What the Devil Wants

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Harry watched distantly as Albus paced past his desk for the 80th time, the headmasters angry lecture not managing to penetrate the sickly, humiliated fog that clouded Harry’s mind. Albus’ raised voice sounded dull to Harry, like his ears were full of cotton wool. Harry knew the general idea of what he was being lectured about. Responsibility, maturity, choices and decisions, rules, and stupidity were among the main themes Harry had just managed to catch. Harry was having a hard time keeping up with the headmasters pace, and the man was beginning to make him feel ill again.

Snape was standing by the fire in his puke covered shoes and robe. He hadn’t said anything since he’d walked Harry up to the headmaster’s office after the incident in the bathroom. Harry knew he was in trouble and so managed to nod his way silently through the lectures. Now though Albus’ lecture was coming to an end, as the man sat back down at his desk and shook his head in disgust at Harry.

“…This is exactly the reason why Professor Snape’s class remains on a need to know basis only. You would not have thought twice about sex had you not wanted to be in a class your friends were in? I had thought you above the pressure of your peers, but obviously I was mistaken!” Harry winced as Albus hissed angrily, uncharacteristically irritated with Harry’s behavior and far less than understanding. “As it stands I believe your own self inflicted humiliation is punishment enough for you stupidity Mr. Potter, but I will leave the other rules you have broken to be punished by Professor Snape.” Harry swallowed awkwardly as he glanced up at Snape was still standing by the fire watching the entire exchange. “Severus, get him out of my sight.” Gingerly Harry rose from his chair in front of the headmaster’s desk, and following Snape’s lead joined the man beside the fire.

“Come along Mr. Potter.” Harry was a little surprised when Snape placed a warm hand on his shoulder, before guiding Harry though the fireplace and into a strange homely little lounge area Harry had never seen before. Harry shivered as Snape moved past him into the warm room, the man already stripping off his soiled cloak and shoes. “I suggest you have a seat before your arse meets the floor.” Harry obediently sat down on the edge of a chocolate brown leather couch; careful not to touch anything he didn’t have to but grateful for being allowed to sit down again. Snape disappeared through a small doorway off the lounge room before returning a moment later with what appeared to be two glasses of some kind of amber liquid. “Here, sip it. It might bring a little colour back into you and the ginger should quell your colorful stomach theatrics.” Harry accepted the offered tumbler of liquid and obediently sipped at the drink. Almost instantly Harry recognized the alcohol as whisky, the delicate undertone of ginger easing the burn of the liquid in the back of his throat. Why Snape was giving Harry alcohol was a mystery and certainly didn’t fit into Harry’s idea of what Snape was. Harry watched cautiously over the rim of his glass as Snape flopped down in a leather armchair and put his feet up on the matching footstool. Harry had never expected to see Snape looking so casual before, dressed now in only his pressed black pants and his white shirt and open waistcoat, as he nursed his own whisky and ginger. As Harry continued to sip his drink the cloud began to clear in his mind and it occurred to him that the lounge room he sat in, looked suspiciously like private quarters. Or more precisely Snape’s private chambers. Something wasn’t right there was no way Harry could be in Snape’s private rooms, especially not when he was in this much trouble. The colour that the liquor had put back into Harry’s cheeks drained away quickly when realization hit Harry.

Snape who’d been watching the play of thoughts in Harry’s head for the past fifteen minutes rolled his eyes when the boy went pale again.

“Relax Potter, while I relish the thought of one day seeing your demise I fear tonight is not that occasion.” Reaching over to the coffee table Snape picked up his wand and with a sharp flick, drew the decanter of whisky and ginger from the kitchen over to Harry’s glass for a generous refill that the boy seemed thankful for. There was a stagnate silence as Harry sipped his drink again, pointedly avoiding meeting Snape’s piercing gaze.

