Forgiveness

Thanks to Jilliane for her support of this story.

This chapter was beta'ed by Drusilla of Perfect Imagination.

Forgiveness

Chapter 5

Brick directed Severus to a large quonset hut that functioned as the main building for the compound. Several other outlying buildings of various styles dotted the landscape. There was a neat row of simple cottages behind the quonset hut and a small, spell-fortified building that Severus supposed housed the potions-making portion of the compound. Brick showed Severus into the main building, humming tunelessly under his breath. He paused in his song to say, “Doc's expecting you. Just go to the door at the end of the hall and let yoreself in.”

Severus did as he was instructed, and an irritated female voice answered at his tentative knock, “Oh for God's sake, what is it now? Come in.”

Severus paused, telling himself he needed the job, a mantra by which he was thoroughly nauseated. Once his temper was under control, he entered the room. A woman in her mid-thirties sat before an aluminium-framed window, her dark auburn hair pulled back in a severe queue by a black elastic hairband. Her features, taken separately, would have rendered her plain, but on the whole, Severus judged her to be handsome, with her long nose and a chin that was just scant millimetres short of being jutting. Her dark, hazel eyes raked Severus in an assessing gaze as she greeted him. “You must be the new Potions Master they hired. Spane, huh?”

She then turned back to the paperwork that had so absorbed her before he entered. Severus counted to ten, then twenty before he spoke. “If I am disturbing you, Madam, I could return at a later time.”

The woman had the audacity to hold up one finger at him as she continued perusing the papers before her. After a full minute, Severus knew because he counted, she turned her dark eyes to him, her expression one of patent condescension. “It's Doctor. I am a qualified Healer and a Physician.”

She cast her eyes significantly to the plaques framed on the wall, each proclaiming her achievements. Severus sniffed, letting a sneer mar his face for the first time in days. She stood, drawing herself to her full five feet of height and paced to the door. “Follow me, Mr. Spane.”

“It is Master Spane. I apprenticed under two of the best Master Brewers in Europe,” Severus said, as he lurched from the seat. He flexed his hands attempting to keep them from strangling the woman whose manner was rude, even for this rough country. She stopped, turning around to take his full measure, before she inclined her head as if in acquiescence. Snape smirked in response.

She set quite a fair pace as she showed him the compound; another man his age who had not spent the past twenty years climbing the mountainous stairs at Hogwarts or dodging curses as a spy, would have been hard-pressed to match her pace as she flitted from one area to the other. Severus gathered from the whirlwind tour that much of the research of the compound centred on curse reversal.

The doctor stopped before the warded building he had noted earlier, and after waving her wand in a complex motion, the doors opened. The odour of dog and sweet hay assailed Severus' acute sense of smell. He covered his nose with his hand as they entered the building. The doctor smiled maliciously at him as she introduced the focus of their current study: three smallish figures backlit by the windows high up on the wall. “This is Kaya, Shiriki and Shiye.”

Three gracile wild-dogs peered at him with yellow eyes and feral intelligence. He stepped back involuntarily. “You work with wolves?”

“No, these are coyotes. These three have been infected with a curse similar to the one that creates werewolves. The effect is reversed in them, of course, they change during the full moon to a type of human form. It's an ailment that's indigenous to this region. We tried testing Deer Women, but only the does are affected with that curse. We needed a population of male and female subjects to test the improved treatments we've created.” The woman stepped towards the animals, her hand extended. The two dogs stepped forward and extended black noses to her. The bitch paced at the back of the cage, panting and darting nervous looks at the humans. “That's why you're here. We're trying to reverse-engineer a cure for lycanthropy. I hope your impressive resume was factual. The last idiot that the home office sent blew himself up trying to modify Wolfsbane potion. Wasted a lot of my time, too.”

Severus watched the coyote bitch as she made her circuit of the cage. She came to a stop and stared directly at him. He felt as if a cold breeze slid down his back as she gave three short yips. The two dogs retreated, their tails sail straight. The bitch continued to look at the Potions Master until the doctor broke her concentration. “So, can you brew Wolfsbane?”

“I can.” Severus turned his eyes from the dogs, still wary.

The woman smirked in disbelief. “Well, that will be your first project. Let me show you your quarters.”

“Quarters?” Severus followed the doctor out of the outbuilding, his long strides overtaking her shorter ones effortlessly. “I was not made aware that I was to stay on the premises. I have an apprentice and a... d-daughter.”

“Great.” She turned back to the main building, fuming as she went. Severus heard several cursed phrases as he reluctantly followed. Brick met her at the front of the main building. The two had a whispered conversation while Severus contemplated finding other employment. The woman stormed into the building, leaving Severus and Brick staring at each other.

“Don't worry 'bout the Doc, Spane,” he said, as he sauntered to the Potions Master. “She's havin' a rough time with the corporation. They sprung you on her without any notice.”

“Indeed, I cannot understand why they might do that,” Severus retorted dryly.

Brick took off a battered baseball cap with a curvaceous, broom-riding witch logo emblazoned on it, and scratched his balding head. “Well, we'll have to do some movin' around, but we can accommodate you and yore kids here. It'll be nice havin' younguns around again. Why don't you go fetch 'em and I'll have things ready for you when you get back.”

