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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
9
Views:
4,086
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, its characters or its settings. I am not getting paid for this or making any type of profit from it. I'm just having some fun.
Chapter 6
A/N: So I'm totally spoiling you guys right now with all these updates. haha But I should warn you that they won't be coming so quickly once we get to Chapter 9 (that's all I have written so far.. AHH, I know!) I'm writing so many different stories right now that I can't focus on just one. But I will try as best I can. :) Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed!
hieisdragoness18: Yep, he is. And we'll actually be seeing Blaise a few more times in this story. I'm working with a few ideas right now about him and this whole mess... so we'll see what my mind comes up with! :) Thanks for your constant reviews, by the way. I do appreciate them!
thrnbrooke: haha Here it is!
paigeey07: :) Thanks! I'm so glad you're still liking this story. Thanks for all your reviews!
Jess: I'm so glad you stopped by to give my story a chance! And yay for thinking it's great so far. I do hope you will continue to like it. :) I'm so happy to know that you like how I portrayed Harry. I thought this side of him would be fun to read and write. And yes, Draco is the cutest. lol And here's your update. Hope you like! :)
*****
“I mean what were you thinking?” he yelled, causing me to cringe a little.
I was sitting on my bed, staring over at the fireplace in our room, as Kingsley continued to scold me. Yeah, it probably wasn’t best to tell him that Malfoy wasn’t here. But I was cornered, and I just couldn’t think fast enough. I am still recovering from my earlier episode, you know. Damn. I was going to have to tell him that, too, wasn’t I?
Kingsley had appeared about an hour after Malfoy left, to tell me there were some Muggles here who had witnessed a “disappearing act” at a local bar. It really wasn’t that strange for Kingsley to know about these issues. You see, Kingsley had worked it out with the American Ministry of Magic that if they took in our protected witnesses, they would receive a nice hefty sum for each person brought over. But with that proposal, Kingsley had also asked to keep jurisdiction over them. Surprisingly, the Ministry agreed, which is why he was always kept informed with the happenings over here.
After he had learned about the incident, Kingsley set off asking each of us stationed over here, if we had any knowledge of what happened. Even though the American Ministry took care of the situation with the Muggles inside the bar, Kingsley still had a duty to make sure it wasn’t one of his own people. So you can definitely see why this sudden news about Malfoy not being with me was making him very upset. When he didn’t see him in the room, that’s when the questions started flying. Ugh, why didn’t I just say he was in the loo or something? I’m sure he didn’t do it. I mean he’s not that stupid, right?
“You know, when I say you are to watch him, it means you are to bloody well watch him!” he fumed.
“I’m really sorry, sir,” I apologized.
“How could you let him go off like that?”
I took a deep breath, knowing I had to tell him. “I was too weak to go with him,” I sheepishly answered. “I didn’t even have the strength to argue with him about it.”
Kingsley’s face quickly changed from anger to worry, as he stared over at me. “What’s wrong with you?” he curiously asked, his voice much softer now.
“I’m not really sure,” I answered. “I somehow blacked out earlier.”
“Blacked out?”
I nodded, glancing away from the fireplace for a few seconds. “I don’t even know what brought it on. One minute I was talking to someone, and the next, I woke up on the ground,” I explained, as I turned back to my boss.
“Has that ever happened to you before?”
“When I was younger,” I replied, “and Voldemort would possess me.”
Kingsley took a deep breath, shaking his head. “Then perhaps it would be best for me to assign somebody else to Mr. Malfoy’s case,” he thought out loud.
“No,” I quickly answered. Okay, sure I had made a big stinker about it in the beginning, but this was my case. I wasn’t going to let someone else take it over now. Besides, Malfoy isn’t all that bad. I mean he did take care of me, when I needed help.
“I thought you would be relieved,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Malfoy is my responsibility,” I stated. “And I won’t turn my back on him.”
“But you can’t even take care of yourself right now,” he gently reminded me. “Nobody will think any less of you, if you were to just step down from this case.”
“I won’t do it,” I stubbornly announced, crossing my arms over my chest.
Kingsley sighed, as he rubbed his forehead. “Fine, but if I find out that you left him alone again, then I will take you off this case,” he strictly added.
“I won’t do it again, sir.”
“And I’ll be sending someone over to examine you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I nodded. There would honestly be no arguing with him about that. He had a right to find out what was wrong with his Aurors. Not just that, but I was a bit curious myself.
“We’ll be in touch soon,” he finished, as he disappeared from the fireplace, leaving me once again alone with my thoughts.
*****
I heard the door slowly open, knowing Malfoy had finally returned. I slowly rolled over on my bed, following his movement toward his own bed. He still didn’t really look all that right to me; although, he did seem a bit more relaxed than before.
