All That You Leave Behind

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Chapter 5









After Ginny's sudden appearance into the Hogwarts infirmary, the anti-apparition wards had been restored, resulting in Harry and Hermione having to floo to the Hogs Head pub in Hogsmeade before being able to apparate to wherever Hermione was keeping Snape. Hermione had protested the entire way, but knowing Harry was determined and not wanting to anger him further, she'd grasped his arm and took him along with her as they apparated out of Hogsmeade. They were now standing in a grim looking little street Harry had no idea where.



"Where are we?" he asked, momentarily forgetting his anger. He looked at the rows of grimy little houses, frowning at one at the end that looked as if it had exploded from the inside.



Hermione pulled a piece of parchment from the pocket of her jeans and held it out to Harry.



"What's this?" he asked, taking it from her.



"He's not going to like this," Hermione sighed. "Read it and memorise it, Harry"



Harry looked at the piece of paper, a feeling of deja vu spreading through him. In Hermione's handwriting he read:



Number 21, Spinner's End, Manchester



He looked back at her, but before he could speak, she asked, "Have you memorised it?" and not waiting for an answer snatched the piece of parchment back, igniting it with the tip of her wand.



Harry looked back at the row of houses and noticed that the bombed out one at the end now looked whole again, although still as small and grimy as the others along the row.



"Where is this?" he asked, thoroughly confused now. Hermione only turned and started off towards the restored house on the end. Harry followed, nearly running into her as she stopped on the doorstep and turned towards him.



"This is where he is," she whispered, glancing up and down the street. "He didn't want me to bring him to Hogwarts or to St. Mungo's. He wanted to come here. I think this is his house. He made me promise not to tell anyone that he was alive, or where he was, so he isn't going to be happy about this, Harry."



"Too bad," Harry shrugged, "I can't just not do anything now that I know he's alive, Hermione. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. He spent his whole life in love with my mum, and then the rest of it protecting her only son. Now it's my turn to repay that. He needs my help."



"Harry," she whispered, "I understand how you feel, but...he thought he was dying. He wasn't very happy with me for saving him..."



"Come on, Hermione, " Harry scoffed, "you aren't telling me he isn't glad to be alive? Voldemort's gone. He's free now. He won't have to risk his life anymore, and he won't have to look after me. It's my turn to look after him now."



"Harry," Hermione hissed, grabbing hold of his arm, "I know how you feel, but...this isn't about you. It's about him, Harry, and he didn't want anyone to know. And it's..it's not as if he can just...just go about having a normal life now! Don't you understand? Even if Voldemort is gone, even if we know he was always on the side of the Light, Harry, he still killed Dumbledore! Once the Aurors know he's alive, they'll be coming for him! To take him to Azkaban!"



"Hermione," Harry said patiently, as if he were talking to a child, "didn't you hear what I said in Dumbledore's office? Dumbledore and Snape had an agreement, he was acting on Dumbldore's orders."



"But they don't know that, do they?" she pointed out, "and..."



"But they will," Harry insisted stubbornly, "I'll see to it. He's the real hero, Hermione, not me, and I'm going to tell everyone and clear his name. And if it's the last thing I do, I'll get Rita Skeeter too. Once and for all."



"Harry, listen to me!" Hermione hissed furiously, grabbing hold of his shoulders and making him look at her. "You said it youself! You and he were both pawns in someone elses game, and all along, ever since I've known you, you've said you were tired of everyone else deciding your life for you, deciding what's best for you, and never asking what you wanted! And now you're trying to do the same thing to him!"



"But..." Harry began to protest.



"No, Harry," Hermione said flatly, "I understand how you feel, and I understand that you need to apologise to him, and I understand you need to thank him. Okay. But he's been through so much, Harry, he's weak and ill, and all he wants right now is to rest and recuperate. Don't you think he deserves that much?"



"Yeah...of course," Harry said.



"Right," she nodded, cutting him off again, "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but ...I knew you'd be angry after seeing the paper, and...well, don't think that I enjoyed seeing you lying there in pain and grief, that's why I finally did tell you. But Harry, I promise, if you go in there and start upsetting him, I swear I'll obliviate you! I mean it!"



Looking into her fierce brown gaze, he had no doubt that she would. Slowly he nodded his head, acknowledging his understanding of it.



"Okay," she sighed, and turned and knocked on the grimy little door. After a few moments, it slowly creaked opened, and Harry expected to see the familiar scowl of his former Professor. He had to adjust his gaze downward several feet, and gasped in shock when he had.



Harry stared in amazement at the figure in front of him. How was this possible? His mind couldn't begin to assimilate what it was seeing.



