Without You

As Harry unpacked his trunk two weeks later in the Dormitories he almost had to laugh. Had he really thought that two weeks away from school would help him clear his head? The truth of the matter was he was even more confused then before, slightly disgusted and completely disillusioned. The surprising thing was most of this had accrued during his weekend stay with the Weasleys.

His internship as an Auror had gone much as he had expected, he had been greeted with the usual fawning from adults. Which had turned to true admiration as the weeks wore on. Harry was not adverse to hard work and proving himself, he also knew a lot more then most wizards his age. Impressing them had not been a challenge, and that part of the internship had been fun. They had worked him hard and he had welcomed it, after all that had happened at the Weasleys throwing himself into work had been the answer. Now that he was back at school he was fast discovering it was only a temporary escape.

Now he no longer had work to distract him, all he could dwell on was two of the best and worst days of his life.

(Two weeks Before)

"Harry, Ron its noon!"

Harry tried his best to Ignore the voice of Hermione Granger so early in the morning. Not that it was truly early, it was more that he had gone to bed too late and was attempting to get up too soon. Yesterday had been a day of reunion, of seeing old friends and reconnecting with family. Mrs Weasley upon seeing her son had crushed him into a chocking bear hug. Fred and George had then preceded to thump him on the back so hard he nearly went sprawling into the dirt.

Harry was glad to see those two, the air of desperation and gloom hanging around him could hopefully be banished in the light of the twins antics. He hoped so anyway. When they had arrived back at the burrow they had been surprised by Bills presence, along with his new wife Fleur. She was several months pregnant and glowing with obvious pride. She greeted Harry with a smile and a hug which he returned rather fondly. Ron who usually blushed and turned into a ninny around her surprisingly greeted her with no more effort then greeting any of his siblings. Harry thought he knew where this sudden confidence had come from.

Ron seemed less and less enthralled, mystified, and interested in the opposite sex. Harry would have feared for his sexuality but come on, it was Ron! He wasn't gay, although with whatever was going around Harry wasn't quite so sure of even that anymore; he just seemed to have lost interest in having a relationship. Which resulted in his having no reason to be nervous around females.

You know Ron's a good looking bloke, he certainly is tall enough and he's got some meat on him. Not chunky or anything. And when he's not blundering around he's right fair to look at.

Harry closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, if he could take a shotgun to his head he would.

Thankfully he didn't have too much time to dwell on his own troubles, and growing tendency to look at the males around him with other then a friendly eye. Mrs. Weasley had bustled them all home and immediately brought together a feast to rival even that of Hogwarts.

They had eaten heartily and happily but even here Harry was noticing some changes. Mrs. Weasley had always treated him like a son. Now it was glaringly obvious she wanted him to become her son. In the first half hour of the meal Harry listened to more selling pitches and seemingly casual comments about Ginny then he'd ever heard her speak in years. At first it was amusing and actually a little thought provoking, he did dream about Ginny after all. She made him laugh, he liked talking with her, and her presence even the thought of her was oddly comforting. He liked Ginny, he enjoyed her company and even enjoyed her spars with Ron.

It made sense, he knew that he would have no problem kissing her. He was a male and a rather randy one at that. He wasn't shy or inexperienced anymore and Ginny had a rather bold nature that if he thought long and hard on it bode well for any relationship she got into. A guy would be lucky to have a beautiful smart and passionate woman in his life. Except when he pictured kissing Ginny he had an inkling of how it would start.

At first there would be the thrill of the chase and when he finally got the prize there would be elation maybe even that fist spark of passion. Then as time went on things would mellow out to pleasant, a kiss especially a good one was never boring it would just be...lacking. Like when he kissed Pravati, lately he looked forward to doing just that less and less. He was a little annoyed at her clingyness and had actually tried to avoid saying good bye to her; knowing she would cling to him and kiss him like she'd never see him again.

Dating Ginny would be pleasant, enjoyable and maybe even a little fun. He could be content dating her, his life would be one easy road that he would just meander down at an easy pace.

Not at all like the out of control roller coaster of passion Malfoys kiss gave you is it Harry.

"I'VE JUST ABOUT HAD IT! I AM NOT GAY!" He clenched his fist and slammed his fork down on the table.


Damn.

