A Very Good Occlumens

OK, I’ve got to wrap this up.

I really intended this fic to end with Chapter 1 (which was originally 5 chapters in and of itself back at fanfiction.net, back before I learned of fanfiction’s “no sex, please” rule). But I’ve enjoyed stringing it out a little more.

I think really Snape would only go for a woman his age, someone who could really challenge him on his level. So getting him together with Lily has been a relief from the coy striptease I’m writing with Hermione and Snape back at fanfiction.net.

But all good things must come to an end.

***


Snape leaped to his feet and began pulling on robes. “The Mark is burning,” he said tersely. “Call the Order.”

Lily jumped up herself, scrabbling on the floor for jeans and sweater. “Take me with you!”

Snape swung his cloak around his shoulders. “I’ll be telling them I’ve Imperiused you, Lily. I have a strong stomach, but not for what they’d do to you once they learned that. And—“ He pushed her firmly back onto the bed. “I don’t like to share.”

With that, he was gone, through the front door and into the air, where she could see him through a window gaining altitude.

And that was that.

Gloomily, Lily called the Order to inform them that Lord Voldemort had returned.

“The Killing Curse must not have rebounded on him as we supposed,” Dumbledore said, frowning about his half-moon spectacles.

Lily just tightened one corner of her mouth and shook her head, laying a hand on Harry’s wild, black hair as she did so. The hair reminded her so much of James.

After the brief meeting of the Order, she Apparated to Godric’s Hollow and visited James’s grave with Harry. She stood with her head low in front of the tombstone, feeling guilty and alone. Harry stood next to her. “Wha?" he said, pointing at the stone.

She felt her throat constrict. “It’s where your daddy—-where a friend is buried.”

The toddler looked at her with what seemed to be comprehension but a further question.

“That’s what we do when someone dies.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “Come on, Harry.” And, low, “Good-bye, James.”

And she Apparated back to Spinner’s End.

She had no Snape to cast a charm, but she shook off the bleakness that was threatening to overwhelm her. She had Harry to think of. And however much she loved James, she had a new husband to think of, too. One who in spite of the most irritating manner, condescending attitude, high-handedness, and plain pushiness had also shown her surprising kindness and—she reddened and her thoughts turned to their recent encounters. How to sum that up in words? Her body began to sum it up non-verbally, however.

She glanced at the ring on her left hand. Slytherin’s colors. She hadn’t thought of that before. On her right hand was the yellow polished gold hoop James had given her. No stone. They had wanted something plain and pure. Now she saw that embellishment could be pure, too.

So the first week passed. No Snape.

And the second week. Members of the Order began sending her owls asking her what was going on. She always sent back the same message:

Severus will tell us soon.

Lots of love,
Lily

Then the third week.

Now Lily was torn between mounting fury and corrosive worry. She found herself snapping at Harry from time to time as her mood turned fretful. And a few times, she dropped Harry off with Molly Weasley, though she knew Molly had a houseful of children herself.

Finally, exactly 22 days and one night after he had gone, Snape opened the front door. It was past midnight. Harry was long asleep. Lily, at that particular moment, was standing before a bookshelf going through Snape’s spellbooks, desperately searching for some charm, spell, or potion that would tell her what he was doing.

She dropped a book with a clatter as he strode inside and shut the door.

“What are you doing?” he said without preamble, glancing at his personal books stacked around her.

“Where have you been?” she said shrilly.

He glared. “You know where I’ve been.”

“The Order have been sending me owls for days, weeks, asking where’s Snape? Where’s Snape? And I, your wife, have been reduced to sending back stupid replies—-"

“Excuse me, but the Dark Lord does not exactly share his appointment book with me.”

Her eyes narrowed. Snape saw the coming explosion and suddenly and intensely wished he could kick himself and learn to keep his mouth shut when he was around her.

“Well, you might share your appointment book with me!” she said, her voice going up several decibels. “One message, one thought—-"

He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. “I have thought of you,” he said into her hair. “Merlin, I’ve missed this hair.”

She pushed him away from her. “That’s it, then? Just kiss me, and you’ll get your shag? That’s what I am to you?”

“I’ve told you what you are to me,” he said coldly, releasing her. “And I might ask what you’ve been doing with my private volumes.”

Lily looked distractedly around, running her hand through her hair. “They couldn’t help.”

“Couldn’t help with what?”

“Finding you.” As soon as she said it, Snape got the distinct impression that she wished she could scoop the words back into her mouth. She favored him with a look more ominous than before. “And here you are, sashaying through the door for all the world as if—-"

“Langlock.”

Wordlessly (and not by choice), Lily looked deeply and most sincerely into Snape’s eyes.

* i’ll kill you, severus. i can’t believe you’ve done this to me, and i will get you for it. oh, how i will get you for it—- *

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said, and couldn’t help a small smile as he read her next thoughts. “That, too, but I might have to be in a slightly different mood. Now, let me go over where I have been and what I have been doing. One,” he pulled off his cloak and slung it on a sofa, “I have been, as Albus likes to put it, dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort. Two,” he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off to land with the cloak, “I have learned his next move. It concerns you, and we’ll need to discuss it. Also, I need to make you aware of some things about me. Magically, I mean. Don’t give me that look. And three,” he began to unfasten his trousers, “--are you just going to stand there? Your husband’s been gone for three weeks—-bloody hell, that hurt, Lily! And if we’re going that direction, I have some equipment upstairs—-bloody—-all right, then.” He said the counterspell and she began panting, her tongue released at last.

“What’s three, then?” she managed. “I’ll kill you after that.”

“Quite. Three, Accio Bed, is that things are going to start moving quickly. Let’s talk about it after.”

“After?”

“Please God, after.”

***


All right, I can’t wrap it up just yet. I’m four pages in, out of time, and I’ll just have to get to it another day.