After the war was over

b>PART SIX - SEEKING WHAT WAS HIDDEN

Severus was determined that things would change for Draco. He would change them. After all was he not a master at Occlumency? If anyone could restore Potter’s memories, overcome brain damage then surely it would be him. It would also, he mused, allow him to do something for the young man who had been so generous the night before.

Severus could not understand Harry. He had held on to his own grudges for many years, nursed them, nurtured them. But not Harry. Oh no, he had waved his away like thistledown and Severus did not like being in anyone’s debt.
Especially not a Potter’s.

But then he reminded himself; Harry was not just a Potter was he? He was a Snape as well. Because even if he had been raised as a Muggle, Severus sneered to himself, by his cousin Petunia, he was related to Severus by blood. Severus had known that for some time now, for years and when Potter had not been around he could live with it. Be, if not happy about it, at least satisfied with the fact that he did have some family left apart from his mother.

But the blasted man just looked so much like his father, and Severus had disliked him for long enough! He would work on his resentment he promised himself, and keep working on it, perhaps if Harry met Eileen? Perhaps if Severus got to know the children? And he would definitely offer Occlumency as an option.

He had also neglected his godson for too long now he realised and Draco was suffering. Maybe there was something that they could do with his leg? Draco told them it had been broken in a fight when he lived in the Muggle world. It had had healed wrongly and had been disfigured for so long that it seemed even magic could not cure it. But perhaps there was some way? He was a Potions expert after all.

Maybe the Lenoir Foundation would require additional Potions research and Severus could enlist Draco to help him more often than he did now? They were very generous with funding and Draco could undoubtedly use the extra money. That would help Severus thought. Let the boy utilise some of his outstanding talent in Potions, that would remind him how able he was in a way that Hagrid’s old post did not. There were indeed some interesting possibilities he told himself, he had left Draco to recover on his own for long enough.

And maybe he could get to meet that Iona woman properly? He had initially thought that she was Harry’s wife, but Draco had told him that she had died several years earlier, and of course now that Severus thought about it he realised that Iona had been somewhat older than Harry. There were laughter lines around her eyes for a start and a touch more grey than the average thirty-year-old woman tended to. Perhaps he would run into her later?

So, tired, but filled with a new determination to get things sorted out for both the young men that he now felt somewhat responsible for, Severus Snape went in search of a late breakfast in a fairly equitable mood.


***************************************


Draco on the other hand was not having a good day. He was still stiff from his uncomfortable night on the sofa. He had left that morning without seeing Severus again as the man had still been asleep when he had had to get up to feed the animals. Severus had been really rambling by the time Draco had finally gotten him to sleep. Draco had known at the time that the whisky had been a mistake, but Severus had insisted. Draco just knew that Severus would be grumpy later on which did not bode well for the brewing they had to do later.

And Harry’s children were there again.

They had taken to following him around. It had all started just a couple of days earlier. Harry was inundated with visitors all the time these days. There were crowds at the gates and Daily Prophet reporters hanging around waiting for a glimpse of the Chosen One, The Saviour, as he was now known. Most of the visitors so far had been friends, those sympathetic to Harry but today the Minister himself planned to come for a visit after apparently receiving no answer to his owls. The interest showed no signs whatsoever of dying down and Harry had been at Hogwarts for four days now. It was Draco’s job to keep the uninvited out and this was proving ever more difficult as their numbers increased.

The first time he had seen the children they had come up to him en masse and had asked him whether he were an elf. Draco had realised that he did look a bit down at heel these days but was surprised and shocked to be taken for a house elf, maybe Harry’s children had not met any yet and just assumed that that was what he was?

“No,” he had answered politely, mustering his dignity as best he could, because after all these were Harry’s children and he did not want to be cross with them. “I am Draco Malfoy Keeper of Keys, here at Hogwarts pleased to meet you all,” he said formally holding out his hand. The children looked at each other and giggled and took it in turns to solemnly shake hands with him. There were five of them in all. Ranging from the red haired child whom Draco had seen on the first day whose name was Flora, to a very small boy who must have been the image of his father at that age whose name was Finn.

“I fink you look like an elf.” Said the smallest girl (who was apparently called Caitriona) shyly “I fink you are Legolas, you are so beautiful.”

Draco was astonished. He was probably one of the very few pure born wizards in the world who even knew what the children were talking about. He was rather fond of the Lord of the Rings films himself and remembered one particular occasion when he had managed to stay out of the rain and cold for a whole day tucked away at the back of the cinema whilst Peter Jackson spun a very special kind of magic for his audience and Draco at least had been spell bound. He had been living rough when he saw the films and the story and magnificent filming had for a while reminded him of what he had once been and had truly made him feel happy for a while.