He glanced around him in mortification, everyone was staring at him like he was some sort of loon. The twins were eyeing him with speculation and amusement.

"Uh...no one said you were mate?" Ron assured him carefully like he was trying to soothe some rabid beast.

Harry suddenly became extremely interested in his potatoes and shoved as much into his mouth as possible. His outburst was eventually forgotten as chatter resumed and the subject moved on, the youth stayed up long into the night, even after Arthur and Molly had gone to bed. After checking to make sure his parents were sound asleep Fred had produced bottles of Fire Whisky and Butter Brew. Butter Brew; where Butter Beer was a completely virgin drink, was considerably more alcoholic. Harry not much of a drinker by nature had been content to sip at a bottle of the brew. Unfortunately even that one bottle had seemed enough to give him a dull headache upon awaking this morning.

"Go away Mione" He mumbled into his pillow turning over. Maybe if he angled his head just right his headache would go away.

"Oh honestly Harry, I told you this would happen if you drank. Its bad enough drinking so young but if you were going to...."

Harry let her voice fade into one ear and out the other, his brain trapped in a haze of not nearly enough sleep and too much alcohol. He groaned, sleep last night had not been about sleep. He had dreamed of moonlight and a mysterious man with pale skin like pearls, satin bedsheets and a whole lot of steam. Sweaty limbs twined together and the contrast of Blond and Raven lochs had left him more then slightly agitated and his body overly warm. Not a happy sign for a man with a girlfriend he thought to himself. How satisfied with Pravarti could he be if first trees and a woman without shape or face could stir him, and now naked blond haired men!

He clutched his head and moaned in desperation. It has to be in the water or something. It's a fuckin disease and somehow you've gotten infected. All you need to do is find a girl and shagg yourself into oblivion. Whatever the hell this new found itch is all about just get rid of it!"

"Don't moan Harry, it's your own fault you know..."

"Hermione if you don't bloody shut your trap, I'm going too heave."Ron snapped at Hermione, turning over restlessly in his own bed. His red hair was askew and falling all over his face. His chest was bare; and rather firmly muscled Harry noted, his arms were also flopped around the bed listlessly. Always wanting to be one step ahead of his brothers he had been goaded by a grinning Fred and George into drinking bottle after bottle last night. Harry did not envy the headache he must have.

Although he looked delectable with that tall athletic build displayed for the world to see, Harry was in no mood to play with fire. He was extremely pissed!

"RON GET A BLOODY SHIRT ON!" He grumbled, he as probably angrier with himself with Ron but he needed to strike at something.

"What's your deal Harry!" Ron grumbled back not bothering to even open his eyes. He instead clutched his head as if the act of speaking was a form of torture.

"We had plans for today! Have you two gone and ruined them by drinking yourselves silly?" Hermione crossed the room to demand of him.

Ron stared bleary up at the wavering image of Hermione. She was dressed in muggel jeans and some sort of frothy top that in his mind was no more substancel then sea foam. Her harping resonated through his head like a firing squad. "What are you wearing anyway, my mums gonna have a fit. What are you about coming in here half dressed anyway." he demanded.

She stiffened and gave him her usual disparaging glance, as if his intelligence was lacking and she could just barely tolerate his presence.

"For your information, your mum has already seen me! And it's muggel clothing I wear them at home all the time! And if you're going to the movies with me like you promised you'll wear them too!" Hermione admonished in a cold tone before marching from the room. Ron turned to Harry as if to ask what he had said that was so terrible. Harry sighed and tossed his pillow at Ron. He may not be the smartest when it came to women, but when it came to them Ron made him look like Romeo.

___________________

After a rather late, but relaxed breakfast in which Mrs Weasly continued to gush over Ron, Hermione and Harry in turn. When passing Harry a plate of steaming eggs and a morning pastie she had remarked glowingly on how handsome both boys had grown. To which Fred and George had snorted gleefully into their honeyed porridge.

"Oh yeah Ron's a handsome Devil alright, At least nine feet tall a mop of carrot hair and one giant freckle. Sounds like a girls fantasy alright." Fred smirked. He received a dark scowl from Ron and a swat on the head from Mrs Weasley's morning paper.