"What? How?" he gibbered.



The figure spoke. "Master Harry?"



Hermione spoke up suddenly saying, "I called him here. I didn't think you'd mind, Harry"



"Mind?" Harry repeated weakly, not sure whether to laugh or sob. His heart was beating fit to break free of his chest, and he was staring at KREACHER for Merlin's sake! In that moment, Harry realised he wasn't ready to see Snape yet. He needed a bit more time to steady himself. "Erm...no...no I don't mind at all."



Kreacher stepped back and Hermione pulled Harry inside with her. He stood looking at a dingy little sitting room. Bookshelves lined every wall, crammed full of ancient looking leather covered books, and the furniture looked old and threadbare. Harry suddenly had no doubt this was Snape's home. He had no trouble at all picturing the black clad former Potions Master sitting here brooding over all those grim looking books.



"Kreacher has been helping me look after Professor Snape," Hermione spoke up. "It took a long time to get the wounds to begin healing. Like with Mr. Weasley, when that filthy snake bit him in the Ministry of Magic."



"You didn't try stitching him, did you?" Harry joked, trying to relieve his nerves a bit.



"Of course not," Hermione replied humourlessly, "That wouldn't have worked. Those are magical bites, Muggle remedies won't work on them, just as they didn't on Mr. Weasley. I had all those books I took with us when we were looking for the Horcruxes, and I got some help from Madam Pomfrey..."



"What?!" Harry yelped sharply, "Madam Pomfrey knows? You could tell her but not me?!"



"Harry," Hermione sighed loudly, "I'm not a Medi-witch, am I? I had to ask someone, and Professor Snape trusts her. She told me which potions to use, and he told me how to brew them. Kreacher helped get supplies, and helped me with the brewing. He stays with the Professor when I'm not here, makes sure he takes the potions on time and changes his bandages. Obviously I can't be here all the time. Ron would wonder where I am." She flushed pink as she realised what she'd said.



"So you haven't told him," Harry stated, surprised.



"No," she said, shaking her head, "he's...well, he doesn't want to hear about Professor Snape right now."



"Yeah," Harry said bitterly, "he made that clear."



"What do you expect, Harry?" Hermione sighed, "he's lost his brother, had another one turned part wolf...this war changed everything for everyone, Harry. Not just you."



He should have expected that, Harry thought. Of course she'd take Ron's side, her was her boyfriend now. He bit back on saying so and and asked instead, "So...Snape, where is he?"



"He's upstairs," she replied, "in bed, resting. He's still very weak. He wakes occaisionally, but only for tiny amounts of time. Mostly sleeps, which is good. He needs to regain his strength. We're still giving him Blood Replenishing Potion, among all the others. He lost much more blood than Mr. Weasley did. Nagini knew where to bite." She shuddered slightly at the memory of it.



"He will be alright, won't he?" Harry asked worriedly.



"Yes, but he's going to need looking after for some time," Hermione said, her face reflecting his worry. "He's still too weak to do much. We sit him up in bed to eat, but it's exhausting for him. He can only take small amounts at a time. Porridge, and soup, easy things like that. Kreacher has been a great help with that. He's a wonderful cook." She smiled briefly at the wrinkled old elf.



"Kreacher is happy to be of service," he wheezed, dipping his head.



"Thank you, Kreacher," Harry said, "it's lucky you're here."



"Kreacher would have been at Master Harry's side at Hogwarts, but the harridan in the infirmary would not allow him," Kreacher said aggrievedly. He brightened at little when he said,"Miss Granger was very kind and understanding to Kreacher, and told Kreacher that Master Harry would like him to help his Professor get well again."



"That's right, Kreacher," Harry said, supressing a smile, "and I appreciate that."



Kreacher nodded again said, "Kreacher is happy to see Master Harry is well again. Allow Kreacher to get Master Harry and Miss Granger some tea," and shuffled off towards one of the bookcases, revealing a hidden door presumably leading to the kitchen.



Harry sat down on a worn armchair and watched as Hermione sighed and took a seat on the sofa. Her face was still screwed up in a worried frown, and she seemed somewhat preoccupied, chewing the inside of her lip.



"What's wrong?" Harry asked.



"Nothing," she sighed again, looking away. After another heavy sigh she said forlornly, "I miss my parents."



Harry started again, guilt sweeping through him at his thoughtlessness, remembering she'd modified their memories and hid them in Australia. "They're still in Australia then?"



"Yeah," she said, "still not knowing they have a daughter...or even that I exist at all."



"But you can change all that back, right? Harry said, "you can go get them and lift the memory charm, right? Bring them home?"



