Freedom

Ron moped around the flat for a couple of days after being kicked out of Raven\'s hospital room. He went to work of course, but like he predicted, he wasn\'t allowed to sit on any of the interviews though he was required to watch them from behind a one way mirror. He also hadn\'t been allowed to either observe Raven\'s questioning nor read what had transpired. Her file had been given top priority and special access given her father, but also for reasons that made Ron\'s blood run cold. Rumor had it that she had been raped while at St. Mungo\'s and that had been the reason why she\'d been released into private care long before she should have left the hospital.



He had written an owl asking if she were alright and if there was anything he could do for her but wound up merely stared at it for a good half hour debating on if he should send it or not. In the end, he remembered her cold words and cool dismissal of him and decided that he\'d better not. So the letter sat on his desk, ready to be sent and Ron sullenly went about his chores. Harry, unfortunately, was away on a mission so he couldn\'t go to him to talk about it... but even if Harry had been around, he wasn\'t sure he\'d want to talk to him. This wasn\'t exactly a bloke to bloke type thing. Instead, this was more of a Hermione question.



Steeling himself for a potential argument, he joined her in the kitchen to make lunch the Saturday following Raven\'s release. New Years was only a couple of days away and he wanted to know if it\'d be alright to owl Raven and perhaps ask her out to the party (just as friends) George and Lee were throwing. He thought it unlikely but he was hoping. "Hey," he mumbled to Hermione, pulling leftovers out of the fridge and preparing a plate of the meatloaf and mashed potatoes his mother had sent home with him the night before. "Surviving without Harry?"



Hermione shot him a look filled with venom (mild venom, she told herself, but still venom) then rolled her eyes. "Yes, Ronald. I am perfectly capable of going without sexual activity for more than twenty-four hours. I have done without for significantly longer periods than this, after all."



She eyed the plate he was fixing a moment, then shook her head. "You need to eat more vegetables and fewer starches, Ron. They break down into sugar and it isn\'t good for your teeth. At least have a salad," she nagged, practicing for when Harry returned.



"Oi! I\'m eating potatoes! Potatoes are a vegetable. And I had tomatoes at breakfast." Never mind that they were fried.... He sat kitty corner to Hermione and began eating. "Hermione... why would someone reject another person\'s offer for a friendship?" he asked softly, staring down at the food on his plate.



"Potatoes are tubers and are entirely sugary starch. You need something green for vitamins," she said, feeling more like a mother and less like a friend these days, which irked her. But it was an automatic response while she thought about his real question.



"I can think of a number of people I would rather die than be friends with, Ron, and I bet you can, too. I think I need more information," she said quietly, sitting down next to him at the table and leaning on her elbows as she watched him chew with his mouth closed for once. Something was really bothering him if he were eating so... politely. "What happened Ron?"



"I went to Raven\'s room the other day and gave her the cake and cards and balloons and the little Christmas tree you helped me shrink and she seemed really happy with it. She was really very... pretty," he sighed almost to himself before shaking that away and focusing on the conversation at hand. "I sang for her. Her ears didn\'t bleed so I guess I did alright with it. We started talking. I told her that her father came to visit me and she got real quiet. She told me that she was surprised Malfoy came by because he\'d never acknowledged her before. I thought that was so... sad. Anyway I told her that I was trying to get on the team that would interview her but she said that she wouldn\'t want me listening in on her interview because she wouldn\'t want my opinion changed of her from some of the things she\'d done.



"I said that it was done to her and any girl who would willingly stay at the club, like not as a slave like those girls had been, would be fucked up. She got real quiet and told me to leave. I don\'t... I don\'t even know what I\'d said. I apologized, but she still told me to leave." He sighed again and kept his eyes down at the plate of food in front of him. "There\'re rumors around the Aurory that she was raped at St. Mungo\'s and that was why she\'d been discharged early and I want so badly to owl her to make sure she\'s ok. I\'ve had the letter written for a couple of days now but I haven\'t... I haven\'t sent it. And I want to take her out for New Years, just as friends you know because she doesn\'t seem to have any and I know we\'d be good friends, but..." He trailed off and shrugged a shoulder. "I don\'t seem to be her favorite person right now and I don\'t even know why."



Hermione sighed, her thumb rubbing absently over her lip while she digested what he told her.



"Ron, let me see if I understood. Things were going well, and then she said she didn\'t want you to hear what she\'d been through because she didn\'t want your opinion of her to change. Then you made a comment about how she hadn\'t chosen it, and if a girl did, then there would be something wrong with her."



She shook her head, wondering briefly how boys survived without being eaten by their mothers. Literally. Like gyrfalcons did. Because they were such idiots. Even after years of friendship, Ron\'s ability to eat foot astounded her.