&*&*&

Stella was reading a text and Joseph Pony deeply embroiled in a battered science fiction novel when he returned. The boy enquired, as he turned a page, “How'd it go?”

Severus busied himself with lunch preparations, trying to calm the anger at the impossible woman who was to be his direct supervisor. He noted the lack of clutter, a usual side-effect of Joseph Pony's potions efforts. He snapped, “Mr. Red Horse, is it impossible for you to follow simple instructions?”

Joseph Pony grunted noncommittally. “Don't know what you're talkin' about.”

“Did I, or did I not, instruct you to gather the potions ingredients that were needed for Fever-Rid potion?” Severus spun on the boy, levelling a glare at him that would have sent a braver man skittering. Joseph Pony looked up, a spark of anger in his own eyes, his jaw set stubbornly. Severus pulled the boy by his sleeve to the window of the caravan. “Did I not tell you to gather the ingredients from that stand right in front of your very eyes?”

Stella began to speak, but Severus cut her off brutally. “I did not ask you to interject your trifling opinion, Miss Cadeaux. On the slim chance that I might value your somewhat limited input, I will ask you for it. Is that understood?”

The girl fled from the caravan, slamming the door behind her. Joseph Pony glowered at him. “You know, old man, you can talk to me any way you want, but not her.”

The young man pulled himself from Severus' grasp, and reached under the counter to the drying closet they had rigged. “Here's your goddamn plants. Those out by the trailer were contaminated with oil. Stella and me went into the woods to get these.”

The boy slammed from the caravan, calling for his cousin. Severus sank to a seat, his frayed temper causing him to shake uncontrollably. He could not do this. He just couldn't.

&*&*&

The Old Woman looked at him as he sat peeling carrots the Muggle way that Christmas day, the first one he spent with the family. She had given up puffing on her pipe to peel boiled peanuts between her toothless gums. “You haven't said your name, Wizard.”

“You did not ask if you might abduct me, Madam,” he answered, keeping his tone even as he would do with any lunatic.

The Old Woman wheezed a laugh, spitting the shell of the legume into her hand. “I didn't say you had to stay, ennit?”

Severus could not formulate an answer so he huffed loudly to cover his lack of response. The Old Woman stood and grasped his chin between her claw-like fingers. She turned his face to profile then pulled his chin forward. Severus did not know why he felt no objection to her touch. Most people made his skin crawl when they looked at him. Dumbledore always had, but the Old Woman's assessment was different. She made a noise, a sound he had only heard during his time on the Reservation, issuing from native throats and containing different meanings. From her, it sounded like approval. “You ain't so bad to look at, once you quit your frowning. I like your nose. It's an Lakota nose, good and strong. Your eyes is Lakota too; they don't lie about what to expect from you.”

She dropped her hand. “So, Mr. Wizard from England, you wanna rest here for a little while? I think that no wasicu demon will want to find you here. You're amongst family if you wanna be.”

Severus made no response but to pick up another carrot and peel it over the days old newspaper. The Old Woman turned to the tap and washed her hands. “So, you never told me your name. You want I should give you one? You may not like it.”

She slid a clipping out of her pocket, and passed it to the wizard. Severus froze, seeing his black eyes and scowling visage moving in the picture that accompanied an article in the US Wizarding Today. He recognised it as one of the articles that had come out right after his trial. The headline read luridly: “Spy Still Missing After Aquittal.”

Severus stood, knocking over the chair that he had occupied in his haste to flee. The old woman waved her hand and the article disappeared. “Like I said, you might not like the name I give you. Sit down, Boy. I need help with dinner and you need some meat on them bones.”

She turned to the hob. “You got them carrots peeled yet?”

&*&*&

He finished making the lunch, his head pounding. Joseph Pony had returned with Stella a few moments earlier, and they sat on the bench of the picnic table on their campsite. Lake Wister, the man-made monstrosity at which they camped, glistened in the sun and the wind whipped Stella's hair viciously. She ought not to be out in the cool March air after having been ill the day before, but Severus could not make himself move outside the caravan. The familiar ache of shame stayed him, kept him prisoner. He sat heavily at the table, cradling his aching head as tears pricked behind his eyelids and emotion clogged his throat.

He had always dealt with strong emotion by a flurry of anger. Potter had been targeted unfairly, as had Granger during his stress-filled days at the end of his tenure at Hogwarts. Of course, Potter had had the dubious distinction of looking exactly like the man that had stolen his mate, but Granger had only reminded himself of Severus Snape as a young man, not really a punishable offence, unless you were him. And of course, she had been friendly with the werewolf and the mutt. How was she to know what crimes they had inflicted on a boy who was counted on to protect his mother from his drunken father? A boy who had done nothing more than be homely and bookish, just as she was.

He shivered once more as he looked at his two charges with the dawning realisation that he now was using the boy and Stella as his new punching bags, just as his father had used Severus and his mother. Shame and self-recrimination was his constant companion. He covered his face and wept.

&*&*&

“You ever been happy, boy?”