"Yes, but I haven't had the time, have I?" she said rather crossly, "I've been a bit busy."



"I'm sorry, Hermione," Harry said earnestly, "I...I really appreciate all you've done for me. All the help you've given me since...well, since I met you, actually. If I hadn't met you and ...Ron...I...well, I don't know what would have happened to me. You guys have always been there for me." He sat there silently thinking about how, even though he was annoyed with Ron blaming Snape for everything, he still had missed him when he'd stopped visiting.



Kreacher brought the tea in and then excused himself to go check in on Snape. Harry and Hermione sat drinking their tea, lost in their own thoughts, Harry glad to put off seeing Snape just a bit longer, until he got his head straight and a grip on his feelings. Finally, however, he could put it off no longer. Didn't want to. His conscience was prickling at him to go and try to make things right with the man to whom he owed so much. He also felt a need to try and do something for Hermione, her earlier words about her parents still making him feel guilty.



"You know, Hermione," he said, "I'm well now, I don't need to stay in the infirmary any longer. Can't stand to, actually. I'll stay here and look after Snape. You need to go get your parents. Bring them home and introduce them to your boyfriend."



She looked up, the frown still on her face, and he felt some annoyance at not seeing the smile he expected. "I won't upset him," he said irritably, "I just need to do this, Hermione, it's the least I can do. I just need to talk to him, tell him that I was wrong about him. Apologise for not believing in him, and thank him for everything he's done for me. I need to do this, and you need to go get your parents. You can't leave them in Australia forever, not knowing about you. And you need them. You've done your part, as has Ron, and I appreciate it all. But now that you two are finally together, you need to be together, just the two of you."



"What about you and Ginny?", she countered, "don't you want to spend time with her? You are back together, aren't you? You aren't going to walk away from her again?"



"Of course not," he said a bit more belligerently than he intended, "she's the only...only girl for me." He couldn't help smiling at knowing the truth of that.



"Well I'm glad to hear you've finally realised what's been perfectly obvious all along," Hermione said archly, "about time too."



"Well you're one to talk, aren't you?" Harry laughed, "speaking of the perfectly obvious."



"I always knew," she sniffed, "it's you men that have trouble seeing what's right in front of your faces."



Kreacher appeared out of another hidden door, announced, "Kreacher has given Master Snape his latest dose of potions. Master Snape is awake, but still very weak and tired. Kreacher has also changed Master Snape's bandages, and made certain he is comfortable. Master Snape wished to know if Miss Granger had returned yet. Kreacher informed him that she had, but did not mention that his Master Harry was with her. Kreacher will let Miss Granger tell Master Snape herself," and held open the doorway, gesturing for them to follow.



Kreacher led the way to Snape's room, Harry and Hermione following, both nervous. Harry stopped in front of the door to Snape's room, taking a deep breath to calm himself before nodding to Kreacher, and then following him inside.



Harry gasped softly upon seeing the figure in the bed. There was a white streak at the front of the man's hair, and a collar of white bandaging swathed about his neck. To Harry, who had never seen the man in anything other than his customary head to toe black, the white of the bandages and his hair was shocking and repulsive and made him feel afraid. To imagine Snape without his usual black was like imagining a Weasley without red hair, or a Malfoy without his sneer – impossible and wrong.



This man had always been a constant in Harry's life -he had always seemed so invulnerable; a solid, intimidating presence, that to see him lacking such a crucial part of himself; so diminished, so weak, so vulnerable... it shook the very core of Harry's world. To see Snape like this was truly frightening: the man wore his black robes like an armour, as if they would protect him from a world that neither understood nor cared for him, and now that protection was gone.



Unbidden, the memory of that terrible snake came into Harry’s mind, the image of the man lying there with his life gushing out of him, the desperate look in his eyes when he'd pulled Harry forward. Tears stung Harry's eyes, and he silently thanked Hermione for what she'd done. He could never begin to repay this man for all that he'd done for him, all that he'd given up to keep him safe, but he could make sure that the life he led from here on out would be a better one than the one he'd lost. He swore to himself he would do whatever it took to ensure that.



He swallowed his tears along with his fear, and took a step forward into the room, wondering if the man would have lasting damage from the vicious bite to his neck. He would have given anything in that moment to have the his professor sit up and growl at him in that voice Harry had grown to both hate and respect.



"G-Granger..." Severus Snape croaked disgustedly.



Hermione squeaked, flushed, and made a hasty retreat with Kreacher, leaving Harry and Snape staring silently at one another.



Snape broke the silence, the silken voice harsh and broken.



"..in-insufferable...girl..."