Draco's Cracked Mask

**WARNING** Angsty and basically tying up loose ends. (Sorry, no sex...)

Author's note--Alright, a little wrap-up for you. This has been a crazy journey, but I'm glad I got the chance to write my emotions into an actual plot. Thank you to everyone who has read this fic, whether or not you reviewed.

THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed! I always appreciate your reviews. I hope you'll join me in another fic again soon...I've got a couple that are almost ready to be posted!

Small plug: for those who haven't read "Cheating Boyfriends, Faithful Husbands"...I'm actually quite proud of that one. It's just a little drabble twoshot, and I know the summary might put you off...but trust me. If I haven't led you astray when I'm upset (ie THIS fic) then would I lead you astray when I'm actually RATIONAL and LOGICAL?

Yeah...go read it...it has sex in it...better sex than in this one. LOL And spanking. Yes, I know there was a spanking/sex scene in this fic, but it was short. The other one's not short...and like I said, I'm very proud of it. And it's the perfect pick-me-up for this one coming to a close...

I hope you enjoy!
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Yesterday was a good day. I’m sitting at the breakfast table again, smiling at my sleepy Gryffindor across from me. Okay, yes, yesterday I went through more emotion than I think my father had ever shown in his lifetime, but it ended well. Harry left, Lucius died, I was terrified, and then we had some bloody fucking incredible sex. Is that weird? To have sex with the man who just killed your father? And who has killed other people before? I don’t know if I could do that, you know; take someone’s life. I know that it was part of the job description as a Death-Eater, but I guess it’s one of those things I’ll never really know.

Am I a killer? I don’t particularly care for ants. I crush any ant that I happen to see. I like snakes, and spiders don’t bother me the way they do Weasley. Poor bloke has a conniption every time he sees an eight-legged shadow, never mind whether it’s ACTUALLY a spider or not. I kill ants. Does that make me a killer? I think not. It’s their place in this world to die. Under my foot. Funny, my father used to say the same thing about Muggles.

I still don’t particularly care for Muggles, but then, I’ve never met one. Harry says they’re alright, but he’s a Gryffindor. (You have to take what they say with a grain of salt because they’re Gryffindors. Circular logic? Perhaps. But you know it’s true.) The closest I’ve come to a Muggle was Granger, and she’s alright. Surprised you, didn’t I? You never thought that I, Draco Malfoy, pureblood, would ever concede that a Muggleborn witch was worth anything, especially a Gryffindor one. But Granger’s respectable. She and Weasley came over last night. I guess Remus or Kingsley must have informed them of ‘the incident’ yesterday because after an early dinner last night, her bushy head appeared in the fireplace to say that they were coming over.

They’ve been distant ever since Harry moved in with me. I know that they don’t quite understand what he sees in me, and I know they don’t trust me. I’m a big enough person that I can see that they are just looking out for their friend, but if they could come down from their high and mighty thrones long enough to see even a fraction of what I feel for Harry, they wouldn’t worry anymore. But not only are they Gryffindors, Weasley is a bit thick and Granger’s a know-it-all. Can’t tell either of them anything without them taking offense.

But anyway, he was glad to see them. Pathetically glad, might I add. If MY friends had snubbed me and argued with me the way they did to Harry, I would’ve made them sweat a bit more, personally. But I guess that’s the Slytherin popping up in me. Harry was more Hufflepuff about it, telling them that it was great to see them and all that rubbish. I stood in the doorway and tried not to appear TOO condescending (Harry tells me I need to work on that) while they hugged. Then Weasley surprised the hell out of me.

He walks right up to me, staring at me with narrowed blue eyes, and he’s looking all serious, even though it’s hard to take a freckle-faced Weasley seriously. I stop leaning on the doorframe as he eyes me, and I have to tell you, it was rather unnerving. Point to the Weasel for making me uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to ask him what his malfunction was when he holds out his hand, grimacing. It wasn’t a smile; it was a grimace.

“Malfoy,” he says. “Honestly, I’m not real sorry about your father dying. He was a right bastard about a lot of things, but you do have my sympathies. It can’t be easy for you right now, not that that ever stopped you from antagonizing us no matter what was going on, but I just want you to know that I think you’re alright. As long as we’re clear on one thing. Harry is my best mate, and I know he fancies you something fierce. If you hurt him, I WILL have to kill you, and I just wanted you to know that up front.”

