ENIGMA

ENIGMA

Chapter 6-The Secret’s Out

Once the dance was over, everyone began heading back to their common rooms. Lily and James had told Sirius, Michelle, Remus and Peter that they had decided to start dating. Michelle was really happy for Lily and rushed to hug her.
James jokingly suggested that Remus ask Michelle out but that resulted in Remus suddenly getting up and leaving, stating that he wasn’t feeling well. He headed into the boys’ dorms.
Michelle watched him go, curiously and with concern.
James and Lily also headed off to their separate dorms. Peter soon followed Remus and it was now only Michelle and Sirius left alone in the common room.
Michelle was sitting on the hearth rug in front of the fireplace with her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Sirius sat next to her.
“What’s wrong, Michelle?” Sirius asked concern, seeing her troubled expression.
“I’m confused,” Michelle admitted, keeping her eyes on the fire. The orange glow reflected off their faces.
“About what?” Sirius cracked. “Your gender? I can’t help you there.”
Michelle smirked at him. “No you’re the one who’s generally confused about that area,” she cracked but then turned serious. “I’m confused about Remus.”
“What about Moony?”
Michelle sighed. “You see, I’m staring to like him as more than a best friend,” she explained looking at Sirius. “But I’m terrified to tell him because I’m not sure how he feels toward me. If I told him and he didn’t feel the same way, I’d probably lose him as a best friend. I couldn’t deal with that. I’d rather have him as a best friend then lose him altogether.”
Sirius’ expression softened. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” he said softly. “Moony would never desert someone like that because of a situation.”
Michelle gave him a smile and kept her eyes on the fireplace.
Sirius gave her a hug before getting up and heading into the boys’ dorm.

Michelle stayed there for a bit, deep in thought and didn’t realize that it was now going on midnight. She heard a noise behind her, then someone speaking.
“Couldn’t sleep huh?” a voice said from behind her.
Michelle turned around. It was Remus standing there, leaning against the door frame. She smiled.
“No,” she said honestly. “I’m got a lot on my mind.”
Remus headed over to her and sat down beside her, also drawing his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arm around them. They both stared into the fire for a bit before Remus spoke.
“Care to talk to me? It helps to unload things,” he offered kindly.
Michelle hesitated. How can I tell him with out actually TELLING him? She wondered.
Then she had an idea.
“Well,” she said quietly. “I have feelings for this ‘guy’ and I don’t know how to go about telling him. I don’t know how he feels about me.”
Remus’ heart briefly felt like it was being stepped on, but a part of him was curious to hear more about this ‘guy’ Michelle liked.
“Is he nice?” Remus asked, forcing his voice to remain light and curious.
Michelle felt herself smiling. “Oh yes,” she said nodding. “He’s wonderful, kind, caring, thoughtful and I think sometimes people misunderstand him.”
“What do you mean?” Remus asked.
From what she was describing, it sounded a lot like Severus.
“Well, he’s a bit different,” Michelle went on. “I mean really different.”
She raised her eyes to Remus’. “But it doesn’t bother me at all. I care about him only and only him.”
Remus was silent. He didn’t really know much about Severus so he really couldn’t elaborate much on him.
“I know people are probably thinking that I’m hanging out with him to evade torment, but that’s not true. I genuinely like him.” Michelle continued.
Remus forced a smile on his face. “Then I say you should just go up to him and tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t like you then you’ll know. But I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t.”
At that, Michelle realized she should take his advice. “Thanks. I think I will take your advice. Listen, meet me around the Greenhouses tomorrow after dinner. I want to tell you what happens.”
She put a hand on his arm before getting up and heading into the girls’ dorm. Remus watched her go before turning his eyes back to the fire.
Maybe Michelle likes Severus’ type…silent, mysterious etc. But wait…how would hanging out with him evade torment? That would certainly ADD to it if anything. Remus thought trying to figure out what that meant. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to translate that, he gave up and just sat there all night.

