Beleaguered

I wasn’t confident, or courageous, or beautiful. I was me. I didn’t mean to be me, I just was. It’s sort of hard not to be yourself. But people learn how to mask it, and sometimes even stop being themselves. I, unfortunately never learned how. I was always a disappointment to myself. I didn’t care that I was a disappointment to everyone else, but disappointing myself ate at me. I grew to hate this me that I was. I was selfish, nothing like the princess we read about in fairytales. Those kind, beautiful idiots always disgusted me anyways. But I still wanted to be them. They were so moronic and naïve, they would never realize how those beautiful children they made came about, they were just there one day. Or how those children turned to hate them for their self-centeredness. Or how their handsome princess would sneak out in the middle of the night to have a go with the big-breasted maid, and all the bastards that resulted from those unions.



Oh but in their own eyes, the princesses believed that their lives were as perfect as we read that they were. If I could only bring myself to be so stupid, to believe such stupidity. But I was always thinking. And thinking is really a terrible thing. It makes you realize and hate…and mourn. But there are a few blissful moments when everything makes no sense but feels so good and right. I was experiencing one of those moments right now.



I was laying next to him on his bed. The covers had fallen and my chest was exposed. He played with my breasts idly. I was lying on my back and he on his side. We said nothing. I desperately wanted a cigarette. I imagine Nicole with one between her fingers. Inhaling the smoke and exhaling it. Her blue, innocent eyes glowing through the smoke, so out of place in the somewhat lonely picture. I don’t quite understand this, the smoke always suffocated me, but now I was yearning for it.



I looked at the side of the bed, to the floor. My ’virgin knickers’ left to pieces. I turned my head to look at him. He was staring at me. Those dark eyes so outstanding next to his pale complexion.



He pulled me to him and kissed me on the lips. Nothing gentle, it never was. I pulled away from, untangling his hands from my hair. I rose, feeling the wetness and tingle between my legs. I paid no attention to it, I was used to it. I walked naked across the room. I did not try to cover myself.



“You will stay with me?” I don’t think he meant to make it a question, more of a command, but it came out as a question.



“You know I can’t, we’re still in school.” I said not turning to him, looking for my clothes.



“What? Worried about your reputation?” he hissed gripping my arm too tightly. I did not hear him leave the bed.



I yanked my arm away from him. “No, and never think you can treat me like this.” I hissed right back.



He looked angry for a moment, but then gripped my arm again and pushed me to him with force, giving me a bruising kiss on the lips. I pushed him away from me and turned to take my shower. I did not bother to turn to see if he was angry. I didn’t care. I entered the shower. Hot water punished my tender skin. I felt him push me into the wall. He hoisted me up and entered me brutally. I let out a groan of protest but he continued.



The water drowned out the noise of skin against skin. But it did not drown out my own moaning and his heavy breathing. My whole body was crushed against the tile wall and I enjoyed the coolness of it against my heated flesh. I could not see him, but I imagined his beautiful form behind me. His pale hair had gotten even paler, almost white. His form had become tight and sculptured with constant training, his father strict orders of perfection. Yet I focused on his eyes. The eyes that had been a bright blue in his youth had darkened and become a stunning aquamarine.



I could not hold back the scream as a climaxed. Draco thrust into me a few more times before he, too, reached his climax. I rested against the wall as he rested against me. I tried to catch my breath. Draco pulled himself out of me. I felt every inch of his invasive length. I took a deep breath.



Draco ran the soap down my back kissing my neck again. He leathered my sides, my stomach and my breast. I did not allow him to go lower because I knew what that would result in; the wonders of youth were sometimes more a burden than wonder.



When we finished we dressed quickly. I found my trunk in his room. I turned to him confused.



“I’ve talked to the headmaster. You stay here.” He stated, daring me to challenge him. I turned away and put on my clothes. Again my life was being run by someone else, how could I not be angry. Was I to forever be at the will of someone else? Bleak, that was my future.



We exited his room and entered a beautifully decorated Head’s common room. Hermione Granger was sitting on a red love seat reading a book. When she heard us, she looked up with disdain. She gave us a little sneer and went back to her book. I had to admit, she had grown to be beautiful. I felt a pang of jealousy thinking about him in the same room with her.



Just as we were about to leave, she raised her voice and spoke, “Malfoy, I do believe that we are sharing this space, what makes you think you can bring anyone you want here?” She stood and walked over to him, her stance angry.



“Don’t worry Granger, I have permission.” Draco answered emotionlessly.



“From whom? Snape does not have that kind of authority.” She answered snippily.



“Not Snape, Dumbeldore.”



“Why would he allow that?” She asked truly surprised.



“He found it perfectly suitable for me to share chambers with my fiancée.”



“She’ll be living here permanently?” she asked, a bit of disbelief on her face. There was also anger. Interesting.



“Yes.” He turned away and led me by the small of my back. I turned my head back to see Hermione Granger angry and a little…sad? My, my. Granger had a bit of a crush.



I looked up at his face. Admired the cut of his jaw, and gave his jaw a small kiss. He looked down at me for a moment, and I could not help but smirk. Oh, I was nothing like a princess at all.





Note from Author

I do realize that Rowling never described the Malfoys as beautiful, I want them to be. This was short, but I wanted to update. I’m thinking that I might keep them shorter and update more frequently. I have no beta, and I only read over it once, so if you find mistakes, sorry. I hope you enjoy it.