So he crouched down to look kindly at the child “You think I look like Legolas do you? That’s very kind of you but I am not as handsome or as graceful as he is.”

“Yes you are,” said the little girl hotly, tossing back her own blonde locks as she spoke, “You are the most beautifullest elf in the whole world.” And she reached out a small hand to gently stroke his hair. “Will you be our elf?”
Draco felt tears pick the back of his eyes.

“That is very sweet of you to say Caitriona,” Draco said in a tight voice. “I thank you for your kindness milady.” And he graciously bowed his head to her making her giggle again.

“Its not just Caitie that thinks that,” put in the eldest boy, “we all do. Flora saw you first, but she said she would share you with us. Will you be our friend?” And as he said that the third boy, who was so like his sister Caitie in size and looks that Draco wondered if he might be a twin put his little hand in Draco’s and squeezed his finger tightly

“Pwease?” He asked smiling up a gappy smile.

“Of course I will,” said Draco, “as long as Granny and Daddy don’t mind that is.”

“Oh they won’t,” said Flora, “I know they won’t. If they say yes can we come back and help you?”

Apparently they did say yes because the children had returned within the hour running and skipping towards him insisting on helping lay out the hay for the Thestrals and weeding the pumpkin patch with more enthusiasm than skill. But from then onwards, despite his protests, they had refused to call him anything but Legolas.

Today though he had too much to do to be able to play with children, so he turned apologetically to Flora,

“I am sorry my dear children” he said, “but I am really busy, the Minister for Magic is coming later and the grounds really need a bit of tidying up and the animals all need feeding before he gets here.”

“Oh we know about him,” said Flora confidentially. “Dad calls him a pompous old wind bag! But don’t tell anyone I told you as Granny says that we’re not to be rude about grown ups, even when they are pompous.

“ We probably have to go and meet him too as Dad keeps introducing us to all these folk and we’re getting a bit tired of it all to be honest!” I mean some of them are nice or funny like Ginger Bear’s brothers but some of them are really boring and will keep on giving us kisses and things and saying how much I look like my Granny Lily!” She looked thoroughly indignant and Draco had to bite his lip not to laugh.

“And how much me and Finn look like my Dad!” Said Rory rolling his eyes

“And how very pretty Calum and Caitie are.” Flora said. “But you do look a bit tired today Legolas.” She continued, looking closely at him, “so I am going to take you inside and make you a nice cup of tea, whilst the others get started on feeding the animals.”

And without more ado, she did.


***************************************


After breakfast Severus went to search for, well anyone really. He felt rather strange after the night before. The thought that Ron or that Iona had seen him so upset made him cringe inside. Severus had fought long and hard thoughout his life to retain his barriers, that was how he had finally managed to push Lily away. He was a proudly independent man; he had distanced himself from almost everyone and would far rather be alone than be pitied. Only two people had ever really seen through his façade before, one had been Eileen, who could always read her son’s moods and the other, why the other was Albus. Father figure, mentor, master manipulator, Severus could never hide anything from him.

In the past he would have avoided those present the previous evening or been deliberately nasty in order to push them away, but he found he couldn’t quite do that now. He probably could have with Iona, and although he quite liked her he would undoubtedly be rather frosty in demeanour towards her for the immediate future at least. But with Ron, Severus found he could not quite bear to lose his friendship, not now. He had come to care for the young Weasley couple almost as much as he cared for Draco, so it was a rather subdued Severus that joined Hermione and Iona in the staff room sometime later.

“Hi Severus, how are you?” Hermione asked kindly

“Fine thank you Mrs Weasley, “Never better in fact,” Severus answered formally

“Oh Sev!” Hermione snorted. “Stop being such a pompous old windbag!” She put out a long slim hand and pulled him down to the chair next to her

“Iona and I are trying to decide what to do about Harry,” she said in the rather bossy way that had once irritated him beyond belief but that he now found rather endearing. “We need to help him Severus, he needs to remember…

Suddenly the door burst open and Ron exploded through it

“I have had enough,” he shouted “I have fucking had it with those bastards!! I have absolutely and utterly had it.”

