Windows of the Soul

Author's Notes: This story ignores HBP and DH. Thank you to my beta Sometimeselkie for all her hard work.


Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 5-Anguish

Remus, Severus, and Ellorra walked out of the room and she allowed the two men to guide her up the stairs. They walked up two flights of stairs and reached a door. Severus opened it and Remus guided Ellorra into the room. The room itself was not overly large, but large enough that there was a queen size bed by one wall with the usual wardrobe and drawers.

Severus looked at Ellorra. “I think that you will need your other set to take a look around your new room.” With that, Remus watched with fascination as Ellorra closed her eyes and then slowly opened them. When they were open he saw that they were the wolf’s. She smiled sadly at her father. “I will look around to orient myself to my new surroundings, and then I will be able to get around as myself.”

Remus looked at her, puzzled.


“I have been blind for a while, Papa; I have adapted. Even though I can use my wolf senses like this, it is difficult to do so and sometimes I feel ill afterwards if I use it too long, so when I go to somewhere different that I don’t know, I look around first, then I go back to being me.”

Remus nodded his head as if he understood, but he didn’t really. His head was swimming with so many things; as long as Ellorra was OK, then everything was alright.

Severus looked at Remus’s pale face and turned to Ellorra. “We will let you get acquainted with your room and rest. We will see you in the morning.”

He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked towards the door, waiting for Remus when he reached it. Remus looked at his daughter, not wanting to leave her but knowing that she needed rest. He reluctantly hugged her and kissed her cheek, whispering, “I cannot believe you are here; I’m worried that this is all a dream and I will wake up and you are gone.”

“I am not a dream, Papa; I will still be here in the morning. Go. Get some rest; you look so tired.” She kissed his cheek and gently pushed him towards the door and Severus.

Severus took Remus’s hand and, with a smile at Ellorra, closed her door and guided him to his own rooms. When inside, Remus seemed to collapse onto the bed with what sounded like a sob.

Severus went over to the bed, sat down, and put his hand on Remus’s shoulder. Remus lifted his head to look at his lover; tears were running down his face. He suddenly stood up and started to pace up and down the room.

“Why, why did he do it? He stole our lives. He stole her childhood. She should have been with me, her father, not strangers.

“Why was it always his way he was just like a child always wanting his own way? He never thought of others. He didn’t trust me or my love. He took away my choices. I didn’t choose to give her away or to have my memories taken from me. He did that...Sirius...Bloody...Black.”

Severus sat quietly whilst Remus ranted and paced, waiting until he had calmed down a bit.

Severus had always hated Black. He hated him in school for the way Black and Potter had treated him, then later on when he had realised Black and Remus were together. Now he hated him for what Remus and Ellorra had gone through. Severus had known that he had loved Remus since they were fourth years, when he realised that beneath those tired robes was a very hot body (and his mind was sharp too), but had not been able to get near Remus because of Black. So he had loved him from afar. When Remus had come back to teach in Harry’s third year, Severus had dared to hope that they could build something, but Black’s escape had thwarted that idea. When Remus had gotten back together with Black shortly after, it had broken Severus’s heart, but watching Remus fall apart after Black’s death had been something that he would never forget. Severus had sworn then that he would try and mend both of their hearts, but it had taken months until Remus would even think about just going out for coffee with him. He now had Remus, and he would be damned if he would let Black take him away again, even in death. If Remus felt that they had to go their separate ways for a while, then Severus would: it would literally kill him, but he would do it for Remus. He would do anything for Remus.

Remus stopped pacing and turned to look at Severus, who was still sitting on the bed watching him. He stepped towards the bed when Severus sighed and got to his feet.

“If you need time to work things out, then I will give you time and space, Lupin.”

“Since when did I become Lupin again, Severus?” Remus asked in nothing more than a whisper.

“You have just had major upheavals in your life and your mind; you need some space to sort things out.”

“And the best way for me to do this is...is to lose another person I love from my life?” Remus stared at his lover.