Hermione gave the twins her best whithering look and momentarily forgetting she was still angry with Ron over his remark about her top, she leaped to his defense. "Ron is hardly nine feet tall. And his hair isn't carroty at all. Carrots are orange, Fred not dark red. And He only gets freckles from the sun and their hardly disfiguring." And as if that settle the matter Hermione daintily took a bite of a pastie.

Harry fought back a snort of laughter, not very well I might add; at Ron's dumbfounded stare in Hermione's direction. When he turned to her a most odd expression on his face and quipped, "You don't think I'm plain then?" Harry sprayed a stream of milk across his chin in an effort to hold back from hoots of laughter. Hermione shot him and the twins another withering glance. Mrs Weasley chuckled, a secretive and rather soft smile on her face, she smoothed Ron's dark red hair with a loving palm.

"Course she doesn't think your plain Ron. I'll admit you were right skinny and tall for a while. Made my friends think I didn't ever feed you. But you have gotten some meat on your bones from all that quidditch playing. And your hair was rather orange when you were younger but its a very nice colour now. What would you call that Hermione?” Mrs Weasley asked a soft gleam entering her eyes to match the soft smile.

Hermione stared at Ron as if considering some sort of mathematical equation. Ron turned bright red under her scrutiny and fidgeted in his chair. When she finally began to speak Ron leaped to almost hopeful attention.

“its rather like a lighter Auburn, isn't it? Not quite as dark as Bills but not as light as the Twins and charlies. Rather the colour of heated bricks don't you think Mrs Weasley.” She inquired of the older woman who nodded her agreement. Ron however seemed disappointed with this answer, and turned away from Hermione in disgust grumbling something under his breath about foamy tops and the girls who wore them.

Hermione seemed very satisfied and Harry new this was punishment for Ron's earlier remark. She hadn't forgotten after all. Fred who was closest to Ron could apparently make out most of what he was muttering for he let out a hoot of laughter. And grinned over at his twin.

“you hear that George, Ron doesn't like Girls! I knew it always knew he was a bender. So who's the lucky bloke eh? Cant be Harry seeing as Pravati had her lips leached to his neck yesterday at the station.”

Both boys went into peals of laughter and Ron turned a furious red. his fist clenched around his spoon and Harry felt sure it would snap any second now.

“I said I cant stand girls! Not that I wasn't attracted to them! And I’m not a bender!” Ron shouted across the table. To which George snickered and replied.

“Oh yes because you have a stream of girlfriends to choose from”

“I have bloody girlfriends. I’m just not a bloody glutton like you two. Think mum would like to know about the people you two bring up to your-”

“Shut up Ronikens or your going to get a thrashing hear?”

“Yeah don't think your to old for us to pound you into the dust”

While Harry watched as the brothers shouted back and forth over the table, Hermione opened her mouth to intervene but was cut off by Mrs Weasley.

“That's hardly funny you two, and If I hear such talk in my Kitchen again I'll throw the lot of you out on your ears! And just where are you two bringing women; besides to meet your Mother!”

Harry watched as George and Fred glanced at each other, thier was an odd glint of amusment in both thier eyes. As if they were sharing some joke the rest of them wouldn't get. This didn't please their mother, who went into one of her rages. Harry gestuurd to Ron and Hermione that they should leave before she picked up steam. As they reached their rooms they could hear Mrs Weasleys voice rising above the floorboards.

“I DONT CARE IF YOUR THIRTY GOERGE WEASLEY! IF I HEAR YOUR BRINGING WOMEN TO THAT APARTMENT OF YOURS I”LL BURN THE PLACE DOWN. AND YOU’LL BE RIGHT BACK IN THIS HOUSE BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK!”
___________

Fleur's parents were in town for the expected arrival of the baby so Bill, Fleur. Mr. and Mrs Weasley went to visit them for the evening. Hermione invited the twins along but they declined saying they were meeting an old friend at their apartment.

Harry tried to enjoy the movie he really did, there was a lot to enjoy. He had never been allowed to go to the movies as a kid when he lived with the Dursleys so this was his first time. It was Ron's first time as well and he appeared fascinated by the rapid colors and moving pictures. Harry couldn't even have told you what the movie was about half way through.

You need to do some deep, deep thinking! Pravati just isn't satisfying you, you don't love her. You need to break things off and you need to do it now because your getting so desperate that anyone even your best friend looks good in comparison!

