The man behind the mask

A/N: YAY! New chapter I hope you like! And by the way: Hey thanks everyone wow. I was ranting yesterday my own frustrations and never thought to actully post it. Lol I did and the response made me smile a little. Didn't mean to sound Bitchy or mean I've been sort of having a bad week lol. And it is how I feel...*sighs* Lol just be nice everyonce in a while and talk to me. Lol nobody wants to be lonely. So here you go a new chapter.

Severus stood outside the door to his chambers and stared at a small wrapped package. Inside was a piece of himself he had never thought to show anyone. A weakness. Something he had told himself over and over to burn! He had never been able to do it.

He wished to god he had. Somehow this most secrete private part of him the dark lord had known about. He had ordered Snape to give it to Sirius. He had almost yelled no into the Dark lords face. Instead he had stood there shaking in his own horror and his anger.

Anything but this, he wasn't so sure death wasn't preferable to giving this to Sirius.
But an order was an order, and one did not disobey the Dark lord.
~~Change~of~view~~~~

"What's this?" Sirius Black growled at Severus Snape as he threw a rapped bundle to his feet. Sirius was chained to the wall of Severus's room, a condition he didn't much appreciate and he was showing it by the blaze of hatred in his eyes and his biting tones. Severus tossed him an equally cold glance.

"Look Black, I want you for a slave as much as I want brain tumors so just leave it already. Until the dark lord can bring Harry around he has to think that the big bad death eaters are hurting his little friends." Severus snapped walking past Sirius. His stride was impatient, and his eyes were cold.

((The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.))

Sirius blinked up at him in shock, uncomprehending exactly what it was he had heard at first. Snape wasn't going to harm him. "You, Snively are going to pass up the chance to harm me, when I'm at your mercy? What kind of trick is this?" He demanded suspiciously. Had he fallen through some sort of portal? Had those death eaters smashed him over the head a little too hard?

Severus sneered. "Is your hearing failing you Black? Or is your big head swelling so much your eardrums have gotten lost in the mesh!"

Sirius almost laughed in relief, this was more like the Snape he knew. They had been fighting since they were boys. They had hated each other since they were boys. Sirius used to go to bed each night thinking on what would happen on the marrow. When he would see Snape again and when he would best him. He had always drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. It was one of the highlights of his life.

((It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind.))

Maybe that made him a bit of a pratt and a jerk, but as far as he was concerned the greasy git deserved it. He strutted around like he was above everybody, and he was so damn cold! Like he was some god amongst ants. Too good for the likes of Sirius and his friends...Sirius had considered it his duty to teach him otherwise.

Voldemorts words from the day before echoed in his mind like a ghostly echo. He shook them away, he was nothing like Snape! He grit his teeth. Like hell Snape was teaching him anything.

((I have to stand up to be stronger.))

"Your never going to change Black, I don't want to bother trying to mold you! You will always be one thing and Idealistic fool. You fallowed James blindly out of some foolish misguided friendship. You fallow Albus out of blind loyalty. You have no mind of your own therefore no mind for me to shape, or beat into shape for that matter. Open it if you will, burn it if you care to. I am done with you. Food will be brought to you but you'll stay in here so your godson at least thinks i'm doing terrible things to you." Severus snapped angrily. He left as quickly as he had come, the door slamming behind him.

Sirius stared at the closed door in puzzlement. "What was this? Things had always been the same between he and Snape. Snape was cold and reserved and only grew angry when Sirius bested him. More often then not that was James but the result was the same. How it worked was Sirius taunted him, drove like a ice pick into the cold reserve that was Severus Snape because...

Sirius frowned. Why did he get so much enjoyment from sparing with Snape. He had looked forward to it in school. In his years in Azkaban he had kept himself sane with memories. He would change into his dog form and replay every happy memory. Most of them included taunting one Severus Snape.

Didn't that make him no better then the people he fought. A bully, someone who received pleasure through anothers pain.

((I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.))