“Hey,” I softly said.
“Hey,” he answered, never turning around to look at me.
“You okay?”
He nodded, before leaning back on his bed and closing his eyes. “Yeah,” he simply replied, although I could tell he was lying.
“Malfoy, I need to ask you something.”
He opened his eyes, finally looking in my direction. “About what?” he questioned.
“Where were you tonight?”
“At a bar,” he answered, looking a bit confused. “Didn’t you get my message?”
I nodded, before finally sitting up in my bed. “Yes, but you never actually told me which bar,” I explained.
“Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, closing his eyes once more.
“No you’re not,” I suddenly snapped.
He narrowed his eyes over at me. “Look, you don’t have to know my exact whereabouts, okay?” he growled.
“No, you look, Malfoy,” I angrily continued. “I’m here to watch over you, which means I have to know where you are at all times.”
“I can bloody take care of myself, Potter.”
“Oh yeah? Well, who’s stupid idea was it to Disapparate in front of Muggles?” I argued.
“What? I didn’t…” he suddenly stopped, as his eyes widened in shock. “Oh shit,” he softly cursed.
I tightly closed my eyes, shaking my head. I really didn’t want to believe it possible. “So it was you,” I whispered.
“Well, not really,” he commented, making me look over at him in puzzlement. “I mean I wasn’t the one who actually did it. It was somebody else.”
“Who?”
He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Just some guy,” he quietly answered.
I clenched my teeth, as I glanced away from him, feeling my chest tighten again. “Malfoy, I understand you have this need to be with a lot of people, but you have to be careful out there,” I lectured. “There are so many people looking for you right now. It’s just not safe for you to be going off to these strangers’ homes all the time.”
“Wow, Potter, could you possibly make me sound any more like a slut?” he spat.
“I’m just saying-” I started to defend, as I turned to face him.
“Don’t,” he hissed. “You have no frigging clue who I am.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but quickly closed it. He was right. I honestly had no idea what kind of guy he was, but rumors were hard to ignore. “I just assumed-” I started to say again.
“Yeah, you and everybody else,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “You know, this may come as quite a shock to you, Potter, but I actually do respect myself well enough not to jump in bed with random people all the time.”
“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “You’re right. I don’t know who you are, and I shouldn’t be assuming things like that.”
“Thank you,” he responded, before suddenly smirking. “He was a bloody good shag, though.”
“Stupid git,” I grunted, throwing my pillow over at him.
Malfoy quickly caught the pillow, while laughing. The sound of his laughter tickled up my spine, and I couldn’t help but smile at him. He rolled out of his bed, and neared closer, before sitting down beside me. “So how are you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” I truthfully answered. I mean not only was my dizziness gone, but I was no longer alone anymore. I was so happy that Malfoy was back now. I really did miss his voice.
“Did you miss me?” he smirked.
“Right,” I scoffed. Oh come on. You think I would actually tell him that? I mean I couldn’t have his head growing any bigger than it already was. “Probably just as much as you missed me,” I joked.
“I doubt it,” he softly mumbled.
“What was that?” I asked, not sure if I heard him correctly.
“Nothing,” he responded, before taking in a deep breath. “Listen, Potter, I was being serious about before. I know I flirt with a lot of people, but it rarely ever goes beyond that. I only sleep with the ones I actually care about.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I curiously wondered.
Malfoy sighed, as he stood up from my bed. “Because I wanted to,” he quietly answered, as he returned to his bed.
I chewed on my lower lip, as I watched Malfoy slide under his sheets. I couldn’t believe he had actually told me something so personal about himself. His eyes soon locked with mine, and I knew he was waiting for me to ask. “So, then, this guy tonight?” I hesitated.
“You mean Bryan Zorin?” he smirked.
I raised my eyebrows in shock, never expecting to hear that name come out of Malfoy’s mouth. “You know?” I whispered.
“He was at the bar,” he explained. “And I’m sure you could imagine how surprised I was to see him.”
“It was the only way, Malfoy,” I sighed, hearing the hurt in his voice.
When the announcement of Zabini’s death came out, Malfoy was completely devastated. I knew those two were rather close, so I wasn’t surprised when he stormed into my office and started spouting off, questioning us why we weren’t going after the bastards who did it. My heart went out to him, when I heard the pain in his voice, as he harshly spoke to me. I mean he lost one of his best friends. If Hermione or Ron died, I would definitely have reacted the same. It was actually after his death, when Malfoy decided to help us, by giving us all the information we needed on the remaining Death Eaters. He just wanted to see justice done for his friend.