Ron was pacing the floor, he was shaking, raking his hands angrily through his hair. Severus had not seen him so angry in a long time and wondered what on earth was going on

“I’m sorry, hon.” Ron said, looking at Hermione in chagrin. “But I told Kingsley to stuff his job today. I simply cannot do it any more.” His voice seemed to crack…. “They have passed a law Scrimgeour and Umbridge that any dark creature, but specifically werewolves, if caught trying to harm a human, can be put to sleep. This is what really pisses me off! They can be put down ‘like rabid dogs’ DOGS!!!

“The legislation says, ‘if caught trying to harm humans.’ How woolly is that? It could mean anything, it means that no-one is safe anymore.

“What the fuck have we come to if we can treat human beings, our fellow magical creatures like this? What the fuck does Harry think he is bringing his children back here for? It can’t be for this, surely not for this?”

And Ron, who had been so strong for them all over the last few years, sat heavily on the chair next to Severus and buried his face in his hands.

“This world is going to hell in a hand-basket and I can’t seem to stop it! He said, “Kingsley said I should hang on because maybe we could change things from the inside, but I can’t, not anymore. Everyone is so scared. Too scared to move against Umbridge or Scrimgeour and there is talk of her reinstating the inquisition squad, only obviously with far more powers than her little group of supporters at Hogwarts ever had.

“I can’t work there any more Hermione, I don’t want people thinking I support what they are doing to our world, hell, I don’t support it. It stinks of bullying and corruption and no one seems prepared to stop things or oppose them and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Surely Harry can do something?” Hermione said “He can speak to Scrimgeour when he sees him later, he’ll listen to Harry.”

“I don’t think he will love, have you seen the Daily Prophet today?” This last said with a quirk of the eyebrow

When they all shook their heads he produced it from one of his capacious pockets with a flourish.

“Right, well then, I shall read it to you,” and he began.

Harry Potter – Damaged Beyond Repair?

It has come to this reporter’s notice, after several reports from those who have seen him that Harry Potter stayed away from the magical world because his injuries from the final battle were so severe, that he was so badly injured in the final battle that it is likely that he will never recover.

Those who have seen Potter have attested that he is a shadow of his former self. Harry didn’t seem to know us, said his close friend from school Lavinia Brown. He smiled at us in a welcoming way but had no idea who we were. It was quite heart-breaking for those who knew him so well.

Others say that his girlfriend from Hogwarts days Hermione Grosvener now Mrs Winterbottom is distraught and being comforted by her husband Raymond. Harry suffered severe brain damage said close friend and favourite teacher from those days Dolores Umbridge. Ms Umbridge’s eyes filled with tears as she spoke of a man once beloved to her as a pupil, broken by service to his country.

Harry is not alone however, his Muggle family accompany him everywhere and translate what is being said to him into simple language that he can understand.

Mr Potter it is believed is at Hogwarts so that his daughter Flossie can attend in September. Her mother who died recently raised Flossie, unfortunately it is believed that Potter is unable to care for his daughter himself.

It was Severus’s turn to lose his temper this time.

“That is outrageous!” He bellowed, “How dare they? We must go and find Harry. This drivel must be retracted. Harry does not deserve to be slandered like this.

“I was going to suggest Legilimency as a way perhaps of returning Harry’s memories but with slurs such as this being printed we need to act more quickly. We need to protect him from this!”

Neither Ron or Hermione or Severus noticed Iona slip away at this point in the discussion. Nor did they notice that she did not seem in the remotest bit upset about the article on Harry.

They found Harry in the entrance hall when they finally went looking for him. They had talked about what to do, how best to persuade Harry to let Severus try to restore his memory. Hermione told Ron that she was proud of him for standing up to tyrants like Umbridge and Scrimgeour and insisted that they would manage financially until he could find something else. She also promised that she would start work on a charm that would help Harry so that he could understand what was being said with out having to have anyone translate for him. Then she had turned to ask Iona her opinion and had realised that the woman must have left whilst their attention was elsewhere.

But Iona was with Harry. Her arm was linked with his, she was signing with one hand, slowly as if she were stressing the importance of something.

She turned when Hermione called her name and Harry turned also, smiling when he saw who had come looking for them.

“Morning all!” He said. “How are you Professor, ready to meet the kids later? I’m afraid I have a meeting with Scrimgeour any time now, so it will have to be after lunch if that is okay?”

“Harry!” Hermione gasped, “Are you all right?”

“Um, yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

We have just seen the Prophet today and oh Harry there is this article about you, it implies that you are very injured Harry, brain damaged, unable to look after your kids. It’s horrible Harry.”