Thoughts like this swirled around in his head accompanied by echos of Mrs Weasleys less then subtle bid for Harry dating her daughter.

Go out with Ginny you like her.

Like not love.

You love her.

Yeah like a little sister she's a cute kid.

Hardly a little girl anymore last summer, the lake proved that.

ok so she's a beautiful woman! So is Pravati, enough said!

She comforts you.

A sister would.

She makes you laugh.

Yeah so do Ron and Hermione and heaven knows that's not happening.

How about you just shagg Malfoy then, if your so picky about everyone else!

He needed a walk! He shoved out of his sceet ignoring his two best friends hissed questions about his destination. "I'll see you back at the burrow" He mumbled in reply and kept going. He was going crazy, he must be mental. That had to be it. He was not attracted to men, it was impossible that one disgusting, vile kiss could arouse in him some randy monster with a desire for male flesh.

He absolutely did not look at his best friend and note that he was a prime piece. He did not suddenly feel terrible for treating Seamus so harshly because he now found himself in a similar position. And he certainly did not look on sex between males as anything other then base, crude and disgusting! What he needed is to shake off whatever spell that tricky bastard had cast on him, he could think of no other reason he was unable to forget that kiss and his body seemed to be demanding another. And it didn't seem to care which of the males in his acquaintance it came from. It hungered for that blazing out of control fire again, it sought it anyway it could.

He felt himself stiffen and an ache form in the lower portions of his body.

Shit. He needed some sort of distraction, and he needed it fast! He immediately thought of the twins, if anyone could pull him out of gloom it was then. He knew they had a guest over but he hoped the wouldn't mind.

He walked so fast to diagon Alley that he barely registered the streets he was passing. His head was once again battling with itself, the argument had grown exceedingly heated.

Why are you running it was just a kiss. And a Damn good one, its only natural to obsess over a kiss like that.

Not from another man!

Yeah, well what kiss were you a part of. I could really care less who kissed me as long as it felt like that.

It has to some sort of curse!

He didn't even have a wand.

A potion then!

Yeah so you drank this when?

Maybe the potion was in his chapstick or something.

His lips tasted so damn good I wouldn't even doubt that.

DAMN IT!

Harry stomped up the back steps of Fred and Georges joke shop. He didn't know whether he was trying to stomp the steps to pieces or shatter the arousal swimming through his body. He was ready to throw himself from a roof top. He hated Malfoy! he was an evil sadistic moron! At the end of this year he would no doubt be dancing in graveyards with the other death eaters. In the coming fight with Voldemort he would more then likely have to fight Malfoy face to face.

Desire was the last thing he needed to feel towards any man, that one in particular! When he reached the door to their apartment he was surprised to see a Hailstar propped up outside the door. That broom was expensive and new and not on the market for regular consumers. A professional Quidditch player was visiting the twins?

Oliver Wood! Harry felt a trill of excitement go through him at the prospect of seeing his friend and old captain again. The door was unlocked and he didn't bother knocking.

He should have then maybe his world and his perception of the people he loved wouldn't have come falling down on his ears.

Fred was no where in sight but he could see George. His tall lanky frame was pressed up against the far wall, Harry marveled for a moment at how fair his skin was and how laid bare like that it made his red hair appear like flame. His chest was laid bare, his long muscled legs spread wide because the man pressing him against the wall had one pant clad leg pressing between his thighs.

His chestnut hair was sensuously messy because of the long seeking fingers digging through them. Oliver's shirt was on the floor near their feet his lean athletic muscle displayed in all its glory.

Harry stood there.

Look away !!!!!

Are you out of your mind?

A keening noise of pleasure came from one of them, most likely George because Oliver's tongue was preoccupied with making one long erotic trail down Georges naked chest.

He stared in fascination as Georges long elegant fingers reached down to work on the clasp of Oliver's pants. He couldn't breath, the heat in the room was stifling him.

He tried desperately to fight the haze and to catch his breath, he had to bite back a moan of pain as his already semi aroused state went out of control.

Then hands were grabbing him from behind and pulling him away from the door. He yelped but a hand came around his mouth to cut off the sound. Whoever had grabbed him reached out to shut the door before they could disturb the couple in the apartment. Harry recognised those hands and relaxed a little.