“Yeah, I know,” he quietly said, shifting his eyes away from me. I had a feeling he was trying to hold back some tears. “Night, Potter.”
“Night, Malfoy,” I quietly responded, before lying back down on my bed and closing my eyes.
“Potter?” he spoke, a few seconds later.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“I’m sorry for being such a prat to you over the years.”
I quickly opened my eyes and turned toward Malfoy, noticing him already staring at me. I couldn’t believe it. He apologized. Malfoy actually apologized. I suddenly swallowed, feeling my throat a bit dry, as I continued to stare into his warm gray eyes. Yes, it’s true. They definitely didn’t hold any coldness in them tonight, as he stared over at me. He really was being sincere. “Thanks, Malfoy,” I finally said.
He nodded, before rolling over, his back now facing me. I bit on my bottom lip, as I continued to stare at him. I knew I should say something, but what? I mean would it sound as meaningful now, or would he just think I said it because he did? Fuck, I really hated this.
I rolled over on my back and stared up at the ceiling. What could I say to him now? I mean was I even sorry about my actions toward him? I only ever did it because of him. I was just defending myself. I couldn’t really apologize for that. But then what? What could I say to let him know I was truly grateful for his apology? I took a deep breath, as I finally decided on what I was going to say. Merlin, I couldn’t believe I was going to do this.
“Ginny lied to me,” I softly announced.
I heard his bed squeak and knew he had rolled back over. I took another deep breath, before rolling over to stare at him once again. He silently watched me, as he waited for me to continue. This was truly difficult for me, since I have never spoken about this to anyone. It was a shock to everyone, when they heard of our separation, especially when nobody even knew the real reason behind it.
“Do you remember Luna Lovegood?” I began.
“You mean Loony Luna?” he smirked.
“Don’t call her that, okay?” I frowned. I really hated that nickname for her.
“Okay, fine,” he agreed.
I nodded, before continuing. “After the war, I became very depressed. I didn’t even know why, either. I mean I should have been happy, especially since I was still alive and had just killed Voldemort.”
“Yeah, but Potter, your life drastically changed,” Malfoy responded. “I mean sure you killed the Dark Lord, but it doesn’t change the fact that you killed someone. And then there’s the guilt of believing you had killed the others, even if it wasn’t by your hand, but just because you were who you were. I mean it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to feel happy right away.”
I smiled at his words. “That’s exactly what Luna said, too. In fact, she was the only one who ever understood. Hermione and Ron, as much as I love them, just never got it. Not even Ginny did. So I decided to distance myself away from them for awhile, as I tried to find my happiness again.”
“And Luna?”
“Turned out to be my happiness,” I answered, with a smile.
“Oh,” Malfoy comprehended, raising his eyebrows a bit, in surprise.
“She was my first,” I continued, feeling some tears start to form in my eyes at the memory. “I truly loved her. I mean she was the only one who ever understood me. She knew when I needed my space, but also when I needed her comfort.”
“So how did you end up with Weasley?”
I gritted my teeth, feeling my cheeks redden. “She told me Luna was cheating on me. She said she saw her with some guy that I didn’t even know.”
“And you believed her?”
“Of course not,” I sighed. “But it was hard not to believe my own eyes.”
“Wait, you saw them together?” he asked, now sitting up in his bed.
I nodded, feeling the tears start to fall now. I didn’t even try to wipe them away. “I was completely devastated. I didn’t even say anything, either. I just went back to the flat we were sharing and packed up my belongings. I knew that nothing she would say would ever change my mind. Once the trust is broken, there’s no turning back. I told myself early on that I would never stay with somebody who would disrespect me like that.”
“Damn right,” Malfoy nodded. “I can’t believe she frigging did that to you.”
“That’s what I said,” I muttered, as I finally wiped some of the tears away.
“So I guess that’s where Weasley stepped in? She became the shoulder for you to cry on, and then won you over in the end, right?”
“Basically,” I nodded, before finally sitting up in my bed, as well.
“Did you ever confront her about it?”
“She cornered me outside of work one day,” I answered. “She wanted to know why I had left, and that’s when I just blew up at her.”
“Did she deny any of it?”
“She didn’t say a word. She just stared at me for a while, and then gave me a kiss goodbye.”
“Weird,” Malfoy remarked.
“At the time it was, but now I finally understand why she did it,” I continued. “It honestly wouldn’t have mattered what she said because I wouldn’t have believed any of it.”
“So was that the last time you two spoke?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, feeling the tears start to come again. “I fucking hate her, Malfoy,” I suddenly said.
“I know, Potter. It’s never easy when you catch your lover in bed with somebody else,” he angrily spoke.