“Its okay Hermione I’ve seen it, don’t worry it really doesn’t matter!”

“But Harry…”

Just then the large, ornate front doors of Hogwarts swung open and in walked Rufus Scrimgeour. He was garbed in deeply embroidered purple robes, thick leonine hair neatly coifed, and behind him as pinkly primped and toad like as ever Dolores Umbridge.

Her eyes raked over the hall, taking everything in, evaluating, calculating weighing up what she could destroy. Her eyes locked with Severus’ and she smiled. But whereas Harry’s smile had been open and welcoming hers was cold, hungry calculating. She had been at Hogwarts for less than a year, such a long time ago now. She had obviously had much bigger fish to fry since then. But there was something, something about the way that she greedily drank in the surroundings of the school that made Severus’s blood run cold.

“Harry,” Hermione whispered urgently,“ Harry

Harry put a finger to his lips

“Ssshhh.” He said and he gave them a small secret smile and winked

Then he hunched his shoulders, opened his mouth ever-so-slightly which gave him a rather vacant look and leaning heavily on Iona’s support shuffled slowly and painfully over to greet the Minister and his depute.

***************************************


Severus did not know what to say, the problem was that he and Harry really did not know each other at all. It had been fine earlier with the children present or when Ron or Hermione were with them, but the difficulty was that Severus had hated him for such an extensive period and had obviously misunderstood him for such a long time that……Well where did you start a conversation with the hated son of your worst childhood enemy who also happened to be your nephew? Severus didn’t think any of those self-help manuals that Muggles were so fond of covered it somehow.

One or two phrases came to mind, but he dismissed them…. “well you seem to have recovered from all that torture pretty well.” or “Draco is madly in love with you and I think he will fall apart, messily, very soon if you don’t notice him and try to help him.” or even ”Sorry I was such a shit to you all those years.” Hadn’t they sort of covered that last night after all?

He thought about asking Harry what was going on with Scrimgeour and Umbridge, because Harry was obviously playing up to the prejudices of the odious pair, and encouraging them to dismiss him. But he rather doubted Harry would tell him. As far as he could see Harry, whom he had always thought to be the archetypal Gryffindor, was acting in a way that was positively Slytherin.

But then Severus thought, Harry had being showing Slytherin tendencies for quite some time hadn’t he? He had concealed his magical abilities from them all, not just Voldemort. And his childhood! Merlin knew how he had managed to conceal what it had truly been like for him with those Muggles. Yet he had never revealed the details to anyone. Yes Severus mused, Harry certainly had his Slytherin side. You would tell him to do something and he would look at you steadily, with those green eyes of his, agree that it was the best thing to do and then carry on with whatever he was doing anyway, according to his own secret plans that he shared with nobody. Except perhaps the enigmatic Iona

Harry was standing in Severus’ sitting room - the scene of so much angst the night before and clutching a cup of tea. He checking out the books on the shelves, Severus noted that he was standing right where Draco had been just a few hours earlier.

Finally Harry turned around to look at him and Severus spoke

“So,” he said, “Iona seems nice?” Severus cringed, oh my god he thought, I sound so pathetic, could I not have thought of anything better than that? I sound like somebody’s mother at a bloody tea party!

But Harry didn’t seem to mind, he tilted his head to one side and said

“She is, if it were not for her, goodness knows where I would be today. She is a psychologist, a sort of Muggle mind healer. She has always been there for me, she has helped so much. I really don’t know what I would have done without her you know? Because there was a time that I could barely cope. I had panic attacks and screaming nightmares and….”

He broke off for a moment.

“She must be very good at what she does Harry, Severus said softly, “because you are a remarkable young man. I do not think there are many people who could have gone through what you have gone through and come out the other side as well has you have.”

Harry looked at him in consideration.

“Do you know Professor, I think that is probably the nicest thing you have ever said to me? Thanks I guess! But an awful lot of how okay I am now is down to Fi, and my kids and of course Iona.


“She came with me here because I was not sure how it would be. When I got back. I mean, I’m mostly okay these days, very few flashbacks. But we thought…we both thought that being here might trigger something, memories, but there is nothing. Old Tom did a good job on my brain. No wonder Iona says I am her Magnum Opus!

“You know what’s worse though?” He was looking directly into Severus’ eyes, “That I have to keep hurting people.” They all seem so happy to see me and I have to disappoint them because I have not got a clue who they are for the most part.

“Ron and Hermione were the worst I think, because although I at least knew who they were from Remus’ stories. I didn’t actually know them. I don’t really remember them at all and, well I think they are used to it now but, I could see the hurt in their eyes at first. Do you know what I mean?

