Tapping

The park was full of children, and Hermione sent Kevin to one of the jungle gyms where she could keep an eye on him. She led Draco to a bench and sat him down.

“I don’t hear from you enough,” she said.

“There’s not much to say,” he replied, folding his cane and setting it beside him. Sometimes he wondered if he could just decide to walk without it, but the world outside his apartment always proved a little bit too complicated. “My life is very uninteresting.”

“Sometimes I feel that way too,” she said softly.

“You’ve got Kevin.”

“He does keep things exciting,” she admitted.

“Is there no man in your life?” Draco asked.

“Occasionally,” she said, waving a hand. “But they usually turn tail when they find out about Kevin. He’s baggage.”

“I’m sorry,” Draco said.

“Don’t be,” Hermione said sharply. “I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.”

“Don’t you ever wish you could have waited?” Draco asked.

“Sometimes,” she said. “Mostly when Kevin runs in at five in the morning and wants to watch cartoons.”

Draco laughed despite himself, and Hermione joined him.

“He sounds like a handful,” Draco said.

“Not so bad,” Hermione murmured. “In fact I was thinking about having another baby.”

“But you said,” he started. He stopped. Then he took a breath and tried to start again. Finally he pointed his eyes at his feet and kept his silence.

“Draco?”

“You can’t be serious,” he whispered.

“Why not?” Hermione asked.

“Hermione, please,” Draco said.

“I’ve given it a lot of thought, you know.” She watched Kevin for a moment, waiting his turn in line for the sliding board. “He’s really beautiful.”

“Like you,” Draco said. “Probably smart, too.”

“Actually he looks a lot like you,” Hermione said. “Blond and kind of pouty.”

“‘Kind of pouty?’” Draco asked incredulously. “Is that how I look?”

“You know what I mean,” Hermione laughed.

Draco liked the sound of Hermione’s laughter. In school, he had chosen to find everything about her annoying; her voice, her laugh, her know-it-all ways. But with all the petty things from school behind them, he was able to admit to himself that she was someone worth knowing.

“Do you think he’ll figure it out, as he gets older?” Draco asked, listening to the children on the playground. Hermione made a humming sound.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “He has your eyes, you know. Like…before.”

“You mean cold?” Draco asked, grimacing. He had left his sunglasses at home when he left to meet them, and he turned away so she wouldn’t have an opportunity to look at his eyes.

“I mean gorgeous and blue,” she corrected. “Will you at least think about it?”

Draco grunted. Hermione waited for him to bring his attention back to her. It was so hard to tell what he was listening to and what he was ignoring. Finally his blank gaze wandered back towards her.

“How would…”

“It wouldn’t be anything like last time,” she said quickly.

Draco laughed mirthlessly. How could anything be like the last time?

“It would be clean. I’ve got a doctor and everything. You’d just go into a room with a cup.”

“And you really want to do this?” Draco asked.

“Only if you’ll be the father,” she said.

“That’s a lot of pressure,” he said, forcing a smile. He looked like he was going to be sick.

“I know. I just want you to think about it.”

“How can you even bear to look at me?” he asked. “After everything I’ve put you through.”

“You haven’t,” she said.

“You know, Granger, I could always tell when you didn’t believe what you were saying by the look in your eyes,” he said softly. “Not so much anymore.”

“Trust me when I say that I do.”

“How much do you remember, Hermione?” he asked, his voice timid.

“Not a lot,” she admitted. “I blacked out pretty quickly.”

“Ah.”

“And you?”

Draco smoothed his bangs back out of his eyes and leaned back on the bench. He was stalling, and he knew it. They had managed to avoid talking about this for over five years.

“Everything,” he said.

He startled slightly as she took his hand. Hers was small and warm and soft, and she wrapped it around his palm silently.

“I haven’t even told Ron about it,” Draco said.

“He doesn’t know?” She sounded surprised; Draco chuckled ruefully.

“Only the parts I couldn’t avoid telling him. My psychiatrists said I was being difficult.”

Small footsteps pounded quickly up to them, and Hermione slid her hand out of his quickly.

“Are you ready to go to the museum?” she asked.

“Jamie said she and her dad were going to get ice cream,” Kevin said excitedly. Draco winced slightly; children were so loud sometimes. “Can we get some later?”

“Draco, how does that sound?” Hermione asked. “After the museum, maybe?”

“Only if someone eats his dinner,” Draco said sternly, smiling. Kevin laughed, the response Draco had hoped for.

“Shall we then?” Hermione asked, standing. Draco unfolded his cane and stood up.

“Kevin, would you like to lead me again?” he asked, offering his hand.

“Sure,” Kevin said, putting Draco’s hand on his shoulder. He was fairly tall for five, Draco noticed.

“Hermione,” he said.

“Yes?”

“We can talk about this later, if you like.”

She nodded, then thought better of it.

“Okay.”