Strength in What Remains Behind

Hermione

We went into Hogsmeade that weekend, which was fortunate because I wanted to shop for a new dressrobe for the Yule Ball. Harry had already seen me in the one I had now, and even though I could never allow myself to have him, I still wanted to dress for him. It must have been one of those feminine traits I was sure I would never develop, but snuck up on me unawares as I grew older. The boys had no interest, which was fine with me. I didn't want them there. I planned to broach the subject of Draco with Ginny. I had asked her to come along with me to Gladrags because I needed a friend's opinion, and she readily agreed. Presumably, it was because she wanted to look at them herself, as her second-hand robe was none too flattering. I know the twins had given her a bit of pocket money. She had turned down all the boys who had asked her, saying firmly that she would go stag, which I thought was odd at the time. I think I understood why now. As for my own date, I had nipped that problem in the bud by suggesting to Harry and Ron that we go together as friends, no dates involved. Harry had readily agreed, though Ron was somewhat reluctant. I knew it was because he wanted to ask me to go with him as his date, and I could never have accepted.

We spent time doing the usual things girls do when they shop for clothes together. We tried things on for each other and picked things out for each other, mostly for fun than for any real desire to purchase the items, as some of the robes we brought into the dressing room were much too bizarre to wear. We chatted, we giggled over how silly some of the designs were, we complimented. It was... pleasant. I had not indulged in the sole company of females often and I was surprised how fun it could be. I didn't realize there were parts of myself that were not expressed because I spent so much time with men.

When we got more serious about finding a robe to buy, I decided it was time to see if Ginny would be willing to talk. I had found a pretty green robe on the sale rack and she was eager to try it on. It was a bit light for winter, but if it looked good and the price was right, I should think that would hardly matter. While she was in the booth changing, I asked if she and Draco were seeing each other. She was silent for quite some time, and when she stepped out of the booth, she looked quite serious. Also ravishing, as the robe fit well and suited her color.

I quickly established that I was not bringing it up to disapprove, which seemed to help placate her. She admitted to me that they were a couple. She looked as if she wanted to say more, so I suggested we go out to Madam Puddifoot's for tea afterwards, as I knew the boys wouldn't be caught dead in there without a date, and the couples inside would be too distracted to eavesdrop. Once that was agreed to, we both cheered up a bit. Ginny had just enough for the robe, so she was fine. She took it upon herself to find something that suited me just as well, though I didn't think it was possible. I knew I was not bad-looking, especially when my hair was tamed, but certainly Ginny was prettier than I was. We eventually narrowed it down to one that was a soft, pale purple and one that was a pretty gold. I chose the golden one, as it seemed to go better with my complexion. Our purchases were wrapped up, and we went off to tea.

I had never been in Puddifoot's before, though I had heard about it from Harry. It was... much more annoying than I had expected, but it would do for what we had in mind. We sat down and ordered. Ginny waited for the tea to arrive before she confided in me that Draco had been trying to break up with her when we found her crying in the hall earlier in the week. Apparently Professor Snape had caught them together and had threatened to tell Lucius Malfoy about the relationship. Draco had tried to end things to protect her. She said everything was fine again now, though, as apparently the Professor had given them his tacit approval, so long as they not flaunt it in front of him. I found that surprising. I had not thought that the man was capable of such an act.

Ginny surprised me a second time by asking me how I felt about Ron. I couldn't answer right away, but I think my silence was answer enough for Ginny. She returned the friendly squeeze I had given her when I was comforting her over Draco, and asked if it was Harry. I was mortified. I told her I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it. She informed me that I was, but that it had to be one of the two of them, and if it wasn't Ron, it had to be Harry. I felt tears spring to my eyes as I told her that I would never hurt Ron by revealing my feelings for Harry, and she stood up and went over to my chair to give me a hug while I had a small cry. Afterwards, I thanked her. I didn't know how much I needed to tell someone until that day.

We eventually left the shop to meet the boys at the Three Broomsticks. It was a good end to a good day. I felt closer to Ginny than ever, and my talk with her gave me renewed strength in my campaign against my own feelings. I think the talk did her as much good as it did me, because she looked more lively than she had in weeks.

Over the weeks leading up to the ball, she talked to me of Draco quite often. I still didn't like the boy much, but I had a new insight into his character through her portrayal of him. I felt sorry for him, growing up as he had. He never had a chance to be anything more than what he was. Maybe Ginny would be his chance.

Also during those weeks, a rumor began circulating that Ginny and I were seeing each other. We had a good laugh over it.