran to catch up with his long and angry strides. She needed to apologise.