No it didn't. That was different, they never really hurt Snape. They didn't take his life. He wasn't proud of his antics during his youth, even he would admit he had been overly arrogant and dastardly in his treatment of a fellow peer.

But he had been proved right hadn't he, Snape had ended up a Death Eater.

And then a memory long buried returned to him. It had seemed like something unworthy of storing for later examination at the time. He had been young newly graduated from Hogwarts and finally earned his position as an Auror. He was idealistic and ready to take on the world.

He and James had been Dumbledore's favorite students of course. They had been one of the first he recruited for the order against Voldemort. He had been filled with fire and purpose. And Dumbledore had asked them to gather any worthy friends they could think of.

He had been going through photo's and letters from old Class mates when he had thought of Severus. By this time he was significantly older and a little more mature. He couldn't say he agreed with Severus's methods and his odd obsession with the Dark Arts.

((Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,))

But he had been ashamed of how he treated him. Oddly enough he had wanted that feeling again. He had wanted to speak to to spar with him again. As if he wanted to match his will and his wit against Severus, as if he had missed it.


He had. And he knew then with clarity that he owed the man an apology. That He needed to at least explain himself, that he wanted to know if he felt the same way. Did he feel like Sirius was the only person who could truly make him...Make him what.

He hadn't stopped to think about it. He had searched around for Severus. When he had been unable to locate him he had gone to Albus for help. It had been he who broke the news to him. He had told Sirius that Snape had become a death eater.Then had described to him in vivid detail their terrible acts that he committed.

Needless to say any feeling of wanting to apologize, to explore what was running beneath his feelings had died an instant death. He had been angry, he had been livid. He had felt a flash of betrayal. Like Severus had robbed them both of something.

((Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile))

He had turned his back on Albus contemplating his next move, had actually contemplated contacting Snape when a warm feeling had overtaken him. Like... Sirius frowned. That's where the memory got fuzzy. The next thing he knew he got on with his life. He assumed he had just decided he had always been right, that Snape was a cold hearted bastard who deserved anything he and James could throw at him.

Sirius shivered. Was this memory real or was it some long lost dream. Was it a product of this place? Was the Dark lord seducing them all into darkness?