The next morning at breakfast, Remus was partially dozing off. There was a point where he slumped forward and his face almost landed in his porridge had it not been for Sirius catching him.
“Whoa mate,” James said with concern. “You look like you’ve been up all night.”
“Pretty much,” Remus replied clearing his throat and sitting upright and began eating his porridge again.
“What for?” Lily asked him. “Studying? Remus your brain is going to explode!”
Remus gave her a smile. “No I wasn’t studying,”
Sirius suddenly slapped him on the back.
“Were you giving yourself a ‘one on one’ lesson you scoundrel?” he asked with a big grin on his face.
Remus at that moment had been taking a sip of his juice and choked on it. Lily slapped him on the back and she had a worried expression on her face. Michelle let her spoon fall from her hand and it hi the edge of the bowl with a ‘clatter’.
She looked at Sirius with a horrified expression on her face.
Remus was turning a bright shade of crimson.
“No,” he snapped. “I just couldn’t sleep alright?”
James, Lily, Sirius, Peter and Michelle looked at him in surprise. They’d never hear him use that tone before. Remus just let his spoon fall and got up quickly and he began walking out of the Great Hall.
Severus watched from the Slytherin table with an amused and curious expression. He naturally had figured out that Lupin was a werewolf. He had been trying to get Michelle to put the pieces together. He wasn’t sure if she knew or not but he was going to tell her.
After breakfast, he managed to pull her aside.
“What’s up, Severus?” she asked curiously, facing him.
“I wanted to talk to you about one of your friends,” he said seriously.
“Which one? If James or Sirius did anything to you, I’ll have to talk to them,” she said firmly.
Severus smirked. “It’s Lupin I need to talk to you about.”
Michelle froze. What could he possibly want with Remus?
She forced her voice to remain polite and calm. “What about Remus?”
“Have you noticed that he is always ill just before a full moon?” Severus asked pointedly.
Michelle felt a brief surge of panic fill her chest. How does he know? Michelle regained her posture.
“I’ve noticed,” she said dismissively. “So what?”
Severus sneered. “Don’t you think that’s a bit odd? Doesn’t it fit something in the textbooks?”
“Fit what?”
“Werewolves,” Severus finished. “I have a theory that your friend Lupin is a werewolf.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Michelle scoffed, but flinched involuntarily inside. “I know him. He’s not a werewolf.”
Severus’ sneer deepened. “I thought you were smarter than that, Michelle. Your trusting your feeling toward him because you love him.”
Michelle glared at Severus.
“You shouldn’t let your feelings get in the way of the truth,” he went on.
Michelle slapped him. “How DARE you! Stay away from me and my friends and keep your preposterous theories to yourself!” she snarled angrily.
With that, Michelle headed off again.
During classes, Michelle was so steamed that she wasn’t able to concentrate on the lessons. Sirius leaned close to Michelle and whispered to her. They were sitting right next to each other.
“What’s wrong?” he asked he worriedly during History of Magic. Michelle proceeded to tell him.
“That prick,” Sirius hissed angrily pounding his fist on the table causing several nearby students to give him a reproving glare, including Lily and Remus sitting in the next aisle, but Remus had a concerned expression on his face.
He wondered what would happen when Michelle told the guy that she liked him as more than a best friend, but the other half was angry with himself. What girl would possibly love him anyway? He turns into a monster once a month. Why would a girl like him when she could have a perfectly normal guy like Sirius, James or Peter? Remus kept watching Michelle closely as she whispered something to Sirius but by her expression, Remus knew she was angry at something.

After class, Michelle and Sirius told them what Severus had told her.
“Remus told me himself,” Michelle said as they sat down on stone benches in the courtyard in front of the stone fountain. The water behind them tinkled softly. “So I would naturally never tell anyone about that. I would never betray him or you guys like that in a million years.”
It was true. Michelle would rather chew off her own foot then betray to anyone about Remus or the Marauders.
Lily had gone off to the library so luckily she wasn’t in ear shot of this as Lily didn’t know about them yet either.
James and Sirius smiled.
“We know. We trust you,” James said softly.
“Severus is a prat,” Sirius replied. “He doesn’t know when to keep his nose out of other people’s business.”
“That and he’s not getting any,” James added deadpan.
They snickered.
“I appreciate you sticking up for me like that,” Remus said quietly. “That was mighty canny of you.”
Michelle smiled. “What are friends for?”

Later on, they headed back to their classes.