Sometimes I get these feelings about people; some people anyway, I get them about Ron and Hermione, a sort of warmth, a tenderness. Like shadows in my mind.”

“Do you remember me, Harry?” Severus asked

“Harry snorted. “Of course I do Professor, It was my i>good memories that Voldemort destroyed, and I am sorry Sir, but none of my memories of you count as good!”

Severus, unaccountably felt rather hurt at that.

“Oh!” He said

“Well,” Harry said, looking at his watch, “will we get on with the Legilimency then Professor? I promised the children that I would be there for tea-time.

“Do you want me sitting…. or,”

“Sitting will be fine. You can trust me you know Harry.”

Harry’s eyes met Severus’s again and held his gaze.

“I know that Professor. If I didn’t trust you I wouldn’t be here,” and then as if he sensed how strangely fragile Severus was feeling right now, “I really do want me and the children to get to know you better. Are you joining us for tea? I think Rory really took to you and we would love to have you?”

Severus just nodded rather stiffly and with that Harry took the seat that his uncle indicated and they began

“Legilimens.”

***************************************

Severus found himself wandering in Harry’s mind. The memories danced around him, flashes of light in a dream landscape. …. A wild moorland scene, close to the sea. Harry, throwing a stick for a bouncing dog and running with children…. A blonde haired woman smiling… Children laughing…., a sobbing Fi being held… the blonde woman again covered in perspiration, laughing and holding up a tiny newborn in a sunny bedroom…. Ron and Hermione, turning towards him and smiling…., returning to Hogwarts…

Older memories now… being chased by a dog with people laughing, flying away from a dragon. Severus himself shouting at a much younger Harry. Walking into a Muggle lounge and seeing Walden MacNair and three other men. Sirius Black falling through the veil…

He was being drawn into images faster and faster. It was an experience that he never got used to, and then suddenly it changed.

Fuzzy images this time, as if seen from behind tissue paper or a dark opaque curtain, blackened though, ugly. Voices muffled, heard as if from under water, lots of these, hundreds, almost indistinguishable from each other, going on and on.

Then horrible memories, thirst, hunger, pain. Oh God such awful pain! Cold. Loneliness. Aching despair. And then…. and then.

A barrier. Huge and impenetrable, made up of, was that thicket? Thorn and briar rose, hawthorn and bramble? But from somewhere beyond the impassable hedge Severus could sense something. Something so magical, so joyful, so special, that he was drawn to it like it was the most important place he could ever visit, like nowhere before or afterward could ever be so precious, he reached out his hand as if to touch it…. There was a blinding flash and Severus was no longer in Harry’s mind, but across the room, crumpled on the floor.

“Professor! Are you all right?” Harry’s voice said as if from a distance, but Severus closed his eyes, they felt so heavy and then he knew no more.

***************************************


Severus’ head felt like it was being pounded by sledge-hammers. He sat up and groaned.

“Oh Merlin!” He moaned

“Severus?” It was Hermione’s voice

He gingerly opened one eye to see where she was. Where he was, come to that and saw that he was in his bedroom and that she was sitting beside his bed with a book resting in her lap.

“You have been unconscious for nearly twenty four hours, Sev.” She said, “ Try not to get up too quickly or you mind find yourself a bit dizzy.”

“Wha…what happened?” He muttered

“We don’t really know, you were practicing occlumency on Harry and the next he knew he was in tremendous pain and you had been thrown across the room. He was laid low with a headache himself for most of the rest of yesterday. He is just through in the kitchen making a cup of tea, I’ll go get him. He’s been really worried about you.”

Severus tried to humpf at that but he was too sore to move so instead he just closed his eyes and lay back on the pillow.

“Are you all right Professor?” Harry said gently

“For Merlin’s sake Harry I have just been in your head! Sharing your most intimate thoughts. Call me Severus! That is my name and you are an adult now!”

He winced again. Loud noises hurt!

Harry chuckled, “Pro..sorry Severus, you have been in my head a lot of times before and you never asked me to call you Severus then.”

Severus humphed, “No maybe not. But I didn’t know you were my nephew then either,” he cracked open an eye. “We’ve not had a good experience of occlumency together you and I eh?”

Harry chuckled then, a joyful, rather unexpected sound and Severus felt absurdly pleased with himself that he had managed to make Harry laugh.

“Same time, same place tomorrow?” he suggested

“Okay Severus, I’m game if you are.” Harry replied.

