About a Girl

Yes, it has been a slightly long wait, and I apologize. Things have been very hectic here, between school, work, and generally having a life, and I haven't had much time to write. However, now that my college applications are almost complete (*does happy dance*), I should have more time, with any luck. Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to read and review this story; it really means a lot that you stick with this little fanfiction.


IrishChic20: You're quoted somewhat in this chapter, hope you don't mind. And yes, it would be lovely indeed if we could figure out a way to make men give birth. Ahh, well, that's why it's so much fun to believe in magic =)


DrpnBlood4U: Damn you're preceptive! And yesh, I might swing things in that direction....*looks around shiftily*


Utopia: Hah, wow, you are a very thorough reviewer! Heh, I'll do my best to answer most of your comments: No, Draco didn't turn into a girl right away, it was a bit more gradual. And yes, he is supposed to have characteristics of his family, and be like himself if he had been born a girl, basically.


Ha, I didn't even remember that Greenleaf was from LOTR until you reminded me! I admit, I'm a big fan myself, but actually, I took the name from a character in the book "The Talented Mr. Ripley" which I had just finished reading. But hey, now we have both of the blonde bombshells (Draco and Legolas) all rolled into one! *drools*


And you have a point, Draco already suffers from PMS. Pissy Male Syndrome. A very common occurrence, unfortunately.



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Hermione was finishing up a very long and complex translation for Ancient Runes when a loud strangled groan made her hand jump and turn her last symbol into a splotch of ink. Growling in frustration, she slammed her quill down and walked up the stairs to the bathroom in a huff. If anything less than death was happening to him, she was going to kill him herself.


Knocking on the bathroom door, she called, "What's the freaking problem, Malfoy? And it better be pretty damn important."


A small voice came from the inside of the bathroom. "I'm....bleeding."


Hermione sighed. "Just put a band-aid on it, you wimp. And when you shave your legs next time, just be more careful around the knees and ankles."


Draco rolled his eyes in exasperation. "That's all very well and good Granger, but the bleeding I'm talking about it coming from a more southern region."


Realization dawning, Hermione unsuccesfully tried to stem her giggles. Well, it seemed that justice had finally been served. Now if there was any way he could give birth to a child, she would consider all of womankind permenantly revenged.


"It's not funny, Granger!" Malfoy yelled angrily. "I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the blood, I thought the potion had finally killed me or something."


"Oh relax, ferret, millions of women go through it everyday and they survive. Didn't you have cramps or something that made you realize what was going on?"


Now that she mentioned it, Draco realized that his stomach had been in pain all day, but he had been too busy concentrating to notice, or put it down to nerves. However, now that this conclusion came to him, the aches in his stomach returned with a vegeance, causing him to double over in pain.


"Look," he said through gritted teeth, "what...what am I supposed to do?"


Rubbing her temples, Hermione replied, "Open the counter underneath the right sink. There should be a box of tampons under there."


Draco reached under the sink and pulled out the small cardboard box. Looking at the thin cotton tubes and imagining one of them inside him, he opened the set of instructions and started to read.


Sitting against the wall, Hermione was peacefully daydreaming when she heard him shriek, "I have to do WHAT?!?!"


"Oh for Merlin's sake, just follow the instructions, they're very simple. Just make sure to relax, it will hurt if your muscles are tense."


She heard muffled curses and grumbling, along with the sound of paper ripping. After a slight pause, grunts and exclamations of pain came streaming under the door along with a mix of swearwords. It sounded like Malfoy was having quite a bit of trouble.


"Do you need some help?" Hermione asked tentatively, not really sure if she was mentally prepared for that particular task.


"No, I do not!" Draco shot back, his face screwed up in pain. These damn little things were impossible to get in even halfway, not to mention the complex finger aerobics involved to remove the cardboard shell. How did women manage to have sex without dying of pain? He couldn't even imagine getting a cock up there, let alone this tiny tube.


Shaking her head at his stubbornness, Hermione rested her head against the wall. This was obviously going to take some time.

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Draco slipped into his pajamas, walking a bit gingerly. After several minutes of sweating and puffing like a tea kettle, he had finally managed to get the tampon in, to his intense pride. This satisfication lasted approximately five minutes, until Granger informed him that he couldn't wear it overnight, and handed him a wrapped diaper-like device. Fuming in anger, he had snatched the pad from her grasp, and stalked into his room without another word.


Whoever had cursed women with periods should be burned at the stake. And how come no one had yet figured out a magical way to get rid of them, or at least come up with a better alternative than sticking a cotton ball up your twat or walking around wearing a bloody diaper? Whoever could come up with that would be rich beyond their wildest dreams.


Definately something to look into after Hogwarts.


He suddenly felt very anger and fed up with the world in general. All the emotions he had been feeling for the past few days welled up inside him, threatening to spill out and overwhelm him. Burying his head in the pillow, Draco gripped it intensely, trying to stop the flow of tears that were, inexplicably, about to drop from his eyes.


There was a timid knock on the door. "Can I come in?" Granger's voice asked.


Draco cleared his throat, sitting up and blinking frantically. "If you want," he croaked, his voice sounding shakier than he would have liked.