“I’m not talking about Luna,” I expressed, before my anger finally surfaced. “I’m talking about my fucking wife, who had given me a potion that made me see my worse fears come true.”
“What?” Malfoy exclaimed, moving forward on his bed, so he was now sitting on the edge.
“She knew I had low self-esteem. She knew I always had a lingering fear in my mind that Luna would leave me for someone better. So when she planted the thought in my head about her cheating, I started wondering if it could possibly be true,” I angrily continued. “Then she fucking slipped me the potion, so I was able to see the actual fear come to life.”
“I can’t believe she would do something like that,” Malfoy said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Not even I would stoop that low to win someone over. And I’m a Slytherin.”
I chuckled at his comment, feeling my anger slowly subside. “She actually told me that she had done it for me. That she just wanted to ease my worries about love and have me be happy again.”
“Yeah, with her,” he spat, before running his hands through his hair. “Merlin, Potter, why did she ever tell you the truth?”
“The guilt was eating at her,” I explained. “And when she knew Luna was no longer a threat, she finally admitted it.”
“Why would she think Luna was no longer a threat?” Malfoy curiously wondered.
“Because she died,” I whispered, feeling the tears suddenly fall again. “Fuck,” I cursed, a few seconds later, as I cried into my hands. Her death still really pained me, knowing I would never be able to apologize to her, knowing that the last memory I had was of her silently kissing me goodbye.
All of a sudden, I felt a comforting hand on my back and knew Malfoy had come over. He didn’t say a word, as he rubbed my back in small circles, allowing me to cry. I was so thankful for the silence. He actually knew what I needed at the moment, which just amazed me. Only one other person ever knew, and she was gone.
After a few more silent minutes, I finally gained my composure and looked over at him. As if sensing my stares, he quickly looked over at me, stopping his hand from moving on my back. “Thanks,” I whispered.
Malfoy nodded, before pulling his hand away. He remained seated next to me, as he began fidgeting with his hands in his lap, staring down at them. I placed my hand over his twitching hands, seeing him slowly look up at me.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever told that to, Malfoy,” I softly began.
Malfoy swallowed, before looking down at my hand still covering his. I took a deep breath, never taking my hand away, as Malfoy returned his attention to me. “You don’t know how much I needed to get that off my chest,” I added, before finally releasing my hand from his.
“I can’t believe you’ve kept that a secret,” he finally spoke, shaking his head in disbelief. “How have you honestly been able to handle it?”
“Believe me, it hasn’t been easy. I mean I still get really angry about it, especially when I’m reminded of Ginny. In fact, my mind will actually shut down for awhile, if I am.”
Malfoy stared at me inquisitively. “Shut down, meaning possible blackouts?”
I widened my eyes in surprise, when reality suddenly dawned on me. “That girl’s name in the bar was Ginny,” I finally remembered. “She said it, right before I fainted. That’s got to be it! Malfoy, you’re a genius!”
Malfoy suddenly smiled at my comment. Okay, remember that dream where I had seen Malfoy smile on the plane? Um, yeah, ten times better in person. It’s amazing that something so small as a smile could make me feel so much better. Oh, bloody hell. Did I just say Malfoy was a genius out loud?
“Huh, what was that?” I suddenly asked, realizing that Malfoy just spoke.
He shook his head and lightly chuckled in amusement. “I said, ‘well, at least that’s one less mystery for us to solve now.’”
“Oh,” I blushed. “Yeah, it is.”
“You okay?” he curiously wondered, as he studied my face.
I could feel my cheeks start to redden even more. Shit. Why the hell was I blushing so much? Okay, so I was thinking about Malfoy’s smile before. Big deal. I mean it doesn’t mean anything. I was just stunned to see it up close in person, that’s all. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.
“…and then Granger kissed me,” I suddenly heard him say, causing me to quickly turn in his direction, shocked by his statement. “Just seeing if you were listening,” he winked.
I had to smile at him. He truly was a humorous person. I suddenly yawned, feeling sleep begin to run its course. Who knew talking about my personal life could be so draining. At least it helped, as I was finally able to get it off my chest. I definitely needed to talk to someone. I’m just still surprised that I chose Malfoy to be that person.
“Go to sleep, Potter,” he lightly chuckled, after seeing me yawn a second time.
I couldn’t argue with him; I really was tired. Today had truly been a very long, tiring, and, let’s face it, confusing day. I yawned once more, before leaning back on my bed, and closing my eyes. I could sense Malfoy watching me for a few more seconds, before he finally stood up and shuffled back to his own bed.
