la persistencia de la memoria

A/N: Ha! Another chapter…woohooo…I’m on a roll. However, I’m a little nervous about this chapter. It kind of took on a life of its own, so I’m not sure if it’s flowing right. I’m sure someone will let me know.

Thank you for all the reviews.


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Chapter 6:

Narcissa’s eyes snapped open and she stared at the darkened ceiling for several seconds. She hesitantly sat up, and looked around the room. Something had wakened her. Was it a noise? She moistened her lips and brushed a piece of her hair away from her face.

She’d often wake up for no reason, especially after Lucius had died, plagued by random thoughts or bouts of despair that her husband had destroyed their family and then had gone and left her. Despite Lucius’ decision to align them with the Dark Lord and subsequently condemned them to a life of servitude to a mad man and almost had her son killed, Narcissa had loved her husband. His death was both a relief and the most painful thing she had ever experienced.

Narcissa lay back down, determined to go back to sleep, but something was nagging at her, forcing her to remain awake. Her mind drifted to Draco, her precious son, and a sob escaped her. Draco was so lost without Harry. He had literally fallen apart in just a few days and not even his new daughter had been able to bring him out of his melancholy. Narcissa pushed away the nagging thought that Cassiopeia was a large part of his melancholy to being with. What mother did not fall deeply and immediately in love with their child? Narcissa was not able to understand what was plaguing her son.

Her worries continued to build, until she was unable to stay in the bed. She rose from the bed and pulled on her covering robes, before heading out into the corridor. The manor was so lonely, so empty, but she had wanted to keep it, if only for what it had meant to Lucius, to keep his ancestral home. But he was dead now, and Narcissa had toyed with the idea of leaving the manor. Draco wanted no part of the place, but perhaps Cassiopeia would want to live her one day. She would never know the taint, poison and death that had shattered these majestic halls.

Narcissa flowed down the long banister to the front step and then she stopped dead in her tracks.

Something was wrong.

She pulled her robes tighter around her and then hurried to the closest floo. She fought the urge to simply apparate to Draco’s home, knowing he would be very angry if she just popped up in his bedroom in the middle of the night. She knelt down in the front of the hearth and tossed in the powder.

“Draco Malfoy”, she called out and the flames soared and a few moments later she was looking into the various rooms of Draco’s home that had hearths. But Draco wasn’t in any of them until the floo rotated to the bedroom. Narcissa frowned as she saw a hand and a head full of unrecognizable hair laying in front of the heart.

“What in the world?” Narcissa said aloud and pressed in closer to see better. Her eyes caught sight of her son’s legs, dangling from the bed. Narcissa gasped and immediately stood up. Had some strange man come in and attacked Draco? But then her alarm would have went off is he was physically harmed like that. What was going on?

She apparated into his bedroom.

And was immediately overwhelmed by smoke. Narcissa began to cough and she stared in horror at the fire racing around the room. She turned to Draco and saw that his pants were down and his penis was splayed out for the entire world to see. She quickly reached for her wand and silently cursed when she realized that in her haste to get there, she had forgotten it.

She gave a moan and rushed to Draco’s side.

“Draco? Draco!” She shook him hard and his head lolled drunkenly to the side. Despite the smell of smoke, Narcissa could still detect the strong scent of alcohol. Narcissa uttered a sharp gasp and shook him harder.

“Draco Malfoy! Wake up, now!” Draco didn’t move and for a moment fear gripped her. Was he dead? Had the smoke taken him? Narcissa then began to search his body and found his wand in his sleeve. She also didn’t understand his desire to wear Muggle clothes, but had to admit that he looked good in them. She pointed the wand at him and shouted, “Ennervate!”

Draco shot upright and stared around the room. He coughed violently and then focused in on his mother. “Mother? What are you doing here?” He then noticed the fire consuming his bedroom and he jumped up. “What the-“

“Put the fire out, Draco!” Narcissa snapped, “And wake that lump of a sod!” She pointed at the bulky man still lying on the floor.