((That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.))

~~~~~~Change of View~~~~~~

Lucius Malfoy stared at his new slave with amused annoyance. What was the point of having a pet if you couldn’t play with it a little? The dark lord had sent him a message; he was not to physically harm Lupin. Not that he had entertained the notion of killing him, or hurting him too badly for that matter. No Lucius had much different plans for his newest pet. The dark lord wished to bring Harry into their fold, to change his view on life. He wisely knew that this would never happen if the two people he loved most were being tortured and killed. That would only serve to fuel his hatred.

What if instead those said two changed their allegiance, then said two would influence Harry. It was already obvious Harry wasn’t sure about Dumbledore any longer his foundation was cracking. He was on uncertain ground; it would crumble if both Remus and Sirius denounced allegiance with Dumbledore. It couldn’t be done by spell work, Harry would eventually know and that would undo any progress. It had to be natural. Which meant he and Snape had a lot of work to do.

How many times had they been offered the chance to join the members of their bloodline, to join the cause of purifying their way of life? A million it seemed, and each time the answer was the same. Lucius knew exactly why that was, He was at least four years older then Remus and Black, he could remember clearly the day he had first met the quartet.

He had been in his fourth year and it was near the Halloween feast. He had been with his usual band of Slytherin friends, Crabbe, Goyle, Lyles and a couple other younger students who showed promise. Thomas Lyles the only other in his group whom he could profess to having any intellect had been complaining about some first year who had given him cheek in the hall way. He lamented over the fact that the headmaster had not punished them as was appropriate. He had just twinkled at them and walked away.

Lucius hadn’t been listing he was watching Narcissa Black, the woman his father wanted him to marry with her group of friends. He didn’t love her; it wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive. She was a beautiful woman. The feeling just wasn’t there. He was contemplating how their marriage when that time came, was going to work when a young boy walked up to her.

He had black hair and even at his young age he was striking. A couple first year girls at the Gryffindor table giggled and twittered as he walked by. He wore Gryffindor robes, what was a Gryffie, doing talking to his Narcissa! The little upstart thought he was all the rage did he? It was more for sake of his pride then anything that Lucius advanced.

“Come on Cissa, you know you want to. I’m desperate and without you…who knows what will happen?” Was the first thing he was able to hear as he advanced on the pair. Narcissa was glancing around her with nervousness as if she didn’t want to be seen talking to him.

“Go away Sirius. Go sit with your own kind. You know I want to help you but…” She faltered when she caught sight of him. Lucius smirked at her, he knew that she felt about as much for him as he her, but he wasn’t going to tolerate any funny business. She was his until he decided to let her go.

“What’s this Narcissa, pals with baby Gryffen’s are you? Has the name of Black really sunk so very low? Tsk tsk Narcissa, had you but told me you were feeling neglected I would have sat with you. No need to resort too first years.” The other Slytherin girls twittered and tossed Narcissa gleeful smiles. She paled a little but she was ever a princess cool and calm under fire. It was the one thing he admired in her. Her sister Andromeda however was the opposite. She flushed red and fired back at him. “He happens to be our cousin Malfoy.”

Narcissa smiled coolly and his look of surprise, “Yes Lucius dear, I’m so sorry if my eleven year old boy cousin made you jealous. Run along Sirius, I think Lucius would feel better if he didn’t have to measure up to you.”

Lucius felt a spark of rage simmer in his belly, the little bitch! Then it falter into amusement, Narcissa knew how to hold her own. She was a queen in her element, and some of that fascinated him. He just didn’t want to marry it. The Blacks blood was just as pure and ancient as his own. Their allegiance had always been clear, his father wanted to alien with the second most powerful family in the realm.

Apparently the young boy, Sirius was his name? Did not like being told to run along or ignored. His mouth set in a firm line, and he pushed past Lucius to face his cousin again. “Run along? What am I five! Come on Narcissa I just need thirty gallons. My mum wont send me anymore.”

Narcissa stared at him with chilling calm, “that’s because you spent all yours! And on nothing of value, don’t think I’m not aware that it was you and your little friends who released that Bogart into Bella’s room.” Narcissa admonished. Her youngest sister Bellatrix glared at Sirius. Sirius gave her a bored smile.

“A little friendly teasing, is it true your frightened of your mum Bella, that old bat? I have to admit I was a little surprised I thought you hade a little thing called spine but hey even I make mistakes.” Sirius laughed. By now most of the hall was watching the lone lion amongst the snakes. Some of the professors looked worried, which they should be. Some of the Slytherin males would gladly rip Sirius apart for even daring to talk to Narcissa.

