Something To Write About

This is another one of our mad smutty chapters. Let us know what you think! Oh, and please go and read All That You Leave Behind! Yes, it has no smut as yet, but it will have, and we\'re rather proud of it! Q and A.



For DarklessVasion - cos you "get" what we\'re doing!



And to everyone who wants to know what we\'ve been taking - nothing illicit! Q just waits until she is VERY tired, and A waits until she is full of caffeine!





3 months later…



Severus was just sitting down to enjoy a glass of firewhiskey (and ignoring the glowers coming from Harry) when Albus\' head popped through the flames in the fire.



"Ah, Severus," he said, eyes twinkling like a bad cliche, "I am glad I\'ve caught you. I need your help. You see, two of the elves seem rather...distressed and I wonder if you could administer a calming draught?"



Snape inwardly glared, but nodded semi politely. Albus\' head vanished for a moment before he returned, looking rather frazzled. High pitched voices could be heard behind him.



"Not! No! Master Severus and Master Harry! Wrong! Wrong! Mistress Hermione too! Bad! Bad!"



Severus swallowed with difficulty.



Albus said, "Does any of that make sense to you, Severus?"



"Should it? It sounds like the ravings of mad creatures." The teacher was dismissive, although the churning in the pit of his stomach gave the lie to his outward calm.



Albus listened to them again. "They do seem insistent that something happened with you, Harry, and Hermione Granger."



Snape gave a short, forced laugh. "Does it seem remotely plausible that I would indulge in anything with that female?" he scoffed, mind working desperately. "Erm, I suppose some students must have dressed up and messed about. Yes, I imagine that would explain things." He crossed his fingers, hoping Albus would accept the solution.



The older man nodded. "Very well," he sounded dubious, but could do little else but accept Severus\' idea, "as they seem upset at the thought of you, I will procure some potion from another source. Good night."



Severus nodded, and once the head had gone, warded the fire.



"You lied to him," Harry said accusingly, wincing as he shifted his weight from one sore cheek to the other.



A raised eyebrow was his reply. "Should I have told him the truth then, Harry?"



***



Harry burst into his and Severus\' quarters, making a beeline for the bathroom to relieve his aching bladder when he was stopped dead in his tracks by the most disturbing sight he\'d ever laid eyes on. His bladder froze and his balls tried crawling back up to join it as a truly horrific apparition descended towards him. "What the fuck?" He muttered, not knowing if he should burst out in laughter or fright.



There stood Severus, or who he took to be Severus, although at this minute he looked more like a bigger, uglier version of Hermione Granger, complete with bushy fright wig and hairy legs sticking out from beneath a disturbingly short version of the school girls’ uniform.



"Harry!" it shrilled at him. "It\'s time you learned your lesson!"



"B-but...," Harry started babbling, backing away.



"No!" it said in a frightening imitation of Hermione\'s bossiest voice, "you MUST be more diligent in your studies! You haven\'t even read the book!"



Harry was horrified to see it brandish a copy of Torture: A History, and would have run for cover is he hadn\'t been rooted to the spot in fascinated terror.



"You need to learn your lesson, and I\'m here to make sure you never forget it! I\'m going to show you who\'s the boss, Harry, once and for all!"



With that he was grabbed by the frightening vision and thrust towards the table. "Strip, Harry!" it commanded.



Harry\'s balls definitely did an upward scurry upon hearing that. "Sev!" he protested, "this is too creepy!"



Severus smirked to himself. He\'d show him creepy. He reached out and pulled Harry flush against his chest, which was now large and bumpy with fake breasts stuffed into a shiny leather corset underneath his button down blouse. Smiling ferally at the horrified expression on Harry\'s face, he plunged in for an extremely wet and sloppy kiss.





"Harry!" Severus shrilled again, breaking the kiss, "I said, STRIP! And be quick about it! I haven\'t got all day you know! Ronald is waiting for me to let him out of his cage!" \'Hermione’ added eyebrows a waggling madly, "Plus I need to finish my thousand essays which are stupidly much too long!"