Fred let him go and grinned at him, "Don't disturb them. They haven't been together in ages and George has been looking forward to this." He admonished.

Harry leaned against the wall of the hallway panting, he glared at Fred. "Just what the hell were they doing?" He demanded. He was half hoping that Fred would say it was some exotic new experiment with lip balm or something but that didn't even make sense.

"Well having sex, couldn't you tell?" Fred replied arching one eyebrow.

Well that was blunt, Harry blinked up at him. "But...why?" Was all he could manage.

Fred rolled his eyes, "Because they Desire each other why else. Well I suspect George might love Oliver. But Oliver thinks he's in love with Katie so only comes to George when things go wrong there. George likes to pretend its just sex but I know him too well. I did warn him that he'll only get hurt but he insists this time it will be diffrent."

And apparently he didn't know them at all. "So you're both gay? Is EVERYONE GAY?" He seethed.

Fred eyed him eyes twinkling, " If you mean do I have sex with men well then I guess that makes me gay. But I have sex with women to Harry so what does that make me?"

"Deranged..." Harry muttered his mind unable to grasp such a concept.

Fred shrugged, "I think it just means I find beauty or desirability in everyone. I can look at a female and see what makes her beautiful, I can look at a male and see his good points too. If I want something I go for it, none of this dithering around."

"But you...cant there's...." Harry tried to explain.

Fred waved his words away with a cocky grin, "Rules of behavior? Yeah I know them. Men with Women, the natural order of things. Who made those rules? Man did, and since when have I ever followed the rules someone else makes?"

He had a point there, the twins rarely followed the rules why should the rules on sex and love be any different.

"I saw you watching Harry it's no use pretending to be disgusted, they look good together. I'm sacrificing a wonderful show standing out here trying to get you to just shagg Malfoy.

Harry's breathing had just gotten back to normal back to normal when Fred said those words it leaped back into his throat. Harry scrambled away from him like he'd been burned. "WHAT?"

Fred sighed as if he was being forced to reason with a child, "That's what this is all about isn't it? I have to admit it took you longer then I thought. George won the bet, I thought one of you would make a move fith year tops. That sexual tension between you is really too strong for either of you to ignore for long."

Not hate, Sexual tension.

Could that possibly be what all that heat and pull between he and Malfoy really was.

"My guess is Malfoy made a move, I was right that it would be him first at least, and now your balking like a scared little boy. Well that's fine, you are entitled a few days for shock and denial. But if you balk too long you'll loose your chance. Look at Granger, she's in Love with Ron but she's waited to long he's moving on without either of them even realising it." Fred cautioned.

Harry had stumbled away from the shop and the apartment above it without even noticing where he was going. Fred couldn't be right, he just couldn't.

It wasn't any sexual feelings that drove him and Malfoy to do violence against one another. It was rivalry and hatred. Malfoy couldn't stand him and he couldn't stand Malfoy. That kiss was just a way to get under his skin, and it had worked. Malfoy did not desire him anymore then he desired Malfoy.

You're an idiot I'm not even going to argue with you anymore.

He was talking to himself! Even if only in his head this was ridiculous. He had gone back to the Weasleys and prayed for comfort.

He had found himself in Ginny's room. He lay down on her bed and imagined what she would say if she were here. She was always so confident in his ability to handle things. She believed in him unfailingly.

A smile spread on his lips as he drifted off to sleep, imagining her laugh and the way she always made him happy and safe. Safe, he felt so safe with her. He fell asleep and dreamed of moonlight and trees and a woman dancing in their midst.

He liked feeling safe.
___________

The next afternoon, Harry had found himself in the Weasleys back yard broom in the air and facing down a slightly slap happy George who was holding a thick beaters bat. Fred was swiveling in circles around Ron. Harry felt for sure that Fred need hardly beat the bludger at his little brother with such force, but the twins still seamed quit a bit miffed at him for revealing their private life to their mother. Whom Harry had learned had stopped by their apartment last night, no doubt in the hopes that she would catch them in the act of bringing women to the apartment. She had nearly caught George with Oliver. It had been a close thing and the Twins were miffed with Ron for instigating the crisis in the first place. Hermione, who wobbled slightly unsteady on her own broom was making goal after goal in Fred and Georges hoop.