Draco stared at the man and then looked down at himself. His limp cock hung out of his unzipped jeans. He hastily shoved himself back in and zipped up and then pointed his wand at the flames and shouted, “Aguamenti!”

Water flowed from his wand and onto the flames. The fire hadn’t spread too far, but the wall was damaged and some of the carpet was smoldering. It wasn’t long before the fire was out and Draco sank back down on the bed. He glanced at his companion and then looked at his mother.

“Mother, I…he needs to be obliviated. I don’t know if I can do it right.” Draco’s voice sounded small and Narcissa pursed her lips in exasperation.

“For Merlin’s sakes, Draco! What were you doing?” Narcissa asked, though she already knew the answer. “How did this fire happen? You could have died! Thank Merlin Blaise took Cassiopeia!”

Draco looked towards the nursery and bit his lip. He slowly stood up and Narcissa turned to stare at him. His look of uncertainty was enough to galvanize her into action. She whirled around and raced into the nursery. Draco sank back down on the bed when he heard his mother’s cry of anguish.

“Draco! My god…the baby was here! All of this time??”

Draco lowered his head as his mother rushed back into the bedroom, holding Cassiopeia tightly in her arms.

“What have you done?” Narcissa cried out, “She’s burning up! Why didn’t you tell me she was sick! Why are you treating this baby this way?”

Draco looked up at her and swallowed the lump in this throat. His mother stood before him, looking every bit of the avenging angel from some story book he remembered from childhood. Only her wrath was even more terrifying then any child’s fairy tale.

“Answer me!” Narcissa shouted, as she clung to the baby like she was life itself. “You brought this beautiful baby into this world and you are trying to destroy her!”

Draco jumped up and shouted back, “I didn’t want this! I didn’t ask for her! She was forced on me, but no one cared about that!”

Narcissa paled and staggered back. “You didn’t want her? How could you not want her, Draco! She is part of you, of our family! She’s part of Harry! How could you not want that?”

“Because she was going to take Harry away from me!”

“What?”

“From the moment he found out about her, he was different! He only cared about her, not me! That’s all he talked about…”the baby, this, the baby,that”, it’s like I didn’t exist for him anymore. Like I was just a vessel to carry his seed in. She was everything to him! She replaced me!”

Narcissa stared at her son. Oh, sweet Merlin, what had the Dark Lord done to her son? Had everything he went through as a child turned him into this insecure and terrified man. This was all her fault. And Lucius.

“Harry loved you, Draco! Did you expect him not to love his child too? Did I really raise you to be this selfish? We never treat family this way!”

Draco gave a short bark of a laugh. “Are you serious, Mother? Did you raise me to be selfish? You both told me that I was a Malfoy! That everything was ours for the taking and no one was better than us! But look at that! I was bested by a half-blood named Harry Potter in everything! And his Mudblood friend Granger was smarter than everyone! And then what? We sided with a mad-man who killed people in our dining room and feed them to his snake! And we lost, Mother! And Father died a raving lunatic shouting about how important we still were and that the Malfoy name meant something! What did it mean, Mother? It means nothing!”

Narcissa reached out and slapped Draco hard across the face. His hand went up to hold his stinging cheek and he turned away from her, and walked over to the fat bloke on the floor.

“Our name still means something, Draco. It is the name that you are giving to this baby here. She is a Malfoy. And until you recognize that, I’ll be taking her. She doesn’t deserve this. She is innocent, Draco! She’s just…a..a…baby.” Narcissa’s breath hitched and Draco turned to look at his mother. His heart tore when he saw the tears run down her face. He never wanted to hurt his mother. He walked back towards her but she turned away.

“You will pack up the baby’s things and send them to me.” She looked hard at her son then. “If you do not get it together, I will file for permanent custody of my granddaughter. I will raise her to be proud of her heritage.”

“Mother, please…I’m sorry…”

“And you will figure out what to tell Harry about this new arrangement. I’m sure he will find this very interesting.”