“Surprising as it is Mr. Potter I was young once too, and I have been doing this job long enough now that there is not a lot my students can tell me that surprises me.” Harry looked gingerly up over the rim of his glass, curious as to where this conversation was leading. Never in the history of their knowing one another, had Harry and Snape ever had a conversation where neither of them were shouting or arguing. “…and if you do surprise me, I’ll set up a private account for you at honeydukes.” Harry raised an astonished eyebrow in Snape’s direction as the elder wizard smiled. Snape didn’t smile as a general rule, or at least at no time when anyone could see him. Harry assumed the man was incapable of doing so, but the small upturned twitch of the man’s lips just now, had proved him wrong. When Harry didn’t smile back, Snape sighed heavily and refilled his own glass with whisky before continuing, knowing that this strange situation was probably a lot for Harry to handle on top of the night he’d already had. “You were right, it is punishment.” Harry frowned in confusion of Snape’s comment. “But Albus calls it a learning experience. Apparently by me teaching sex magic 101 it’s teaching me compassion and understanding for my students.” Harry couldn’t help himself and sniggered into his glass, shocked that he’d actually got something right in his heated ramblings earlier in the week. “Essentially it just reminds me how pathetically unfulfilled my own sex life is.” Snape sounded a little bitter but Harry didn’t make comment, the idea of talking to Snape at all, no less about the professor sex life was just plain weird.

“Sorry I chucked on your shoes.” Harry changed the subject, uncomfortable about the images, Snape having a sex life brought to mind. Snape snorted into his glass of whisky and merely shrugged his shoulders. Harry’s see-through attempt to change the subject was dually noted, and Severus made a point of watching what he said in front of the boy.

“It was bound to happen eventually.” Snape shrugged his shoulders as he yawned and rubbed the bridge of his nose in the way he unusually did when he was in, way over his head. Of all the students Snape had ever taught, counseling Potter on this particular subject was definitely not what he’d ever imagined. In fact Severus was surprised that Harry hadn’t run screaming from the room yet, but then again there was still time. There was a stagnate silence that hung in the air, Harry staring at his hands twisted around the tumbler of whisky. With an exaggerated sigh Severus dived in head first, his icebreakers having failed, as he knew they would. Potter was a different breed to those who’d sought out Severus guidance before, and the direct approach no matter how confronting was the only solution. The last thing Severus wanted was to spend all night pussy footing around the subject, only to have Dumbledore lecture him tomorrow morning, when nothing had been achieved.

“At some stage Potter, we’re all going to fuck it up. It’s a fact of life, you have to learn sex like you learned how to read.” Harry’s eyes widened impossibly, his head shooting up to stare at Snape in what could only be described as horror. Snape rolled his eyes and took another generous swig of his whisky.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Harry glared at Snape from over the rims of his glasses before moving to stand up from the leather couch. Snape sighed and flicked his wand casually at Harry, sitting the boy back down hard.

“Yeah and neither do I, but if we don’t both you and I are going to be spending all of tomorrow in Dumbledore’s office, discussing it with him. And I don’t know about you, but my sex life is certainly not something I wish to have debated by ‘twinkle eyes’ himself.” Snape snapped his usual, snarky sarcastic Potion Professor mask falling back into the usual routine. “Now are you going to tell me what happened between you and Miss Alice, or do I start throwing out snippets of what I overheard and Merlin forbid, what I saw?” Defeated Harry sighed, there was no way he was getting out of this and in some ways Harry would have proffered a years detention rather than to have the conversation he was about to.

“We didn’t do it, I couldn’t…” Harry trailed off purposefully downing what was left of his whisky in one go before staring at his shoes, gently swaying off the end of the couch. Snape raised a curious eyebrow but didn’t comment, it was best just to leave Potter to continue. “It wasn’t what I expected. You imagine certain things, how it’s supposed to feel but in reality it was nothing like it.” Again Harry paused still avoiding looking at Snape’s face. “In fact it made me kind of ill, seeing her….” Again another pause and Snape didn’t miss the shudder of revulsion that rocketed through Harry’s body. “All those bits and pieces, I’m not interested.” Finally Harry dared to look up and was a little shocked to find Snape calmly nodding his head, not an ounce of censure in his expression.

“You know don’t you?” Snape’s comment was simple, and Harry blushed a little at how quickly the elder wizard had read between the lines. It had taken him years to realize he wasn’t like his friends, but then again he’d been determined to fit in nonetheless.