The Old Woman refused to call him by any other name since her revelation the day he had moved into the ramshackle house. He had spent the last three months helping Joseph Pony roof the house and caulk windows that rattled and howled in the prairie wind. He was standing atop a ten-foot ladder with nails in his mouth. He had been affixing a gutter to the house all day. He spat the nails into his palm, one by one as he needed them. “I see you lookin' at that woman's picture every night before you go to bed. She was special to you, I know. But did she ever make you happy?”

“Madam, that question is impertinent, and I must ask you to mind your own bloody business,” Severus answered after spitting the remaining nails from his mouth. “Go badger your grandchildren.”

“Supper's ready. You need to wash up.”

Severus grunted and continued the work he was doing. He only had a small amount to complete, and then he would go inside. The Old Woman's original question echoed in his head with each swing of the hammer. Severus could honestly say that he had always been a miserable human being and would probably remain so until his death, some years in the future. He did not have to have the talent possessed by the Old Woman to predict that sad state of affairs.

&*&*&

He felt Stella's cool hands on his neck. “Daddy, why don’cha eat something and tell us what's wrong?”

She looped a cool arm around his shoulder. He said more harshly than was strictly necessary, “You're chilled. You should not have been outside for so long.”

“Yeah, and whose fault was that?” Joseph Pony snarled.

Severus darted a glance at the boy, unsure if the evidence of his breakdown was on his face, only aware that they were expected back at the compound some time during the day. “It was completely mine, Mr. Red Horse.”

Joseph Pony gave a soft snort and then sat across from his mentor. He asked, his voice pitched softly for privacy, “’Rus, your flashbacks are getting worse, aren't they?”

The older wizard nodded mutely as Stella made herself busy with dishing plates of the canned ravioli and green beans. Joseph Pony sighed, “Well, I put back some Calming Draft from the last batch. Take some so you can go back to work. When we get settled, would you go to see a Medicine Man? We're in Choctaw country so I know they got a few around. I know we already talked about it, but they won't treat you like a white Healer would, and they know how to keep their mouths shut.”

“I will... consider it.” Severus stared dully at the plate that Stella sat before him. She ran her hand through his hair, a soft ruffling touch that reminded him of his mother's when he was a child. He resisted the urge to lean into it. “Today, I was informed that we will have to stay on the compound.”

“Are there any kids?” Stella asked, her eyes alight.

“Not any of which I am aware. Sit down and tuck in, Stella, you barely ate breakfast.” Severus shoved a fork through the mush on his plate, trying to convince himself it were edible. “The compound is extremely dangerous. It houses a pack of were-coyotes and has been frequented by were-deer.”

“Shit,” Joseph Pony whispered. “They had a Deer Woman there?”

Stella's fork which had been progressing rapidly to her mouth was arrested in mid-air, hanging loosely from her fingers. “Do we hafta stay there?”

“I am afraid so; as you know, some potions have to be tended at all hours.” Severus picked up a squishy-filled noodle and swallowed it whole. “There will be no question of you going near the were-dogs, Stella. If I catch you around their area, you will be punished.”

“No worries there,” Joseph Pony interjected. “I catch you around them, squirt, your ass is grass.”

“Language, Mr. Red Horse,” Severus growled, his heart not in the admonishment.

The children chorused, “English, Mr. Tuvock.”

“Americans; everything is a joke with you,” Severus groused. The two finished the meal in general hilarity.

&*&*&

Severus let Joseph Pony drive to the compound so that he might better be able to find the way on his own. When they arrived they were greeted by the entire staff. Stella hung shyly by Severus, slipping a clammy hand in his. He looked down on her face and fought the urge to check her for fever. Instead he gave her a tight smile.

The staff consisted of two middle-aged sisters, Beatrix and Regula Zanola, who specialised in Charms and Arithmancy, a young man, Johnson Kraemer, who was a traditional Healer, and Brick, who tended to the animals and ran a very impressive botanical operation. The Doctor introduced each to Severus who greeted them civilly. He introduced the two children. The older women smiled at Stella but said nothing. Brick stepped forward. “Doc, I think it's time he got his self and his family settled.”

“Oh, certainly.” The woman had the decency to blush at her oversight. “Could the children spare you a moment, Mr. Spane?”

Severus suppressed a groan, unwilling to clash with the woman again. “I do apologise, my daughter has been ill, and I need to see to her comfort.”

“Well, certainly. I'll stop by your cottage later this evening if that's all right?” The doctor answered, looking at her watch. “Say, seven? Will that give you time to get everything settled?”

Severus nodded as a sour feeling settled in his stomach. Ah, the joys of office politics, how he had missed them these past few years.


The names of the coyotes are from 20,000names.com.

Kaya: from the Hopi, means elder sister
Shiriki: from the Pawnee, means coyote
Shiye: from the Navajo, means son

The Deer Woman is a real character in the Native American pantheon of the plains, southern and western tribes. She is said to be a beautiful woman who lures men to be unfaithful or promiscuous and then makes them waste away. The Deer Woman is a cautionary tale to make sure that men of a tribe are chaste and their intent is pure. Sorry, were-coyotes are my own invention.


Now that you've read the chapter, leave a review or a rating to feed the hungry author.