The Price of Love

Today is the day I leave the Ministry.

I’m just glad only my superiors know I am pregnant, it would cause me too much hassle of anyone else found out.


I am slowly starting to get used to the idea that I am going to become a mother, even though I have to do this without Lucius, I think it is best for everyone.

I still can’t get used to Draco’s smug smile every time I walk into the office, he questions me frequently on why I’m taking so long off, I tell him it’s none of his business, gods I would love to tell him just to wipe that smirk off his face.

I’m having your fathers baby, Draco that’s why I’m going to be off, I'm having YOUR little brother or sister.

I lock my desk using my wand; no way is he getting in there.

I arrive home and spend my night relaxing and planning my future.

A future without him.

I still sometimes can’t bring myself to say his name, it hurts me too much.

Even these months after our little incident in the ministry, my body still aches for his touch.

I find myself sometimes fantasising what life would be like now if he uttered them three little words I longed to hear, if he knew about our child, and he wanted me.

It’s too much for me to bear sometimes, and I chastitise myself into not thinking of him.

But it never works.

I live, breathe and sleep Lucius Malfoy.

Why?

Because I still love him.

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I sit at my table and watch as the world goes by as everyone gets on with their life, and I sit and mourn for a love I never had.

A small owl drops my post on to the table and speeds by out the window.

I am surprised to find a letter from Draco.

I am even more surprised at its contents.

Dear Granger,
I know you’re on maternity leave.
So who knocked you up, anyone I know?
It’s no big deal, you should have told me.

Malfoy

Its then my blood starts to boil.

How dare he send me a letter like this, he was the one person, who I definitely made sure didn’t know.

And then the one thing I had been dreading hits me.

What if he finds out?

I choose to ignore Draco’s letter, if he finds out, he finds out.

There’s nothing he can do, I want this child.

A feeling of awareness washes over me. I realise that this hasn’t been about me not wanting this baby, it’s been about him not wanting it. And I do want it, no matter who its father is.

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I start to think maybe Draco hasn’t told him. I hope he hasn’t.

My post is delivered as usual; I open it with baited breath, nothing new.

The front page of the prophet catches my eye.

I feel my heart sink as I read the headline.

‘MALFOY ENGAGED TO SOCIALITE’

I pray to the gods its Draco, but in my heart of hearts I know it’s him.

And it is.

My tears fall as I read the story, and the pain in my heart intensifies as I see his arrogant face on the front
page, smirking up at me.

I realise that it really is over.

Over.

Gone.

Finished.

I walk to my bedroom and sink into my bedroom never to come out again.

I wish.

The hours turn into days, I walk through life unaware of myself, unaware of anything.

It’s no use moping, I tell myself, wishing for something I can never have.


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I walk through my flat and push my bedroom door open and lay my new clothes on my bed.

The sound of apparition startles me; I edge toward my bedroom door, my wand ready.

I pull back the door, my wand thrust out in front of me.

And I freeze in shock.

There he stands watching me as if it was only yesterday I walked from his room, with him calling after me.

Those arctic eyes fix upon me and chill me to the bone.

One word leaves my mouth; I grasp my mouth in shock.

“Lucius!”

He walks towards me his eyes fixed on my now blooming body.

“Draco informs me you are pregnant,”

I nod my head too frightened to look him in the eye, too ashamed to let him see that I am nearly on the verge of tears.

I feel the familiar touch that I have longed for, as he slips his finger underneath my chin and forces me to look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Its then my heart starts to pound and I can't stop the tears.

“Oh Lucius please just go!” I plead.

“I want to know why Hermione.” he says looking more human than I have ever seen him.

I cannot speak.

“Is this why you left? Why you have ignored me for months?”

I shake my head.

“I found out later about the baby.” I say through tears.

He sits me down on the sofa and crashes down next to me.

“Why did you leave?”

“Why are you insistent on knowing?” I spat.

“Because I want to know why you walked out of my life Hermione!”

“I can’t.... Lucius please don’t make me do this!”

“I would never make you do anything you didn’t want.”

I look at him through watery eyes.

He is looking at me like I was all that mattered to him, his eyes consume me.

“Why are you even here Lucius, if you’re getting married?”

“Draco brought it up in conversation at dinner this evening, he said you where on maternity leave, I am not arrogant enough to fool myself into thinking this is not mine.”

He places his hand on my stomach.

“It’s a Half-Blood Lucius; it’s not your kind.”

“It’s my child Hermione.”

“Don’t you realise something, I’ve desecrated your line with my Half-Blood child Lucius!” I hissed.

“It is still my child!”

“No Lucius you’ll find it’s my child, I’m the one who’s carried it, and I’m the one who’s loved it!”

“You never gave me the chance to love it!” he shouts and I find myself flinching.

“You didn’t give stuff about me, never mind a Half-Blood child, come on Lucius be truthful here!”

“You never gave me the chance to show you I cared.”

Why can’t I stop these damn tears!

He pulls me into his arms and I struggle to get away, but he’s too strong.

He holds me as I cry, I feel as if I will never stop.

“Why did you leave Hermione?” he whispers as I bury my head in his chest breathing him in.

“Because I loved you and you felt nothing for me.” I murmur.

I hear him sigh but yet he pulls me closer.

“I didn’t know what to do,” I say truthfully.

“You should have stayed,”

“I couldn’t put myself through it and seeing you at the ministry brought it all back,”

“Did you know you were pregnant then?”

I nod slowly.

“You should have told me Hermione.”

“I couldn’t,”

“Your silly Gryffindor pride tell you not to?”

“Don’t Lucius, please.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t promise me the world and not deliver, don’t sit there and tell me it was more than just sex to you.”

“It was always more than sex, it meant something!”

“Meant?”

“Are you willing to let me in Hermione, willing to let me love you?”

“I was always willing Lucius, but are you willing? Willing to love a Mudblood?”

“Muggleborn, Hermione, but you’re my Muggleborn.”

I smile for the first time in months when he says this, although my pride screams at me to berate him for his words.

He presses his lips to mine.

And I fall head over heels in love with him again.

But then I realise he has a fiancée and this is wrong.

I pull away and he looks at me, confusion flooding his eyes.

“What is it?”

I move away from him.

“You have a fiancée Lucius,”

He bows his head in defeat.

“I did what I had to do to try and get over you.”

I stare at him in disbelief.

“Get over me?”

He stands to his feet.

“Yes get over you, don’t you understand what you do to me! Gods woman, you drive me mad, every time I look at you I just want to taste every inch of you, the fact that you carry my child makes me desire you even more!”

I can help the smile that creeps on to my lips.

“But what about her Lucius, you and her have a life together, we could never go back to what we were.”

“I don’t want us to go back to what we were Hermione.”

“I don’t understand, and for one of the first times in my life I truly don’t!”

He laughs softly.

“You silly little witch, I want you Hermione Granger, all of you and nothing less!”

He kisses me.

And my tears finally stop.