“Fancy a cup of tea?”

***************************************


Draco was quite distraught. He had seen Ginny Weasley-Zabini going up to the castle earlier and then a short while ago, Harry had walked her to the gate. He’d been chatting away with her arm in arm. He felt sick; maybe Harry wanted to be with her rather than him? Well why would he want Draco when he could have anyone else in the world that he possibly could want? Draco thought sadly. Didn’t stop it hurting though, not one bit.

All in all Draco had not had a good week. The brewing project for the Lenoir foundation had not being going well, and Harry had spent much of his time closeted with Severus, so Draco had been working on his own and hadn’t seen either of them or Ron or Hermione. Ron had left the auror service and seemed a bit out of sorts. He had gone to spend a day or so with his mother as Hermione seemed ever-busier getting ready for the start of school.

Harry was still inundated with visitors, all queuing up to see if there was anything of substance in that Prophet article and Draco seemed to be spending more and more time with no-one else but the children for company and he was feeling left out, lonely and rather cross.

He was clearing weeds behind the green houses now, angry and frustrated and near to tears, and that was when Flora found him.

“Hi Legolas,” she said, “how are you today,”

“M’okay,” Said Draco shortly, he found that he was unaccountably annoyed with Flora. Deep down he knew that he should not be, that Flora was a sweet child, but no one else had come near him all day and he could not help himself snapping at her a bit.

“What do you want anyway? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Flora did not really look like her father, she was it seemed an amalgam of her mother Mhairi and her granny Lily. But just then she tipped her head to one side and looked at Draco curiously and it was all that Draco could do not to cry out loud, for just for that moment Flora was the image of Harry.

Draco’s breath caught in his chest,

“Oh God!” He said “I’m so sorry Flora, I..I..I didn’t mean to snap!”

“S’okay,” said Flora, shrugging her small shoulders, “My Dad asked me to say to you that you should go and see him sometime. He has something that he wants to tell you and you are never around when he comes looking.”

“Bibble.” said Draco

Flora looked at him strangely

“Pardon?” She said

Draco cleared his throat, and tried again, “I’m a bit busy. It’s a bad time of year. Students will be here soon and I have to get the castle ready, and the grounds, and if I wait till the children get back they’ll be no time, and you kids keep coming down and bothering me when I am busy, and so then I get held back and….

“Legolas are you avoiding my Daddy?”

Draco blushed.

“No, no why would I want to do that?”

Flora smiled a sweet and rather knowing smile, “I think you like my Dad she said, you know fancy him, like him, like him ”

Draco was horrified. Flora knew? She had noticed how he felt? Oh God, this child knew about him? Not only that, but she had trivialised his love for Harry using some childish little girl term. Which cheapened it, made it seem like nothing at all, but his feelings were very real to Draco and he was getting to the stage where he just could not take much more pain.

Harry’s return had been pure torture for him, to see Harry every day from a distance and yet be too terrified to say anything. Too scared to go close in case he was rejected. To stand by and watch the Lavender Brown’s and Ginny Zabini’s of the world stroll in and out of his company apparently with out a care in the world. He was fed up with being pitied, patronised, treated badly, hated, spat on and used. It had been too many years since Draco had been able to hold his head up high and he was completely and utterly fed up with being the butt of some elaborate cosmic joke and all that angst, all his hurt and sorrow that he had been carrying around for so long boiled over all at once into a huge and uncontrollable anger. And he turned that anger on the only person available at that moment in time he turned it on Flora.

“How dare you?” He shouted, “How dare you suggest that I am like some love sick school girl following after your father?”

Flora’s grey eyes went wide with shock “I’m sorry,” she stuttered “I..

But Draco interjected and cut off whatever she was about to say. “I do not ‘fancy him’, he is a man, a man who was married to your mother. He does not like men, he likes woman, and there is no way, no way on earth that he would like me! For Merlin’s sake child can you not see that I am not some proud mystical elf? I am a broken down handy man, a fool and a whore. An old, dirty, washed up whore and that is all I will ever be!”

Flora stood still staring at him for several seconds mute with horror and panting hard. Then her eyes filled with tears and sobbing loudly she turned away from him and ran as fast as she could back to the castle.

And Draco, all anger spent, sank to his knees in the deepest sorrow. He knew that he should not have lost his temper like that, not at Flora, he had just lost her friendship and he realised at that moment how much he had come to treasure the company of the cheerful, helpful little girl.

