Murder at Malfoy Manor

"She did what?" Draco asked and jumped to his feet. He was a mixed brew of emotions: shock, anger, disbelief and a tad bit excited and happy. He looked over at Hermione who refused to lift her eyes from the floor.

"She stole a uniform, impersonated a doctor, broke into the clinic and took personal medical records, bribed the receptionist, who happens to be a friend of hers, pilfered Draco's frozen sperm, impregnated herself, lied about who the father was and..."

Ron was aghast, as was the entire room. "My God, Hermione!" he said, "Why the hell would you do all of that?"

"You want to know why?" she screamed, jumping to her feet.

"I do!" Pansy said, angrily. "I want to know why you would risk everything- your marriage, your career- just to have my husband's child!"

Hermione, her heart racing, knew there was no going back. She was really going to tell them everything. No more secrets, no more hiding. It was frightening but liberating at the same time. "I took Draco's sperm and impregnated myself because I was desperate to have something of his." She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and waited for the inevitable questions to start.

"I don't understand, Hermione," Ginny said.

Harry understood all to well. "She loves him. That's why she was so desperate to have his child."

"Loves Malfoy?" Ron said laughing. "Hermione would never love MALFOY!" He stopped laughing abruptly when he saw her face. She was staring right at Draco and it was as clear as day. "You DO love him." Ron's legs gave out from under him and he sat down on the sofa, dazed.

Blaise was enjoying himself immensely. It was so damn fun to watch all the drama unfold. The look on Draco's face was priceless. Pansy was furious, Longbottom and Potter were in shock, Ginny was staring off into space and Weasley was on the verge of crying like a girl. It was utter success! And then Draco made it even better.

"Why Granger! If I had only known!" Draco said with a devious grin. "We could have made the babies the old fashioned way; after all, I've wanted to fuck you since fourth year." He had no idea why it came out of his mouth but it did, and he immediately regretted it.

Ron was sputtering in anger. He wanted nothing more than to smash Draco's face in. How could his wife be in love with this asshole whose sole purpose in life seemed to be to make other people miserable?

Hermione's jaw dropped. "You... you. I can't even think of anything horrible enough to call you right now!"

"I can!" Ginny said. "You, Draco Malfoy, are a heartless bastard! This woman just admitted that she loves you. Loves you so much that she was willing to break the law just to have a part of you!"

"And break the law she did!" Blaise said. "When all she had to do was simply ask him." He picked up the television remote and pressed the on button.

"Like she would have just walked up to him and said 'Draco, I've secretly loved you for years. Can I have your babies?' He would have laughed in her face!" Ginny said angrily.

Blaise smiled his all-knowing smile. "Actually, Draco has been in love with Granger for a long time. In fact, he has stalked her, secretly taken photos of her at a topless beach in Spain and even stolen her sweater from the back of a chair in a restaurant when she wasn't looking. He keeps it in his underwear drawer and takes it out numerous times a day to hold it and savor the smell of her lingering perfume." He pressed play. "Talk about being desperate!"

Draco's face was red with embarrassment. "You have no proof of any of that, Zabini." He was trying to avoid looking at Hermione, who had taken her seat directly across from him and was staring at him.

"Oh but I do!" Blaise said, taking Hermione's white cardigan sweater from the box and tossing it at Draco, where in landed in his lap. "I wish I had some popcorn or maybe a box of Milk duds!" he said, taking an empty seat next to Neville. "This first segment is the survaillance footage of Hermione actually stealing Draco's little 'sperm-sicles', as Longbottom dubbed them."

Draco picked up the sweater and instead of giving it back to its owner, he folded it neatly and placed it back in his lap. He knew everyone was watching and thinking he was a weirdo but he didn't care. Hermione was smiling at him strangely and he smiled back, his fingertips resting on the soft fabric of her sweater.

"Can everyone see alright?" Blaise asked over his shoulder.

Hermione had to endure watching herself dressed in a stolen medical coat, sneaking around the fertility clinic taking a man's sperm without his permission. There was a close up of her face that left no doubt that it was her. She heard Ron make a disgusted grunt and her eyes wandered over to see Draco watching her.

She quickly looked away and back at the screen where the scene had changed. It now showed the inside of a library and there was none other than Draco Malfoy hiding behind a shelf, peeking through an empty space. Hermione's eyes grew wider as the surveillance camera panned the room. She saw that it was herself on the other side of the book shelf, sitting at a table reading a book. She recognized the outfit she was wearing and she also recognized the book, much to her astonishment.

"You were spying on me?" she asked him. "On THAT day?"

Draco leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his fingers in a steeple under his chin. "I spied on you lots of days. What's so special about this one?" He was beyond curious. Something was making her very agitated.

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley. Why don't you tell us what is so significant about this day in particular?" Blaise pressed pause and zoomed in on the cover of the book Hermione was reading. "Is this why you're acting all shocked?"

"Fertility Problems and Their Solutions," Pansy read out loud. Her head swung around quickly and she questioned Hermione in an astonished voice. "You were reading about how to impregnate yourself with Draco's sperm and there he was hiding a row over in the shadows, probably thinking about having sex with you?" She gave a snort. "Un-fucking-believable!"

"Pretty coincidental isn't it?" Blaise said. "Just think! If only Draco would have had the balls to approach her instead of stalking her like some pervert, they wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"What would you have had me do?" Draco just about yelled. "Just walk up to her and tell her that every damn day for more than ten years I've thought about her? That I picture myself making love to her so often that I sometimes think I'm going crazy?" He looked over at her. "Should I have come out and told her that I regret never telling her how I felt?"

"Yes you fucking retard! You should have told her everything!" Blaise snapped. "Instead, she ended up with looser Weasley and you married the whore of the century!"

"Hey!" Ron said. "She asked ME to marry HER!"

"That's only because she thought she could never have the one man she longed to be with! She settled for you." Blaise was quickly loosing his composure. "Did you think that she LOVED you? Honestly, Weasley! You're stupidity amazes me sometimes!" He stalked over to Ron and grabbed a hold of his shirt. "You are a worthless pile of cheating shit and Granger deserves better than you!"

"What the hell, Zabini!" Harry shouted, running to Ron's aid. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Blaise tore his eyes from Ron's and seeing Harry, he reluctantly let go. Harry wondered why Blaise would get so upset over something that didn't affect him in the least.

Hermione looked to Draco questioningly and all he did was shrug his shoulders. He had no clue what this was all about any more than she did.

Blaise gave Ron one last murderous glare and then picking up the remote again, he pressed the off button. "Sorry about that," he said apologetically. "Sometimes I let my killer emotions get the better of me."

He took out another cigar, ran it under his nose, smelling it and then continued as though nothing had happened. "So we now know each others deepest darkest secrets. No one else but those of us in this room will ever find out- unless..."

"Wait!" Neville said. "You didn't tell us what Pansy's secret is!"

Pansy laughed. "I told you," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "That I've done lots of illegal things and there is nothing Zabini could have on me that will make me pay him loads of money. I don't care who knows what I've done!"

"You mean you don't care if everyone in the wizarding world finds out that you steal from high-end retail establishments or that you're in the habit of drugging the drinks of your male AND female friends so you can take them to a flea bag motel and take advantage of them?" Blaise was grinning from ear to ear. "I can understand why that wouldn't matter but what about the times you've taken Polyjuice Potion and pretended to be Narcissa Malfoy so that you could have sex with your father-in-law?"

Draco made a strangled noise in his throat, Neville clutched the velvet drapes to keep from toppling over and everyone else sat in stunned silence.