"Ron, is that exactly what you said?" she asked, knowing his lax memory for wording. It was something he\'d gotten much better about since he\'d started Auror training, but he still tended to gloss over details.



Closing his eyes, Ron thought long and hard about what he\'d said using some of the techniques he had been taught for memory recall. "She said, \'I wouldn\'t want your good opinion of me to change, were you to hear some of the things I\'ve done\'," he said, his voice distant with memory. "And I said, \'Done to you. I\'ve read just a few of the interviews from the women we\'ve already questioned and released and any girl who would willingly stay in that hellhole and willingly participate in even some of the more mild things I\'ve read, she would have to be seriously fucked in the head.\'" He opened his eyes and looked over at Hermione. "That\'s exactly what I said. I meant that any girl who would want to be willingly working for that pit instead of being forced to like a slave like the girls had been, would be fucked in the head. Did she take it another way?" he asked, his voice pitched with confusion that Raven could have interpreted his words differently.



Hermione smiled softly at him. "You\'re getting better at that," she complimented him, her voice sincere. "But... yeah. She probably did. You don\'t know what she did there, Ron. You don\'t know what she had to do. And... sometimes... sometimes when you\'re caught with no way out, you... you do things you wouldn\'t under other circumstances." Hermione remembered all too well what it had been like to be tortured by Bellatrix while the Malfoys watched. "I know you didn\'t mean it that way, but... she can\'t possibly be the most mentally stable witch after what she\'s been through. More than that, you implied that she was fucked in the head if she\'d taken even a moments pleasure in anything that happened to her there. But sometimes, even pleasure can be forced, Ron," she said, her voice drifting off into a place she\'d rather not go. "Ergo, had she ever taken pleasure in what was done to her, then she was fucked in the head and, probably in her mind, deserved and wanted everything she got. You... if you want to be a good Auror, you have to learn to speak girl, love," she told him softly.



Ron scrubbed his hand up and down his cheek. "How was I to know that pleasure could be forced. I thought that if you hated something being done to you everything about it would be painful. I didn\'t mean that she was fucked in the head. If you were her, would you want an owl from me?" He looked over at her hopefully, hoping she\'d say yes, hoping she\'d say that she would want him to come see her.



Hermione thought about that a moment. "Probably. Like you said, she doesn\'t really have any friends. Why don\'t you owl her and just ask how she\'s doing. Don\'t invite her anywhere. But... start the communication."



"Here." Standing he hurried into his room and brought her his letter. "Let me know if this is ok."



He didn\'t even need to read what he\'d written having thought about every word and reread the letter multiple times since he\'d written it. Dear Raven, he imagined in his mind\'s eye. First let me begin again and say that I\'m sorry for what I said the other day. It was rude and thoughtless, but pretty much everything I say is thoughtless (though I try to keep the rudeness down). I\'d like to see you again, to hang out or something if you want. If you never want to see me again, I\'ll understand. I hope to hear from you soon either way. Yours, Ron "Is it too desperate?" he asked worriedly when Hermione was finished reading it.



"No, I don\'t think so," she said trying and failing to hide the smile in her voice. She\'d known Ron since they were children. He was well and truly gone, even if he hadn\'t admitted it to himself yet. It hadn\'t been too long ago that he\'d worried and fretted like this over her after all.



"I think it sounds very casual. And if you want to invite her out with me and Harry, that would be fine, too. Maybe for dinner when Harry gets back from his mission."



Ron beamed at her, but then remembered that she wasn\'t the one who was accepting the offer, it was Raven he was going to have to convince. "Let me send this off. Thanks Hermione," he said standing and giving her cheek a kiss.



He hurried off to post the owl and watched Pig leave for a long moment. The little bird was getting old, but he was still just as excitable now as he had been when Ron had first gotten him in his fifth year. Groaning softly to himself, he left the window to return to Hermione hoping she would want to do something to get his mind off Raven.



Hermione watched him with a smile on her face, everything would work out for him. Assuming Raven was the girl he seemed to think she was. Hermione wasn\'t dumb enough to say anything to him about it, but she was half-Malfoy. Even without the name.



"So, I was thinking about going into town and catching a movie. Would you like to come with me?" she asked, knowing he was still fascinated with Muggle films.



"I\'d love to! Can we see the one about the guys who blow things up and get all the girls?" he asked, perking right up. Raven, though still very much on his mind, became less of a worry. Hermione was the smartest witch he knew and more importantly, a girl. She knew how to call these things and he had the utmost confidence in her opinion. Raven would write him back....



"Of course, Ron," she said, grabbing a jumper and leading the way out of their flat towards the cinema. "Come on, let\'s get your mind off things."



After all, that\'s what friends were for.