“Oh Flora, I am so sorry,” he whispered. “But you were wrong, I don’t just fancy your father, I love him. I love him from the very depths of my soul, and I can’t have him, can’t be with him and the pain of it is tearing me apart.”

Then Draco curled himself into as small a ball as he could manage in amongst the nettles and overgrown rhubarb and sobbed out his bitter despair.



***************************************


Hermione was in her office; she had seemed not to leave at all these last few days. Finding Harry had seriously cramped her schedule. Not that she minded. It was so good to have him around again, and this Harry was very different from the person he had been at school. How could he not be? He had been through so much over the past few years but, as Fi had said Harry was a survivor, and this Harry was fun!

His mischievous streak, that had been barely apparent the last few years of school, was visible in full force now and he was great at cheering them all up. Especially with all that was going on this moment in time in the wizarding world. He made her laugh, and he teased Ron and even Severus. She treasured her visits with him and with his family. They were so sweet, so generous. They had embraced Severus into their midst with barely a second thought, he still seemed rather bewildered by it all, she decided. Severus and Iona seemed to be also getting on well. They both had quick minds and acerbic wit and seemed to be uniting over what to do about Harry! And Harry seemed to be quite happy to just sit back and let them get on with it.

She was a bit worried about Ron though. Her husband was usually an even tempered man, who suffered the occasional bouts of hot headed anger, but it was quick to cool, and despite a tendency to sulk in his teenage years Ron was on the whole was a fairly equitable man. But lately he seemed to be constantly unsettled and worried about the state of the world. As each day passed there was another article about Harry and how unstable he was. Today’s had even gone so far as to suggest that he should be taken to St Mungos for extended treatment. She had tried to get him to take them seriously but he had shrugged them off

“Don’t worry Hermione.” He had said, “I’ll be fine.”

Finally she was worried about Draco. She was sure that he was getting ill again. Like he had been when they had first brought him back to Hogwarts. He was hiding in the shadows all the time now, speaking only to the children. She was sure that all those years ago something had happened between him and Harry in those cellars, something more than the friendship he had told them about. But he refused to talk to her, seemed even to be avoiding her company. And as for Harry, he was hardly reliable. When questioned he looked at her with those big green eyes and said quite honestly that he didn’t remember. But she knew there was something, if only she could get to the bottom of it all.

She was just pondering whether she had managed to do enough paperwork to be allowed the treat of a cup of tea and a short walk to stretch her legs when her door slammed back and Ron literally fell into the room

“Oh shit Hermione!” said Ron, out of breath and clearly very upset about something, “Fucking, buggering, hell. You have to come now, quickly, Bill’s been arrested for being a dark creature, what the fuck are we going to do?”


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Neither Harry nor Severus saw Flora watching them, she was very good at staying hidden when she wanted to be. She knew that her new uncle Severus was trying to get her dad’s memories back, and Flora wondered. She had seen the way her father looked at Draco, the two or three times that he had managed to catch sight of him that was! His expression seemed to soften somehow, become wistful. It was almost the way he looked at her and her brothers and sisters, almost and yet not quite the same. Flora knew that if she could only get them together then everything would somehow be all right.

She had not known why her Legolas had kept hidden from her father for so long. Because she had thought him the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen, from the very first moment she had caught sight of him hiding, watching them from the bushes. And then he had shouted those things at her and at first she had been hurt and angry. It had taken her a while to think things through but then she had understood!

When Flora was sad sometimes, Aunty Iona and she would watch films, old romantic weepies. They would sit with a big bowl of popcorn, slathered in honey and a box of tissues, snuggle together and watch sad, sloppy love stories. Outwardly she scorned such mush, but deep down, in secret, she loved her times with Iona. Times she wished she could have shared with her mother and would have done if Mum hadn’t died. Flora missed her mother, and she knew her dad did too, but she also knew that whilst Iona and Granny could fill much of the gap left by Mhairi’s death for her and her brothers and sister, they could not do that for her father.

Just like in those movies, Sleepless in Seattle, Ghost, Notting Hill, Dad was lonely and he needed someone to love. Draco had said that her father wouldn’t want him because he was a man and that he had been married to her mother and didn’t really like men. But Flora was more aware than Draco was of her father’s opinions on that, because of her granny’s brother Hector.

Hector came to visit often with his boyfriend David and sometimes people had said horrible things about them, especially that nasty Mary Morrison at the shop. But Daddy had said that some people were just blinkered and narrow minded and thought it was wrong for two men or two women to love each other and could be mean about it. But he thought that love was never wrong whenever it occurred and should be welcomed by everyone because there was nowhere near enough of it in the world and it sometimes knew better than people themselves did about who should be together.

