How Do "You" Like It?

Chapter Six: Research and Developments (Snape gets the low down)

Harry was mortified at the way he found himself, laying prone on a couch in a Slytherin room, while Malfoy waved his wand over him and held a strip of black plastic film in his other hand.
“Medicalus Opinionatum, Diagnosti.” Draco chanted and an image began to form on the sheet of film. Next, tiny words formed on the surface with lines leading to some of the lighter colored blobs.
It looked like a muggle x-ray with notes in the margins.
Draco moved away from him, studying the thing intently. Harry rose from his recline and watched him curiously.
“So, Dr. Malfoy. What do you see?” he asked.
“You are a very healthy fifteen-year-old, other than some slight malnutrition and a badly healed broken rib. Oh, and there is this,” He said, pointing to a kidney shaped blob in the middle of the film. “This should not be here, Potter. Know what it is?” he asked.
Harry shook his head so Draco continued.
“According to this, you, and possibly the rest of these nine unfortunates, have grown a uterus.” Draco finished. “Any idea how this happened?” he asked.
Harry explained his theory about Ron and Hermione’s argument and he was surprised that Malfoy listened quietly to every word and saved his questions for the end.
“So, you think that Granger started this?” he said.
“It’s just a thought. The only one I had.” Harry admitted.
“Why would Granger want Weasley to grow a uterus? I thought she was interested in him romantically?” Draco asked, his face bland.
“Ron’s oblivious to that. No, I can’t imagine Hermione wanting something that extreme. Ron thought it was started by someone in your house, but if you got it . . .well, it blows that theory.” Harry mused.
“This thing gives some vague referenced to . . .here it is, necessary supplies. Am I to take it, this will be extremely messy, as well as painful?” Draco asked, looking at the book, again.
Harry couldn’t look him in the face, so he stared at a coat of arms on the wall. “Well, yes. It is, actually. We’ve had to ask Dobby for a special waste bin. The Ravenclaws didn’t say, but the Hufflepuffs have been sneaking into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom to deal with theirs.”
“I see. Well, I am not that open with those of my dorm, so I think I’ll stay here for a few days. I’ve slept on that couch often enough. No one will question it. Ask for one of those bins for me, won’t you?” The blond asked.
Harry was too stunned by the boy’s tone to argue, so he called out. “Dobby!” and the elf popped up right in front of him. “Can you get another of those special rubbish bins for the . . .eh, where is the loo, Malfoy?” he asked.
Draco pointed to a side door and said, “In there.”
“Put it in there, okay Dobby?” Harry continued.
“And the secret?” Dobby asked.
Harry nodded, “You’ve done so well in keeping the others, too.” Harry agreed, winking to the elf. Dobby disappeared.
“Did I just recognize that elf?” Malfoy asked.
“Well, yes. Dobby used to be your father’s. I sort of helped to free him.” Harry said, sill not making eye contact. “Dobby likes me.”
“Hmmm,” Draco said twilit in his wand between his fingers. “I think you should learn this spell. Check as many others as you can and when I have succumbed, myself as well. And document each case.” Draco produced a manilla folder and dropped Harry’s film into it. He waved his hand and Harry’s name appeared on the file in magnificent script.
“When we have ten folders, we’ll need to talk to someone . . .more mature. You won’t like this, but I think Professor Snape is the best candidate. We cannot let this continue unchecked. It could have dire consequences. We need to stop the flow, if you’ll pardon the rather obvious pun.” Draco concluded with a wry sneer.
Harry was surprised to find himself snickering at the reference even as he inwardly winced.
“Okay. I agree. But why do I have to do all the research?” he asked standing too abruptly and receiving a bout of vertigo for his trouble.
Draco reached out his free hand and steadied the Gryffindor. “Because, I have a feeling that it is your fault that I am inflicted. Plus, I will likely be in no condition to do it.”
To this, Harry had to agree, and they set about a lesson in diagnostic spells. Harry learned three, the x-ray charm, a chemical balance sensor and a organ condition spell for good measure. Draco taught him an all-purpose stomach potion that immediately eased his nausea.
“I can see why you were chosen as Prefect. You really know your lessons.” the dark haired wizard said, receiving a raised eyebrow from the blond.
“A compliment, Potter? We have come a long way.” Draco smirked.
“Not that far, Malfoy. But, I’ll admit to being impressed. I still don’t like your family views, but you’re no slouch. Now, if you’d just grow a personality, we could be friends.”
“And who said I wanted to be your friend, Harry Potter?” Draco said crossing his arms at the door to the halls.
“You did, Draco Malfoy. First year, when you insulted Ron.” Harry countered, smiling blithely.
