I'll Be Home For Christmas

Happy 2008 to Everyone!

Again, many thanks to all my reviewers. It only takes a minute or two to review, and is greatly appreciated! This chapter, for some reason, took an agonisingly long time to write, and even longer to post, so I hope you enjoy. I'm sure some will be frustrated at where I've left off, but don't despair, the next chapter is soon to follow. Meantime, have a look at this one, and like it, hate it, let me know! Now, on to....


The Morning After




"I...erm...I'm pregnant"

Severus came awake with a jolt and a gasp, his eyes flying open and his heart pounding. He lay there a moment getting his bearings before groaning loudly and sitting up. His knees both let off sharp cracking sounds as he made to get out of bed, and he sank back onto the edge with a scowl and another groan, and put his face in his hands.

Severus rarely allowed himself to dwell on his age, but his creaky knees and Harry's unexpected announcement wore down that resolve this morning.

Oh Lily he thought with a heavy sigh, Lily, I was supposed to give you children, not grandchildren!

He groaned again as his stomach began to churn, and quickly shoved that thought aside. He dreaded facing today, they were supposed to put in an appearance at the Burrow for dinner later, and considered downing an enormous dose of Dreamless Sleep Potion and simply sleeping his holiday away. But he knew Harry wouldn't stand for that. No, he will want to talk, and although Severus couldn't really fault him for that after his own reaction last night, it didn't make the prospect seem any more welcome now in the bleak face of morning.

He rubbed his hands over his face, resigning himself to the inevitable, and with another scowl and a muttered, "Silence!" at his noisy knees, he got up and made his way into the bathroom.

Catching sight of himself in the mirror, with his sleep-creased face, large nose, and bed-wild hair, Severus did something he hadn't done in a very long time.

Dear God in heaven, in the name of all that is holy, please let this child look like Harry! he prayed fervently.

The child. You are going to have a child. Be a father.

Severus sighed and began cleaning his teeth before stepping into the shower, wondering if he kept telling himself that, would it sink in sometime soon? Because at this moment, it was unimaginable.

He finished his shower, dried himself, and got dressed, all the while trying not to hyperventilate and panic again. Feeling rather more as if he were hungover than as if he'd just had a full night's sleep he shakily stood in the bedroom doorway and braced himself to face Harry.

***********

Harry, to his own annoyance, had woken up this morning finding himself feeling a bit sorry for Severus, and then had become annoyed at his own annoyance. He'd come back to feeling sorry for Severus, sans annoyance, and had decided to clear his mind of this chaotic jumble of emotions by busying himself making breakfast for the man. Hearing the shower finally start up in the bathroom, he got up from his seat at their kitchen table.

Blimey! he thought to himself in amusement as he set about getting breakfast, Poppy wasn't joking when she told him that, as a symptom of his pregnancy, he may find himself a tad more emotional than usual.

She'd given him a brief overview of what he could expect, most of which he hadn't heard, being too engrossed in shock, but that part he did remember. He remembered too her saying that he may or may not experience morning sickness, which he hadn't so far, or may find himself dizzy or lightheaded, which he had, and was what had made him go see her in the first place. Well, that and Kingsley Shacklebolt's direct order. It didn't do for an Auror to be taken with unexpected bouts of dizzyness, especially when the boss noticed, and Kingsley had forbidden him going on anymore missions until he'd found out what was wrong.


He had gone to Poppy at Hogwarts where he felt safe. Where there weren't any gossiping medi-witches or wizards lurking about like at St. Mungos, and where he knew Rita Skeeter dare not prowl. Poppy had frowned at seeing him again, ushered him to a bed, and then ran all sorts of test spells on his head after he told her about his dizzyness. When she couldn't find anything wrong with his head, a comment he knew Severus would have snorted at, she'd moved on to the rest of him, and was still unable to find anything wrong. It wasn't until he sat up, saying that Severus would heartily disagree with her, that the puzzled look had left her face. She'd made him lie down again, had waved her wand over him, saying a spell he'd never heard before, and he'd heard her say LOTS of spells over him over the years, then said softly, "Ah...there we are."

Never, not in a million years , would Harry have ever expected her to tell him what she had told him. For a split second he'd been positive he'd heard her wrong, he was a man after all, but then something in her face told him he had heard her correctly and that was when the shock set in. He'd come out of it several minutes later to find her pushing a potion on him, reassuring him it was safe for his baby. His baby. He'd laughed then, looking at her in wonder, then down at his own stomach, and his laughter started taking on a somewhat hysterical edge until he was crying helplessly. He remembered her shushing and soothing him back down to lying in the bed, and then no more until he'd woken up several hours later wondering if he'd dreamt it all.

**********

Severus made his way to the kitchen, and stopped at seeing Harry standing near the sink with a faraway look in his eye and a silly grin on his face. He looked, as much as the word made Severus want to vomit again, adorable, and if it hadn't been for the reason he looked so, Severus might have been moved to actually tell him so. As it was, the reason was terrifying enough and superceded any thoughts of endearment that may have flitted through Severus's overwrought mind, and so he settled on clearing his throat instead.