But Draco had been really distressed and had shouted at her that even worse than being a man he had been a whore. Flora had run away when he’d said that because it was such a horrible word and it frightened her a bit to hear it. Especially used by her Legolas against himself like that. So she had hidden from everyone for a while and cried a little bit, and then she thought of how upset Draco must have been to have said those things because normally he was so very nice to them all. She had finally decided that she would go and see her dad, because he would be able to explain things. She knew that he was with Uncle Severus, trying to find his memories and that he was always tired afterwards. But Flora also knew that no matter how tired or sad he was, her father always made time for his children and never turned them away if they needed him.

Then she remembered “Pretty Woman” that was one of Flora and Iona’s favourite films; they had seen it several times. Draco had been a prostitute just like in the film, and he thought her daddy would be angry, but Flora thought that her father would be all right about it. Just like Richard Gere had been. Draco was so much better looking than Julia Roberts in her opinion, he obviously loved her father and her father needed someone to love him. Just him.

So when she over heard Uncle Severus telling Dad that he should go and lie down in the infirmary because he was going to have a, “monster headache after that last session.” she formulated a plan. If she got Draco and her father together then, maybe, just like in all those movies, love would find a way? They couldn’t all be wrong surely? So she spun on her heel and ran as fast as she could for Draco’s hut, waiting until she was almost outside before shouting as loudly as she was able to,“Legolas, Legolas come quickly my daddy’s been hurt!”



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Draco was horrified. Harry hurt? He did not wait to hear what had happened, did not stop to think. Didn’t even think to apologise for his hurtful words earlier or wonder whether Flora had forgiven him. Instead, panicked, he ran after the little girl as fast as he could, stumbling a bit and breathing raggedly. She waited for him though and took his hand and together they rushed across the grass towards the castle and the hospital wing.

Harry looked small, diminished somehow, lying in that hospital bed. His eyes were closed and his chest was rising and falling softly, rhythmically. Draco’s heart clenched with compassion for this beautiful man, and he knew that he just had to be near him.

He did not notice that he and Harry were alone; did not see that Flora seemed to vanish away. He only saw one person in that stark, white room; he only had eyes for Harry

“Oh my love,” he whispered, “what have you done to yourself this time?” And slowly, carefully he walked over to the side of the bed. Hardly daring to touch even the covers instead he just stood there gazing sadly at the man he had loved with all his heart since he was seventeen years old. At his dark raven locks and the long black lashes that curled on his cheeks and Draco could not help himself, so he leaned forward and gently placed a kiss on curved, crimson lips. At the touch of the kiss Harry took a deep breath and opened bright green eyes that all at once filled with love. He stared openly at Draco for a moment or two, silent but smiling tenderly.

“There you are Libellule!” Harry said looking up at him tenderly and reaching out a hand to caress his cheek. “I have been looking for you for the longest time.”

Draco’s eyes widened and he gasped out loud. He stepped back, one step, two, three. “No! Oh no.” He muttered under his breath. “You are awake! I didn’t know you were awake.”

Harry still held his gaze but now he looked puzzled. He had pushed himself up into a seated position and he was staring at Draco, his expression was one of concern..

“Draco,” he said, “What’s wrong?”

Draco ran.

He ran like his sanity, his very life depended on it. As fast as he could on his ruined leg. Down the corridors pell-mell again, and this time away from Harry, away from the flame. Because that was what Harry had become. A bright and all encompassing sun around whom they all circulated and if Draco got any closer he knew that this little dragonfly was going to singe his wings.

Harry didn’t want Draco, he couldn’t want him. Draco was damaged goods. He was dirty, scarred, unclean. When Harry saw that, saw the real him he would be disgusted and he would turn away and Draco couldn’t take that risk, he couldn’t allow himself to trust again and so he ran.

Stumbling down the stairs, along passageways, past portraits, which called out to him, rudely. Away from Harry, away from the man he loved. Blindly, not seeing where he was going, sobbing to himself, roughly swiping at his eyes to clear the tears. He reached the entrance hall and bumped all at once, unexpectedly, into the strong firm chest of a stranger. Solid, unmoving, dressed in dark blue aurors robes.

“I’ve been looking for you,” The man said coldly, grabbing his arm with a fist that felt like iron. “Draco Malfoy you are under arrest for insurrection and conspiracy.”