Only through the pain

Disclaimer: **sniffle** I don’t own them, I don’t own myself, and I don’t own any of the members of Trapt….**sniffle** oh the fun filled, chocolate covered smexyness I would have if I did…..**gets bopped by hubby for bad naughty thoughts not involving him** ow….

Warning: Angsty, slashy smutty, abusive, bad language, and drug filled content! Do not read if nursing or pregnant…I mean….do not read if under the age of eighteen. And certainly don’t read if you’re both. Last thing I need is some hormonal teenage pregnant lady bitching at me for being so dark and angsty when I’m usually so cute and fluffy….

A/N: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached chapter 6! Woot!! You all know what that means right? **hears crickets and sighs** it means naughty dream sequence, dummies. That’s right, there will be brief dream sequence smut in this chapter, (shortly followed by an implied lonesome) and as such, the title of today’s chapter is Dancing with Myself, and anyone who knows Billy Idol will understand the joke behind the choice in title **grin** don’t kill me if the smut isn’t up to par…it’s been a while and I’ve only got about three hours before momma Lithos brings my babies back….

Chapter 6- Dancing with myself (Draco)

His strong, warm hands slid over my torso, caressing, stroking, feeling and I moaned into the warm mouth I was kissing, desperately trying to remove his shirt as well, so my own hands could feel and touch. When he broke the kiss to pull the shirt off over his head I draped my mouth down to his chest and flicked my tongue over one pebbly nipple and then the other, sliding down, down, down his chest to his happy trail and unbuttoning those tight jeans with my teeth while his hands slid themselves over my shoulders and up into my hair. My own hands slid in under the waistband of the now loosened jeans and squeezed his ass while my tongue licked a path up his shaft and around the tip with its drop of pearly pre-cum.

“mmm,” I purred, enjoying that little taste of my lover before taking the entire length of his cock into my mouth and then back out again, swirling my tongue around the base and tip with each repetition. His hands knotted in my hair as he tried to keep himself from thrusting, but after only a few seconds of my mouth working up and down on his dick he pulled me back up and pushed me against a wall, kissing me hard while his hands unbuttoned my pants and released my own erection. I gasped as he thrust our hips together, naked cocks sliding against one another in the most delicious way. His mouth left mine and he began to nibble gently on my earlobe

“God I want to fuck you Draco,” he moaned in my ear, “but you have to wake up now.”

“What?” I asked, pulling my head back as much as I was able to look into deep, lust filled emerald eyes, realizing for the first time that the man I was touching was none other then Harry Potter, and I didn’t care.

He smiled at my surprise, “Time to wake up Draco, there’s someone here to see you,” he said again, and then his voice changed and sounded a lot like my godfather’s. “Draco Malfoy, wake up right this instant before I Avada Kedavra your sorry blond behind into the next century.” The new voice said and I was up instantly.

I sat bolt upright, blinking away the face in my dreams and then blinking at my godfather who was glaring at me from beside me bed. “Severus?”

“That’s Professor Snape to you,” he said, “You’re in school now, remember? Or are you still caught up in whatever that most interesting dream was?” he asked with a pointed look at my blankets which were bunched rather oddly.

I blushed bright red and dived back under the covers, “With all due respect, Professor Snape, sod off.”

“I’m afraid, Mister Malfoy, that that request is impossible. You and I must speak about…”

“If it’s about yesterday and me riding with Harry Potter, I don’t want to explain myself again,” I grumbled, throwing the blankets back and glaring at him. “We were just talking.”

“Actually, I was about to say that we needed to discuss your mother and what your father being in prison means about your imminent induction into the Dark Lord’s circle, Draco,” Severus said with a raised eyebrow, “Whatever you do on your own time with Potter is frankly none of my business, nor do I wish to know.” He stood and looked around at the room, “I’ll give you two hours to unpack and…take care of any other business, but then I expect to see you in my office. We must speak.”

“Yes, Professor Snape,” I sighed, waiting until he left to get off the bed and head to the shower to take care of my ‘other business’ first and mull over the dream I’d had. “Its probably just because Harry wore those damn tight pants yesterday. Anyone with any sexual drive whatsoever would have strange dreams after being around him in them all day.” I told myself as I started the shower and stripped off my pajama bottoms, making my problem even more obvious. I glared down at it and threatened it, “You better behave yourself around Potter today or you’re going to be staying in the dark for a very long time.”

“That’s right dear! Tell that cock whose boss!” the mirror cheered, though I thought I heard a snicker as well.