Draco gave a sigh and sat down on the bed again. Narcissa headed towards the floo and then stopped. She turned and looked at Draco. She then gave a huff, marched back over to him and took his wand from his hand. She pointed it at Draco and quickly cast a Disillusion spell. The blond

She then pointed it at Tank-man.

“Ennervate!” The man gave a low groan and tried to sit up. Narcissa pointed the wand at him again. “Obliviate!”

She turned and handed the wand back to Draco. “I help my family. That’s something else the Malfoy’s do.”

She walked to the floo again and tossed a handful of powder into the hearth and disappeared in the flames.

Draco reached out and grabbed Tank’s hand and disapparated. He dumped the groggy man in the alley behind the club where he’d found him and returned home.

When Draco arrived back into his bedroom, he stared at the damaged wall and carpet. The fire hadn’t spread too far, but if his mother hadn’t come, then he could’ve died. And Cassiopeia. Harry would never have forgiven him if something had happened to the baby. But as he thought about it, he knew he didn’t want her to die either. The baby was helpless and Draco would never forgive himself either if she had been seriously injured under his watch.

Maybe this was for the best, his mother taking Cassiopeia. She had always wanted a daughter, so now she had one. Sort of. Draco was in no shape to take care of an infant, that much was abundantly clear.

Draco crawled back onto the bed and reached for the vial of Dreamless Sleep the hospital gave him. He drank the whole vial and fell back on the covers. He just wanted to sleep and not think about anything.

But as his eyes closed, all he saw was Harry’s face.


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Harry sat in the Muggle pub, quietly stirring his cup of cocoa. His mind was whirling with the information Healer Garretson had told him. She was the principal healer for the auror division and it was up to her to clear everyone for full duty. Harry and the healer got on well, mainly because he had spent numerous times in her office. They were on a first name basis.

But today, she did not clear him for duty. Not only did she not clear him, but she put him on an indefinite leave of absence. He couldn’t so much as even pick up a file to read with that sort of status. Harry had spluttered in outrage at her assessment, but Garretson hadn’t budged. She then handed him an official referral to the St. Mungo’s outpatient spell damage clinic. With all that was going on with him; the destroyed relationship with Draco, his new fatherhood, the gap in his life, she felt it was the appropriate next step in getting his life back.

“It’s for your own good, Harry,” she said kindly, but firmly. “You won’t be any good to anyone at work with all of this going on in your life. You need to re-establish yourself and work with the mind healers to see if any of your memories are going to come back. If not, then you will have to accept that and build from there.”

Harry had ungraciously snatched the referral and stomped out of her office.

And here he sat, drinking cocoa like the little kid he had regressed into, pouting in a Muggle pub. But he brightened when he saw the flash of ginger hair enter the pub. He stood up and waved as Ginny’s eyes landed on him. She approached his table with a weak smile.

“Hi Harry,” Ginny said quietly, as she sat down across from him. “How are you?”

Harry gave her a smile. “Much better now that you’ve come. I didn’t think you’d show up.”

Ginny lowered her head. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to. But I heard you were supposed to have your fitness appointment today, so I wanted to see how it went.”

Harry fiddled with his cup. “Yeah, I had my appointment today with Garretson. She won’t let me go back to work.” He gave a deep sigh.

Ginny made a face and said, “Oh, I’m sorry, Harry. But it won’t be forever right? What else did she say?”

“She’s sending me to the spell damage clinic. I have to start working with mind healers to see what memories they can find or whatever.” Harry gave a shrug. “They might not find anything.”

Ginny nodded. “I see. And was she able to tell you why your memory changed?”

“No, and neither could St. Mungo’s. They didn’t find a Memory Charm on me or anything. Just the residual of the Blasting Curse and that was it.”

Ginny looked sad for a moment and then looked up at Harry and said cautiously, “And how is Draco?”

Harry pursed his lips. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Harry, you’re going to have to talk about this. You can’t keep avoiding it. He’s going to try and take Cassi away because of me.”