“Yes, well. I was just a kid.” The blond returned,. “I want to change the password for this room.” He called out and, after a second of silence, added. “The new password is ‘Ronald Bilius Weasley’. There, no Slytherin, prefect or not, is going to guess that!” and he smirked at the look on Harry’s face as he exited.
It took Harry two embarrassing days to complete the compilation of the eight files he needed before he walked up to the Slytherin Prefect’s lounge and looked around.
No one was near, so he firmly called out, “Ronald Bilius Weasley” and the door popped open.
Harry stepped in quickly, pulling it closed behind him. Inside, an extremely pale and queasy looking Draco Malfoy was just exiting the bathroom.
“If Granger is responsible for this, I am going to hex her and her entire family. Ron’s, too.” the bond groaned as he dropped onto the couch. “Did you get them?”
Harry nodded, producing files and setting them on a table. For the sake of privacy, he had only labeled them by their house and the order that they had been afflicted. “They all have it. What does it mean?” he asked.
“That the course of humanity could take an elaborate turn. Do me!” Draco said making Harry snap to attention. His wide eyes started Draco chuckling. “Not that way, Potter. I’m in no condition.” he teased.
When Harry caught the joke, he blushed darkly then pulled out his wand. Draco had stretched out and was waiting as Harry produced the necessary evidence of his condition. When he had finished he pulled out another file and put them into it and handed it to Draco.
The blond titled the folder with his name and looked a the film. “Yes, it’s there. Now, we need to see the Professor. No time like the present. Bring those.” he said, crawling to his feet and heading for the door. It was a short walk to the Professor’s office and they met no one in the halls, but Draco still seemed too stiff to Harry.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Right as rain. Oh, other than this piece of feminine anatomy that has sprouted in my belly and made itself a nuisance. Now, just walk, don’t talk.” the blond sneered.
Harry smiled over a desire to laugh and followed Malfoy to the next door down from the potions lab.
Draco knocked firmly and waited until Snape growled out. “Whoever it is, is not currently welcome. Go find someone that cares!”
Malfoy smiled evilly. “Put away your porn, Professor. I’m coming in and so is Harry Potter.”
The door was thrown open and Professor Snape glared at them both. “What is it now, Mr. Malfoy? I’ve already excused you from class. What more could you want? And why is he here?”
“We need your help. May we come in? It’s not a topic for hallway gossip and I really need to sit down.” Draco countered, pushing past to find a place for his ass.
An hour later, after they had shown him the files, the book and allowed him his own tests, Professor Snape dropped into his desk chair, resting his chin on his hands and glaring at them both.
“So, this has been going on for a month and no one has thought to get help, medical help?” he asked.
Draco rolled his eyes as Harry smacked his forehead. “Why does everyone have to ask? Professor, assuming it were you, would you want Madame Pomfrey there?” He asked.
“Point taken, Potter.” the old git answered.
“Professor, do you think that this thing is a fully functioning organ?” Draco asked pointing to the kidney shaped blob on his own diagnostic. “Will it do everything it is intended for?”
Snape’s odd look changed to curiosity as his eyes followed Draco’s arm to the film. “An interesting theory, Mr. Malfoy. It would certainly solve certain problems, wouldn’t it?”
Harry looked back and forth, confused by the turn in conversation.
“My thoughts. But, how to get it there and then to remove it after? Do you think it’s enough to warrant an owl?” Draco asked.
“The man deserves to know your condition. He would be able to arrange for the more complicated tests you would need and then . . .well, we would know.” Snape responded, sounding all his position as head of the Slytherins.
Harry gave up figuring out these two and looked at the two films closest him.
“Why does this one look different than the others?” he asked holding up Ron’s.
“Hmmm,” Snape said, comparing them. “This is the first boy affected. His organ is darker and thicker than the rest. I’d say he is about to start his cycle, again. The rest are . . .shall we say, dormant?” he concluded.
“Oh,” Harry said.
“Who is the next victim?” The professor asked turning the pages in the book.
The next recipient was not listed, in fact that part of the book was blank, not even the words ‘Pass this book’ were there.
“Odd. Well, you seem to have stopped the progression. Or perhaps there was a one month, or ten person limit on it. Hard to say without knowing the spell or charm. Leave this all with me and I’ll go over it some more.” and the two boys left.
Back in the Prefects Lounge, Harry asked the Slytherin. “What was all that stuff about functioning organs?”
Draco shifted in his chair to get more comfortable as he decided how to answer.
“What is a uterus for, Potter?”
“That where babies grow in girls. I’m not stupid, Malfoy. Why would you want to know if your uterus could do that?” he added.
“Because I am the last of the Malfoy line, . . .and I’m gay. Doesn’t make my father very happy. Now if I could have a baby, then he could stop trying to get me to pop some pureblood virgin’s cherry.”
Harry just stared, open-mouthed, until Draco chucked and pushed his chin up with one finger.