Only Gryffindors announce your death threat TO YOU. I mean, honestly. Okay, let’s suppose for a second that I had some ulterior motive when it came to Harry. If I were to hurt him enough to warrant Weasley’s wrath, did he REALLY think I would wait around for him to make good on his threat? I’m just going to hang out while he comes to kill me? I don’t think so. But I guess it makes him feel all important and protective of his best mate to threaten the Slytherin. If he were a bit more eloquent with it all, I might be able to respect him for it. But alas, it is Weasley, and that ruins whatever ‘cuteness’ factor it might have had.

I blink at him as all of these thoughts run through my head, and then I make a mental note to smack myself stupid later for thinking ‘Weasley’ and ‘cute’ in the same sentence. A slow smile spreads itself across my face and for once, there is no sneer. I feel absolutely no need to sneer at him, which astounds me as much as everyone else, and I take his offered hand.

“Crystal clear, Weasley,” I say. “But you don’t have to worry. I…” and suddenly I stop because I was just about to blurt out to Weasley that I love Harry, and it just occurred to me that the poor sap might have a heart attack if I said that. Let’s see, quick thinking, Draco…

“Let me put it in language you can relate to,” I cover smoothly. His eyes narrow more (if possible) and I know he’s suspicious. “I understand that quite possibly the only things we have in common, Weasley, are Harry and a love of Quidditch.” His face lights up at the mention of the game. Bingo! Harry wasn’t wrong about that. (Not that I thought he would be, but I almost smiled at the puppy-dog look on Weasley’s face at the mention of it.)

“Harry means more to me than all the Snitches in the world, more than any broom, and any Quidditch match. Ever. You don’t have to worry about me hurting him because to hurt him would be to break myself.”

Oh shit! I didn’t mean to say that! Out loud, I mean, to Weasley! My eyes widen, and my throat closes up. He breaks into a grin, and my panic shifts abruptly to Slytherin caution. Does he have gas? Did a blood vessel in his brain explode and cause his muscles to twitch? Why is he smiling at me?

“Good,” was all he said. “I’m still not sorry about your dad, but my condolences.”

“Thank you,” I replied faintly. It was my turn to be gobsmacked. I guess my slip of the tongue wasn’t quite a slip after all. I am forced to pay attention, though, because Granger is suddenly beside Weasley, her arm threaded through his, and she’s talking to me.

“I’m sorry also, Malfoy,” she said. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I hope you know that you can…” she heaved a big sigh and continued gamely on. “You can count us as your friends.”

As if I couldn’t GET any more shocked. I think I just stood there, blinking stupidly at them while my poor overworked brain tried to comprehend what was going on. Harry was standing behind them, and he looked about like I did, only sappier.

“Thank you, Granger,” I managed to reply. I couldn’t say much more than that, so I reached out and grasped her hand for a brief instant. She jumped, as if she wasn’t expecting me to touch her, but she squeezed back just before I let go, and I saw the smile in her eyes.

So the Gryffindor Trio and I have come to an understanding. I know Harry is still giddy from THAT excitement last night. Well, he’s sleepy right now, but I know he’ll be giddy again once he wakes up properly. I can’t help but smile at my adorable lover as I sift through the morning mail.

There was an owl message from Remus, saying that he’d be over after lunch today. I tried to distract Harry as much as possible—we went out and played a bit with brooms and the Snitch all morning—but I could tell he was nervous. His game was just a little bit ‘off’…and I would know, since I’ve spent six years playing opposite him, watching his every move. I have it on good authority that that man moves like he was born on a broom. Yes, I might be biased, but who cares? And of course, it’s not like I was distracted by the amount of wood between his powerful thighs or anything…

True to his word, Lupin stepped out of the fireplace just as I picked up Harry’s uneaten bowl of soup to take it from the kitchen table to the counter. Harry’s eyes go wide as we hear him call, and I lean down to give him a quick reassuring peck before going to greet our guest.

“Draco, wait,” he puts his hand on my arm, stopping me before I can invite him into the kitchen where Harry is. “You and I are more alike than I think you realize.”

What? His lowered tone catches me off-guard at first, but I dip my head towards him a fraction to make sure that I don’t miss what he says.

“In what way?” I respond, arching my eyebrow. It doesn’t have the same effect on him as it does on Harry. (And actually, I’m glad of that!)

“My father offended Fenrir Greyback,” he says to me, and my other eyebrow joins the first one somewhere up near my hairline. “I paid the price for my father’s crimes, you see.”

