Matched

CHAPTER SIX: Coming Down





Hermione rose early the next morning, her mind still playing the previous night’s events over and over, causing her to break into the occasional fit of giggles. She dressed in a pair of high waisted, wide-leg black trousers, a white shirt and a pair of low heeled shoes. She twisted the thick length of her hair into a bun and secured it to the back of her head with several pins.



She tidied up her room and opened the door to head down to breakfast, and immediately tripped and fell. Luckily for her she didn’t hit the floor, instead she fell onto her husband who was sprawled on the hallway floor.



“Lucius?” Hermione rose to her knees beside him and tapped his cheek lightly. “Lucius, wake up!” He stirred, slowly opening his red and bloodshot eyes to look at her. “Why are you sleeping in the hall?” She asked.



Lucius sat up and looked around for a moment, confused and still a bit high.

“Oh, I came to apologize….and I fell asleep.” He said sheepishly.



“What did you want to apologize for?” She asked, unable to stop herself from pushing his tangled hair from his face.



“Sev and I…we shouldn’t have done that…we uh….well, we were just feeling a bit….old.” He said, wincing slightly as the flimsy excuse for his behavior.



“Ah, so you decided to resort to your teenage selves and get stoned.”



“Something like that.” Hermione got to her feet and helped him up, laughing softly when he slapped his hand into the wall and stumbled. “Good gods, the room won’t stop spinning.”



“Yeah, that’s what you get Jay….where’s Silent Bob anyhow?”



“Who?” He looked at her in confusion as he clasped his wildly swimming head.



“Jay and Silent Bob….muggle movie characters, never mind.” She laughed as she helped him into his room. “Just go to bed Lucius, sleep it off.” He flopped onto the bed and groaned as he rolled onto his stomach.



“’kay.” He was asleep as soon as the mumbled reply was past his lips. Hermione just shook her head as she exited his room and made her way to the stairs.





“And there he is.” She said aloud, her lips pursing as she stared at her former potions professor. He was sitting on the steps, his body stretched out and his head resting on the landing. His silly knit cap still pulled low over his ears and brushing his eyebrows, the green and grey scarf tied around his neck.



“Severus.” She called his name as she tapped her foot on the wood floor by his head. He opened his eyes and stared at her foot a moment before sitting up and meeting her gaze.



“Good morning.” He frowned as he looked at his ‘bed’. “Somehow I don’t remember things being this bad the next day.”



“Yes well, it could be a number of things.” She said as she reached down to help him to his feet. “When your young, you recover more quickly, when you are in your forties, it takes longer. Or it could be the fact that you and Lucius were smoking pot older than I am.” She stepped back once she was certain he wasn’t going to tumble down the stairs.



“Don’t think we will be trying that again any time soon.” He said as he pulled the cap off of his head and looked at it strangely. Hermione started laughing at his hair as it stood straight up from his head.



“Probably a good idea. Why don’t you go to your room and sleep it off, Lucius is already in his bed.”



“Yeah….I think that sounds good.” He mumbled as he took off down the hall towards his room.





THE RETELLING………..





“So, how’s life as a Malfoy?” Harry asked, propping his feet on the coffee table and looking around the media room in appreciation.



“It’s good, he’s actually quite sweet if you can believe that.” She said as she set another tray of brownies on the table.



“Gotten over the fact that he tried to kill you yet?” Ron asked as he grabbed another couple of brownies.



“Not sure I ever will, but it could be worse I suppose.” She said as she climbed onto a loveseat with Ginny.



“So…are the rumors true?” Ginny asked, a naughty smile on her pretty face.



“What rumors?” Harry asked.



“Yeah, what rumors?” Ron asked around a mouth full of chocolate.



“Oh come on, you haven’t heard the stories?” Ginny looked at them incredulously. “Lusty Lucius? Luscious Malfoy? Long Licking Lucius?”



“That’s bloody disgusting!” Ron said, his face contorting,



“Wait a minute, how do you know about those stories?” Harry asked his wife.



“Every witch past puberty has heard the tales of Loverboy Lucius.” She said, rolling her eyes as she turned her attention back to Hermione.



“I wouldn’t know, we haven’t slept together yet.” She said, laughing at the long list of nicknames for her husband.



“Why not?” Ginny asked.



“We aren’t in a hurry, I guess we’re just taking our time, I don’t know we haven’t discussed it.” Hermione said, sipping her tea.



“What do you do around here anyhow, I heard Umbridge fired you for insubordination.” Harry said, smiling.



“Yeah, she did, and made it impossible for me to work anywhere else in the ministry. She sort of wigged out when she found out I approved a grant for a werewolf researcher trying to find a more effective wolfsbane potion.”



“So you are now a woman of leisure, eh?” Ron said as he swiped the last two brownies from the plate.



“When I’m not tripping over naked death eaters and helping stoned wizards to their beds.” She said as she rolled her eyes.



“What?” Ginny asked as she turned on the cushion to stare at Hermione. “Ok, there is a story there.”