“You are not losing me, Lupin; I am just giving you some space to get things sorted out.” He turned towards the door, unshed tears glistening on his eye lashes; he looked lovingly at the only person he ever loved. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask; you know where I’ll be.” As he started back towards the door, a hand grabbed at his arm and he was turned around to face an angry and hurt werewolf.

“You are not going anywhere. I will not lose you. I have lost everyone that I have cared about. I will not lose you even if it is to your own stupidity.”

Severus spluttered, “Stupidity? You call that stupidity? Do you have any idea what it just cost me to let you go? Do you know how much I love you, you mangy wolf?” He was so angry that he didn’t see the anger fade from Remus’s face or see the hope and fear flood his lover’s face.

Remus knew that he loved the snarky, greasy-haired Potions professor and he didn’t want to lose him. Out of all the thoughts running through Remus’s head, one kept jumping forward: he loved Severus Snape.

He placed his hands on either side of Severus’s face and gently leant forward and kissed him. It started off as no more than a whisper, and then increased until Remus sighed and opened his mouth, which let Severus’s tongue inside. They kissed until they were both breathing hard from lack of air and also need. Remus looked into his lover’s face. “Come to bed, Sev. Please don’t leave me. I love you.”

Severus looked at the hope-filled eyes and gently took Remus’s hand. “I won’t leave you, Remy. I love you too.” He carefully led him back to the bed. “Why don’t you get into bed and wait for me while I check if the house is secure.”

“OK, but hurry up because I need you, Sev.” Remus whimpered, and then smiled as Severus leaned over and placed a bruising kiss on his lips. With a swish of his robes, Severus left the room.

Remus kept smiling while he undressed, the smile only faltering when he had taken his shirt off. He saw again the thin silvery-white scars along his arms, but he knew that he was stronger this time and that there wouldn’t be any more because he had Severus and he would keep him safe. With a smile at this thought, he took off his trousers and slipped into bed daydreaming about when Severus would come back.

Severus walked out of the bedroom and went to check the downstairs wards; it was something he always did before bed, a side effect of being a spy for all these years. As he was checking the second story he heard a noise. He went to a door and knocked, and when there was no answer he grabbed the door handle and entered the room. It was the same room they had put Ellorra in earlier; he glanced around and found her on the floor in the corner behind the bed, shaking.

He went over, knelt in front of her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped at the contact, but calmed when she heard his voice. “Ellorra, I take it that the Calming Draught has worn off.”

She was shaking so badly he nearly missed her head nodding. “I told you that it could have side effects, due to your condition, but...” He placed his finger on her lips as she tried to say something. “I understand that you would want to be calm when first meeting the Papa you cannot remember, but it was a one off. I will not allow you to take another; you must allow your Papa to get to know the real you, even if she has flaws like the rest of us, but I will give you a sleeping potion tonight.”

With that he smiled and carefully picked her up and carried her to the bed, placing her in the middle of it, and covered her up with a blanket. Taking a vial out of his robes, he placed it to her lips and watched as she swallowed the potion. When the vessel was empty, he leant down and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry for disappointing you, Tatko,” she whispered. “I just wanted him to meet me without any of my problems.”

Severus looked at her with love in his eyes. Remus thought she looked like Black, but she was so much Remus’s daughter it scared him sometimes, this love that he felt for both of them, his lover and his daughter.

Placing his hand on her shoulder, he smiled gently. “You didn’t disappoint me, Lyubim; sleep now and we will talk more in the morning.” He watched as she closed her eyes, and her breathing changed to that of sleep. He walked out of the room, took one last look at the girl in the bed, and closed the door quietly before going back to his waiting love.

A/N:Tatko is Bulgarian for Papa, Lyubim is also Bulgarian for beloved as Ellorra went to school at Durmstrang then I have placed it in or around Bulgaria so it stands that she would know some of the language. Oh and Snape just knows lots of stuff.