After waiting a few more minutes, I slowly rolled over on my side, staring at the blonde, who had his back to me. I started thinking about everyone who was, or had been, in my life, realizing a very unsettling thought. Luna was the only one who had ever understood me; the only one who could ever really comfort me. The only one, that is, until tonight. I unexpectedly smiled at the thought, as I continued to stare in his direction, before closing my eyes, allowing sleep to finally take me.
*****
hieisdragoness18: Yep, he is. And we'll actually be seeing Blaise a few more times in this story. I'm working with a few ideas right now about him and this whole mess... so we'll see what my mind comes up with! :) Thanks for your constant reviews, by the way. I do appreciate them!
thrnbrooke: haha Here it is!
paigeey07: :) Thanks! I'm so glad you're still liking this story. Thanks for all your reviews!
Jess: I'm so glad you stopped by to give my story a chance! And yay for thinking it's great so far. I do hope you will continue to like it. :) I'm so happy to know that you like how I portrayed Harry. I thought this side of him would be fun to read and write. And yes, Draco is the cutest. lol And here's your update. Hope you like! :)
“I mean what were you thinking?” he yelled, causing me to cringe a little.
I was sitting on my bed, staring over at the fireplace in our room, as Kingsley continued to scold me. Yeah, it probably wasn’t best to tell him that Malfoy wasn’t here. But I was cornered, and I just couldn’t think fast enough. I am still recovering from my earlier episode, you know. Damn. I was going to have to tell him that, too, wasn’t I?
Kingsley had appeared about an hour after Malfoy left, to tell me there were some Muggles here who had witnessed a “disappearing act” at a local bar. It really wasn’t that strange for Kingsley to know about these issues. You see, Kingsley had worked it out with the American Ministry of Magic that if they took in our protected witnesses, they would receive a nice hefty sum for each person brought over. But with that proposal, Kingsley had also asked to keep jurisdiction over them. Surprisingly, the Ministry agreed, which is why he was always kept informed with the happenings over here.
After he had learned about the incident, Kingsley set off asking each of us stationed over here, if we had any knowledge of what happened. Even though the American Ministry took care of the situation with the Muggles inside the bar, Kingsley still had a duty to make sure it wasn’t one of his own people. So you can definitely see why this sudden news about Malfoy not being with me was making him very upset. When he didn’t see him in the room, that’s when the questions started flying. Ugh, why didn’t I just say he was in the loo or something? I’m sure he didn’t do it. I mean he’s not that stupid, right?
“You know, when I say you are to watch him, it means you are to bloody well watch him!” he fumed.
“I’m really sorry, sir,” I apologized.
“How could you let him go off like that?”
I took a deep breath, knowing I had to tell him. “I was too weak to go with him,” I sheepishly answered. “I didn’t even have the strength to argue with him about it.”
Kingsley’s face quickly changed from anger to worry, as he stared over at me. “What’s wrong with you?” he curiously asked, his voice much softer now.
“I’m not really sure,” I answered. “I somehow blacked out earlier.”
“Blacked out?”
I nodded, glancing away from the fireplace for a few seconds. “I don’t even know what brought it on. One minute I was talking to someone, and the next, I woke up on the ground,” I explained, as I turned back to my boss.
“Has that ever happened to you before?”
“When I was younger,” I replied, “and Voldemort would possess me.”
Kingsley took a deep breath, shaking his head. “Then perhaps it would be best for me to assign somebody else to Mr. Malfoy’s case,” he thought out loud.
“No,” I quickly answered. Okay, sure I had made a big stinker about it in the beginning, but this was my case. I wasn’t going to let someone else take it over now. Besides, Malfoy isn’t all that bad. I mean he did take care of me, when I needed help.
“I thought you would be relieved,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Malfoy is my responsibility,” I stated. “And I won’t turn my back on him.”
“But you can’t even take care of yourself right now,” he gently reminded me. “Nobody will think any less of you, if you were to just step down from this case.”
“I won’t do it,” I stubbornly announced, crossing my arms over my chest.
Kingsley sighed, as he rubbed his forehead. “Fine, but if I find out that you left him alone again, then I will take you off this case,” he strictly added.
“I won’t do it again, sir.”
“And I’ll be sending someone over to examine you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I nodded. There would honestly be no arguing with him about that. He had a right to find out what was wrong with his Aurors. Not just that, but I was a bit curious myself.
“We’ll be in touch soon,” he finished, as he disappeared from the fireplace, leaving me once again alone with my thoughts.
I heard the door slowly open, knowing Malfoy had finally returned. I slowly rolled over on my bed, following his movement toward his own bed. He still didn’t really look all that right to me; although, he did seem a bit more relaxed than before.
“Hey,” I softly said.
“Hey,” he answered, never turning around to look at me.
“You okay?”