After dinner, Remus headed out to the greenhouses to meet Michelle. He secretly wasn’t looking forward to this but he wanted to support her either way.
He changed out of his robe and uniform and pulled on a pair of gray sweat pants and a white tee shirt and sneakers. He left the common room and headed out of the castle and out onto the grounds.
The sky was pink tinged and the sun was setting. He honestly wanted to go back to the dorm and just read but he cared about Michelle a lot and wanted to be there for her. He actually loved her. Love was the right word too.
Remus checked his watch. It was 7:05. He leaned against the frame of the greenhouse and folded his arms over his chest.
Shortly, Michelle began making her way across the grounds. She was extremely nervous and she wasn’t sure how Remus was going to react to what she was about to tell him. She only hoped he wouldn’t laugh at her.
Remus saw Michelle approaching and realized just how pretty she was. The pink evening sky made her look almost angelic. His heart fluttered. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue tee shirt that said “Magic Rules”. The jeans and shirt hugged her body nicely. Remus smiled as she approached.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she joked beaming at him.
“Yeah,” Remus cracked. “I must have ESP huh?”
Michelle’s expression suddenly changed into something Remus caught as fear and anxiety, but the instant the look appeared it vanished just as quickly.
“Can we take a walk?” Michelle asked suddenly sounding nervous.
“Sure,” Remus said as they began walking around the perimeter of the lake. Remus glanced at Michelle sideways before returning his eye a head of them.
“Stop,” Michelle said as she gently grabbed his arm. They stopped walking and faced each other.
“Did you tell that guy how you feel?” Remus asked. “What did he say?”
Michelle broke into a grin and Remus knew that the guy liked Michelle back.
“I was just about to tell him now,” she replied.
Remus looked at her confused and Michelle suddenly found her hands interesting.
“See Remus, it’s you. I like you as more than a best friend. You’re the one I REALLY wanted to go with to the Spring Dance. Not Severus and the reason I wanted to go with you is because I really care about you…A LOT.” Michelle said softly.
Remus’ heart jolted. So she feels the same way! Just after the joy came the fear and sadness.
“But you-like me?” Remus sputtered.
Michelle nodded.
“Doesn’t me being a werewolf bother you? You said you couldn’t accept it,” Remus said shocked.
“I realized that I was wrong,” Michelle admitted. “I-I love you…for you.”
Remus was a loss for words. His dream had come true but he couldn’t be with her. He changed each month and the threat of accidentally hurting her in wolf form tortured him and he knew that if he did hurt her he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.
“I-I can’t Michelle,” he croaked out. “I’m a werewolf. If I change and hurt you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
“You won’t hurt me,” Michelle pleaded. “I don’t care.”
Remus’ heart was breaking. “But I do,” he said stepping closer to Michelle until they were almost touching. “And there’s always the threat that I could hurt you-even with the wolfsbane potion.”
Michelle’s hazel eyes began filling with tears. She began crying softly.
“I could never hurt you,” Remus whispered as he took her face in his hands, cupping her jaw with his palms and turned her face up toward his. Her eyes glistened with tears in the evening light.
“I love you too,” he whispered pressing his forehead against hers. They could feel each others’ breath on their faces. “That’s why I’m doing this. Because I love you.”
He felt an ache of disappointment in his throat. Michelle sobbed harder now. Remus gently lowered his face and his lips gently and lightly touched Michelle’s. Remus kissed her softly and gently. He released her face and took a step back. His own green eyes were filling with tears. Michelle’s heart felt like it had been ripped out and set on fire. She turned and fled back to the castle.
Remus watched her go. His own heart was breaking immensely. But the very idea of changing once a month and then possibly hurting Michelle while he was in wolf form, was enough to torture him. He began slowly walking around the lake as tears began streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t want to hurt Michelle, as that was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. Even though he knew that this was the right decision and that he’d made the right choice, still he felt as though he’d ripped off her right arm and fed it to a dragon.
Remus knew that eventually she’d understand, or at least he HOPED she’d understand.
He finished walking the perimeter of the lake and sobbing quietly, he began heading back to the common room and dorm.
He entered the boys dorm, threw himself face down on his bed and cried himself to sleep.

(AN: Thanks for reading!! Please Review!)