Hermione opened the door and walked in, carrying a small paper bag. Approaching the bed, she got a good look at Malfoy. He looked like utter hell. Clutching his pillow for dear life, knees to his chest, eyes red rimmed and dark circled, he looked like a small girl, lost, clutching her teddy bear. Knowing the power of PMS, especially during stressful times, Hermione felt unexpectedly sympathetic towards the prat, and sat down lightly on the edge of the bed.


"How are you doing?" she asked hesitantly.


Draco laughed hollowly. "Spectacular," he replied, turning to adjust the bedside lamp so that Granger couldn't see his shiny eyes.


Clearing her throat, Hermione opened the bag, and pulled out a small blue vial full of liquid. "This is a potion that helps with cramps; just take a sip in the mornings and you should be fine for the rest of the day. Madame Pomfrey usually will have more if you need it. Also...."


Hermione reached into the bag, pulling out a large bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate. "Trust me, this will come in handy," she said with a slight chuckle, placing both items on Malfoy's bedside table.


Looking at the bottle and chocolate, Draco swallowed the large lump that was forming in his throat. For some reason, Granger's gesture was threatening to send him over the edge, and deep down in the back of his mind, he was furious with himself. 'For crying out loud,' he thought, 'Losing your dick doesn't bother you, but you fall apart when Granger gives you a candy bar.'


"Th-Thanks," Draco said shakily, unable to think of anything else to say. He picked up the chocolate to give himself something to do. Bittersweet...his favorite. He wondered if she somehow knew that or if she had just guessed. Why was this bothering him so much? So she did something semidecent for him, he shouldn't be going to pieces over it. Draco figured it was probably the cherry on top of the day's long and confusing events and his brain was imploding just trying to process it.


Sniffing, he suddenly realized that tears were rolling down his cheeks. Aw, fuck. Screwing up his face, Draco tried to stop the flow, they just kept coming down. Giving up, he stuffed his face into his knees, shoulders shaking slightly.


With his knees growing rapidly damp, Draco threw all caution to the winds and proceeded to sob quietly. All of the emotions bottled up inside his chest were exploding over him in waves, and it was physically so overwhelming that he clutched his legs tightly, desperate for something to hold onto as he shook out his tears. He felt repulsive, and so disgustingly weak, he wanted to slap himself, but he couldn't help it; all thoughts of humiliation and embarrassment vanished as he continued to cry, eyes stinging as hot tears ran down his cheeks, not even caring that Granger was right there watching.


Hermione stared, slightly aghast at the scene before her eyes. He was crying! Draco Malfoy was sobbing his eyes out right in front of her! Somehow, after everything that had happened and all the vulnerabilities and weaknesses he had revealed to her, even after listening to him put it a tampon, this was the most surreal and yet the most normal. It was only natural that he was bawling after all he had been through, but the thought of Malfoy getting stressed out and upset was laughable. Much as Hermione hated to admit it, he played the part of smooth charming bastard so well, she actually tended to believe he was infallible. Hell, he had even put on a bra with grace, something that was scientifically and physically impossible.


After standing like an idiot watching him cry for a few moments, Hermione pulled herself together and marched to his side of the bed. Yes, this may have been Malfoy, but at the same time, it was a frustrated hormonal girl, and goddamnit, she was not about to just sit there and let her cry. So Hermione did what she had done many times to her dormmates, friends, or random third years she found weeping in the bathrooms:


She put her arms around Malfoy and gave him a great big ole bear hug.


Feeling arms around him, Draco stiffened slightly and looked up. Was Granger touching him?! He couldn't believe the audacity, how dare that bint even think of hugging-


Ohhhh.


It felt good.


Verrrrry good, in fact. All of his muscles involuntarily relaxed and he slumped slightly in her arms, his own snaking round her neck and hugging her back seemingly of their own free will. All of his emotions seemed to dissapate slightly, and he was so shocked, he stopped crying. The reassuring comfort of his body pressed against hers felt so wonderful that Draco closed his eyes. He wasn't used to this. His parents may not have been the monsters that everyone perceived them to be, but they weren't big on physical affection. They didn't give impromptu hugs like this. He didn't know what was happening, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. All he knew was that he suddenly felt as safe and as warm as if he had been plunged into a warm blanket, and he didn't want it to stop.


Hermione was shocked at Malfoy's reaction to the hug. She had half expected him to fly into a frenzy as soon as she touched him, maybe even hit her, not to melt into an oozing glob of goo in her arms. Had this boy never been hugged that he was so desperate for something to hold? She made a mental note to buy him a teddy bear the next time she went into Hogsmeade. Without thinking, Hermione started to rub his back lightly, the soft circles of her fingertips elicting a low groan from Malfoy.