He nodded, before leaning back on his bed and closing his eyes. “Yeah,” he simply replied, although I could tell he was lying.
“Malfoy, I need to ask you something.”
He opened his eyes, finally looking in my direction. “About what?” he questioned.
“Where were you tonight?”
“At a bar,” he answered, looking a bit confused. “Didn’t you get my message?”
I nodded, before finally sitting up in my bed. “Yes, but you never actually told me which bar,” I explained.
“Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, closing his eyes once more.
“No you’re not,” I suddenly snapped.
He narrowed his eyes over at me. “Look, you don’t have to know my exact whereabouts, okay?” he growled.
“No, you look, Malfoy,” I angrily continued. “I’m here to watch over you, which means I have to know where you are at all times.”
“I can bloody take care of myself, Potter.”
“Oh yeah? Well, who’s stupid idea was it to Disapparate in front of Muggles?” I argued.
“What? I didn’t…” he suddenly stopped, as his eyes widened in shock. “Oh shit,” he softly cursed.
I tightly closed my eyes, shaking my head. I really didn’t want to believe it possible. “So it was you,” I whispered.
“Well, not really,” he commented, making me look over at him in puzzlement. “I mean I wasn’t the one who actually did it. It was somebody else.”
“Who?”
He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Just some guy,” he quietly answered.
I clenched my teeth, as I glanced away from him, feeling my chest tighten again. “Malfoy, I understand you have this need to be with a lot of people, but you have to be careful out there,” I lectured. “There are so many people looking for you right now. It’s just not safe for you to be going off to these strangers’ homes all the time.”
“Wow, Potter, could you possibly make me sound any more like a slut?” he spat.
“I’m just saying-” I started to defend, as I turned to face him.
“Don’t,” he hissed. “You have no frigging clue who I am.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but quickly closed it. He was right. I honestly had no idea what kind of guy he was, but rumors were hard to ignore. “I just assumed-” I started to say again.
“Yeah, you and everybody else,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “You know, this may come as quite a shock to you, Potter, but I actually do respect myself well enough not to jump in bed with random people all the time.”
“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “You’re right. I don’t know who you are, and I shouldn’t be assuming things like that.”
“Thank you,” he responded, before suddenly smirking. “He was a bloody good shag, though.”
“Stupid git,” I grunted, throwing my pillow over at him.
Malfoy quickly caught the pillow, while laughing. The sound of his laughter tickled up my spine, and I couldn’t help but smile at him. He rolled out of his bed, and neared closer, before sitting down beside me. “So how are you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” I truthfully answered. I mean not only was my dizziness gone, but I was no longer alone anymore. I was so happy that Malfoy was back now. I really did miss his voice.
“Did you miss me?” he smirked.
“Right,” I scoffed. Oh come on. You think I would actually tell him that? I mean I couldn’t have his head growing any bigger than it already was. “Probably just as much as you missed me,” I joked.
“I doubt it,” he softly mumbled.
“What was that?” I asked, not sure if I heard him correctly.
“Nothing,” he responded, before taking in a deep breath. “Listen, Potter, I was being serious about before. I know I flirt with a lot of people, but it rarely ever goes beyond that. I only sleep with the ones I actually care about.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I curiously wondered.
Malfoy sighed, as he stood up from my bed. “Because I wanted to,” he quietly answered, as he returned to his bed.
I chewed on my lower lip, as I watched Malfoy slide under his sheets. I couldn’t believe he had actually told me something so personal about himself. His eyes soon locked with mine, and I knew he was waiting for me to ask. “So, then, this guy tonight?” I hesitated.
“You mean Bryan Zorin?” he smirked.
I raised my eyebrows in shock, never expecting to hear that name come out of Malfoy’s mouth. “You know?” I whispered.
“He was at the bar,” he explained. “And I’m sure you could imagine how surprised I was to see him.”
“It was the only way, Malfoy,” I sighed, hearing the hurt in his voice.
When the announcement of Zabini’s death came out, Malfoy was completely devastated. I knew those two were rather close, so I wasn’t surprised when he stormed into my office and started spouting off, questioning us why we weren’t going after the bastards who did it. My heart went out to him, when I heard the pain in his voice, as he harshly spoke to me. I mean he lost one of his best friends. If Hermione or Ron died, I would definitely have reacted the same. It was actually after his death, when Malfoy decided to help us, by giving us all the information we needed on the remaining Death Eaters. He just wanted to see justice done for his friend.
“Yeah, I know,” he quietly said, shifting his eyes away from me. I had a feeling he was trying to hold back some tears. “Night, Potter.”
“Night, Malfoy,” I quietly responded, before lying back down on my bed and closing my eyes.