Which in itself was a sign that Fred and George were a bit preoccupied. Brooms and Hermione were notoriously not fond of one another. Hermione could fly, probably better then Neville but just barely. It took a lot of pleading and goading to get her in the air, but they had needed her. It was two on three until Seamus,Dean and Neville got here. It was to be the last evening they would spend together for the next two weeks.

When Fred ignored Hermione flying past him at a snails pace to score an easy ten points, in order to try and smash a bludger into Ron's face forcing Ron to go into a rather spectacular nose dive. Harry called a halt to the game.

“Harry we were winning, and I was really getting into the game. Did you see me!” Hermione gushed a high bloom of colour was on her cheeks and her eyes fairly sparkled. Harry felt slightly guilty for calling a halt but his attitude changed abruptly when he spied Ron weaving in the air. It appeared that although he had dodged that last Bludger somewhere during the game one had caught him full in the face. His nose was bent awkwardly and it was bleeding freely down his face.

He felt a bolt of anger sizzle some where deep inside him, a bludger to the face could have killed Ron. He zoomed forward to confront the twins who looked worriedly at their little brother who was weaving back and forth trying to land. Hermione finally noticing Ron's condition blanched and rounded on Fred and George in a fury worthy of Mrs Weasley.

“....YOU MORONIC....NEVER SEEN SUCH...HE COULD HAVE DIED!”

Her anger was apparently halting her ability to articulate, and her ability to fly because her broom was shuddering and shying much like a horse which she was fast loosing control of. Her hair not as bushy as in her youth but quite naturally wavy stood stark tall on her forehead as if a shot of electricity had gone through it. Her eyes normally a warm brown might as well have become a glowing red for all the heat seen in them now.

The twins glanced at each other rather fearfully as she continued to advance on them. Even Ron the injured party was staring at her with a rather frightened air. Harry just stared at her in shock. He had seen such anger in her only once before, in their third year when she had reerd back and clocked malfoy in the nose after three years of teasing. He continued to mock and jeer as was his nature but at a safe distance.

“Hermione, calm down. Its not that bad I'm fine really.” Ron tried to assure her, rather unsuccessfully being that blood was running into his mouth causing him to have to spit in mid sentence.

"No your not Ronald! You could have died, I don't like you being hurt... I ..." She halted turning red.

Hermione and Ron stared at each other, Hermione's heart was in her eyes. She looked like she was willing him to understand how she felt. Ron stared at her. There wasn't any revelation of feeling, but he did take her hand and give it a squeeze. "Come on you can help my mum with a healing potion." He offered softly.

Harry expected things to change between them then, everyone knew Hermione liked him more then as friends and everyone could see that Ron had figured it out. Instead of becoming a couple as everyone expected they sank back into the same old routine. Snipping at each other and letting the tension between them escalate.

Tension. The tension at the table that night could have melted butter. Seamus tried talking to Dean, when he only got stiff expressionless replies he drew inward. Neville was trying to get the two of them back on even ground which only got both of them mad at him. Hermione seemed hurt that Ron had not returned her feelings and their usual digs at each other were escalated to an almost blood bath. Cedric and Cho had stopped by along with Oliver, although he was happy to see Cedric and catch up with him his first thought on seeing him was that Cedric was extremely sexy and he hated Cho for being on his arm.

This of course put a damper on his own mood, causing him to snap at whomever even tried to talk to him. Oliver had gotten a call from Katie and when Mrs Weasley asked he's happily announced that he and Katie had worked out their problem. Harry had watched the smile slip from Georges face, he didn't slip into moody silence like Seamus. No his smile became brighter his teasing more boisterous and he ribbed on on Ron and the others with more fervor then Harry had ever seen him.

He was hurt. Harry realised that suddenly, he was hiding it with his usual good cheer but it seemed kind of brittle. He drank so many Butter Brews that Fred had taken his seventh bottle away and glared at Oliver. The tension between those two had escalated as Fred retaliation for his twin with relish. Harry had feared the two would come to blows.

All in all his last meal, a meal supposed to be one of happiness and reunion had been an utter disaster. Ron had gotten so angry after a veiled comment Hermione had made about his manhood that He had slammed his fork down and stomped away saying he was glad he wouldn't have to see her for two weeks, and that he was going bed so he didn't have to see her the rest of the night. When Mrs weasley had tried to Salvage the meal by asking Oliver if he and Katie had set a wedding date. George had flinched and hastened out of his chair knocking it backwards. He was still smiling, a wobbly smile that didn't reach his eyes and Harry suspected he was going to cry. He made a hasty excuse and fled the house.