The amazing feelings of her hands were lulling Draco into a deep hypnosis when he let out an involuntary moan, which brought him out of the spell completely. He suddenly snapped his head up and as he rapidly pulled away from Granger, he locked eyes with her for a brief moment, and was promptly stunned. The expression in her eyes held none of their usual anger, humor, or concentration; instead, they were filled with a warmth that he hadn't known could burn in those brown orbs, making them shine like lanterns. In that instant, Draco felt completely enveloped in their glow, a sense of contentedness as he had never felt spreading through his body down to his bones. If he had felt warm and safe while in her arms, it was nothing compared to what he was seeing in her eyes. Draco felt as though he was floating down into a deep, dark chasm, similar to many of his nightmares as a child; simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating, as the bottom of his stomach dropped out and his entire body felt light. He unconsciously leaned forward slightly.


Suddenly, Granger blinked and the moment was gone. Draco suddenly found himself on the other side of the bed, blankets pulled up to his chin and his head tilted away from her.


"I believe you've stayed long enough, Granger," he said, his voice now perfectly steady and disdainful. "Unless you're planning on taking advantage of me in my sleep, I suggest you go. Potter might be planning to explore an empty well shaft, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to miss such an adventure."


He heard Hermione clear her throat, wondering what her facial expression was. However, he didn't dare turn around to see. "Good night, Malfoy," she said in a neutral tone of voice, and then he heard the sound of footsteps as she left the room, and quietly closed the door behind him.


Immediately, Draco proceeded to hit his head against the pillow repeatedly. Shit, shit, shit!! How in the name of Merlin's saggy balls had he managed to fuck up so utterly?! His father would have disowned him ten times over if he had seen such a pitiful display. All of his life, he had endeavored to hide his emotions, and he had done it well, sneering at fools like Potter and Weasely who wore their hearts on their sleeves and who would lunge for your jugular if you so much as sneezed at them the wrong way. And after spending a mere 10 hours in their presence, Draco had now joined their ranks. What the hell had he been thinking?! As the scene relentlessly replayed in his head, his actions seemed so pathetic and weak, he was tempted to cry all over again.


He recalled all the times that he accused Pansy and Millicent of exaggerating the horrors of periods, and the flurry of hexes that he had received in response. Fate was probably laughing hysterically, with such a smug expression that Draco was tempted to climb up and whack it off. Preferably with a brick.


And of all people to throw himself on and snivel like a blithering idiot, it had to be Granger, didn't it? Of course, since she seemed to be privy now to any and all embarrassing events that happened to him, no matter how trivial they may be. It was like going through puberty all over again; a nightmarish, twisted version of puberty, where he was the sole participant and couldn't even make fun of other people's acne.


She could have said something cruel and sarcastic when he burst into tears, or merely stood about awkwardly, patting his head and slowly inching out of the room, the way he always did when faced with a crying female. He would have infiniately preferred those options. But nope, rather than doing anything subtle and logical, Granger had to be her usual Gryffindorish self, and grab him as though he were a sack of potatoes, with no warning and no finesse. And by Morgana, that girl was freakishly strong! Apparently lugging around all those books had given her hippogriff-like forearms, judging by the way her arms had clamped around him.


And yet, it had felt amazing. Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin sex god, had been completely moved to pieces by a mere hug. The irony was so thick he could have picked it up with a magnet.


But it had been that small second when he looked into her eyes that had done it completely; that brief moment when time seemed to have frozen. In that instant, Draco had felt so naked and vulnerable, he practically started shaking just thinking about it. She had seen him in more terminally awkward situations in the past two days than anyone should in their entire lives, and he practically died of embarrassment when he looked at her eyes! Draco wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh at this point, at how easily he had lost control, something that he had always prided himself on maintaining at all costs. Hell, he had managed to breeze through his transformation with his usual Slytherin charm and snarkiness intact, bickering with Granger until her head practically exploded with anger. And it had seemed to work. They both depised each other and the situation they found themselves in, and had "bonded" in some weird, bizarre way in their mutual antagonism, if such a thing was possible. It was odd how they insulted the deepest aspects of each other's personality, appearance, and life, and yet never seemed to talk about anything personal or real.


But tonight, it felt like Draco had broken an unspoken rule and released some emotion, even if it wasn't in words. The barrier of control that he fought to preserve constantly had been breached. And all by a simple hug. It may not have been a big deal to most people, but to him, it was a matter of pride, one of the few weaknesses he would admit to possessing.


Sighing in irritation, Draco rubbed his temples. Great. If he thought he had been emotional before, contemplating his breakdown and reasons for it, and why he was moody, etc made him feel about ten times worse.


He didn't know much about menopause, but Draco figured if he ever had the chance to go for it, he'd take it immediately.


Exhausted, but with his brain still churning, Draco snuggled under the covers, and attempted to sleep, with visions of brown eyes and nimble fingers haunting his slumber well until the wee hours of the morning.


When he returned to normal, he was going to buy Pansy and Millicent all the chocolate in Honeyduke's.


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Yes, this chapter was a bit shorter than normal, but it just fit better to me to end here and to start the new morning, as the upcoming chapters will be a bit more plot-driven. This was a hard chapter to do, as it was a bit more emotional and introspective, but I wanted to show how Draco deals with all of these emotions. And cause, yeah, PMS makes you all emotional and question your thoughts, feelings, until you're a big blob of confusion. Lovely, isn't it?


Feedback, constructive criticism, opinions, questions, pure unadulterated praise; I accept all forms of currency.