“Potter?” he spoke, a few seconds later.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“I’m sorry for being such a prat to you over the years.”
I quickly opened my eyes and turned toward Malfoy, noticing him already staring at me. I couldn’t believe it. He apologized. Malfoy actually apologized. I suddenly swallowed, feeling my throat a bit dry, as I continued to stare into his warm gray eyes. Yes, it’s true. They definitely didn’t hold any coldness in them tonight, as he stared over at me. He really was being sincere. “Thanks, Malfoy,” I finally said.
He nodded, before rolling over, his back now facing me. I bit on my bottom lip, as I continued to stare at him. I knew I should say something, but what? I mean would it sound as meaningful now, or would he just think I said it because he did? Fuck, I really hated this.
I rolled over on my back and stared up at the ceiling. What could I say to him now? I mean was I even sorry about my actions toward him? I only ever did it because of him. I was just defending myself. I couldn’t really apologize for that. But then what? What could I say to let him know I was truly grateful for his apology? I took a deep breath, as I finally decided on what I was going to say. Merlin, I couldn’t believe I was going to do this.
“Ginny lied to me,” I softly announced.
I heard his bed squeak and knew he had rolled back over. I took another deep breath, before rolling over to stare at him once again. He silently watched me, as he waited for me to continue. This was truly difficult for me, since I have never spoken about this to anyone. It was a shock to everyone, when they heard of our separation, especially when nobody even knew the real reason behind it.
“Do you remember Luna Lovegood?” I began.
“You mean Loony Luna?” he smirked.
“Don’t call her that, okay?” I frowned. I really hated that nickname for her.
“Okay, fine,” he agreed.
I nodded, before continuing. “After the war, I became very depressed. I didn’t even know why, either. I mean I should have been happy, especially since I was still alive and had just killed Voldemort.”
“Yeah, but Potter, your life drastically changed,” Malfoy responded. “I mean sure you killed the Dark Lord, but it doesn’t change the fact that you killed someone. And then there’s the guilt of believing you had killed the others, even if it wasn’t by your hand, but just because you were who you were. I mean it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to feel happy right away.”
I smiled at his words. “That’s exactly what Luna said, too. In fact, she was the only one who ever understood. Hermione and Ron, as much as I love them, just never got it. Not even Ginny did. So I decided to distance myself away from them for awhile, as I tried to find my happiness again.”
“And Luna?”
“Turned out to be my happiness,” I answered, with a smile.
“Oh,” Malfoy comprehended, raising his eyebrows a bit, in surprise.
“She was my first,” I continued, feeling some tears start to form in my eyes at the memory. “I truly loved her. I mean she was the only one who ever understood me. She knew when I needed my space, but also when I needed her comfort.”
“So how did you end up with Weasley?”
I gritted my teeth, feeling my cheeks redden. “She told me Luna was cheating on me. She said she saw her with some guy that I didn’t even know.”
“And you believed her?”
“Of course not,” I sighed. “But it was hard not to believe my own eyes.”
“Wait, you saw them together?” he asked, now sitting up in his bed.
I nodded, feeling the tears start to fall now. I didn’t even try to wipe them away. “I was completely devastated. I didn’t even say anything, either. I just went back to the flat we were sharing and packed up my belongings. I knew that nothing she would say would ever change my mind. Once the trust is broken, there’s no turning back. I told myself early on that I would never stay with somebody who would disrespect me like that.”
“Damn right,” Malfoy nodded. “I can’t believe she frigging did that to you.”
“That’s what I said,” I muttered, as I finally wiped some of the tears away.
“So I guess that’s where Weasley stepped in? She became the shoulder for you to cry on, and then won you over in the end, right?”
“Basically,” I nodded, before finally sitting up in my bed, as well.
“Did you ever confront her about it?”
“She cornered me outside of work one day,” I answered. “She wanted to know why I had left, and that’s when I just blew up at her.”
“Did she deny any of it?”
“She didn’t say a word. She just stared at me for a while, and then gave me a kiss goodbye.”
“Weird,” Malfoy remarked.
“At the time it was, but now I finally understand why she did it,” I continued. “It honestly wouldn’t have mattered what she said because I wouldn’t have believed any of it.”
“So was that the last time you two spoke?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, feeling the tears start to come again. “I fucking hate her, Malfoy,” I suddenly said.
“I know, Potter. It’s never easy when you catch your lover in bed with somebody else,” he angrily spoke.
“I’m not talking about Luna,” I expressed, before my anger finally surfaced. “I’m talking about my fucking wife, who had given me a potion that made me see my worse fears come true.”
“What?” Malfoy exclaimed, moving forward on his bed, so he was now sitting on the edge.