However he was not without back up, three boys, well one of them appeared a lot more reluctant then the other two. Got up from the Gryffindor house table and scampered towards them. That had been his first look at James Potter and Remus Lupin. James was wiry with glasses and a mop of black hair. His blue eyes were laughing with censure and rebellion. He had a smirk on his face and he walked with a confidant swagger. The brown haired boy looked rather pale, his honey colored eyes swept from person to person. He appeared to be actually taking their measure. To be weighing the options. The last was chubby and blonde haired, his eyes darted around in fear; he was fairly wetting his trousers. Lucius bit back a snort of disgust.

“So did she loan you a few Paddy, what’s taking so long?” The one with the disordered mop of black hair grumbled. Sirius offered him a bored smile and nodded to the others. “She’s having some sort of spat with that pompous git over there.” He said nodding towards Lucius.

Lucius had to hold back Crabbe and some others; they were ready to tear into the young men before them. “Those are the same cheeky little blighters I was telling you about. See what I mean the headmasters watching them start trouble and he does nothing. If it were us we’d be in detention for months!” Lyles hissed.

“Their Gryffindor’s and probably the new golden boys what can you expect.” Lucius shrugged. It was shocking that it was a Black in the position. He could understand Narcissa’s embarrassment now.

“James I don’t think calling them names when there are more of them then us is particularly smart.” The boy with the brown hair admonished with a shake of his head. He wasn’t quivering like a damn mouse like the fourth one. He simply knew that a fight was going to break out if this continued. He gripped his wand tightly and Lucius could almost see him bracing for the inevitable. He glanced at Crabbe and Goyle, those two dunderheads were nothing more then muscle. For all that he didn’t like the boy in the middle with the glasses and black hair he felt a twinge of jealousy. What would it be like to have a friend like that? One with actually thoughts in his head. It was clear even then That Lupin was the one with sense and a brain in the group, he clearly knew it was madness what his friends were doing. He stayed anyway.

On one hand it spoke of loyalty and an honor between friends that was lacking in Lucius’s life. On the other hand it spoke of cowardice. Was he so afraid of rejection and being friendless that he would fallow even those whom were clearly fools.

He had seen it then and he could see it now. James had been Dumbledore’s golden boy, Lucius was convinced that even then Dumbledore had either thought James was the one from the prophecy or it would be of his line. He had been molding James potter since he was in diapers. Sirius Black was a frightened little boy who had been raised in a black family so to speak. He could just imagine arriving at Hogwarts fully expecting to be sorted into the house his entire family was in and receiving a shock. He was now an outcast, even to his own kin.

No one wants to go any road alone and friendless, so what does a prideful scared little boy do. Especially when everyone’s favorite boy offers him friendship, he pretends that it doesn’t matter. That he had always been different, that he detested his families ideals and that he had always done so. He does whatever he can to survive, as is human nature. Sirius Black had altered his reality to suite his own needs. He needed friends; he needed that foolish emotion called love. So he shaped himself to receive it. And it worked, he was popular, girls chased after him. He was loved by everyone; Professors turned a blind eye whenever possible to his actions. To the point where whatever he had been before was lost. He was something new; it happened a lot with youth. It was natural, and sometimes it could be dangerous.

Remus was no different, for all his intellect and his talents he was just another scared little boy walking a lonely road. He had been bitten as a child and his life cursed from that point on. It was a miracle at all he was being allowed to attend the school. Again Dumbledors’ doing, he had seen early on that if he cold mold this young werewolf to his way of thinking he would have another ace in the hole. He would have person who could speak in their circles where he would be ignored.

Even still changing into a rabid beast every month, the sickness, knowing that if anyone found you out he could be forced to leave the school, left Remus Lupin friendless and alone. He suffered, and it had been almost a Miracle that one James Potter had offered him friendship. Lucius snorted Miracle indeed, he would stake his life that Albus had “encouraged” James to make friends with Remus and Sirius. And of course it had worked, because who wants to be alone.

Albus had gained two spies, one into the house of Black. Another into the Coven of Werewolves. As a result the Werewolves as a hole had not joined Voldemorts war, and the power of the Black family had been destroyed.

The dark lord was convinced that Albus had made an error in judgment. Character could be molded, suppressed altered and even change. But it never completely goes away. Sirius was a Black, deep inside somewhere was a shadow of a young man who looked on things with clear eyes. As of now he was blinded, it was Snape’s Job to take away the blind fold. Remus was just as blinded, had he grown up differently he might very well have seen with clear eyes. It was one of Albus’s talents to muddle even the clearest of waters.