“Damn mirrors,” I muttered, throwing a towel over it and smiling when it booed me. “Get over it, I’m not giving the perverted mirrors of this castle a free show.” I snapped at the mirror. I’m not sure, but I think I heard it blow a raspberry.

“Meanie,” the mirror said, but I ignored it and stepped into the shower. “I still know what you’re doing!” it called.

“Shut it mirror or I’ll put a permanent blacking charm on you!” I shouted back, “Then you won’t know when I’m sneaking up on you with a sledge hammer!”

“Touchy, touchy.” The mirror sighed, but couldn’t resist a parting shot, “In more ways then one!”

I sighed and leaned my head against the tile, “Why do I always get the perverted mirror?” I wondered and a little voice in my head answered me, “Because you’re a pervert yourself.”

“Am not!” I shouted in my own brain.

“Are too. You just had a wet dream about Harry. And now you have to get rid of the evidence. That’s perverted if you ask me.” It replied.

“Well I didn’t, and it wasn’t about Harry the whole time…was it?”

“Yep. The whole damn time.” My brain said, “Admit it, you want to be shagged Harry Potter into the mattress. No one would blame you, he is quite attractive, especially in those pants. And he must think you’re attractive too, didn’t you see the massive bulge? I bet he’s pretty well equipped….”

“Shut up brain or I’ll stab you with a q-tip!” I shouted, both aloud and in my head. Then I groaned, “I have got to stop talking to myself!”

A little under an hour later, I was out of the shower, having had to take care of things quite a few times since my damned brain and damned mirror kept bringing it back up again by talking about Harry. I dressed simply in (loose) black jeans and a dark green button down that I left untucked, to hide any reoccurrences my stupid brain might wish to send my way. Though I was pretty sure that as soon as my godfather started talking about that moldy bastard all sexual thoughts would be completely erased for the day.

With a sigh and a wave of my wand everything in my trunk was unpacked and settled in its proper spot, so I left my room with about forty-five minutes to get to my godfather’s office way down in the dungeons. I needed all forty five-minutes though, because on the first day back the staircases tended to be extra mischievous, moving every which way every time someone stood on them. I’m sure Harry and Ginny with their astounding knowledge of the grounds and the secret passages never had this particular problem. “Maybe I could get them to show me a few…” I mumbled as I ran the last stretch of hallway to Severus’ door, where he was waiting, watching my last seconds tick down on a watch.

“You’re late.” He scowled, opening the door and showing me inside. “Were things a little harder to take care of then you expected?”

I rolled my eyes and flung myself into a chair, “I don’t see how that’s any of your business Professor.”

“You’re right, Draco, it’s not.” He said, settling himself behind the desk and glaring at me. “It is however my business if Harry Potter stops you from accepting your mark come Easter.”

I blanched, “I don’t want the mark Severus, I’d rather get trampled by hungry Hippogriffs then serve that mad-man, and you know that. Father is gone now, and I mean to keep mother and me as far away from all of that nonsense as I can.” I glared at him. “Isn’t that what you always said you wanted for us?”

“I did,” Severus sighed and pinched his large hooked nose at the bridge, a tell-tale sign that he had a headache, “But I fear you have no choice in the matter now Draco. Your father set everything up before he was taken to Azkaban and the dark lord is expecting me to take you to him the night before All saints day, 10 pm Halloween. If I do not, he will likely suspect that I am working for Dumbledore and I will not be able to pass information quite as easily as I do now. It will be a serious blow to the cause of the light. You must do this Draco. You must take the mark. Be a spy for the light if you think you can handle it or if it will ease your conscious any, but you must do it.”

“No, I do not want to be a puppet for Dumbledore and I refuse to serve the Dark Lord.” I stood, “I refuse to do this, Severus. I refuse to let either side use me. I will not follow the Dark Lord; I will not take his mark and then turn spy for the light like you did. Just because you made a mistake when you were younger and have to live under the thumb of both the headmaster and Voldemort, doesn’t mean I should have to pay for it.”

“Draco, you don’t understand.” Severus said, standing as well but I shook my head and started for the door, “He has your mother Draco.”

I spun quickly, “Where is she? Is she alright?” I came back up to the desk and slammed my hands down on it, “Why didn’t you tell me she was in trouble instead of all this bullshit about accepting the mark?!”