“She knew I had low self-esteem. She knew I always had a lingering fear in my mind that Luna would leave me for someone better. So when she planted the thought in my head about her cheating, I started wondering if it could possibly be true,” I angrily continued. “Then she fucking slipped me the potion, so I was able to see the actual fear come to life.”
“I can’t believe she would do something like that,” Malfoy said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Not even I would stoop that low to win someone over. And I’m a Slytherin.”
I chuckled at his comment, feeling my anger slowly subside. “She actually told me that she had done it for me. That she just wanted to ease my worries about love and have me be happy again.”
“Yeah, with her,” he spat, before running his hands through his hair. “Merlin, Potter, why did she ever tell you the truth?”
“The guilt was eating at her,” I explained. “And when she knew Luna was no longer a threat, she finally admitted it.”
“Why would she think Luna was no longer a threat?” Malfoy curiously wondered.
“Because she died,” I whispered, feeling the tears suddenly fall again. “Fuck,” I cursed, a few seconds later, as I cried into my hands. Her death still really pained me, knowing I would never be able to apologize to her, knowing that the last memory I had was of her silently kissing me goodbye.
All of a sudden, I felt a comforting hand on my back and knew Malfoy had come over. He didn’t say a word, as he rubbed my back in small circles, allowing me to cry. I was so thankful for the silence. He actually knew what I needed at the moment, which just amazed me. Only one other person ever knew, and she was gone.
After a few more silent minutes, I finally gained my composure and looked over at him. As if sensing my stares, he quickly looked over at me, stopping his hand from moving on my back. “Thanks,” I whispered.
Malfoy nodded, before pulling his hand away. He remained seated next to me, as he began fidgeting with his hands in his lap, staring down at them. I placed my hand over his twitching hands, seeing him slowly look up at me.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever told that to, Malfoy,” I softly began.
Malfoy swallowed, before looking down at my hand still covering his. I took a deep breath, never taking my hand away, as Malfoy returned his attention to me. “You don’t know how much I needed to get that off my chest,” I added, before finally releasing my hand from his.
“I can’t believe you’ve kept that a secret,” he finally spoke, shaking his head in disbelief. “How have you honestly been able to handle it?”
“Believe me, it hasn’t been easy. I mean I still get really angry about it, especially when I’m reminded of Ginny. In fact, my mind will actually shut down for awhile, if I am.”
Malfoy stared at me inquisitively. “Shut down, meaning possible blackouts?”
I widened my eyes in surprise, when reality suddenly dawned on me. “That girl’s name in the bar was Ginny,” I finally remembered. “She said it, right before I fainted. That’s got to be it! Malfoy, you’re a genius!”
Malfoy suddenly smiled at my comment. Okay, remember that dream where I had seen Malfoy smile on the plane? Um, yeah, ten times better in person. It’s amazing that something so small as a smile could make me feel so much better. Oh, bloody hell. Did I just say Malfoy was a genius out loud?
“Huh, what was that?” I suddenly asked, realizing that Malfoy just spoke.
He shook his head and lightly chuckled in amusement. “I said, ‘well, at least that’s one less mystery for us to solve now.’”
“Oh,” I blushed. “Yeah, it is.”
“You okay?” he curiously wondered, as he studied my face.
I could feel my cheeks start to redden even more. Shit. Why the hell was I blushing so much? Okay, so I was thinking about Malfoy’s smile before. Big deal. I mean it doesn’t mean anything. I was just stunned to see it up close in person, that’s all. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.
“…and then Granger kissed me,” I suddenly heard him say, causing me to quickly turn in his direction, shocked by his statement. “Just seeing if you were listening,” he winked.
I had to smile at him. He truly was a humorous person. I suddenly yawned, feeling sleep begin to run its course. Who knew talking about my personal life could be so draining. At least it helped, as I was finally able to get it off my chest. I definitely needed to talk to someone. I’m just still surprised that I chose Malfoy to be that person.
“Go to sleep, Potter,” he lightly chuckled, after seeing me yawn a second time.
I couldn’t argue with him; I really was tired. Today had truly been a very long, tiring, and, let’s face it, confusing day. I yawned once more, before leaning back on my bed, and closing my eyes. I could sense Malfoy watching me for a few more seconds, before he finally stood up and shuffled back to his own bed.
After waiting a few more minutes, I slowly rolled over on my side, staring at the blonde, who had his back to me. I started thinking about everyone who was, or had been, in my life, realizing a very unsettling thought. Luna was the only one who had ever understood me; the only one who could ever really comfort me. The only one, that is, until tonight. I unexpectedly smiled at the thought, as I continued to stare in his direction, before closing my eyes, allowing sleep to finally take me.