The hair on the back of my neck and my arms stood on end. I had never known…

“I went through a rebellious period, like all teenagers do,” Remus continued, and I shook myself out of my thoughts to listen to him. “I blamed my father for what had happened to me, and I hated him very much for a while. We are different in that respect, because my father didn’t mean for me to get hurt while your father…”

“Hurt me on purpose,” I finish for him, and he gives me a sad smile that has GOT to be his specialty.

“You HAVE to let go of that, Draco,” he says, looking me in the eyes. “You MUST let go of your father for your own sake…and for Harry’s.”

“Harry’s?” I question.

“Let go of Lucius,” he whispers again. “Move on. You don’t necessarily have to forgive him, but embrace the love that Harry is offering you.”

Too gobsmacked to respond right then, I lead him back into the kitchen, and Harry offers him the seat beside him. I smile politely and kiss Harry one last time, purposely in front of Lupin, before making a grand show of exiting.

Of course they want to talk alone…but that doesn’t mean I can’t spy on them. I know I shouldn’t, but the temptation is just too much for a Slytherin. I have a feeling that Lupin’s comments to me will be better explained anyway.

Harry’s staring at the ground somewhere beyond Lupin’s feet, and my heart twists at the miserable expression on his face. I know he’s afraid of what Remus thinks, what Remus is going to say. His face doesn’t move, but I see the flicker of green as he looks directly at Lupin.

“Remus,” I can hear him say in a small voice. “I know you don’t want me to kill, but now I can truly put the past behind me. That was the last part of unfinished business. Now, Lucius can never hurt Draco again. Draco has nightmares; he wakes up screaming because of what Lucius did to him. Please understand, Remus. I have to protect him. I HAVE to. It’s like breathing. Or paying taxes. It’s essential, and you don’t really think about it. I love him so much, and it kills me to see what that stupid fucker did to him! He’s such a wonderful person, Remus; you have no idea. He doesn’t deserve me…”

I can barely stand to remain on the other side of the doorway, crouching outside the barely open door, listening. There’s just enough of a crack in the door that I can clearly see them, and Harry’s got tears sliding down his cheeks. My own eyes mist over, and I swallow hard.

“Harry…I do understand,” Remus responded, just as quietly. My lover lets out a relieved sob and leans into his father figure. Remus puts his arms around his fellow Gryffindor and lets Harry express his relief. I feel a stab of jealousy, wishing that I was the one comforting him; after all, if he’s so emphatic about protecting me, I should at least get to comfort him when he worries about all of that.

“Your father and Sirius were always very protective of me,” Remus continued, carding his fingers through Harry’s tangled mess. I gave a grim smile; that always helps to relax him, and I’m glad that Lupin knows that. “I was always sorry about not stopping Sirius when he went too far in goading Severus…and maybe if I had stepped in, things would have turned out differently for everyone.

“Draco is lucky to have you, Harry,” his voice is thick with emotion, and I choked back my own agreements. “Not everyone has the same kind of unconditional love that you too do. Your parents and I loved each other like that; they loved each other like that, and they loved you like that. So do I.”

Oh man. That really set Harry to bawling, and I actually fluttered against the door, my first instinct warring with my Slytherin caution. Isn’t that funny; my first instinct was to run to Harry because he was upset, and I almost blew my cover. I paused, though, because Remus was continuing to talk and I have to trust that Remus is comforting him. If he’s not…heads will roll! (That’s not a threat; it’s a promise. And Malfoys ALWAYS make good on their promises!)

“Harry, you are willing to do anything to protect Draco, even kill,” oddly, Remus didn’t sound disapproving when he said that. He sounded…desperate. “Do whatever it takes to keep your love alive. Keep it because not everyone gives unconditionally. He’s a Slytherin, Harry, and they are even less prone. Draco is a good man, and so are you, Harry. Don’t cheat yourselves out of destiny’s reward.”

Destiny’s reward? ME? I make a silent note to myself that I will not make werewolf jokes around Remus anymore, I will not sing or hum certain tunes around him anymore, and I probably owe him a great big hug and kiss for that remark!

“Thank you, Remus,” I hear my lover sniffle. The sound of the chairs scraping across the floor lets me know that their little talk is over, and they’re probably hugging right now. Gryffindors. They really like to hug. Kind of like the Irish…they love to drink.