Harry’s eyes shone with anger. “And I told him he would lose that fight. I went to see him yesterday. Zabini let me in, believe it or not. I told Malfoy that I was going to start coming for more regular visits and that I eventually wanted a more permanent arrangement for custody after I found a place to live.”

Ginny blinked at Harry, startled by this piece of news. “You’re looking for a new place to live?”

“Of course. I can’t live with Ron and Hermione forever, can I?” He then reached across the table to hold Ginny’s hand. “And hopefully, you will be willing to come and stay with me…for visits of course.”

Ginny swallowed audibly as she stared down at Harry’s hand on hers. She looked back up into hopeful green eyes. “Harry, I don’t think that you should rush that decision. It’s a big step.”

Harry made a face. “I’m not twelve, Ginny. It’s a house. It’s not the first time I’ve had one.”

“But…what about…Draco?”

Harry pulled away from Ginny angrily. “What about him? He has a house! A very nice one, I must say.”

“Harry, please…don’t get angry. That’s your home too. Do you really want to just leave it?”

“Yes, I do. It’s not my home, not anymore. It’s Malfoy’s home. And I think it would be best if I don’t stay there,” Harry retorted, “and you sound like he did. He actually said I could still live there but in a separate room or something. Imagine how he would act if you came over or something. No, Ginny. It’s not going to happen.”

“I wouldn’t even think to do something like that, Harry! That would be…too cruel.”

“Why do you care so much for Malfoy’s feelings? He never cared about yours. Why does it matter so much to you?” Harry asked.

Ginny turned to look out of the window and gazed at the people walking on the street. When she answered, she said it so quietly that Harry had to lean over to hear her.

“I was Draco, Harry. I know how it is to lose something that you love so much, to something that’s not anyone’s fault. That’s the worst kind of loss. Where you can’t even blame anyone or anything for it.” She fixed Harry with an intense stare. “You don’t remember it, but Draco was amazingly respectful to me during that time. I think you probably threatened him with death if he didn’t, but he never once insulted me after we broke up. I think it would have finished me off if he had. That one small piece helped me more than anything.”

Harry sat back and focused on his cold cup of cocoa. Every time someone talked about Malfoy, they revealed sides and pieces of him that Harry didn’t think existed. But then the Malfoy he saw was still argumentative and unreasonable and Harry just couldn’t connect the two together. But Hermione kept telling him it was because Malfoy was in love with him and couldn’t accept the abrupt end of their relationship.

“Ginny, I’m…sorry. I didn’t know. I just wanted to know why you worried about how he felt, that’s all.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Harry. And if you ever bothered to find out, you might re-think what you’re doing here.”

Harry’s head snapped up. “I know what I’m doing here! I meant what I said about us. I want us to work things out and get back together. I love you…I do.”

“Harry, I wish that I could believe that. I want so much to believe you, but…you’re working with only half the story.”

“Ginny, I probably won’t get my memory back, so what do I do then? Just let you go and marry someone else that you might not want to be with?”

Ginny’s eyes flashed with irritation. “I loved Dean, Harry! He wasn’t just some poor replacement for you! I still love him, despite this…” She waved her hand between the two of them. “I just happened to love you first, but I’ve always cared about Dean. So don’t try to make it out to be some school girl crush!” She rose from the table angrily, but Harry stood up quickly and grabbed her arm.

“Ginny, Ginny…I’m sorry. I’m an arse. I didn’t mean that at all!” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t know what to do here. I know this is horrible for you. And I never should have approached you like I did. I still jump head first into everything, don’t I?” Harry sighed deeply and wanted to punch the wall. He could be so stupid sometimes. He really didn’t want to hurt Ginny, but it seemed that nothing he did or said was the right thing.

Ginny looked slightly mollified by Harry’s acknowledgment of his donkey-like ways. She nodded slowly and a small smile spread across her face.