Harry whimpered at the horrible thought of Ron in a cage, and those god awful excruciatingly long essays Hermione used to write and vowed never to share his dreams with his boyfriend anymore. Harry also thought despairingly about her ridiculously long reviews, which were what had gotten him into this in the first place!



‘Hermione’ spoke, flicking through Torture: A History "It says here that there are at least twelve main effective torture methods to \'encourage\' co-operation."





Harry \'s eyes widened, and he quickly struggled out of his clothes.



He had barely begun unbuckling his belt when the bossy voice stopped him. "Oh no! Harry, that isn\'t how you undress! Really, just how incompetent are you, that undressing is beyond you?!"



Harry felt his face flame. He also began to feel a little angry, but the next words from Severus countered that feeling: "Really, I thought it was just Ronald who needed to be told when to shit and when to breathe in and out! Honestly, Harry, how have you coped on your own all this time?!"



Harry felt sick - Severus was just a little too good at being Hermione! He glared at the freakishly dressed man.



"Now, now," Severus bristled, "less of that temper, otherwise I\'ll have to get the book I use for Ronald: Dog Training for Beginners."



Harry swallowed nervously.



He listened as Severus explained (for a full twenty minutes, with diagrams and charts!) exactly how he was meant to undress himself. Thinking loudly about fucked up teachers, Harry followed the explicit instructions and stood stark bollock naked in front of the cross dressing professor.



"That was better, wasn\'t it?" Severus said, sounding horribly patronising. "Now, bend over that desk." He watched Harry move then snapped in annoyance, "NO! Not like that! Honestly, can\'t you do anything right?!"



Harry glowered, thinking dark, vengeful thoughts, but followed the orders. He was bent over one of the potions desks. His chest touched the pitted dark wood, and his balls and cock pressed uncomfortably against the ridge that ran around the edge of the table.



Closing his eyes to shut out the horrible sight of Severus dressed like Hermione, he allowed himself to be positioned as required. "legs precisely 60 degrees apart, hips and feet equi-distant. There!" Severus said as he finished manoeuvring Harry.



"Believe me, Harry," Severus smirked, "this will hurt me more than it will you!"



Somehow, Harry doubted it.



"And now," Severus said, picking up the book, "an important lesson." He placed the cold and heavy volume in the small of Harry\'s back. "Don\'t move," he was instructed.



There was a whistling noise, and a searing pain bit into Harry\'s ass.



"You fucker!" Harry shouted, writhing so that the book fell off.



"Deary me," Severus trilled, replacing the volume, "that language certainly needs correction."



Severus said, almost gently, "Now, Torture: A History says that the best way to whip someone is to hold the whip in your wand hand, with the wrist held at a thirty degree angle at shoulder height, then, bring it down in one swift motion, relaxing the wrist until just before the blow falls, then it should be jerked so as to ensure the maximum impact upon the flesh. Let\'s try shall we?"



Severus struck Harry once.



"Was that an effective whip?" Severus asked, sounding almost intrigued.



"You bastard!" Harry sobbed, "I\'m having your baby!"



"That is not answering the question!" ‘Hermione’ said bossily.



Harry whimpered. "Yes, it fucking hurt!" he gasped out.



A tut was his response. "Really! Is that any way to speak to a lady?"



Harry felt the book shift on his back, apparently ‘Hermione’ was turning the pages. "Ah! Oh, I\'ll have to try this!"



Harry felt sure that he wouldn\'t enjoy whatever it was. He heard muttering. The kind of muttering that the real Hermione did when she was trying to learn something important.



A duller pain throbbed against his ass. Spanked! He was being spanked!



"You arsehole!"



Again he received a tut. "No, Harry, this is your arsehole," ‘Hermione’ said and plunged a finger deep within the twitching passage. "See the difference?"



Harry panted. No matter that the bastard was tormenting him, no matter that he was dressed as Hermione fucking Granger, no matter that Harry had been humiliated, he still wanted the other to fuck him. HARD.



"Please!" he choked.



"Oh! See, now that wasn\'t so difficult, was it? Manners cost nothing." Severus\' mocking parody of Hermione\'s irritating lecturing style made Harry wince.