“Last night was the strangest night of my life to date, and we all know that that is really saying something.”



“Tell us!” Ginny squealed, she loved nothing more than gossip.



“Well, to start my evening of adventure I walked in on Snape skinny dipping in our pool.”



“What?” Harry dropped his feet from the table and Ron spit his brownie into his napkin.



“You saw Snape naked?” He asked, making a face as though he were about to become ill.



“Oh yes, and believe me, if I had known what he was hiding under those robes, I’d have been in detention all the time!”



“Ooooo….was it big?” Ginny asked, her eyes wide.



“Hey!” Harry said indignantly.



“That’s just wrong.” Ron piped in.



“Let’s just say the man is equipped. Anyhow, after dinner the two of them vanish upstairs for a couple of hours, then I hear them leave. So I just sit in here and watch some television. They come back an hour or so later and go right back upstairs.” Hermione smiled at her friends as they all sat on the edges of their seat. No doubt believing that Lucius and Severus had been up to some dark, death eater mischief.



“And?” Ron was waving his hand at her to speed up the telling.



“Well, suddenly the house is shaking with the sounds of Aerosmith…..”



“What’s an Aerosmith?” Ginny asked.



“Muggle band love, music.” Harry explained.



“Lucius hates muggles, why would he listen to their music?” Ron asked.



“Severus is a half-blood, he introduced it I’m sure.” Hermione said. “Anyhow, I go upstairs and they are higher than you can imagine. Severus found some pot they had hidden during Lucius’s last year in school, and they decided to smoke it last night.”



“No way!” Ron was laughing as he tried to imagine the two top death eaters stoned off their asses.



“Yes, Severus was wrapped in his Slytherin scarf with a watch cap on, pulled all the way down over his ears and almost covering his eyes. And Lucius had his own scarf tied around his head like some sort of warrior.”



“So where did they go when they left?” Ginny asked.



“London, Severus wanted Muggle snacks, so they apparated to an all night market and came back with crisps, sweets, and Twinkies.”



“Wow, I never would have guessed that Snape and Malfoy were stoners back in the day.” Harry said.



“It was the seventies…..I think everyone was a stoner then.”



Hermione looked up when Severus and Lucius both appeared in the doorway. They looked like hell and were shoving one another as they fought over who would enter first. Lucius managed to squeeze his way in and went to the love seat.



“Move.” He tugged Hermione off of the cushion and fell into her spot, pulling her down onto his lap. Severus flopped onto the sofa between Harry and Ron.



“Who ate all the brownies?” Severus asked as he stared longingly at the plate of crumbs.



“Oh no, you two didn’t get the quill box out again did you?” Hermione asked as she shifted on Lucius’s lap. Oddly, this was the most intimate she had been with her new husband.



“No, Sev had a pepper-up potion. We feel better and there are no house elves….you didn’t free my house-elves did you?” Lucius asked.



“No, but I did give them the day off.” She said. One of her first tasks as Lady of the manor was to lighten the load for the house elves.



“But we’re hungry.” Severus whined from the sofa. Glaring at Ron and Harry who were looking at him strangely. “What?” He snapped.



“Nothing, sir.” Ron said, his voice cracking slightly.



“Ugh Weasley, grow a pair will you, I’m not your bloody teacher anymore.”



“What, you finished off all your muggle snacks?” She asked.



“No, but Severus sat on the remaining Twinkies and I refuse to eat anything that has been that close to his ass. So here I am, feed me wife.” He smiled. She just couldn’t get use to this silly side of Lucius, and she could tell that her friends were all wondering if all of them had gone completely mental. “Why are you all staring at me?” he asked as he looked around the room.



“Are you alright?” Harry asked. “You seem odd.”



“Why? Because I’m not trying to kill you? I’m over that now.” He said waving his hand as though shooing away a fly. “Sorry bout that business….it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.”



Hermione couldn’t help it, she just let the laughter come. There was no hope for it and the truth was, he was just so damned cute about it she wanted to kiss him. Instead she accio’d a plate of sandwiches from the kitchen and held one up to his mouth.



“Here, eat. They don’t know you well enough to get your sick sense of humor.” She said, smiling when he bit into the sandwich.



“What about me? Are you gonna sit in my lap and feed me too?” Severus asked, smiling flirtatiously and waggling his brows at her.



“No, stop propositioning me Severus, I’m not biting.” She said with a laugh as she sent the plate across the room to him.



“Cant blame a man for trying.” He said as he bit into one of the sandwiches, smacking Ron’s hand when he reached for the one remaining on the plate.



“Well….this is just…..surreal.” Harry said as he looked around the room. His wife was sitting next to the wizard who tried to kill her, his best friend was now married to said wizard and sitting in his lap feeding him a turkey sandwich as he made rather dark and disturbing jokes about killing them all. He and his brother-in-law had the honor of flanking their dark and rather unpleasant former professor who was devouring a plate of sandwiches as he flirted with his best friend’s wife. And Harry thought his life couldn’t get any stranger after Voldemort.