The Affair

Chapter Six: Life At Home: Part I





It is dismal coming home, when there is nobody to welcome one! - Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho, 1764







As usual the house was empty when Hermione returned home. It was always a disappointment to enter the house alone. She wished that Ron would greet her in the evenings the way Lucius greeted her on the mornings she worked, with a smile that said ‘I am happy to see you’. Perhaps it was just too much to ask too soon. They said that people dealt with grief differently, that each person took their own time to go through the stages.







She could already feel herself getting better but perhaps it wasn’t the case for him. Maybe he needed longer. She sighed and put away her things then made her way to the kitchen to prepare supper. She busied herself with the preparations, singing softly to herself as she went.







Ron opened the front door and was greeted with the welcoming scent of food cooking in the kitchen. He emptied his pockets into the basket on the table and removed his boots and cloak. His nose led him to the kitchen where he stopped in the doorway to watch his wife.







She was singing to herself, slightly out of tune and he was pretty sure that she was getting the lyrics wrong but he said nothing. She was smiling, she looked happy. She had color in her cheeks and seemed to have more energy. It seemed that her new job really agreed with her.

He hadn’t seen her look quite so happy in a very long time. It was nice and troubling at the same time as he had nothing to do with it. She looked up suddenly and saw him, a soft smile gracing her lips.







“Welcome home. How was your day?” She asked as she began to make their plates.







“Busy, I caught up on a lot of paperwork.” When was the last time she had asked him about his day?







“That’s good.” She set their food on the table and waited, watching as Ron walked right past her and settled into his chair. She sighed and pulled out her own chair thinking that Lucius could teach a class to the younger generation about etiquette.







“What did you do today?” He asked, digging in to the chicken and pasta dish she had made for dinner.







“I catalogued books mostly. I finally got through what was stacked on the floors and moved on to the shelves.” She said. “I played with Lucius’s dogs for a while.”







“Lucius?” Ron’s head lifted at the sound of Malfoy’s first name on his wife’s lips. “You call him Lucius?”







“It’s his name, he asked me to.” Hermione shrugged. “He has a kennel that is actually a house where his dogs live. There are several, all of them named for kings and queens.”







Ron couldn’t recall the last time she had been so chatty. Meals were usually ate in silence followed by them going in separate directions to do who knows what until time for them to crawl into bed. He wasn’t sure what to think.





“He is being decent to you then?” Ron asked.







“Oh yes, he is quite wonderful to me actually. We have become friends I think.” She said.







“Friends? With Malfoy?” Ron didn’t look convinced, in fact he had a rather derisive smirk on his face.







“Yes. I give him daily progress reports over lunch and he is always very kind to me. He talks to me about all sorts of things.” She said, seeing that Ron had drifted off and was no longer listening. He had already finished the first bottle of beer and accio’d another from the ice box. She felt tears burning the backs of her eyes and fought to keep them from falling as dinner went on in silence.







She cleaned up the kitchen and then readied herself for bed, curling onto her side at the very edge of the mattress. She hadn’t seen Ron again after he finished his supper and left her alone at the table. He was likely out back, drinking alone in the dark. She missed him. At least she missed the man he used to be.







It was deep into the night when she felt him crawl into bed beside her. He didn’t turn his back to her as he usually did. For the first time in over a year he pressed up against her back and held her tight.







“You looked really pretty this evening, Hermione.” He whispered in her ear, brushing light kisses along the back of her neck. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut as his hand slid up her abdomen and cupped her breast, he rolled her onto her back and covered her lips with his. She kissed him back and tried not to be revolted by the smell and taste of the beer he had drank.







The touch that had once excited her now made her feel as though something were crawling beneath her skin. She tried to will it away as he moved over her and tugged the knit fabric of her gown away from her breasts and lowered his head. Tears began to well in the corners of her eyes. She felt nothing, she was numb. She couldn’t feel his tongue on her nipple or the sucking of his mouth. There was no pleasure to be had, only shame and the panic of feeling suffocated.