“Because she’s not in trouble, yet. But you know that Narcissa has the mark, your father made her take it. When you do not show up for your initiation, who do you think the Dark Lord will look to first?” Severus hissed, “It’s bad enough that you went around the train telling the children of death eaters that you thought they were idiots. Narcissa will probably be reprimanded for it when they spread that rumor to their parents, but she will be severely punished if the rumors prove to be true. I understand that neither of you believes in his cause, because I have lost faith in it as well, but unless the damned boy-who-lived destroys Voldemort by 9 pm all hallows eve, you will have to take the mark or live with the burden of having caused your mother’s death. Now do you understand?”

I nodded, “Yes, Professor, I understand perfectly,” I clenched my fists, “May I leave now, sir?”

“Yes Draco, you can go, I have to prepare my lesson plan….” Severus said, sitting back down and pulling a piece of parchment towards him.

“Thank you sir,” I said, barely managing to keep my pace at a walk and my face calm until I reached my room, and even as it was I still bowled over Ginny who was waiting outside the portrait to my room. “Watch where you’re…Oh, it’s you. Sorry.” I said, extending a hand to help her up, “I didn’t see you.”

“You were looking right at me…” She frowned, then put a hand on my shoulder and stared at my face, “Geez Malfoy, you ok? You look like shit. What happened? Do you need to talk about it?”

“You’re a blunt one aren’t you?” I sighed, “I really don’t think it’s any of your business…” I opened the portrait and tried to close it but she stuck her foot in. “I really don’t feel like talking Weasley. Please remove your foot.”

“Nope.” She said and squeezed her way into the room. “I’ve got 6 brothers, plus Harry so I know what guys look like when they need to talk and right now you’ve got ‘kill me’ face something awful. A few months ago, I woulda killed you, no questions asked but Harry told me you’re ok, so it looks like I’m gonna have to ask the questions. Which is a shame because I prefer the old adage ‘ shoot first, shoot some more, and then when everybody’s dead maybe ask a few questions.’ So talk.” She said rather rapidly, flinging herself down across and arm chair and staring at me intently. “Well?”

“Have your brothers, or Harry for that matter, ever tried to kill you?” I asked, quite seriously, giving her my best Malfoy glare and getting absolutely no reaction.

“Yup. A couple of times actually, why do you think I’m so good at hexes?” Ginny grinned, “But I know you’re an only child, so a sibling trying to kill you probably isn’t your problem. Is this about Harry? Are you having some kind of delayed reaction or something? I know a good calming charm….or we could just get stoned. That usually works pretty well for me.”

“No, it’s not about Harry,” I sighed, and then swore, “Shit. What is Harry gonna think?! Damn, just when…” I sighed again and threw myself down hard on my bed. I couldn’t have a proper breakdown with Ginny in the room, but I could lower the mask a little. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, godsdamned it all to hell!”

Ginny raised an eyebrow, “Is that anything like ‘fuck, fuck, fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo?’” she asked.

“What?” I asked, lifting my head to stare at the crazy girl. She just continued to stare with that raised eyebrow so I dropped my head again, “You are one freaky chick, Weasley.” I lay there on my bed for a good ten minutes silently, waiting for her to get the hint and leave. She didn’t. “You’re just going to sit there until I tell you what’s wrong, aren’t you?” I asked, raising my head again to look at her. She nodded and I sighed, “Mind if I smoke while we talk?” she shook her head, and like Harry had, pulled out her own. “Gryffindorks doing pot…A Malfoy having a heart to heart with a Weasley…the world is going to pieces, eh Ginny?” Another nod. “Wow, you are a good listener, kinda like my wall.”

“Yes, but with infinitely better fashion sense.” She laughed, “Though this place isn’t too shabby,” she conceded after blowing a thick stream of smoke out the side of her mouth and smiling. “So, what’s up?”

“Remember how I told you last night that I hate Voldemort and that I’m not a death eater?” I asked, and she nodded again slowly, “Alright, well I still hate Voldemort and I’m still not a death eater…but if I don’t find a way out of taking the mark before Halloween, Voldemort will kill my mother because she has to be there since she is a death eater, though she didn’t want to be, and he’ll blame her for my absence. Not to mention he’ll probably figure out that Snape is a spy because he’s supposed to be the one who brings me and that’ll throw your guys’ operation through some nasty loops.” I sighed and took a hit. “And that’s what’s wrong with me…mostly.” I glanced at her and mumbled, “and then there’s the whole Harry thing….”

“And people think I’ve got problems.” Ginny shook her head, “Well, I’m not sure how I personally can help you with the Voldemort thing, seems like you’re kinda screwed there all around unless Harry whoops him into the ground. I would say talk to Dumbledore, but I know Dumbledore and he’s probably the one who told Snape to push you on this. He’d just love a good reason to shove a nice wedge between you and Harry, and he’d probably be getting another spy in the bargain, assuming you’ve been telling me the truth about hating Moldywarts.” She looked at me sideways, “But I can help you with the Harry thing, especially if it’s cuz you like him like I think you like him.”