Author's Notes: This story ignores HBP and DH. Thank you to my beta Sometimeselkie for all her hard work.


Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 5-Anguish

Remus, Severus, and Ellorra walked out of the room and she allowed the two men to guide her up the stairs. They walked up two flights of stairs and reached a door. Severus opened it and Remus guided Ellorra into the room. The room itself was not overly large, but large enough that there was a queen size bed by one wall with the usual wardrobe and drawers.

Severus looked at Ellorra. “I think that you will need your other set to take a look around your new room.” With that, Remus watched with fascination as Ellorra closed her eyes and then slowly opened them. When they were open he saw that they were the wolf’s. She smiled sadly at her father. “I will look around to orient myself to my new surroundings, and then I will be able to get around as myself.”

Remus looked at her, puzzled.


“I have been blind for a while, Papa; I have adapted. Even though I can use my wolf senses like this, it is difficult to do so and sometimes I feel ill afterwards if I use it too long, so when I go to somewhere different that I don’t know, I look around first, then I go back to being me.”

Remus nodded his head as if he understood, but he didn’t really. His head was swimming with so many things; as long as Ellorra was OK, then everything was alright.

Severus looked at Remus’s pale face and turned to Ellorra. “We will let you get acquainted with your room and rest. We will see you in the morning.”

He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked towards the door, waiting for Remus when he reached it. Remus looked at his daughter, not wanting to leave her but knowing that she needed rest. He reluctantly hugged her and kissed her cheek, whispering, “I cannot believe you are here; I’m worried that this is all a dream and I will wake up and you are gone.”

“I am not a dream, Papa; I will still be here in the morning. Go. Get some rest; you look so tired.” She kissed his cheek and gently pushed him towards the door and Severus.

Severus took Remus’s hand and, with a smile at Ellorra, closed her door and guided him to his own rooms. When inside, Remus seemed to collapse onto the bed with what sounded like a sob.

Severus went over to the bed, sat down, and put his hand on Remus’s shoulder. Remus lifted his head to look at his lover; tears were running down his face. He suddenly stood up and started to pace up and down the room.

“Why, why did he do it? He stole our lives. He stole her childhood. She should have been with me, her father, not strangers.

“Why was it always his way he was just like a child always wanting his own way? He never thought of others. He didn’t trust me or my love. He took away my choices. I didn’t choose to give her away or to have my memories taken from me. He did that...Sirius...Bloody...Black.”

Severus sat quietly whilst Remus ranted and paced, waiting until he had calmed down a bit.

Severus had always hated Black. He hated him in school for the way Black and Potter had treated him, then later on when he had realised Black and Remus were together. Now he hated him for what Remus and Ellorra had gone through. Severus had known that he had loved Remus since they were fourth years, when he realised that beneath those tired robes was a very hot body (and his mind was sharp too), but had not been able to get near Remus because of Black. So he had loved him from afar. When Remus had come back to teach in Harry’s third year, Severus had dared to hope that they could build something, but Black’s escape had thwarted that idea. When Remus had gotten back together with Black shortly after, it had broken Severus’s heart, but watching Remus fall apart after Black’s death had been something that he would never forget. Severus had sworn then that he would try and mend both of their hearts, but it had taken months until Remus would even think about just going out for coffee with him. He now had Remus, and he would be damned if he would let Black take him away again, even in death. If Remus felt that they had to go their separate ways for a while, then Severus would: it would literally kill him, but he would do it for Remus. He would do anything for Remus.

Remus stopped pacing and turned to look at Severus, who was still sitting on the bed watching him. He stepped towards the bed when Severus sighed and got to his feet.

“If you need time to work things out, then I will give you time and space, Lupin.”

“Since when did I become Lupin again, Severus?” Remus asked in nothing more than a whisper.

“You have just had major upheavals in your life and your mind; you need some space to sort things out.”

“And the best way for me to do this is...is to lose another person I love from my life?” Remus stared at his lover.