“Kind of.” Harry muttered as he fiddled with the cuff of his jumper. “I never told anyone, I was freak to Uncle Vernon just for being a wizard, imagine him finding out I was…..” Harry didn’t want to say the word and instead, sighed heavily and continued. “It’s easy to make up shit when you’re with your friends. Charlie Weasley can easily become Ginny Weasley if you think hard enough. I thought if I tried it with Alice, it’d make things better but it only made me vomit on your shoes.” Snape smiled crookedly as Harry huffed a weak chuckle. “It was a waste of time really, it didn’t get me into your class did it?” Snape shook his head in reply, as he watched Harry sigh heavily and shrug his shoulders.

“I’m not sure there’s much I can tell you Potter, certainly nothing that’s going to make things easier.” Harry knew that was the truth, he’d lived with this problem long enough now to know, like most other things in his life his choices had made things difficult. “But, if I’ve learned something from my own experiences, it’s always to choose wisely who you give yourself too. Not everyone is what they seem, and some bruises can last a lifetime.” With a warm smile Harry nodded, this time rising from the lounge without hindrance.

“Thanks sir.” Harry whispered, feeling strangely satisfied that Snape had told him something so intimately private about himself, that none else probably knew. “It’s late.” Snape nodded and flicked his wand at the fireplace. The flames turned a green colour and Harry stepped towards them. “Goodnight sir.” Harry paused on the hearth to glance back at Snape over his shoulder.

“Good night Potter.” Snape muttered as the boy disappeared to be deposited on the Gryfindor Common Room carpet.

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Harry dawdled down to breakfast the next morning, already aware of the whispers that were circulating as he passed groups of students milling about the hallways. This was going to be painful, he’d known it from the moment he’d woken to Ron staring down at him sadly this morning. Taking a deep steadying breath Harry entered the bustle of the great hall. Every eye seemed to turn on him, as he walked slowly to his seat at the Gryfindor table. The sniggers and whispers were the worst, but he pointedly avoided acknowledging them as he sat down beside Ron, and opposite Hermione who were staring at him sympathetically. Harry smiled at them before reaching for a slice of toast, trying desperately to block out the stares. Thankfully no one dared to make comment to Harry about the night before, news had spread fast particularly of Harry’s colorful waterworks all over Snape.

Breakfast was passed in relative silence, Ron managing to discuss Transfiguration essays with Harry and Hermione. School was a safe topic for the morning, and Harry would be glad to be out of the hall, and back in the safety of the library.

With a screech the morning owl post began to arrive. Hedwig landed perfectly beside Harry with a small bundle of letters. Wiping his hands on his napkin, Harry flipped through his mail. Circular from Honeydukes, cheque from Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, a letter from Remus and a note from Hagrid for tea at his hut. Harry put his mail back on the table, but was surprised as Hedwig nudged them to the floor. Scolding his owl, Harry bent down to pick up his letters but was surprised when he saw a plain unmarked envelope sticking out from between his circular and letter from Remus. Frowning Harry collected his mail, and pulled the strange envelope out for closer inspection. Sliding his finger under the seal of the letter Harry opened it and read with disbelieve the short, note.

’11.30pm class 101’.

Harry was shocked and clutching the letter spun around on his bench to stare up at Snape who was sipping from his teacup at the top table and reading the newspaper. Harry was stunned as he watched Snape glance up from his paper to briefly meet Harry’s gaze, an eyebrow raised in acknowledgement before the potion professor went back to scowling at his paper in his usual unpleasant manner. Smiling Harry turned back to his friends at the table, who all seemed to have their own unmarked letters.

“Wow, Harry you must have done something right last night.” Ron declared as he shoved his own letter into his bag, and smiled almost proudly at Harry.

“Yeah, must have.” Harry muttered as he shoved his letter along with his own mail into his bag, before excusing himself from the table and heading for the library. If he was going to attend Snape’s class that afternoon, he’d have to finish his Transfiguration essay.

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TBC>>>>>>

A/N *Mphft* So bored, I'm reading Smallville Slash....mmmmm Lex/Clark........ Anyway, thankies for the reviews, glad you're all enjoying it.

RIFFRAFF