“Yes, you are an arse. And you say the worst things. And you still jump in head first just like in school. You haven’t grown up at all. Just got older.”

Harry quirked a smile and Ginny leaned into him. “I know you didn’t mean that, Harry. I know that you are really trying to get your life back.” But then she pulled away from him and gazed at him seriously. “But the problem is it’s the life that you are trying to get back to. You already have a great one. We can’t top that one. We tried once and it wasn’t the one-“

“We can fix it! Whatever was wrong, we can do it right. You just have to tell me the things that I don’t remember right now. I’ll make sure I won’t do it again.”

Ginny sighed. How do you tell someone not to be gay and fall in love with their soulmate?


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Harry and Ginny arrived at Andromeda’s home later that evening. Teddy hadn’t been home since the start of term in September and Harry had wanted to see him. He had brought Ginny along with the idea of re-incorporating her into his life. The red-head had come along willingly enough. She did enjoy Teddy’s company and since he was home for the holidays, it was nice to go and visit. The thirteen year old was as fun and kind as his parents had been.

“Harry!” Andromeda cried, as she hugged the man to him. “It’s so good to see you! I’m so sorry that I didn’t have a chance to come to the hospital to see Cassi! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Andromeda. She’s beautiful.”

“I’m sure she is. I can’t wait to see her. Cissy is bringing her around tonight. This is wonderful.”

She gestured Harry into the house and then smiled at Ginny. “Hello, Ginny. It’s been a long time. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Missus Tonks. Thank you.”

The pair began to remove their cloaks and suddenly a whirlwind of activity blew through the hallway and Harry was full of a purple-haired teenager.

“Harry, Harry!” Teddy shouted, full of excitement, “Guess what? I’m a chaser now! Hortens got hurt and won’t be able to play, so they had an emergency try-out and I got the position! I’m on the team!”

“That’s wonderful, Teddy!” Harry said, smiling broadly. But then he frowned slightly. “Ohhh…Teddy, I’m sorry…what…House are you?”

Teddy pulled away from Harry and frowned at him. Then he looked at his grandmother. “Ohhh…you don’t remember that? I’ve only been at Hogwarts for three years, and you can’t remember from five?”

“I’m really sorry, Teddy. I don’t mean to not remember it…it’s just…”

“It’s okay, Harry. It’s not your fault. I’m in Slytherin. Just like Draco was. Where is he anyway?”

Harry flinched and Ginny looked down at the floor. From the look on Andromeda’s face, she obviously knew that Harry and Draco were having problems. She also had not told him about the breakup.

“Uhhhh…Teddy, why don’t you go and set the table for dinner. Aunt Cissy will be here very shortly with Cassi.”

“Okay!” And Teddy bounced off and disappeared into the kitchen.

Harry gave a small chuckle. “I see he hasn’t lost any of his energy. Slytherin? How did that happen?”

Andromeda shrugged. “He’s quite ambitious. Wants to be a famous auror like his god-father.”

The floo sounded and a voice called out, “Andromeda?”

Andromeda smiled and hurried into the parlor. Harry turned to Ginny, but the red-head looked distressed.

“Ginny? What’s wrong?”

“Harry, it’s Narcissa Malfoy! I think I should go.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Ginny. I want you here. And just like her son, she needs to accept certain things.”

He walked into the parlor and saw Narcissa handing the baby to Andromeda, who was cooing with delight. Narcissa was removing her cloak and looked up and saw Harry. She froze for a moment and then continued to take of her robe. Teddy rushed out of the kitchen and gave Narcissa a hug.

“Hi Aunt Cissy! Is that Cassi? Can I see her?”

“Hello, Teddy. Yes, that is Cassiopeia. And yes, you may see her.”

Teddy went to peek at the baby and Narcissa fixed Harry with a look.

“Good evening, Mister Potter.”

Harry nodded slowly, “Good evening, Missus Malfoy.”

Narcissa handed her cloak to Teddy, who took off with it and disappeared again. As he left the room, Ginny slowly entered the room. Narcissa’s eyes widened almost unnoticed, but she immediately closed off her expression.