“You are not losing me, Lupin; I am just giving you some space to get things sorted out.” He turned towards the door, unshed tears glistening on his eye lashes; he looked lovingly at the only person he ever loved. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask; you know where I’ll be.” As he started back towards the door, a hand grabbed at his arm and he was turned around to face an angry and hurt werewolf.

“You are not going anywhere. I will not lose you. I have lost everyone that I have cared about. I will not lose you even if it is to your own stupidity.”

Severus spluttered, “Stupidity? You call that stupidity? Do you have any idea what it just cost me to let you go? Do you know how much I love you, you mangy wolf?” He was so angry that he didn’t see the anger fade from Remus’s face or see the hope and fear flood his lover’s face.

Remus knew that he loved the snarky, greasy-haired Potions professor and he didn’t want to lose him. Out of all the thoughts running through Remus’s head, one kept jumping forward: he loved Severus Snape.

He placed his hands on either side of Severus’s face and gently leant forward and kissed him. It started off as no more than a whisper, and then increased until Remus sighed and opened his mouth, which let Severus’s tongue inside. They kissed until they were both breathing hard from lack of air and also need. Remus looked into his lover’s face. “Come to bed, Sev. Please don’t leave me. I love you.”

Severus looked at the hope-filled eyes and gently took Remus’s hand. “I won’t leave you, Remy. I love you too.” He carefully led him back to the bed. “Why don’t you get into bed and wait for me while I check if the house is secure.”

“OK, but hurry up because I need you, Sev.” Remus whimpered, and then smiled as Severus leaned over and placed a bruising kiss on his lips. With a swish of his robes, Severus left the room.

Remus kept smiling while he undressed, the smile only faltering when he had taken his shirt off. He saw again the thin silvery-white scars along his arms, but he knew that he was stronger this time and that there wouldn’t be any more because he had Severus and he would keep him safe. With a smile at this thought, he took off his trousers and slipped into bed daydreaming about when Severus would come back.

Severus walked out of the bedroom and went to check the downstairs wards; it was something he always did before bed, a side effect of being a spy for all these years. As he was checking the second story he heard a noise. He went to a door and knocked, and when there was no answer he grabbed the door handle and entered the room. It was the same room they had put Ellorra in earlier; he glanced around and found her on the floor in the corner behind the bed, shaking.

He went over, knelt in front of her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped at the contact, but calmed when she heard his voice. “Ellorra, I take it that the Calming Draught has worn off.”

She was shaking so badly he nearly missed her head nodding. “I told you that it could have side effects, due to your condition, but...” He placed his finger on her lips as she tried to say something. “I understand that you would want to be calm when first meeting the Papa you cannot remember, but it was a one off. I will not allow you to take another; you must allow your Papa to get to know the real you, even if she has flaws like the rest of us, but I will give you a sleeping potion tonight.”

With that he smiled and carefully picked her up and carried her to the bed, placing her in the middle of it, and covered her up with a blanket. Taking a vial out of his robes, he placed it to her lips and watched as she swallowed the potion. When the vessel was empty, he leant down and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry for disappointing you, Tatko,” she whispered. “I just wanted him to meet me without any of my problems.”

Severus looked at her with love in his eyes. Remus thought she looked like Black, but she was so much Remus’s daughter it scared him sometimes, this love that he felt for both of them, his lover and his daughter.

Placing his hand on her shoulder, he smiled gently. “You didn’t disappoint me, Lyubim; sleep now and we will talk more in the morning.” He watched as she closed her eyes, and her breathing changed to that of sleep. He walked out of the room, took one last look at the girl in the bed, and closed the door quietly before going back to his waiting love.

A/N:Tatko is Bulgarian for Papa, Lyubim is also Bulgarian for beloved as Ellorra went to school at Durmstrang then I have placed it in or around Bulgaria so it stands that she would know some of the language. Oh and Snape just knows lots of stuff.