“You uh,” I exhaled, “you heard that bit huh?” She nodded and grinned and I groaned, “Great….first with Severus waking me up from a really good dream and now my enemy’s little sister noticing….er…wait…what exactly is it you’re thinking?”

“Well even if I wasn’t thinking it before I’d be thinking it now,” she giggled, “Care to elaborate on the dream or can I just fill in the blanks? Hmm, let me see, you and Harry, nakedness, or possibly tight pants…or maybe both…cherry flavored lube…” she shook herself, “Oh, god, I wish I had some veritaserum and a pensieve.”

“Why, so you could use it for blackmail?” Draco asked suspiciously, vowing to never accept anything that truth serum could be put in from Ginny ever, and at the same time making a mental note on the cherry flavored lube idea.

“No! Of course not! That image is way too yummy to share.” She giggled, “Quick, quick, say something gross to get it out of my head, or I’ll never be any help.” She kicked at the air, “No, wait, I got it, Dumbledore in a tutu, dancing the dance of the sugar plum fairy.” She snorted and hummed a little bit of the song, “Yeah, that’ll work….” She took a few deep breaths and started giggling again, “Nope, never mind, no I can’t stop laughing! You better think of something or we’re gonna be here all day!”

I blinked at her, then remembered something I had found particularly disgusting, “Do you know how you get the puss out of bubotuber plants?” I asked and she shook her head, holding in the laughter, and a lungful of smoke, “well, let’s just say its an NC-17 rated version of how you open those damned books Hagrid gave us.” I said and shuddered.

“Eww…yeah…ok, ‘nuff said.” She said, also shuddering. “Alright, back on subject, and that subject is Harry. Before I decide to help you, I need to know if you really like Harry or if you just want to shag him silly like the rest of us. Because if you just want to shag him, I have to inform you that he is not ready for anything like that and won’t be for longer then many of the male population would like. I’m sure he’d like to have a good bonkfest, but if you think yesterday’s episode was bad…” she drifted off, shaking her head. “So which is it? Do you like him or do you want him?”

“I don’t know…but can’t it be both?” I asked hopefully. “I mean, yeah I want to, ‘bonk’ him was it? But, at the same time I also want to make him happy and safe, even if that’s just in a purely non-sexual capacity. I…guess I kinda found that out yesterday when I saw him in the garden all by himself…crying. It made me realize that he hasn’t really smiled since…actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile, except when he was singing to himself on the train, and that was like…mind blowing. ”

Ginny nodded sagely, “Alright, good enough for now. Looks like you’re my new grasshopper then….so…how are you planning on telling Harry about the whole Death Eater thing?”

“I’m hoping I won’t have to,” I sighed, not even trying to figure out the whole grasshopper thing, “Maybe there’s another way out and I won’t have to at all…OW!” I shouted, having been beamed with a shoe. “What the hell was that for?!”

“Bad grasshopper!” Ginny scolded, “You can’t keep something like this from him. Do you have any idea how pissed he’ll be if he finds out from someone else? I mean yeah, you’re gonna have some work to do getting him to trust you again either way, but I highly suggest you tell him sooner rather then later.” She stood and shook her finger at me, “And that will be your first homework lesson of the year. I fully expect you to have figured out a way to tell him by Halloween, and I’ll be checking your progress frequently. For now, I think I’ll go rescue Harry from the RonandHermy monster and see what his views on the subject are.” She grinned and bounced out, “God, I love playing Yente!” I heard her squeal as she no doubt skipped down the hallway.

“Freaky, freaky chick.” I shook my head and decided a nap would be good. Maybe I could finish off that lovely dream.


A/N: Sorry for the short and unsatisfying slash, but its just supposed to be a teaser anyway! Thank you for the reviews as always, sorry you don't get to see Dumbledore's demands yet thornbrooke, but its coming, its coming, and paigeey, you are welcome...i think.....**throws random goodies** Enjoy my friends, enjoy! Oh, and if you like this, I'm going to start posting an original slash story i'm working on called "The Fine Line" on the same chapter by chapter basis I do here. Check it out and let me know what you think, because I want to have that one published some day hopefully and I need the constructive criticism!! And now, I must depart to go do some dancing of my own with my oh so lovely hubbie Blondie. See you all tomorrow!!