“Miss Weasley.”

Ginny gave her a smile. “Hello, Missus Malfoy, how are you?”

“I am well, thank you. But I will now be quite busy. Little Miss Cassiopeia will be staying with me at the manor, for a time.”

Harry had been taking the baby from Andromeda, but he turned when he heard the conversation.

“Cassi will be at the manor with you? Why? And when did you decide this?”

Narcissa looked uncertain for a moment, but then drew herself up. “Yes, Cassiopeia will be at the manor. She will have more support there while Draco…recovers from the birth.”

“And neither one of you felt the need to let me know this?” Harry asked sharply.

“I’m letting you know now,” Narcissa said just as sharp, “just as I’m sure you haven’t let Draco know of your date this evening.”

Harry handed the baby back to Andromeda and then crossed his arms. “And has Draco let you know of his recent activities? He’s doing quite fine. My date this evening is none of his business.”

Narcissa blinked and then gave a small conceding smile. “Yes, of course. Your business is your own. I meant no offense.”

Harry couldn’t hide his surprise at Narcissa’s easy defeat. He raised his hand to show he was not angry. “Please, I don’t want to fight with you. I want to get along for Cassi’s sake.”

Narcissa nodded and said, “Of course. Cassiopeia is the most important here. Let us make arrangements for when you will visit the baby at my home.”

Harry relaxed slightly and sat down on the couch next to Andromeda, who was delighted with Cassi. Ginny went to help Teddy in the kitchen, unnerved under the icy gaze of Narcissa. The blond matriarch, knowing which battle to fight and which one to step away from, had quickly assessed the situation between Harry and Ginny.

She could tell that Ginny was not whole heartedly committed to the ill-advised stroll down memory lane with Harry. Narcissa saw the way Ginny looked at Cassiopeia, with trepidation and sadness. Ginny would not be the first to give Harry a baby, if things ever progressed to that point. There was something to be said for giving a loved one their first child. And Ginny did not have the same intense, possessive look in her eyes the way she did before. Narcissa knew when love had run its course, and Ginny had finished that race.

Her son would get Harry back.


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It was almost a week before Draco got up the nerve to apparate to the manor and face his mother. Narcissa had not called on Draco since the fire, but she had her personal house-elf, Ellie, provide reports to her on Draco’s well-being. She was extremely concerned by what Ellie told her. Draco had not left the house all week and had alternated between drinking potions or alcohol.

Narcissa was sitting in the sun room, enjoying some tea and a scone with Cassiopeia, who was gurgling happily in the bassinette next to her, when Draco walked into the room. She turned her head when he entered and casually put the scone in her mouth. Draco stood in the center of the room, and watched her while she chewed. When she swallowed, she took a sip of tea and took in Draco’s appearance.

He looked sick. The baby weight he had gained seemed to have dissolved from him, leaving him gaunt and pale. He had left his hair loose, most likely in the failed attempt to hide his face as much as possible. Narcissa could see the darkened shadows under his eyes and her heart ached for him. No mother wanted to see her child suffer so much.

“It’s nice to see you out, Draco,” Narcissa said, “Cassiopeia is feeling much better. She was catching a cold.”

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear that.” Draco said honestly, as he cast a cautious look into the baby bed. Cassi turned her head and focused on Draco. She gurgled again and reached her hand up to Draco. Draco swallowed hard and put his hand inside the crib. Cassi’s small fist touched his hand and she cooed loudly. He closed his eyes and fought back the horrible guilt he felt at almost getting her killed. He pulled his hand away and ignored the small wail that emanated from her direction. He wasn’t worthy of this.

Narcissa watched the small interaction between mother and child. If only Draco could see how much Cassi wanted her father. This baby was so special and she so desperately wanted Draco to bond with her. She definitely had Harry’s temperament, because she had stubbornly refused to give up trying to reach out to Draco.