He’d done an excellent job on all three of them. They had their work cut out for them. He sighed, he had tried speaking to Remus all he received in return was silence. Not hostile glares, or heated words. Just calm measuring silence, as if he was alone in the room and he was contemplating the last book he’d read. Lucius had insulted everything from his parents to his manhood and Remus had just watched him with silent amusement.

Today he had gotten a brilliant Idea, Remus couldn’t be silent about this one topic. It was too close to home, he knew its horror too well. He strode into his chamber with a swirl of elegant robes. His white blond hair flowing in grace full waves down his back. “Good news my furry little pet, I have just spoken with the Dark lord. It seems he has grown tired of Potters insolence, and Greyback has been shown much favor by him. He’s thinking of gifting the boy to him. I think it is just punishment.” Lucius smiled down at the man chained to his wall.

Remus stiffened and eyes that had been amused were now alight with fear and anger. He said nothing but Lucius could see his fists clenching.

“This doesn’t please you Remus? I cant figure why not. After all you’ll have company at least the next full moon. Then we’ll set you both out on the villagers.” He laughed.

“Only a monster would wish that kind of pain on a nineteen year old boy. To think people run from my kind with fear but let yours into their homes.”

Success, the calm ice had been broken.

Lucius considered his remark and shrugged, “ Is it so hard then? So you get a little hairy every full moon. And perhaps you go a little mad but your still you when you come out of it. Potter will still be the golden pratt of the universe.”

Remus looked at him with disgust, “A little hairy? I guess to some people the thought of turning into a beast that would eat its own mother without remorse is appalling. Since you are a beast to begin with I suppose it wouldn’t matter to you.”

Lucius burst into laughter, the cub had claws. “I was begging to think Black had all the spine. Well done pet. However I would prefer next time we speak that you not spout all that Gryffindor dribble Albus has pounded into your skull. Had you been using the brain you were born with and the eyes on your face you would have known that Voldemort would never give away Potter. He’s been waiting to long for this. That’s your problem your emotions rule you, isn’t that right Remus.” He asked.

Remus shivered, Lucius was right. He hadn’t thought he had just reacted. Stupid really, for a man who prided himself on his thinking. He fell back into silence; he was not going to be baited again.

“I must leave you my little wolf cub but I leave you with some food for thought, who are your friends when I get back I want you to list them. And beside them I want you to list everything you don’t like about them. If you do not I will ask Severus to whip the hide off his new little puppy is that clear pet.” With a mocking smile Lucius handed him a quill and paper, unchained one arm then left.

Remus frowned at the door way. What was that all about? List his friends, did Lucius want to wipe out those that he loved? Or was some other sick game in his mind. No that didn’t make sense, With Harry locked up there was already no one stopping Voldemort from death and destruction. Lucius knew that, that alone was enough to hurt Remus. So what was his aim, he probably shouldn’t but he was curious his intellect was probably the better side of his nature.

Sirius and James had been his true friends. Sirius still was and James was dead. Lucius already knew that. He could list a few others but Sirius and James were the ones that stood out. James had his faults, Remus frowned a lot of them. James was arrogant; he hadn’t really cared how others felt or how they saw him. He thought respect and power of a sort was his due. It had baffled and enraged him that he couldn’t have Lilly Evans that she didn’t fall into line like everybody else. He took his anger out on Snape and anyone else he didn’t like.

James disregarded the rules, they didn’t apply to him. He made his own rules, even when it came to the law. Remus wrote it down next to his name. It was illegal to have an unregistered animagi form, but James had disregarded that. Remus frowned he himself had not agreed with that choice, James had said it was too keep him company in his darkest hours. How could he reprimand them when James had shown so much caring for him by risking everything? He had been touched, but the feeling hadn’t lasted for long. Instead of spending hours talking or playing in the shack together, it appeared that James Idea of keeping Remus company was the breaking of more laws and more rules.

Next to Albus he wrote, he let him do it. He encourages without encouraging. Remus dropped the quill like it was hot, his heart pounding. So this was Lucius game! Turning him against his friends. He was going to have no part of it! James had been his best friend willing to risk his life and jail time to be with him when he needed friends the most. Albus had given him a chance when no other Headmaster would have, he had known they were breaking the law on many occasions and had let it go because he understood that.

That was it cut and dry, plane and simple. Black and white.

So why did he feel like he was sliding into gray.

A/N: I will be letting everyone know what chapter for what story I'm working on in My profiel I'll also clue you in to when I update. Another author did this and I really like it so I thought I would try it.