“Ron, stop.” She whimpered, pushing at his shoulders gently. His hand continued to tug the hem of her gown up and over her thighs, his fingers delving between. “Please, Ron, stop…” She closed her thighs and pushed on him more firmly.







“Come on, Baby, it’s been so long.” He groaned. “I miss you.” His words tore at her heart and she wanted to respond to him. She wanted her heart, mind and body to welcome him but it wasn’t happening. The more he touched her the more ill she felt.







“I can’t…Ron, please…” She shoved him hard and he fell off of her, rolling onto his back and covering his eyes with his arm. She rolled onto her side, curling into a fetal position as she sobbed.







“I don’t understand.” He said.







“I’m just not ready.” She whispered. Maybe she would never be ready. Maybe something had died inside her that made it impossible for her to bear another’s touch. She heard his frustrated growl as he rose from the bed. The bedroom door shook in its frame when he slammed it behind him.











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WOW, so I had steeled myself for a negative response….I really wasn’t expecting this to go over well with most people because it deals with such a rough subject matter. I am so lucky to have people reading who actually see it for what it was meant to be, a story about life and not immediately think it’s a promotion for affairs. Thank you for that.





Now, I am setting myself up for a good update schedule by giving you an update today. 2 chapters because they go together, then one every other day till complete unless they “go together” There are 30 chapters to this fic, so you are in for a long one here, it is done so I promise frequent updates and a completed story. =)





As to the subject matter….I tried for 7 years before my oldest son was born. In that time I had 4 miscarriages and delivered a set of twin boys at 26 weeks who did not make it, they only lived an hour. My oldest child is a surviving twin so I know personally about that aspect. The affair part of it, well I haven’t experienced that but I did research it, talked to friends who had been through, trying to figure out what brings people together, what can make them justify their actions etc etc…..so I tried to use that knowledge to make this real.





Now….to reviewers….







NarcissasSister – you don’t get any more a loyal reader than reading and reviewing before I have even finished posting the start up chapters!!! Thank you for that. I went through the whole MRI thing a few months ago with my 4 year old, they thought he had leukemia but thank goodness it wasn’t, turned out to be a bleeding disorder, not a great diagnosis but better than cancer. I will be thinking of your little one and you.







LadyVoldemort87 – I love you, have I mentioned that today?







Jade – thank you so much for the enthusiasm =)







Luci.TM – so glad you are enjoying the tale so far….its a long one..so stick with me =)





Carha – For me the best stories are ones that can pull at my heart. If you can make me cry or laugh out loud then you have truly written something great. I don’t know where this story came from. It wasn’t even in my little notebook. It just popped up in my head one night while chatting with friends and then I couldn’t write anything else, it had to be this story.







Gah_meep – Im glad you are reading. =)







Lixx – thanks so much for that!





Voracious Reader – Thank you for the lovely compliment, I am glad to see you are reading this one too.





Mariteri – thanks! And I am glad to see you posting your writing these days too!!!





NightQueen – thank you so much! I suppose I shouldn’t have just assumed that everyone would jump to the flames and negative over the subject matter, but I do know its hard to read but I also know its real life, Sadly. Thanks for reading.





Cliobella – always happy endings, I cant live without them. They are necessary for me, but it isn’t an easy road to happy. Poor hubby LMAO





Gtbioteach – You and I are on the same page there, I never forgot my boys, but I had to move on. It changed me and I think about them often, but life has to go on eventually.





Always Intimate – I checked chapter four and when he asked her she told him “he will be one next month”….not sure where you saw the ‘week’, but thanks for reading!! =)





Bournespeed – feeding your addiction eh? So I am an enabler LOL….I am glad I can make you happy and have earned you as a reader =) I will continue to try and feed your addiction without fail. I currently am finishing up a Remus before beginning on another….I kid you not when I say this is my therapy/stress relief….and the more stressful life is, the more I crank out.







Donovon - I am with you, hon. I am glad Hermione’s pain came over realistically.





Stephanie – Thank you!!!!







Ms_Helene_Snape – so glad to see you on board already!!!







Gertie – have them tissues handy doll….I went through two boxes writing this LOL Oh….10 chapters into the remus fic =)