Draco sat down in the opposite seat. Ellie appeared and bowed low. “Master Draco, would you like something to eat?”

Draco shook his head and the elf eyed him doubtfully. “Master needs to eat. Tippy is telling Ellie that he is not eating at home either.”

Draco scowled at Ellie and pointedly ignored his mother’s glare. “Bring him some fresh fruit, Ellie.”

The elf nodded and disappeared and Draco sank back into his chair. He looked at his mother. “I’m sorry, Mother. For what I said and for what happened. I know our name is important. I am proud of being a Malfoy. I…don’t know what I was saying.”

Narcissa gave him an even look. “Yes, I do agree with that. Fondness of drink often has that effect.”

Draco lowered his head and Narcissa leaned forward. “Draco, I’m very happy that you came today. I’ve been very concerned. You need to…talk to someone. About what has happened to you.”

Draco frowned. “What?”

Narcissa took a deep breath and said, “I think you need to see a mind healer. I think that…this birth was very hard on you. Not only physically, but emotionally. You’re a wizard who had a baby, Draco. That has changed you. No man can say that. You’re not…taking to Cassiopeia very well.”

Draco stood up and began to pace the room. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you. You want me to go to a mind healer? You think that I’m crazy or something?”

“No, I don’t think you’re crazy, Draco. I just think that maybe you need some support for dealing with all of this. And then your break-up with Harry has certainly caused you some stress. There is nothing wrong with talking to someone.” Narcissa said quietly.

Draco whirled around to face her. “As if you would ever do such a thing.”

Narcissa lifted her head proudly. “As a matter of fact, I did.”

Draco couldn’t keep his mouth from falling open as he stared at his mother. “You talked to a stranger about our family?”

“Yes, Draco. I did. It wasn’t too long after I got married. It was when my mother forbade me to speak to Andromeda after she married the Muggleborn. I loved my sister and her betrayal to our family hurt very much. But I wasn’t ready to cut her off as if she didn’t exist. I was upset about it, and Bella didn’t help matters at all, with her constant haranguing of both of them. When she was burned from the tapestry, I…needed to talk about it, but no one wanted to speak on it. Mother was angry and bitter and Father just pretended like he only had two daughters. So I consulted a healer, one who was in France. I had two sessions, but it made me feel a bit better.”

Draco shook his head. “I’m not talking to any bloody healer! I’ve had enough with healers! It’ll be all over the Prophet. No. And there is nothing wrong with me! Harry is the one who needs to see a healer. He’s the one who’s lost his mind and denying what he really is and who he wants to be with! You should tell him that!

“I’m not denying that Harry should also talk to a healer. But this is not about him, but about you.”

Draco crossed his arms and scowled but was interrupted by a house-elf.

“Mistress, Harry Potter is here for Miss Cassiopeia.”

Draco dropped his arms and said, “How did Harry know she was here?” The look of betrayal on his face almost caused Narcissa to flinch, but she kept her face impassive.

She delicately picked up her cup of tea. “I told him she was here. I saw him at Andromeda’s the other night. I decided to tell him the truth. He’s her father.”

“Did you tell him about the fire too? I thought you wanted me to tell him.”

“Tell me what about what fire?” Harry’s voice called out and Draco clenched his fists without turning around.

Narcissa gave the auror a small smile. “Mister Potter, you’re a bit early for your visit, are you not?”

Harry looked a bit sheepish for a moment, then nodded. “I’m sorry. I finished my business early. I hope that you don’t mind.”

Narcissa put her hand out towards the baby. “There has been no irrevocable harm done. I will leave you to spend some time with her.” Narcissa nodded to her son, giving him a stern look that meant “please act properly”. She left the room.

Draco turned to face Harry. “Well, I mind,” he snarled.

Harry ignored Draco as he bent over Cassi’s bed. “Well, this isn’t your house now is it? Not any more, anyway. And your mother and I have made an arrangement.”