Severus/Hermione rained more sharp spanks down on Harry\'s abused bottom all the while cackling madly, "Please? Please what, Harry?"



The younger man groaned. He still had a finger buried in his ass, even whilst he was spanked with the other man\'s free hand. It hurt, but in a delightfully sinful way! "Fuck me!" he groaned, hips shifting a little, not quite enough to dislodge the book, but enough to make it lurch alarmingly.



"Naughty! Naughty!" Severus said gaily, making Harry wonder if Severus hadn\'t gone off the deep end. "Naughty boys get punished!" Harry barely had time to wince in expectation when a second finger was shoved into his pulsing channel.



Severus began lecturing Harry then on how to stretch a passage for anal sex. "Now, with the two fingers within the channel, a steady pumping motion should be undertaken." Severus suited the action to the word. "Once a smooth comfortable rhythm has been established, it is crucial to prepare the channel for the wider girth of a penis."



Harry moaned. "Oh God, Sev, please! It\'s prepared! It\'s prepared!"



Severus - still channelling Hermione - disagreed. "No, it can\'t be, not until all the stages in the book have been carried out."



"How - How many stages are there?" Harry gasped.



Severus bent over the text. "Ten stages," he said, reading.



Harry bit back a sob.



Harry was begging before the sixth stage was reached. "Come on!" he pleaded, "I\'m ready!"



Severus was adamant however, "Tut, tut, we must follow the book, Harry. Such useful tools are there for a reason!"



By the time the tenth stage was nearing completion, Harry was clawing at the desk, rocking his painfully hard dick against the hard edge, trying to get some kind of relief.



Abruptly, the fingers were pulled out of him. "Now, the book says you\'re prepared." Severus picked up the tome and placed it near Harry\'s head.



Harry turned bleary, sweat filled eyes to the hated text, and screamed as his ass was filled in one hard fast stroke by Severus\' mighty prick. His fingers clenched uselessly at the stained wood as his ass was thoroughly plundered by the frightening tool slamming into it. "Torture: A History?" It really does exist! he thought wonderingly as his ass was plundered mercilessly.



Severus grunted, no longer sounding like Hermione as he rammed his jerking length again and again into the hungry passage.



He came, sending thick streamers of pearly come into the twitching hole.



Harry threw his head back, balls clenching, but Hermione\'s voice stopped him. "No, Harry, not until I say."



"WHAT?!" Harry shrieked.



"Not until I say." Severus repeated, in his own voice.



Harry shuddered, and dropped his head onto the desk. "Severus," he whispered, "please..."



\'Hermione\' was back. "Now, wasn\'t that fun? Shall we try a little more spanking?"



Harry groaned.



***



An hour and a half later, Severus tugged the bushy, tangled wig off his head, grasped Harry’s dick with it and said evilly, “Now you can come!"



"I..I don\'t think I c-can anymore," Harry whimpered.



"I said, COME!" Severus thundered.



Harry screamed, back cracking in agony as he came copiously over the messy hair. He slumped down, chest heaving, not even noticing Severus stamping the maligned item with the fuckme boots he was wearing.



"Well, Harry, I hope you\'ve learned your lesson!"



"Please," Harry begged, wide eyed, "please pinch me and wake me up!!!"



"Silly boy," Severus snarked, "you are awake!"



"Oh God!" Harry whined, sliding to the floor.



Twitching.



Uncontrollably.



He got up hurriedly however, when they both heard a squeak and a door slam.



Harry and Severus looked at one another a moment, then both shrugged. "Please don\'t ever do that again." Harry whined pitifully.



"Who will you come for?" Severus asked, the black eyes glinting dangerously



"You!" Harry burst out eagerly, "only you, Sev! I promise!! Even in my dreams! Just...just don\'t..." he shuddered, unable to complete the sentence



"Good boy," Severus purred contentedly.



***



"Should I have told him the truth then, Harry?" Severus repeated, a little smugly.



"No! No...I suppose not." He rubbed his stinging bottom ruefully, and decided to go soak the ache away, vowing never to even think about Hermione Granger again!



"Up yours, bitch!" Severus thought smugly as he watched Harry limp painfully away.