Harry's stupid grin immediately grew into a brilliant smile. One that Severus was quite fond of actually, although he'd rather die than say so, but which made him groan inwardly now.

That's it, you infernal brat, make it as difficult as you possibly can why don't you?

As if he'd heard his very thought, Harry's smile faltered a bit, and Severus chastised himself silently but viciously for being unfair. This wasn't Harry's fault he reminded himself, if it was anyone's it was his. Feeling badly for his thoughts, and undoubtedly the look on his face, Severus hitched up a half-hearted smile and said as calmly as his panic would allow, "Good morning."

"'Morning," Harry replied cheerily enough, "I made breakfast."

"Thank you," Severus said and sat down stiffly. It was coming, he could feel it.

Harry set their breakfasts down, along with tea, but Severus couldn't eat. He felt as if he were waiting for a bomb to drop. Harry began to eat his own breakfast unconcernedly, and after a few minutes, Severus began to relax an infinitesimal bit. He ventured a sip of his tea, and Harry, although he smiled at him, continued to shovel his breakfast in happy silence.

He should have known better, he really should have. The damned brat did it to him every time! Just as Severus had gotten brave enough to chance a bite of his eggs, Harry put his fork down.

He knew he'd felt it coming!


And here it was.


"Sev....I think we need to talk."


With extraordinary effort, Severus forced his mouthful of egg down his dry throat, put his fork down and choked out, "Of course you do," then amended it to, "We do," seeing Harry's frown.

"Look," Harry began, "I know you're surprised, but....aren't you even a little bit happy? Not even a tiny bit? Maybe?"

"Harry," Severus sighed, "....must we talk about this..."

"Yes, we must talk about this now," Harry interjected, "and you're not going to slither out of it. I'm pregnant. By you. I didn't even know that could happen, but you obviously did. You're surprised I'm pregnant, but you're not surprised its possible. That wizards can get pregnant. I was muggle raised, in case you forgot, so why didn't you tell me? You had to have known I wouldn't know."

Severus cleared his throat and said, "I knew it was possible."

Harry frowned and asked, "You didn't think it would happen to us?"

"Quite frankly,...no," Severus admitted, feeling forty kinds of fool for not thinking period, but he was reluctant to admit that particular lapse into stupidity to Harry.

Harry sat there a moment, his green eyes narrowing. He didn't want to ask this, didn't even want to think it, and knew he'd be utterly devasted if it were true, but he couldn't help himself. He had to know.

"Severus," he asked, hating himself for it, "are you...were you...giving me some kind of...contraceptive potion...without telling me? Is that why I only got pregnant after all this time? You forgot a dose?"

Severus snapped his head up at that, and Harry could see the hurt in his eyes.

"How dare you..." Severus said woundedly, "...after all this time, Harry...you think I would..."

"No! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Sev, truly I am...I didn't want to ask that, but..." Harry blurted out, nearly sobbing with relief, "..I just don't understand! You knew it could happen and now that it has you're obviously not happy about it, yet you never said anything?! At all?! Not about getting pregnant, or not getting pregnant?! That's not like you, Sev, not at all. I know you, you're completely anal about the details. About everything! You remember every single little mistake I've...ever...made..." he trailed off, looking at his lover in surprise.


The man was looking distinctly uncomfortable.


Turning a bit pink even.


"Oh wow," Harry breathed.


Severus scowled at him. Harry began to smile smugly.


Severus cocked an eyebrow and tried glaring. Harry began to snicker.


"You made a mistake," Harry chuckled with evil glee, "Severus Snape made a mistake!

"Enough," Severus growled, but Harry was now fairly howling with laughter.

"Alright!," Severus snapped. "Yes, yes! I made a mistake. I forgot! I knew it was possible and I didn't give it a second thought! I was stupid! I admit it! Are you quite happy?"

"I am now!" Harry snorted, "this is priceless!"

"I am simply thrilled to see my idiocy provides you with such amusement," Severus retorted acidly.

"Aw, c'mon, Sev," Harry smiled, reaching across the table to take his hand, "I'm only having a bit of fun on you. Just a laugh."

"I fail to see the humour of the situation," Severus said aggrievedly, snatching his hand away, "the consequence of my stupidity is no laughing matter."

"Well, it isn't the end of the world, either," Harry said reasonably, reaching out to grab hold of his lover's hand again.

"Isn't it?," Severus asked quietly, and the expression in his eyes finally wiped the smile from Harry's face.

Harry looked into the bottomless black eyes of the man he loved so much, and for the first time ever saw uncertainty. Trepidation. Something was definitely wrong, and it was more than just being surprised by the pregnancy.

"Severus," Harry asked gently, squeezing his lover's hand, "...do you not want our baby?"