Draco took a step forward and Harry frowned at him and pulled Cassi closer to him. Draco’s eyes were wide and his hands were still clenched in fists so tight that his skin was ghostly white.

“You didn’t consult me about this arrangement, Harry,” Draco said sharply, “I am the parent who is taking care of her.”

Harry turned to face Draco then. “Well it seems that your mother is now the one taking care of her. Which makes me wonder why that is. What fire were you talking about when I walked in?”

“That’s not your concern.”

Harry bristled and Cassi squirmed in his arms. He gently laid Cassi back down in the crib and turned back to face Draco.

“It is my concern if you have put Cassi in any harm. And the fact that she is staying here with your mother makes me all the more convinced that you aren’t taking care of her properly.”

“You don’t know anything that’s going on, Harry, because you refuse to be a part of our lives!”

Harry cocked his head “I haven’t refused to be a part of your life! I’m just not going to be in a relationship with you. But I said I would be friends with you and I want to take care of Cassi. You’re the one who refuses to hear anything but what you want.”

“It’s what you want too, but you just won’t accept it! You don’t even want to consider that we had something. How is that fair to me? How is it fair to her?” He pointed at the baby.

“That’s low even for you,” Harry hissed, “to use her against me like that. I’m done talking to you about this, Malfoy. You’ve been using her as a weapon against me since she was born. I’m going to my solicitor to see what I can do for visitation. Ginny and I can be a more stable force in her life.”

“I knew it! You’re going to try and take her and raise her with Weasley? No fucking way, Harry! She’s our baby! Mine and yours! You can’t do that!”

Harry sighed upon hearing the desperation in Draco’s voice. He was so tired of fighting with Malfoy, and it had only been a few weeks. How long was this going to go on?

Harry turned around and suddenly found his arms full of the blond. Draco had grabbed his face and pressed his mouth against Harry’s. Harry gasped and his mouth opened. Draco pressed harder, and wrapped his arms around Harry, pushing him against the wall. Harry sagged against the weight and Draco deepened the kiss. Harry couldn’t seem to get a handle on the situation and he realized that he had not pushed Draco away. Upon that realization, he put his arms up and pushed the blond away. Draco fell back with his face flushed and his lips swollen. The two men stared at each other.

Harry spoke first, “Don’t ever do that again.”

“What am I supposed to do, Harry?” Draco whispered, “Tell me what I’m supposed to do now.”

Harry raised a hand to his lips, still feeling the tingling sensation of Draco’s lips there. That wasn’t supposed to be like that.

“I don’t know,” Harry said after a while, his mind reeling that he had not been completely disgusted by Malfoy kissing him. “I don’t know…” He was hit with the overwhelming need to get out of that room. He all but fled from the space And away from Malfoy. So much for Gryffindor courage.

Draco turned around slowly and walked over to the crib. Cassi had fallen asleep and she was curled up into a small ball. Draco was struck by how much she looked like Harry at this moment. The Harry that had just walked out of his home and out of his life. If Harry didn’t get his memory back, Draco knew that Harry would never come back to him. Draco also knew that his heart was not going to be able to take Harry marrying Weasley and having a life with someone else. This baby sleeping here in the crib, deserved to have a parent that loved and could take care of her. Draco finally realized that he was not that parent.

Draco felt the blooming pain of despair sweep over him. It took his breath away, it was so merciless and deep. He tried to catch his breath, but the crushing weight only got stronger. He apparated back to his house and headed over to the bedside table. He pulled the drawer open and saw several vials of the Dreamless Sleep potion. Draco didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to feel. He just wanted oblivion. His hand shook as he opened three of the vials and downed them. When he didn’t feel the effects right away, he downed the remaining vials. Seven in all.

The effect was immediate after that. Draco didn’t make it to the bed, but collapsed on the floor in front of the nightstand. As he fell, he hit his head on the front of the stand and his head split in a vicious, jagged cut. The blood spurted from the wound and began to pool on the carpet, ruining it.

Draco didn’t feel a thing. Just as he wanted.