Fred had risen from his own chair and simply said to Oliver, "You're either blind or a Bastard Wood! I don't like either! Stay the hell away from him now on hear me, I never should have let you anywhere near him" He had slammed out of the house after his brother.

Seamus stared at the door they had departed through then Oliver with surprise, Harry knew unlike the confused Weasleys remaining at the table he had made sense of that remark. Oliver looked pained and near tears himself he made his opologies to Mrs. Weasley and left the house.

Dean had pushed out of his own chair, "There's too much male bonding in this house. Thanks for dinner Mrs Weasley I have to go."

Seamus had flinched but said nothing as he watched him get up to leave. Harry had really had enough. He stood up and grabbed Deans shoulder turning him around.

"Whats your deal Dean? So you don't agree with him, he's still your best friend why..."

"Was! Was my best friend. I don't know who he is anymore!" Dean interrupted heatedly jerking his arm free of Harry's hold. He glanced around the table the anger leaving his eyes to be replaced by sadness and desperation.

" Hell don't even know who I am anymore. I'll see you back at school Harry." he grabbed his cloak and had left. Seamus had left soon after and Neville had sighed and decided to follow. Harry had gone to bed alone and dejected. The next day Sirius had come to pick him up, he'd received a sad and strained good bye from The Weasleys. Hermione had hugged him but it had been stiff and angry, she absolutely refused to look at Ron or even acknowledge he existed.

Ron had tried to say good by to her but it was like talking to a wall. He gave up and gave Harry a hug and a slap on the back instead. "See you in two mate?" He'd asked.

"See you in two." Harry had replied.

(Present Day.)

Harry sighed slamming his trunk shut. It was Sunday the 20th of May. In two weeks they would graduate. Was that time for Hermione and Ron to repair their relationship, if they didn't what would happen? Would the trio they had always been be broken? Why hadn't Ron just returned Hermione's feelings, had he moved on during the last few years and not realised it until forced to make a choice like Fred thought. Why wasn't Ron interested in dating like everyone else in their year. Why couldn't he get Malfoy out of his head?

Why was everything changing so fast.

"Harry Your Back!" came an excited cry as Harry entered the Gryffindor common room. Ginny was siting on a couch reading a newspaper. Sighting him her eyes lit up and she scrambled off the cushions to run to his side. She really was beautiful and barefoot as she was with her eyes sparkling with joy at seeing him it spread a warm glow in his chest. He wanted to hug her, pat her head, talk to her give her a gift.

He wanted to sit and laugh with her and hear about her life and her latest boyfriend. He wanted the comfort she brought and that sense of happiness he always got around her. He wanted someone to chase away the gloom.

"Harry did you hear about Malfoy he Never showed up for His internship at the Ministry. His mothers just put out an Alert this morning. She got an owl yesterday from them saying they were Sorry about his great aunts death and understood about family coming first. Draco's great Aunt has been dead for years! His trust fund has been emptied no one's even seen him in London for weeks! No one knows where he is!" Ginny chartered breathlessly.

Harry stood there staring at her.

He should feel joy, or boredom. Malfoy was gone, he should be dancing a jig.

Instead he suddenly felt hollow like he had lost something vital to him. He felt like he had been so close only to trip before the finish line. It was deep and it was frightening.

He shouldn't feel that way, He shouldn't! He hated this feeling he hated it with all that was in him! He did not want to feel anything for Malfoy!

Comfort. Peace. Happiness. Safety. Ginny represented all those things. Maybe that's why in the middle of the common room in front of everyone he grabbed her hand and Kissed her.

Kissed her like a man drowning, desperate to save himself from the deep and dark depths of the unknown. He clung to her like she was a raft in the deep tossing ocean that had become his soul. He ravished her mouth seeking the comfort she always gave him.

Her arms wrapped around him and when the kiss broke she was blinking up at him in shock and...Love.

Ginny Weasley loved, she him always had.

That made him feel safe. It grounded him, gave him a sense of purpose in a world that had always spun out of his control.