I suddenly realize that they’re about to come looking for me, and I make a beeline for the living room, throwing myself into the most comfortable chair we’ve ever owned and grabbing the book on the end table, opening it to a random page. They come around the corner, and I have to remind myself to breathe quietly because why would I be out of breath? I’ve been sitting here reading…not spying on them and then almost getting caught.

“Remus is going to go now, love,” I wait until Harry speaks to me, and then I look up from my book, blinking just a little and letting a slight confusion grace my features.

“Hmm? Oh, are you finished with your talk? Sorry, I got lost in the story,” I let out a perfectly-timed self-deprecating laugh as I get to my feet, dropping the book into the chair behind me. It’s not a complete lie; I DID get lost in A story…just not the one in the book! I approached them, holding my hand out to Remus. He looks down at it, takes it, and then…PULLS ME INTO A HUG!

I’m so shocked, I can’t even hug him back at first. I finally put my arms around him and pat him on the back a little.

“Oh, Harry, I forgot my jacket in the kitchen,” he says, pulling back from me and sizing me up. “Will you fetch it for me?” I narrow my eyes as Harry leaves the room because Remus didn’t bring a jacket with him this time. “Did you have fun spying on us?”

“Wh-what?” I certainly didn’t expect THAT question.

“Come off it, Draco,” Remus gets this ‘fatherly’ expression on his face. “Number one, I could smell you just outside the door. Number two, your heart was fluttering a little too rapidly for just ‘reading’…but it would coincide perfectly with a mad dash from crouching outside the kitchen to pretending in here. Number three, you’re far too Slytherin to NOT eavesdrop. But it’s okay because there was nothing I said to Harry that I wouldn’t have said to you too. Now you see, though, right? You see how what Lucius did to you has affected Harry, and now you understand why you have to let go of him completely…if only for Harry’s sake.”

Harry comes back and tells Remus that he couldn’t find it, and then Remus shakes his head and goes, “That’s right! I didn’t bring one this time! Sorry, Harry.” And Harry smiles goodnaturedly; they hug goodbye, and Remus Floos out of here. Harry turns to me.

“You were listening, weren’t you, you little Slytherin?” He takes me in his arms with a knowing, insufferable smirk. Bloody hell! Have I lost my touch??? Does EVERYONE know??? When did THEY become attuned to what Slytherins do? They’re Gryffindors, for crying out loud!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I try to protest, which causes him to throw his head back and laugh. I can’t help myself as I lean forward to take advantage of his exposed throat.

“Like hell you don’t,” his voice suddenly turns husky, and I can feel a slight pulsing begin to push at my groin area. I know what he wants. “I know you love to read and all, and you can probably even rival Hermione in how many books you’ve each read and remembered…but I happen to know for a fact that you can’t read upside-down.”

Damn! All of my careful planning, and then I hold the fucking book upside-down! Not only that…but my Gryffindor boyfriend notices! He chuckles as he leans in to kiss my pouting lips again.

Let go, Remus said. Let go of the past. Let go of my father and everything he did to me. Embrace Harry and his unconditional love, of which I am absolutely not worthy but desperately glad that he offers it anyway. Alright, Remus, here’s the first step. It’s a very scary thing, being vulnerable in front of everyone, including those you don’t trust. I trust Harry more than anyone in this world, and he has been very gentle with me…the real me…under the mask. He’s seen the mask, cracked it, shattered it, broken it, put it back together…and now it’s time to see what happens when I let go of the mask.
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Author's note--It's "The End" for now. If there is a need for "what happens" then you can be sure I'll write it and post it. Thanks again for walking with me through this! And (don't forget) if you need a little "something more"...go check out "Cheating Boyfriends, Faithful Husbands"! *wink*

paigeey07--Thanks for your review!

sunset20--YAY! I'm really glad you liked, and I'm SO GLAD you joined The Coven!!! *happy dance* I've missed you, though...come back to us soon! *crosses fingers* Hope your exams are going well!

ScorpioPhoenix--*hugs* Therapeutic indeed! Thanks for reviewing! We'll see if it needs to be continued. Right now, I feel like it's at a natural closing point, but "open" enough that it'll be here for me if I need to vent more in the future.

thrnbrooke--I guess it's only fitting that you are the last review I reply to at the end of the last (for now) chapter. Thanks for sticking with me this far! I really, really appreciate your reviews, and I hope you know that. *hugs* You rock!

I love all of you guys! *sniffle* Okay, enough with the mush! Go read something happy now! *cough*

Graballz OUT!